Classes were advanced here. We had moved on to volatile potions in Potioneering and Alchemy class. I enjoyed it, too. Sebastian and I always excelled at potions. And I wanted to impress Professor Sharp, so I paid extra attention every day. And Magical Plants and Herbs was the same way. Everything always needed handled with extra care. I loved it though. We were still learning so much even though we weren't home. I had been worried we wouldn't receive the same level of education as we would have received at Hogwarts.
Seb especially loved Dueling Class. Practically no rules and almost daily duels. He was always in his element. I thought he would have made a really good Auror but neither of us really wanted anything to do with the Ministry. Understandably.
Today was no different in Dueling Class. The professor, as usual, called for a duel and it looked like my time trying to hide inside the crowd had ended.
"Let's have a duel today, shall we?" He spoke. "Let's go with... our first and second place Champions. Mr. Avery, Ms. Bennett if you will, please step to the center of the room. I think we are all curious after watching your last task about how you two will fare against each other." The Professor smiled.
Will was cheekily grinning at me. He had wanted a proper duel since the first day I met him. I squeezed Seb's hand and he gave me an encouraging smile. I pulled away reluctantly and went to join Will in the center dueling rectangle in the room.
Will shook my hand and I squeezed back equally. "Good luck, Rach." He smiled at me.
"You too, Will." My smile echoed his.
"Now, you may use nonverbal magic. Wandless magic. Anything we have been discussing this term. I expect you to have a clean duel. Let's not get carried away... but show us what you've got! Begin!" The Professor called.
We both put our wands at the ready and circled each other in small half circles on each side of our dueling rectangle, sizing each other up.
Will's wand flourished without a word spoken. It looked like a disarming charm.
"Protego!" I yelled quickly. And shot a well timed, silent Stupefy back at him, hoping to catch him off guard.
"Protego!" He yelled back just in time.
We circled again.
I concentrated, flipped my wand and sent a knockback jinx his way. Not knowing what I was sending, he rolled to the side, coming back up to his feet while flourishing his wand, sending what appeared to be a levitation charm at me. I jumped to the other side and his charm missed completely.
We studied each other again. Pacing our semi-circles with our eyes locked.
I decided to go with a reliable standby, "Accio!" I called and it hit him square in the chest and immediately pulled him to me by his shirt.
"Finite!" He called instantly and dropped back down to his feet. "Flipendo!" he yelled, to counter.
I silently shielded just in time and then yelled "Stupefy!" Trying to nail him. He froze. I must have stunned him.
"Levioso!" I called and he rose into the air a yard or so and hung there stunned. "Glacius." I said calmly. He immediately froze, encased in ice. I smiled. I was about to deliver a quick end when he instantly melted and landed on his feet.
He must have silently undid my charms.
He whipped around quickly and sent a blasting charm my way, yelling "Confringo!" I did a quick swift-roll and dashed myself to the complete other side of the dueling rectangle. I looked him in the eyes. A blasting charm was NOT clean play. His eyes looked a little hurt. He was upset that I had gotten the better of him for a moment... well, if he wasn't going to play fair... then, game on!
Silently, I sent the exploding charm his way, thinking hard to myself, Bombarda! It hit him and he flew backwards, high in the air and then landed hard on his bottom. He looked up at me, anger filling his eyes. I'd never seen Will look like that. He didn't even get up but shot the slashing charm right at my chest, yelling out, "Diffindo!"
I didn't get completely out of the way in time and half my robe was split down and fell to the floor in a crumpled heap. He didn't get skin. I breathed in relief.
I looked him in the eyes again, hurt and anger now filling my eyes, too.
We were both out of breath. I didn't want to hurt him, but I wanted to show him a little something.... So, I reached my wand into the air, channeling my ancient magic and slashed it down calling a bolt of lightning that shot right to the ground next to him, singeing the bottom of his pants and making his hair stand up on end.
Everyone in the class gasped. I looked over at Seb, who was smugly grinning.
Will looked completely taken off guard. His mouth was hanging open slightly. Then his eyes narrowed and his wand flourished quickly. One right after another, fast, silent strikes. I could only shield and shield and shield. Protecting myself from whatever he was throwing.
He took a brief enough pause and I shot a silent flipendo his way. He shielded and I kept going. Throwing jinxes like he did. And then he countered with a stupefy that hit me. I've never successfully ended a jinx or charm before. I concentrated hard, channeling my power and thought Finite. Just as I unfroze, he threw a disarming charm and my wand flew out of my hand landing with a clatter across the room.
His smug smirk, thinking it was all over, pissed me off. I felt my belly getting hot with rage. I closed my fist, calling down my ancient magic and letting it pool in the palm of my hand. I could feel my eyes wash over with that same rage and power, turning red.
He looked so stunned at my appearance that he didn't shield or counter at all when I pushed my palm forward, shooting a shockwave across the room that not only knocked him against the wall but threw the few close onlookers back and they stumbled around too.
Everyone in the class was whispering to each other and gasping. I tried to tune them out.
Will got up from the floor where he had slid down and took a few tentative steps forward. He took a deep breath; his eyes were focused and angry. I saw the red sparks forming at the end of his wand... I knew what was coming.
"CRUCIO!" He cried and I braced myself for the oncoming pain.
"FINITE INCANTATEM!" I thought it was the professor stepping in again, but I opened my eyes to find Seb standing directly in front of me. His fist was clenched and he was breathing hard.
"Mr. Sallow. You were not asked to intervene. Please, return to your desk. And Mr. Avery, you are disqualified. The use of Unforgivable Curses was not sanctioned for this duel. The winner is Ms. Bennett."
Everyone was still whispering to each other. I touched Seb's arm lightly and he broke his eye contact with Will to look at me. "Are you ok, darling?" He asked, looking deeply concerned.
"I'm fine. Thank you. It's ok, Seb. He just got caught up..."
"JUST got caught up...?" He said indignantly.
"Seb, please. Let me talk to him. Please." I plead with him with my eyes.
He searched my eyes for a few seconds and then sighed deeply. I could see he was placing his trust in me. I gave him a soft look and squeezed his arm reassuringly, nodding to him.
I made my way across the room to where Will was seated against the wall with his knees pulled up, his arms dangling over the top of them. He was twirling his wand around between his fingers looking serious.
I extended my hand to him in a gesture to help pull him up. He looked at my hand for a moment and then grasped it. I pulled sharply and he came to his feet.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked him, timidly.
"Not here..."
I stared at him, but he wouldn't make eye contact with me. He just looked at the ground, in shame.
"Ok. Well. You know where to find me." I turned to go back to Seb.
"Wait. Don't go. Wait with me. Until after class. Please." He still wasn't looking at me.
"Ok. Just let me tell Sebastian and I'll be back." He looked like he wanted to protest. "I WILL be back, ok? I promise." I squeezed his hand quickly and walked back to Seb.
"Seb, something's going on with him. I need to talk to him after class, ok?"
"Yeah, something's definitely going on with him... he just tried to TORTURE you, Rach. I don't like the idea of you being alone with him right now."
"Seb, he won't hurt me. I know it. And as I recall, you once tortured me with that same curse."
His mouth fell open. "That was COMPLETELY different, Rachel! Our lives depended on it! HOW CAN YOU EVEN..." He was really mad. I interjected quickly.
"Seb, shhh. We're still in class. I'm asking you to please trust me. Please. Just this once show me that you can trust me and let me handle my own business. Please."
He was searching my eyes again. And he finally sighed deeply. "You know I trust you. I always have. I always will. Please be careful with him. Something is not right. I can feel it in my gut. I KNOW it."
"I know you're concerned. And I will honor that by being careful. I promise." I leaned up and kissed his cheek. He closed his eyes momentarily and just at that moment the professor dismissed the class. I walked away before he could protest further and made my way to Will.
"Ready?" I asked, looking at Will.
He didn't reply but grasped my hand and we walked out of the classroom together. He led me to a part of the castle I hadn't seen before.
"Where are we?"
"This is the entrance to the dormitory. I just have to grab something. I'll be back. Stay here."
He disappeared in through the doors. I paced the hall. I don't know what was going on with him. This was a side of him he hadn't shown me before. I didn't know what to expect...
He returned quickly. With a small parchment in his hands. He folded it and held it tightly.
"Will, just tell me what is going on with you... Please. You've never been like this with me and I'm concerned. I know I've blown you off the last couple times you wanted to hang out, but I really needed to be with my other friends and with Seb. This tournament has really made me neglect them. I didn't mean to upset you." I was sort of rambling on as I was confused about his actions and that scary look in his eyes. There was still a shadow of that look in his eyes.
He sighed. "I know. And you're right. I was upset that you had blown me off. We spent all that time alone in the infirmary and I thought we were getting close, but it felt like all of a sudden you were released and had no need for me anymore so it was 'bye Will' and you just went back to your friends like I didn't exist. I know that's not how it was... but that's how it felt." He huffed out.
"Will. Look at me, please."
"I can't. The second I do..."
"What... What would happen?"
"I'll lose my nerve to tell you everything I need to tell you."
Oh. That did not sound good at all. Please, please, not another boy with feelings for me that I can't return...
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I still struggle with finding the right balance in my life for all those that I care about. And that does include you."
He was silent, still staring at the floor.
He sighed and finally spoke, "I'm sorry. For letting the duel get out of hand. I'm really sorry."
"It's ok, Will. You were caught up. I got caught up too. I could have really hurt you with my anc... my... with my spells."
His head snapped up. "You're what...?" He asked. Looking incredulous.
"Nothing, nothing. Just with the spells I was throwing."
"You're lying. I can tell." His brows furrowed and he stared me down, his bright blue eyes trying to dig into my brain and find the answer that I suspected somehow, he already knew.
Well, if I wanted him in my life, I supposed it was time to be honest.
"I have powers. Special powers. It's an ancient magic that hasn't been around for centuries. I know very little about it and I'm only just now learning how to control it."
I stood there trying to let him absorb the information. But he didn't look stunned. Or surprised. He just stood there looking at me.
"Well. It's about time you admitted it to me."
Now it was my turn to be stunned. "What?"
His eyes were staring deeply into mine. He pulled out the parchment and handed it to me.
I broke away from his eyes and opened the parchment. It looked like an adoption paper. Parents named 'Avery' signed at the bottom. It looked pretty standard. "You're adopted?" I asked.
"Yes." He said without inflection. As if he was waiting for something else...
I looked back at the parchment. The child was a boy... black hair, blue eyes. A birthmark. On his thigh.
My heart started to race.
He was born on 29 August, 1875.
My hands were shaking.
Given name, William Henry Greengrass.
"What... what is this? Wh... How... You knew? You knew this whole time, didn't you? YOU FUCKING KNEW! You! You sent me that note. At Hogwarts. On the first day of classes."
I took a step backward. The parchment fell from my hand that was still shaking.
"What the fuck is going on here, Will?" My eyes were accusatory, I could tell. I was reeling. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew my whole world was on a thin thread right now and it could be cut so easily.
"Yes, I knew. I just... I missed my chance to tell you out right from the beginning and then it just became this big thing that I knew if I told you you'd freak out because I had waited so long. And then the right time never happened. Or came close and I chickened out... I just... Today, when I saw your powers for myself.... I have them, too. I've been hiding them because... well, you've been imprisoned for yours... so I think you understand. But no one knows and no one can help me. And... you could. We could help each other. And today during the duel... I just... I realized I have to tell you. Now. So, here I am telling you. I'm your brother. Your... twin brother." He finished, breathing heavily as all this came out rushed, like he was confessing to a murder.
His bright blue eyes were looking back and forth between mine, searching for some recognition or some sign that I understood him, a sign we were still connected.
I didn't know what to feel, what to think... I was spinning out...
"The note... why did you send that note..."
"I... I planned to come there. I knew you were at Hogwarts. And I... I don't know... it was my dumb way of trying to reach out blindly and feel a connection that I hadn't made yet... I don't know... I wanted to meet you. My parents just told me when I turned seventeen that I had a twin and suddenly things were coming together... I had read in the papers about this witch in Scotland who had these powers and helped stopped the goblin rebellion and then had committed these crimes and been to prison. I knew it had to be my sister. And then they released your mugshot with your birthdate on it. I knew it. I just... I wanted to meet you. I wanted you to help me. I wanted to help you. I wanted... a family."
His eyes were begging me now. Pleading with me for that connection. He was trembling, head to toe.
I realized I was too.
"I... I thought it was a threat... I thought... I mean... was it a threat?"
"God, no. I don't want to hurt you. I want to... have my sister. With me. Always. My adopted family... they don't love me. They think of me as a disappointment and an embarrassment. I... I have no one. I wanted... my sister." He was choked up by the end. His big blue eyes glassy with unshed tears. His breathing heavy as he waited for my answer.
I was searching his face for answers, for any sign he wasn't telling me the absolute truth, for any threat. All I saw was vulnerability. Loneliness. And fear. The fear of rejection.
I was so familiar with everything he was expressing. And the moment I found out I had a brother, I wanted to know him too.
"Will." I said softly. A tear falling out of my eye. I hadn't even noticed they had been gathering in my eyes.
"Rachel. Finally." He spoke.
We both grabbed each other so hard and wrapped our arms around each other tightly. Tears were streaming down my face. "Will. Will." I just kept saying his name over and over. I couldn't believe it. Here he was. My brother. Here in my arms.
"Rachel. I'm so glad you know now." He said into my hair. "It's been killing me."
"You stupid moron. You're so stupid. You should have told me the second I came here. Stupid!" I admonished him while holding on tightly.
He chuckled. "You're right. You're right. I'm sorry."
That feeling was there. The same feeling I'd always had with him. The static electricity feeling of a connection that was always there waiting to be discovered. Now I could identify it. My soul was connected to this soul. We were twins. The same blood. The same flesh. Created from the same womb. Born together. Split apart. Now we were one again. I laughed. He laughed.
We pulled apart looking at each other with tears in our eyes. Both laughing.
"Well... what do we do now?" I asked.
"I don't know... but I can tell you one thing... I want you to teach me that move... the one with your palm. It's totally badass."
I burst out laughing and hugged him again, hard. Feeling so connected to this one person. It was incredible.
--
Will and I didn't go to lunch. Or to afternoon classes. I sent a note to Seb telling him everything was fine. I was just working things out with Will and not to worry. I told him we'd be down by the lake if he wanted to join us. I knew he wouldn't, but I wanted to put his mind at ease. I also knew he would worry anyway. I just thought it would be worse if I just disappeared off the face of the earth.
Will and I spent time down at the docks by the big ship. A light snow was falling on the lake and it was a beautiful afternoon. We skipped rocks on the partially frozen lake and talked.
We talked about our childhoods and how we found out about each other. His parents had finally told him when he turned seventeen a couple of months ago that he was adopted and had a twin sibling that they didn't take as we were already separated before that, and they didn't know who or where I was.
I told him about my stint at the Ministry and how I managed to come across my birth certificate accidentally. I even told him about the prophecy. I cried while talking about our mother. He teared up, too. Especially the part about the love she felt when holding her swollen belly with us inside it.
He grabbed my hand and held tightly when I explained our mother's dreams and the Seer's trance.
"Are we... going to destroy everything?" He asked.
"I don't know. I mean.... we are reunited. Maybe this is the turning point."
We sat there on the dock, holding hands tightly, both silent, thinking deeply and watching the sky darken behind the snow-throwing clouds.
"Do you think ... this was all prophesied? Are we some kind of foretold power? Or something...." He asked.
"I don't know... It always feels surreal to me. Everything I've been through. I don't feel like some special thing or some crazy thing or some powerful thing.... I'm just me. Just me. And you're just you. Does anything else really matter?"
He thought for a minute. "No. No, it really doesn't." He chuckled squeezing my hand. "I think as long as we stay together... nothing else matters."
"I agree. Now that we're together, I don't ever want to be apart again."
I leaned my head on his shoulder.
"Together? You two are together?" Sebastian had come up from behind us and was standing there with his chest heaving and his fists clenched.
"No, Seb. It's not what you think... I promise."
"Really? Here I find you leaning up against another man, holding his hand and promising to always stay together.... tell me exactly what the fuck I'm supposed to think!"
"Seb, please. Let me explain..."
"DON'T. Don't call me 'Seb' in that tone like I can trust you right now."
"You can! You can always trust me!" I yelled, letting go of Will's hand and standing up. The emptiness of letting go of him filled me quickly.
"No. No, I can't. Not anymore." He turned to walk away, clenching and unclenching his fists.
"Sebastian! Wait!" I yelled. "You don't understand."
I looked back to Will. He nodded as if to say, "Tell him."
"He's my brother!" I yelled, tears welling in my eyes.
Seb stopped dead in his tracks. His fists stopped clenching. He just stood there. Then he ran his hand through his hair. "Are you sure?" He barely spoke out.
"Yes. I'm sure." I said firmly.
He turned around slowly. And his dark eyes were fixed on me and didn't even drift slightly in Will's direction. "What about the note?"
"It was all a misunderstanding. He wanted to reach out, but he was scared... it's a long story. Please, believe me. It's ok. It really is. He's my twin brother. And... we're together now." I was begging him to understand.
He didn't really look very convinced. "I still don't trust you." At first, I thought he was talking to me, but Will answered him.
"I know. I don't blame you. But I'll earn your trust. You're in Rachel's life. So, that means you're in my life too."
Sebastian didn't look at him once. He just kept staring at me. "Will you come with me? Right now? Please?" He extended his hand to me slowly; it was shaking. I knew this was a pivotal moment.
I did NOT want to abandon my brother. After all, we were JUST reunited once again. Being separated right now was not on my agenda.
But if I didn't take Seb's hand right now, we would never be the same again.
I stepped forward and put my hand in his. He closed his fingers around my hand, closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. I could feel his relief wash over me; it was so strong.
I turned my head slightly, "Will, I have to go. But you're not alone. Not anymore. I promise."
"Ok, Rach. I'll talk to you later." He said softly, knowing I had just actively chosen my boyfriend over my flesh and blood brother.
"Rachel, please, come." Seb said. He didn't pull me. He wanted me to choose him and walk away with him willingly.
I stepped forward and Seb turned to walk, too. We left the docks and walked back to our tent together. He didn't speak the whole time.
--
He paced. I sat on the couch. It was quickly becoming "our" couch. He paced in front of the fire. Just working through everything. Waiting... for what, I didn't know. But I could tell. He needed to work this all out for himself. So, I just let him pace and I sat there quietly.
Omi and Anne entered the tent, presumably from dinner, holding hands and talking sweetly. Their eyes fell on us at the same time. They felt the tension and released hands, their faces falling. They came straight over.
"Ominis. He's her brother." Seb blurted out immediately.
"HEY! Not exactly your secret to tell there, Sebastian! Also, you told Ominis everything I presume.... and didn't tell me you did that. Why am I even surprised?" I was irritated instantly. Here he was pacing back and forth not speaking a WORD to me for over an hour. And then his first thing said aloud was revealing something private about ME to Ominis.
"Of COURSE I told him everything. He loves you too. We're all supposed to be in this together. Remember? And Anne is my sister. She always knows everything about me."
Ok, now I was fuming. "Are you fucking KIDDING me right now?"
"What?" He said, looking totally innocent.
"I can't believe this." I shook my head in disbelief. "I thought all this was private between us. And as I recall, you BIT my head off for confiding in someone who wasn't YOU and then you go and do it behind my back and just expect me to be ok with it because it's Omi who loves me and Anne your sister. And you JUST made me make an active decision to choose YOU over my own FLESH AND BLOOD TWIN BROTHER. I left him! Right there on the docks. And left with you. You haven't spoken to me in over an hour and it turns out you just wanted to talk to Ominis and Anne... about MY private life. I cannot believe you, Sebastian." I threw my hands in the air. "I give up. I'll let you three decide what's best for me and my life while I go take a hot bath." I turned to head to the dorm.
I turned back just as I opened the door to enter the dorm, "DON'T bother me the rest of the night. Unless you want me to really show you how mad I am right now." I slammed the door and stripped my clothes off, heading to the tub.
--
It was times like this that I missed the Undercroft. Or the Room of Requirement. Or home with mum and Archie. When I just needed somewhere to escape. Something to distract me. I couldn't sleep. I couldn't even think about anything other than Will. Not even how mad I was at Sebastian. Just Will. He consumed my entire mind. My brother. My twin. Right here at Durmstrang. And I was here too. Fate had brought us together. And I was trapped in this stupid fucking tent! I got up out of bed and went to the door to the common area.
I opened it carefully and quietly, peeked through to make sure it was empty. It was. So, I went out and paced in front of the fire right outside our door. What was Will thinking right now.... was he feeling as trapped as I was? Did he feel as fulfilled as I did at finding me? Maybe not because he knew I was his sister. And he kept that from me... but my joy of reuniting with him overshadowed my irritation at his secret keeping. In truth, I don't know what I would have done in his exact situation: knowing the truth and wanting to connect but watching those perfect moments pass by, not able to do it. I understood. I really did.
From the moment I met Will, I understood him. Strange how some part of me recognized him and understood his ways without my knowing it. I needed to be with my brother. I couldn't explain it. It was a deep urge. It was like a pull. Like a wave crashing in on the shore and swooping back out taking parts of the shore with it. And uncontrollable thing. I NEEDED to be with my brother.
I think I finally understood a little more about Sebastian now too. Two summers ago, when he described feeling an irresistible urge to be with his twin. I got it. A part of me wanted to go tell him I understood it now. But it was irrelevant. We had reconciled that part of our past. And I was still so mad at him.
He was always doing this. Putting his needs first. And telling me what I wanted and what I felt wasn't as important. He was always making decisions about my life and telling me to follow them. And stupidly, I always had. I would follow him into the burning fires of hell and tell myself it was the right thing to do. I had no idea why... other than the reason that I loved him. No sane person would do for him everything I had and yet... I continued doing it. I continued letting him control me and my life... and now he expected it. How do you change that? Without it completely changing, or worse, ENDING the relationship? I did NOT want that to happen. I loved him so much, it hurt.
I didn't have the answer. And the only thing I knew was I really needed to be with my brother. I needed to start to plan how we were going to accomplish that... After this ludicrous tournament, I was set to return to Hogwarts. I could talk to Professor Weasley and Professor Black... Maybe I could transfer to Durmstrang for the rest of the year. But there's no way Seb would go for that!
I ran my fingers through my hair. It was growing back and almost to my shoulders now and I had adopted Seb's habit of running my hands through it when I was frustrated or thinking deeply.
I sighed. There were no clear answers. And here I was not sleeping. Not eating. Not knowing what to do next... how to reconcile the different sides of my life. What in the hell was I going to do?
What was I going to do?
--
--
How does everyone feel about the big reveal?
And who's more justified in their anger? Seb or Rach?