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C E R I S E
29
"Just an appendage; live to attend him."
???. Red Room
September, 1995
"I'M better, 'lena."
"No, I'm better, Vay."
"No, I'm better."
"Fine, let's go again."
Vay and Yelena both turned to their targets.
They were currently practicing shooting with the small pistols that Papa and Madame B had supplied. They were very nice and shiny and Vay had an itch to touch and keep all of them for herself because they were so shiny and reflected the light. Some of them weren't, and those she stayed away from, because they weren't very pretty.
Currently, she and Yelena were trying to see who was shooting at the target better than the other. They were tied 8-8 now, on how many head shots they'd gotten. Vay was technically better because she was using the hand she usually never used to shoot a gun because Papa needed to make this training productive for her.
Vay pulled the trigger to her gun three times.
All three ripped through the head part of the wooden target, which splintered more and more. They would have to replace the target soon. She turned her head to see Yelena had also managed to get all three of her bullets at the target's head.
Vay huffed.
Two months had passed since she and Papa had arrived at the Red Room. Madame B was still very intimidating and Dreykov barely visited. Uncle Kaz roamed the halls and sometimes Vay would see him. He would give her a small smile then continue on his way to dispose of a widow who was just a mistake. She saw him kill the students who were at the bottom of their classes. Vay understood why all the girls were scared of him, not that they knew how kind Uncle Kaz could be.
They only knew him as the dog that stole– Wolf Spider.
The girls were mean but Vay didn't have to deal with that much, since they were not allowed to spar or partner with her. Uncle Pierce– Sasha to Papa– said it wouldn't be fair because Vay would just remove all of them, and that wasn't okay.
Vay didn't mind.
Sometimes though, she got to eat the lights of the mistakes.
Those times, Vay didn't feel very good inside but she didn't feel hungry anymore, so. . .Vay guessed it wasn't so bad.
Anyway, Papa hadn't been very mean ever since the incident– they decided to call it the incident now. Papa started teaching her in the room when they were supposed to sleep. Vay wasn't very tired and Papa seemed to be very determined to change all the things Commander Rumlow had taught her. She didn't mind– she liked fighting like Papa, because Papa fought like he danced, and it was very pretty.
Commander Rumlow fought very fiercely but Papa fought very gracefully and Vay liked being graceful.
Like the ballerina dancers.
Bang. Bang. Bang.
Vay and Yelena both emptied their clips. The guns were empty as they placed them down on the table in front of them. They both inspected each others targets from behind the table, groaning as they realized they'd tied again.
"Okay, how about we just agree that we're both good at this?" Yelena– Lena now– suggested.
Vay tapped her chin, before shrugging in surrender.
"Okay." She agreed happily.
Vay had started to spend most of her time with Yelena when she was brought out to train with the other girls her age. They were not as strong as Yelena because Vay had managed to help Yelena become better than everyone else because she accepted that pain was necessary. Vay was glad the lesson had helped, even though she'd gotten in trouble for it.
Papa didn't train her with pain like Commander Rumlow did, but that's why Vay could learn so fast now.
She was glad Commander Rumlow had taught her to be good.
Vay walked away from her table, Yelena following behind her. Everyone else was finishing up with their guns too, returning back to the single file row Papa usually kept them in. Vay stood next to Yelena. There were only ten girls now– including Vay.
Uncle Kaz had killed half of them while Vay ate the rest of their light.
Madame B entered the gun range and all the girls who'd finished shooting faced her. There were only six of them who'd finished, but Madame B didn't pay them any attention. She had a stack of clothes– dresses. It was the clothes the ballerinas wore and flat shoes. Madame B approached the row of girls, before turning to Vay, Lena and the other girl at the top of their class– Bella.
"The three of you will take these uniforms, change, and follow the Soldier to be further conditioned. Is that understood?" Madame B spoke firmly as she handed each of them a pile of uniforms.
Vay took the uniform with a straight back and careful gaze.
Lena copied her and so did Bella.
Vay glanced at Papa as Madame B moved to stand in front of their single file line. It was silent as Papa only watched the other widows in training finish practicing to shoot. They returned to the line and Madame B slammed her cane into the ground. The girls turned and followed her, all except for the trio with the new uniforms.
Papa watched the other girls leave, before beckoning them to follow him.
They walked in a single file line, not speaking a word as they traveled the halls. Papa led them through long halls before Vay recognized the exit she'd once taken with Uncle Kaz. They stepped outside and the three of them controlled themselves, not reacting to the sun even though it felt so nice. They quickly entered the next building.
There were girls sitting on the ground near the piano and the broad open area. Uncle Kaz was standing in the corner, leaning against the wall near the piano. His arms were crossed and his eyes were focused on the girls pulling their shoes over their feet.
His eyes flicked to Vay, brightening for a split second before falling dull again. Papa brought the three of them to the older girls, and that's when Vay saw her at the same moment Lena gasped. The redhead with the beautiful emerald eyes was sitting, tying her shoes.
She looked up when Lena gasped.
Her eyes flashed with recognition and Vay wondered how they knew each other. It didn't matter– she was just glad they were able to start practicing with the older girls. It meant that they were better, and it meant that Vay didn't need to take Lena's light.
She liked being with Lena, even though she wasn't supposed to like.
"The three of you need to change." Papa stated, before turning to Vay. "Come here, Vay."
Lena and Bella started to take off the uniform they wore when practicing shooting.
The older girls watched as Vay padded over to Papa. It was the first time they were watching her interact with Papa, and it instantly created an air of hostility between the girls and her. Papa was gentle as he helped her change, taking her clothes and folding them to the side. She put her toes through the tights then the loops of the strange looking uniform. He helped her get into the actual dress part– the skirt?- before taking a step back.
Papa looked very proud as Vay spun around in a circle.
"Very good." He praised.
He patted her head and Vay brightened.
She padded back over towards Lena and Bella. They were unaffected by her special treatment, because they'd spent enough time with her and Papa to know that they were closer because they practically lived together. They were always together and inseparable and so the pair had given up on feeling jealous.
It was pointless anyway, especially when Papa was so protective.
The older girls, though, they only looked on with carefully hidden anger.
After a few moments, Madame B entered the broad area as well. Papa didn't seem to be too knowledgeable about the dancing part of all this, so Madame B took the reigns. She stood in front of all of them as the girls finished putting on their shoes.
Vay looked down at her shoes, then the older girls' shoes. They were different, more blocky and flat at the front. Vay guessed they weren't ready to have the older girls' shoes yet. She didn't mind that. She would get better in time.
"I expect the three, younger girls, are treated just as you treat your other peers." Madame B stated firmly, before glancing at the trio. "They will dance first to show you the routine. Your responsibility is to replicate their routine alongside them the second time. Is that understood?"
"Yes, Madame B." The trio replied in sync,
Vay couldn't help but pout a little inside.
It would be so boring to just watch the girls. But alas, it wasn't up to her. She, Lena and Bella stepped out of line. Vay sat down on the floor next to Papa as she watched the older girls. The redhead was at the front of the row while the girl at the very back started to play the piano for them.
They started to spin and twirl together, looking graceful and beautiful as they did. Vay found herself mesmerized by the movements– it reminded her of her Papa when he fought. Maybe that's why they were teaching them dance.
The older girls crossed their legs and lowered themselves before standing back up to their feet. They tilted downward, nearly reaching the floor with their flowy arms before twirling upward to stand. They spun again and repeated the motion before taking a jump forward and returning back.
It looked difficult, but Vay was always up for any challenges.
The older girls stopped soon after, when Madame B tapped her cane.
"Join them." Madame B ordered firmly. "The sequence will be repeated until I tap my cane."
Vay shot up to her feet and instantly stood in front of the redhead. The older girl gazed down at her wings and Vay felt a little self-conscious. She gazed up at the older girl, then tilted her head when the older girl's heart started to hammer fast in her chest. She wasn't looking at her wings anymore, but Lena.
They must've knew each other, somehow.
Lena tried to squeeze between them and Vay decided to take a step back, allowing Lena to stand in front of the red haired girl. Once the three of them got in line, the music started again, and the three of them were forced to start the dance by memory.
Under the lull of the piano Yelena spoke.
"Natalia." It was a whisper.
That must've been the red haired girl's name.
"Yelena." Natalia replied, her voice lower than a whisper. "Sister."
Vay focused and didn't react to the newfound knowledge. Yelena had a sister and her sister was the strongest of the students– Natalia, the red haired girl. Vay was astonished by this, though she wasn't too surprised since Yelena learned very fast too.
She padded back and forth as she copied the flow of the other girls as best as possible. It was different, because her wings were very hard to keep closed. Her wings were itching to open, especially with the sunlight coming in through the broad windows.
Vay cross her legs and lowered herself before standing back up to her feet. Good, that was right. Then she tilted downward like they all did, reaching the floor with steady arms. She twirled as she stood, spun, then repeated the motion before taking a graceful jump forward and back.
This was actually. . .very easy.
But this time, Madame B didn't click her cane. Right, the sequence would repeat. She exhaled softly as they repeated the same dance. She was careful as they shuffled back and forth– as they jumped back and forth. Her wings wanted to open and dance along with the rest of her but then Vay would hit Bella with serrated wings.
A few minutes passed and Vay still felt okay.
The pattern continued, the keys of the piano clicking beautifully. Vay jumped back and forth, back and forth– twirled again and again and again. Until her feet started aching and her legs trembled. The older girls were starting to feel the pain too, but they were better.
This is why this sort of training was difficult.
It was like it never ended.
Vay felt sweat trickle down her forehead. How many minutes had passed? She wasn't sure. The same music repeated over and over again, the same movement repeating over and over and over and over and over and over and–
Crack.
One of the older girls collapsed.
Madame B slammed her cane into the ground twice and they instantly stopped moving. Vay followed suit, straightening as she watched Madame B approach an older girl with long, dark hair, braided prettily behind her. Madame B crouched down to examine the older girl's ankle. It was twisted in a direction it wasn't supposed to be.
How long had they been dancing for, that even Vay had broken a sweat?
"Wolf." Madame B called.
Vay didn't understand why she suddenly was talking about a wolf.
Then she felt the air shift as all the girls stopped breathing. Uncle Kaz had moved from his corner, stepping forward with menacing footsteps. The girls were afraid but Vay wasn't because Uncle Kaz would always be her Uncle, even if he wasn't allowed to be.
He stopped beside Madame B.
The older girl was shaking beneath her. She continued to shake as Uncle Kaz leaned down. He watched her for a moment, before suddenly grabbing her by her throat. Bones snapped under his hand and the girls head lolled to the side unnaturally.
Uncle Kaz stood with the girl's corpse.
He traveled around the other girls before entering a door next to the piano. The moment he disappeared, the older girls started to breathe again.
Papa exhaled.
"Do you have objections, Winter?" Madame B spoke slowly.
"No, Ma'am." Papa replied swiftly.
Madame B nodded her head before turning her eyes back to the girls.
She slammed her cane against the ground. The girl at the piano started to play again and the dance continued. Vay found herself intrigued. This was difficult, but Vay was good at doing difficult things.
She remained poised no matter how much her legs wanted to give out beneath her. She kept her wings still no matter how much she needed to dance with them. She remained on her feet even when the balls of her feet screamed to be given rest. She was practicing as best she could. A part of her wondered what would happen if she fell.
She was sure that she was far too important to be disposed of like the mistakes.
The music felt like it was infinite and the dancing felt even more infinite.
But after maybe an hour or two– she wasn't sure– Madame B finally tapped her cane. Multiple girls collapsed the moment the cane hit; they'd been waiting for the sign of release. Vay remained on her feet, even though she felt like their were pins and needles pricking the bottom of her feet.
Vay glanced at Lena to see she had a determined face as she also stood.
Natalia also remained standing with them, along with two other girls.
That was good.
Vay thought that was very good for all of them.
The sound of a snap echoed and Vay quickly turned her head to see Papa was pointing at the ground in front of him. She darted out of line, wings fluttering as she dropped directly in front of him. She looked up at him. He reached forward and started to remove the dress she was wearing.
Vay pursed her lips, confused.
None of the other girls were changing yet.
"Winter–" Madame B spoke.
Papa stared at her with a frigid gaze.
"No." He snapped. "She is mine; and she needs to train with more purpose. She is done today."
Madame B exhaled, then inclined her head in surrender.
Papa looked down at Vay, his gaze soft. She followed his actions, pulling the dance uniform off and allowing Papa to put her back in the more comfortable tac gear. She folded her wings carefully, pushing them through the holes in the shirt. Vay blinked as Papa grasped her, picking her up. Vay climbed around him and sat on his back, leaning her chin on his shoulder as she watched the other girls.
She told Papa that she would listen to him, even if it confused her.
Because Papa was always right.
Vay felt a little left out but didn't mind that Papa was holding her. The dancing continued until Madame B decided that was enough.
"Winter, train them on the mats." Madame B said dismissively, sounding tired.
Papa inclined his head before turning towards the girls, who were starting to change out of their uniforms. Papa crouched down and Vay climbed off his back, grasping his hand instead. She stood next to him as the other girls got into a single file line.
Papa was acting off today, and Vay's duty was also to make sure that Papa felt okay. So she stayed next to him even when the girls gave her looks that questioned her movements. Vay was special though, and that specialness allowed her to have privileges that these girls didn't have with Papa.
They turned down a hall Vay hadn't ventured through before.
Maybe Lena and Bella were permanently getting moved with the older girls.
That was good.
Vay hummed under her breath as they entered a huge training area. She looked up at the glass ceiling, her lips twitching upward. The older girls started to divide between the mats, staying with partners or finding random ones as pairs stood on each mat. Lena partnered with Bella, leaving Vay to partner with–
"I'm Octavia. We should spar." A girl with the air of arrogance approached Vay.
Vay looked at Papa, eyes sparkling.
She wouldn't mind sparring with the older girl– maybe she would finally be a challenge.
Papa looked at the girl, then at Vay, who gave him puppy dog eyes.
He sighed.
"That won't be possible, Octavia." Papa replied, making Vay wilt. "Vay would kill you."
"Is she really that much better, Mr. Winter?" She questioned confidently.
Papa blinked a few times, as if he didn't expect her to say something like that. As if he didn't expect her to question him. Of course she was that much better.
Vay looked back at her Papa, her eyes still round with hope. She hadn't fought someone around her age because they were all weak but now maybe she finally could. She tugged her Papa's hand. He looked down at her again, but this time she could tell he was hesitating.
She tugged his hand again.
"Okay." Papa suddenly sounded very content with the idea of her sparring with Octavia. "But, Octavia, this fight will be to the death. Are you prepared?"
Octavia looked at Vay, then Papa.
"Yes, Mr. Winter." She replied, sounding even more confident.
Papa turned towards the girls who were waiting for the order to start sparring.
"All of you, come here. Sit in front of this mat. You will watch Vay and Octavia spar to the death." He stated. "I expect all of you to pay close attention to who wins and why. Understood?"
"Yes, Mr. Winter." A chorus of replies echoed as the girls immediately left their mats.
They traveled to the mat closest to Papa and Vay. Papa turned to look at Vay who was practically unable to contain her excitement. Papa crouched in front of her, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear. She folded her wings carefully behind her.
To the girls, it almost seemed like Papa was worried for her.
But that wasn't it at all.
"Don't use your wings or your voice. Just your fists." He instructed gently. "That way, it will be fair."
"Okay, Papa." She replied happily.
Papa straightened, patting her head.
She turned, walking over to the mat.
Octavia followed suit, standing across from her.
They remained a good distance away from each other before Papa let loose a loud whistle.
Vay grinned.
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Vay moved quickly, fast as she traveled across the mat. She was intelligent though, and didn't dare try to attack first. She would allow Octavia to do that, and Octavia's jealousy would force her to move in such a way.
Winter could tell the girls did not understand why Vay was treated differently, but they weren't meant to show their emotions. Octavia was weak to show her emotions and deserved to be removed from the other widows. Besides, he could use this as an opportunity to teach the older girls that Vay was stronger than them and that, if anything, he would protect Vay and kill any girl who dared to hurt her.
Vay was meant to be protected– at all costs.
But Vay could protect herself too, and he was aware.
Winter crossed his arms over his chest as he watched stoically.
Octavia, sloppy, darted forwards and jabbed at her.
Vay grabbed her fist and shoved her back. It was a warning– no, no it wasn't a warning. Winter could tell when someone played with their prey and Vay was playing. To her, this was simply playing– this was fun to her. She was smiling as they fought, which only made Octavia more susceptible to feeling and listening to her anger.
Octavia lunged forwards.
She jabbed forwards, but this time was prepared for Vay to grab it. She did, predictable, but, for a reason. Octavia threw a roundhouse kick to her side but Vay was quicker. She released her fist and shoved her palm against Octavia's stomach– or tried. Octavia blocked it with her other arm and the kick landed against Vay's side.
Vay flashed her teeth in a predatory grin as her hand suddenly switched directions, body turning slightly to grab ahold of the girls ankle. Octavia threw a punch at Vay who then spun with her foot still in her hand. Octavia jumped, using the momentum to spin in the air along with Vay to stop her from breaking her foot.
Vay let go of her as the pair hit the mat with a thud.
The pair jumped to their feet instantly, before lunging at each other once again. Octavia threw three punches before Vay caught onto her pattern and punched at the same time as her. Their arms locked together and Octavia instantly started punching her stomach.
But Vay was simply stronger.
She caught her fist by her wrist and applied pressure. She started to apply too much and Octavia started trying to rip her hand out of her hold. Vay then released the pressure only slightly, confusing her. Then, without warning, Vay snapped her wrist.
Octavia yelped in pain and Vay released her, shoving her back.
Vay took a few steps back, allowing Octavia a moment to recover.
Winter sighed.
At this rate, they would be fighting for far too long. Vay could have ended it right then and there, but she was playing too much. He did suppose, however, that Vay hadn't played in a long time. He guessed it was okay for her to play a little while longer. Besides, the older girls and the younger girls were learning by watching.
Octavia darted at her again, this time with more anger and more ferocity.
Vay ducked, easily maneuvering around her. When Octavia did hit her, however, Vay didn't react at all. She didn't make a noise as Octavia locked her leg around hers, tripping her to the ground. Vay hit the ground hard, before wrapping her own legs around Octavia's ankles, twisting. Octavia dropped to the floor, losing balance.
Vay quickly released her, now that they were both on the floor.
Octavia, however, had the advantage as she was taller and closer to being on top of her. She rolled, pressing her knee into Vay's stomach while gripping one of her arms. In retaliation to her own broken wrist, Octavia grabbed Vay's and snapped it with effort.
Winter nearly snapped at the sight.
But he knew Vay was stronger.
Vay didn't even blink at the broken bone, which momentarily disoriented Octavia.
"That was mean." Vay pouted, before suddenly slamming her head into Octavia's.
Octavia winced, shaking her head to stop the world from spinning.
But that was enough.
Vay slammed her palm into her throat and Octavia choked as Vay shoved her with her hand, which was now in pain because it was, well, broken. She slammed her hand into the bridge of Octavia's nose and blood streamed down her skin and into her mouth.
Octavia started to kick at her on the ground, but it was a futile attempt as Vay lunged at her. She slammed her foot into Octavia's arm and she screamed as her other wrist snapped.
Vay jumped off of her after, looking down at her as she waited patiently for her to stand back up. Her lips pursed when Octavia struggled to do so, trying her best to pull herself back to her feet, but struggling to do so with her broken hands.
Had they never trained with broken bones?
Vay tilted her head.
Winter could see Vay was confused.
His eyes wandered to Octavia and knew the older girl was going to struggle to fight.
"She doesn't know how to play like that, Vay." Winter spoke. "That's enough playing now."
Vay inclined her head in understanding.
Octavia used the moment of distraction to lunge to her feet and tackle Vay into the ground. They both slammed into the mat. But all Vay had to do was grab her arm and break another bone. She screamed and tried to swing with her other arm. Vay caught it then wrapped a hand around her throat.
She put as much power as possible beneath her hand and she gripped tightly to the center of her throat, before tearing it open. Blood poured and Vay shoved Octavia away quickly to stop the blood from covering her face. The mat was getting quickly stained and Vay could feel Octavia's light start to fade.
Low three quick tones suddenly echoed and Vay lunged onto Octavia, placing a hand on her forehead and eating the light.
Vay stood from the mat and Winter thought she didn't need any more conditioning.
She was perfect.
And she lacked the flaws he had.
His heart swelled with pride.
She would be a better asset than he could ever be.
That's not right.
Vay smiled, even though blood was splattered over her face.
Winter turned his eyes to the older girls.
"Is there anyone else who has the need to challenge Vay?" He asked.
His question was met with silence.
Winter nodded his head knowling.
"Good. Get into partners and spar. Natalia, you'll be sparring with Vay. Go."
Vay climbed off of the mat, padding over to him. Winter gently patted her head.
"You did very good." He praised. "You can tell the blood to go away."
"M'kay!" Vay replied brightly.
Natalia was standing to the side of them, near them but not too close. The other girls were getting prepared to spar with each other while Natalia only stood there, waiting. She watched observantly as the blood on Vay suddenly disappeared the moment she started humming an odd tune.
Winter made sure the blood on the mat disappeared too while Vay sang.
Then Vay turned to Natalia.
"Are you better at playing?" She asked.
Natalia stared at her.
Her lips twitched upward.
"Yes."
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