The stranger snapped their fingers as jazz-like piano music began to play and an ensemble of characters appeared in the fog, but their faces were obscured.
"Ooh," they sang. "Ooh."
"If your life is a bore, and it leaves you wanting more," Blue sang, walking towards them, "leave your fancy degrees and your job and your cheese, it's time to change your point of view. Schmiga-dee-do."
They turned to the crowd behind them. "There's a world to explore, with a thrill behind each door." They turned back as they continued, "We've got song, we've got dance, lots of sex, no romance, and we've got it all and just for you."
"Welcome to Schmicago!" They sang. "Our fantastical farrago! Mystery and magic, endings that are tragic. Welcome to... Schmicago." They walked towards the crowd again, disappearing into the fog. "Schmicago."
"Dreams of fame on the stage," a shadow sang.
"And revenge that's fueled by rage," another added.
A group of women then sang, "Women brimming with lust."
Another shadow joined in with, "Men you shouldn't trust."
"And orphans that don't want to die," a group of children from the fog sang.
"Schmiga-dee-yi," Blue sang, before their shadow disappeared from the fog.
Another group began singing, "Quest for the meaning in life."
"And an end to all this strife," a familiar voice sang with a thick brooklyn accent.
"Systems running on greed," a new female voice sang.
"And good guys who succeed," a deep voice sang, cutting through the fog.
"And someone's gonna fry," Blue sang, appearing behind the group and showing their attention to a man in an electric chair.
"Welcome to Schmicago," the ensemble sang, "our fantastical farrago. Mystery and magic, endings that are tragic, welcome to... welcome to... welcome to... Schmicago!"
The ensemble in the fog continued to sing as their voices and shadows faded.
The four of them looked at one another in confusion.
"What's-a going on here?" Mario asked, grabbing SMG4's arms and pulling on it.
"Did... did Schmigadoon change?" 3 asked. "Was... what if Mildred was right about us and this was once Schmigadoon, but it changed to Schmicago after we left and-"
"I doubt it," 4 said. "That bunny person wasn't there before."
"You're right! I wasn't."
The group all screamed, turning to look at the person as they smiled at them.
"Howdy!" They looked between the four of them. "I'd best introduce you all to this place properly before you four end up dead. Follow me!"
"Can't we just leave?" Mr. Puzzles asked, looking towards the fog.
The rabbit person stopped in their tracks. "Go ahead and try." They said, smirking back at him.
Puzzles huffed, already done with their stuck up attempt to be scary or intimidating. They were a rabbit! How scary can those things even be?
He turned dramatically on his heel and walked through the fog, only to reemerge, opening his eyes in shock.
"Change your mind~?" They asked in a teasing tone.
The other three only watched, already knowing exactly what was happening.
"Mario can exit no problem!" Mario said, smiling. "Mario already knows his true love is spaghetti!"
The rabbit person turned to look at him with a deadpanned look on their face. "Try it. See what happens, spaghetti boi."
"Oh boy..." SMG4 sighed. He had a feeling this would happen... but hey, he might be able to get out eventually, right? Even then, SMG4 and SMG3 would stay anyway, despite being able to escape. They had to protect Mario from dying after all.
SMG3 watched Mario walk into the fog as Mr. Puzzles questioned everything that was happening. "Are we just... going to stay here and help Mario, or...?"
SMG4 nodded. "Might as well. Unless you want him to get shot but a Farmer McDonough character or something."
The stranger laughed. "Oh right. I forgot you got shot by him."
"Ok," SMG3 huffed as Mario also emerged from the fog in confusion before letting out his iconic scream and flapping his arms in confusion, "and who the hell are you?"
"Blue Strawberry," the stranger said with a smile, grabbing a hold of 3's hand and shaking it. "Some call me B. Stroobery too. Others call me..." They paused, thinking back to other events in their life. "Meh. Not important. Just call me Blue or Stroobery or Stroob. Or Strawberry. Anything goes really."
"Can I call you a pain in my ass?" 3 huffed, pulling his hand away.
"You absolutely may not," they laughed. "Anyway, how about we get you guys some place to stay, huh? Unless you want to be on the streets all night. Mario or Puzzles could get an escort or something."
"How do you know our names?" Mr. Puzzles asked, looking towards them.
They shrugged, pushing up their blue and purple framed glasses. "Simple." They looked up at him as his screen changed to a questioning glance as he expected them to answer.
They didn't, simply turning and walking into town. "Follow me unless you want to sleep in a gutter using a dead body for warmth!"
"This is so not Schmigadoon," 3 huffed.
4 nodded in agreement, following this stranger, hand intertwined with his boyfriend's as they walked.
Mario soon followed behind. "Wait for Mario!"
Mr. Puzzles sighed. If he wanted to survive whatever this is, he'd sadly have to stick close to these buffoons. They clearly knew far more than he did about what was going on here.
They walked through the town, taking in the sights. It was definitely a large city, with a beat up downtown area where most of the homeless people seemed to flock. Trash littered the cracked gravel ground, with rats everywhere. They could have sworn they'd seen one of those rats eating a severed finger... and that they walked past the dead guy it likely belonged to.
"Don't worry," Blue said, smiling back at them. "You won't need to stay in this part of town. I've got a special place lined up here for you!"
They continued, heading into a much brighter part of town with neon signs, a large movie theater, and even a town square. It was far more wellkempt than the downtown area. There were still homeless people in the streets, but they at least had "decency" to sleep in dumpsters in darkened alleyways to be unnoticed. The group came up to a very specific building, that looked a lot like a club..."
SMG4 looked the stranger over, noticing that they actually wore a very similar outfit to the leprechaun who trapped them in Schmigadoon. Well... except for the hat, cane, and color pallet. But it looked to be the same material, if 4 was remembering correctly. "You wouldn't happen to know a leprechaun, would you?" He asked.
Blue looked over at him from the corner of their eye. "Why do you want to know?"
"No particular reason."
Blue nodded, looking forward once more and smirking as they looked inside the glass doors. "After you!" They exclaimed, opening the door and gesturing inside with a dramatic bow. "I have a feeling you two in particular will get a kick out of this."
"Why...?" 3 asked skeptically as they entered, only to realize what they had been talking about as he laid eyes on the receptionist.
"Florence?" 4 asked quietly.
Behind the counter stood a woman who bore a shocking resemblance to one Florence Menlove. She had the exact same face! Except, she had blonde hair, and her usual cheery and calm disposition was replaced with a cold and hardened glare at the papers in front of her before her dark eyes looked up at the guests.
"Ugh," she groaned before continuing in a thick German accent, "why did you bring new people in here? You know we're only 10 minutes to closing!"
Blue shrugged. "Apologies Madam Frau," they said, looking back at SMG3 and SMG4. "But these four need a place to stay, and I know Mr. Kratt would absolutely love to meet them. They're all performers too. Perhaps they could work at the club?"
"Hah!" Madam Frau laughed, shaking her head. "Nien."
"Suit yourself," Blue laughed before walking away. "I'll let you four settle everything else! I did my part!"
3 and 4 shared a look before looking back at this "Madam Frau" character. Her hard glare was set on them as she looked them both over.
"What?"
"Nothing!" SMG4 said loudly. "Um... you... wouldn't happen to have a sister, would you...?"
The woman rolled her eyes. "How many rooms?"
"4," Mr. Puzzles huffed.
"3 actually," 4 corrected.
"What?" Mr. Puzzles looked between the group, confusion etched across his screen. "Who is bunking with whom?"
"4 and I can share a room," 3 sighed, his boyfriend nodding in agreement.
"$300," the woman said.
"What?" Everyone asked loudly.
"We're planning on staying here a few days, if that helps...?" 4 asked quietly.
Mario nodded, smiling.
"Oh!" She nodded, looking at the papers. "So that would be $50."
"Sheesh," 3 huffed. "Things sure got expensive around here..."
"You've been here before?" Mr. Puzzles inquired, leaning his head in between the two of them.
3 and 4 looked towards him. "Not... exactly..." 4 said, pushing his head back. "Back off."
Madam Frau handed them their keys and waved them along.
Everyone shared a glance before heading to their respective rooms to figure out what was going on. Although, they were all surprised to see outfits already lying on the beds...
SMG3 huffed, slamming the door shut behind them. "For fuck's sake..."
SMG4 looked over the outfit that had been picked out for him: a white button up shirt, white gloves, brown shows, and grayish-blue suspenders with a matching cap. "Huh... not too bad."
3 looked over at his outfit: a suit similar to his from WOTFI 2023, except with more 1920's flair added to it. "Alright. Not bad at all."
4 flopped back on the bed, yelping in surprise as he was launched upwards a bit before landing softly on the bouncy mattress.
SMG3 laughed a bit before sitting next to 4. "I take it this bed wasn't meant for sleeping."
4 sighed, setting his new outfit aside as he looked around the room. "Honestly... I think I'd prefer Schmigadoon..."
3 nodded.
"This place is... a little dark..."
"We can turn on a light-"
"That's not what I meant," 4 sighed. "I just... it's odd... expecting to find one place here and ending up in another."
3 nodded. "We'll help Mario get out though."
"Right..." SMG4 leaned against 3's shoulder, closing his eyes. "Why did I ever suggest coming back here?"
"Because you're an idiot?"
"Hey!" 4 shouted, laughing as he pushed 3 off the bed.
Mr. Puzzles entered his room, looking around the area. It was rather small. Just a bed, bathroom, and dingy look outside the window. Then again, considering how the price lowered once it was clear they were staying multiple nights, this likely wasn't a place where people... slept...
He decided to put on the new outfit given to him by some mysterious force. It wasn't too bad. A black suit with a bow tie and hat. Nothing he wouldn't normally wear. How was it automatically in his size though...?
He looked towards the window, jumping with a glitched scream as he saw a light brown rabbit staring up at him with dark brown eyes behind blue and purple framed glasses. Its ears and tail were a very familiar shade of blue, with a magenta bow tie around its neck.
"What the fuck...?"
"Hiya."
Another glitched scream escaped his speakers before the door to his room flung open, revealing a young woman with short black hair in a bob cut and wearing a flowing black feathered coat that hung on her shoulders, revealing her rather... revealing black clothing underneath.
"Sorry to interrupt, darling," she said with a smile before she began rummaging through his room. "I have need of something real quick."
"I beg your pardon?" The cyborg scoffed.
Mario poked his head out from the door frame. He also changed. Now instead of his usual dirty overalls, red sweater, and iconic cap he wore a brick red cap with matching suspenders, brown shoes, and a white button up shirt with white gloves. "She did this to Mario too!"
"Jenny Banks, lovely to meet you," the woman said, smiling up at him with pond-blue eyes. "My. What a peculiar face you have. You would fit right in here at this club," she laughed. "Now, if you'll excuse me..." She began patting him down before sticking a hand in his pocket and pulling out a cigarette and lighter. "Ah! Thanks a million, darling. I'll pay you back, I promise!"
She began walking out the door, leaving a very confused Mr. Puzzles behind her.
"Oh!" She exclaimed, smiling towards him. "You and your friends should see me perform at the club tonight! It's bound to be a hoot darling, I promise you!" She then continued on her way.
"What...?" The adware mumbled, pulling his box of cigarettes out of his pockets. "Oi vey..."
"Mario thinks we should go to the show!" Mario exclaimed with a large smile, running after Jenny.
"Does everything always move in a blur with these people?" Mr. Puzzles huffed as he threw the cigarettes out the window in frustration.
The rabbit ducked down out of the way.
"You!"
"Me?"
Storming towards the window sill, Puzzles grabbed the rabbit, hearing it squeak as he lifted it up and started shaking it.
"What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything!" The bunny snapped. "Now put me down motherfucker!"
He dropped the bunny on the bed, watching it bounce in the air.
The rabbit screamed, despite not opening its mouth to talk or make any noise... It then dashed off the bed and sat on the ground. "Gross! I know what happens on those beds! And I know they don't clean them after!"
"Disgusting!" Mr. Puzzles jumped away from the piece of furniture.
As his growing disgust slowed down, he then turned his attention back to the bunny. "Blue, I'm assuming?"
"Bingo!" They said, standing on their hind legs and looking up at him. "What was your first clue?"
The cyborg rolled his eyes and walked out the door.
"Oi! Get back here!" Blue exclaimed, hopping out after him. "I'm just doing my job, man! SMG3 and SMG4 are gonna do something weird in their room! I can feel it! And I had to watch them once for that scene in Schmigadoon! Never again!"
"You what?" The cyborg stopped, looking down at the bunny as they glared up at him.
"Do you know nothing about musicals?" Blue huffed, thumping their back foot in frustration, ears pressed back against their back. "I'm the narrator, dumbass!"
"Narrator?" Puzzles leaned down, picking up the rabbit as they scratched an itch behind their ear. "Like... as in you tell the story?"
They nodded. "This whole world is a musical parody, dumbass," they said. "As was Schmigadoon. Except... this one doesn't get its inspiration from Music Man or fucking... I don't know, Oklahoma? Either way, this one has more... it has different taste, I'll tell you that."
"Pardon?"
"Ever seen Sweeney Todd?"
Mr. Puzzles froze, face displaying an expression of horror.
"You have," Blue laughed. "Those are some of my favorites too. But, I do want to warn you... that's the main inspiration for this world..."
"You have got to be kidding me..." Mr. Puzzles mumbled. He then dropped the rabbit, smiling. "I get it! I was just sucked into my own head again! There we go. Case closed. Problem solved."
Blue laughed, rolling over and looking back up at him. "Uh huh... sure... and who am I? Or anyone else here? Trust me, SMG3 and SMG4 drew a similar conclusion about Schmigadoon at first, but... sad to say, it's ruled out for two reasons."
"And what reasons are those, exactly?"
"One," Blue said, sitting on their hind legs again and holding out a paw as if they were counting on their fingers, "you would be able to have at least some semblance of control if this was inside your head. Two, I know the people in charge of this whole thing and trust me. You ain't one of them, bucko."
Puzzled huffed, rolling his eyes and walking away. "Whatever... how do we even get out of here anyway?"
"Try to escape again and he'll tell you."
"He?"
"The leprechaun."
"The one SMG4 mentioned earlier?"
"Nah. His twin brother."
Mario opened the door to 3 and 4's room, earning a scream from the two of them as he saw them both in the middle of changing clothes. "Oh! Mario is sorry!" He exclaimed, covering his eyes. "But Jenny wanted Mario to let you know that we're invited to watch a show tonight!"
"A show...?" SMG3 asked quietly as they both finished getting dressed.
"Who's Jenny?" 4 chimed in.
"This nice lady who works at the club!" Mario explained.
Mr. Puzzles walked up behind him, rabbit in his arms. "Yes, she invited all 4 of us to watch the show."
"Why, yes I did!"
The woman in question walked in, to which SMG3 and SMG4 were taken aback, staring at her in shock.
"Betsy...?" SMG4 asked quietly.
"What the fuck is going on in this town?" SMG3 whispered, earning a shrug in response.
"The name's Jenny Banks," she said, shaking both of their hands as she took a drag of the cigarette she had stolen from Puzzles a few moments ago. "Head performer downstairs at the club."
The two men nodded, exchanging glances of pure confusion.
"Now, I need to get ready for the show. See you down there!" She said, waving goodbye as she left.
"She seems nice," Mario said, oblivious to the terror in 3 and 4's eyes.
"She is," Blue said, smiling as best they could, despite having a different facial structure now.
"What the hell even are you?" 3 huffed.
"Uh... no idea anymore," Blue admitted. "Used to be called a Sonic Universian, but I don't fit that criteria anymore due to being able to actually turn into an animal and all that..."
"That... was the worst answer I have ever heard," 3 huffed.
SMG4 snatched the rabbit by the fur on the back of their neck and held them up. "Want to explain what's going on?"
"Schmicago."
"Not helpful."
They rolled their eyes. "It'll make sense later. I'm only allowed to explain stuff to the readers so they aren't confused."
4 dropped them as they landed on the ground.
"You guys gonna go to the show?" They asked excitedly.
"Sure," 4 huffed. "Why not? We're already stuck here. What's the worst that could happen?"
As the group walked down the stairs to get to the club, Blue smirked.
"Oh, you have no idea what you just signed up for SMG4..." they laughed before hopping along behind them.
The club overall wasn't too bad. Strange though. Seems that the music here was meant to actually be more as a background to everything instead of exposition like it had been in Schmigadoon.
SMG4 sighed, leaning against the table. "Well... this is... odd..."
Mr. Puzzles looked around as everyone else in the club stared at him. "There's a talking rabbit, and yet I'm the weird one?"
"I'm the club owner's pet rabbit," they said, hunkering down on the table and watching Jenny perform a song called Kaput on stage. "Makes life a little easier."
"Does he know you can turn into a human-like thing?" 3 asked.
They shook their head. "Nope. Just that I can talk."
Mr. Puzzles watched the people perform on stage. They had literally sung an entire song about how they're attempting to shock the people in the audience. Listing things such as having a tattoo, a man in a dress, one of the girls being a bisexual, another experiencing a... in her words, a "female orgasm." Lovely...
But then Jenny began performing on stage. He had to say, he was actually jealous of her abilities. Dancing and singing up there life in front of a large audience, props included in her act. She was an extremely talented woman.
But, all good things must come to an end.
Mario looked up at Mr. Puzzles in confusion. "Why are you hanging out with us?"
Puzzles looked at him. "This is all simply to get out of here alive," he hissed. "Don't think I would ever enjoy being around you lot."
Mario huffed, crossing his arms and looking back at Jenny. "Mario still doesn't forgive you for stealing his mustache."
"Oh no," he said sarcastically, "whatever will I do?"
The two went silent again, watching the girl perform on stage.
"So... what do we do to get Mario out of here?" SMG3 whispered to 4, leaning in closer to him.
4 shrugged. "No idea... Mario would need true love, assuming that's how he gets out of this place anyway."
As time went on and the acts ended, the club began to empty out.
"Might I walk you back to your room, sir?" SMG3 asked, standing up and holding his arm out to 4.
SMG4 laughed, nodding and taking it. "Why yes, you may."
Puzzles gagged as Mario awed at the two.
"We'll see you tomorrow, Mario," SMG4 said, waving at him as the two of them left.
"And what about me?" Puzzles hissed.
"Nobody in this group cares about you," Blue said, hopping off to follow 3 and 4.
"Oh, fuck you too," Puzzles hissed, earning a laugh from Mario. "Hey!"
"Mario just thinks that you're-a funny when you're-a angry."
"Shut up, you fat pig!"
"Well, you're a twig!"
"You little-"
The two continued to go back and forth in their argument, unaware of what was happening with the two meme guardians.
"It's strange," SMG4 said, "seeing Betsy again, but... she's not Betsy."
"Would you rather be engaged to Jenny?" 3 joked, getting elbowed in the side as he laughed.
"No," 4 said with a smile. "Only you..."
3 looked away, face going red. "Shut up... Baka..."
4's smile only grew as he tightened his grip around 3's hand.
Except, their moment was cut short when a blood curdling scream rang throughout the halls.
"What was that?" SMG4 asked.
"Let's fine out," 3 whispered, running in the direction of the scream. SMG4 wasn't too far behind him.
They saw a dark figure run down the hall and down a corner.
The two were about to head after him when they heard gurgling from inside one of the dressing rooms.
Slowly, SMG3 opened the door, both their eyes going wide in horror as they saw one of the performers with a knife stuck in her neck.
"Shit!" SMG3 shouted, rushing towards the woman and applying pressure to the wound. "4! Call someone!"
SMG4 nodded, attempting to find help down the hall as 3 futilely attempted to stop the bleeding.
The woman looked up at him, blood soaked hand clawing at his new suit. "Do... lee..." she managed out.
"What?" 3 asked quietly.
"Do..." The woman couldn't manage anything else out as she fell unconscious.
Another scream rang through the room. 3 froze, slowly looking up at one of the other performers, who was pointing at him.
"Wait!" 3 said, voice shaking, "it isn't what it looks like-"
"He murdered Elsie!" The performer screamed, running away.
SMG3 looked down at the now dead body on the floor, looking back down at his own blood soaked gloved and suit. "This... isn't a good look for me..." He looked around the room before running out.
"SMG3?" 4 asked, watching him run away, quickly following behind him. "What happened?"
"They think I killed her!" 3 shouted. They ran to the main area, earning looks from the few remaining guests. "Let's grab Mario and get out of here!"
"But he can't-"
"Not out of town!" 3 snapped. "Just... out of here!"
4 nodded, rushing towards Mario and grabbing his write without another word as he followed SMG3 out.
"What the hell are they doing?" Puzzles asked himself, following close behind them.
The four of them ran out of the building, making their way through the city. Maybe there was a place they could hide out in like the woods in Schmigadoon?
Except, there wasn't any place like that. No matter where they went on the outskirts of the city, they kept returning to that damned foggy bridge.
"What's-a going on?" Mario asked, pulling his arm away from 4's grasp.
"And why is SMG3 covered in blood...?" Mr. Puzzles stared at the purple meme guardian in fear. Blue mentioned that this whole ordeal was inspired by Sweeney Todd... could... they become victims of this serial killer here if they aren't careful?
"They think I killed this girl!" 3 shouted. They could hear police sirens in the distance, seeing some lights peeking through the thick fog. "I didn't! She was stabbed in the neck when we got there! And... and now they think I did! I was just trying to save her!"
Mario looked at the fog before sternly beginning to push the two meme guardians towards it. "Go!" he shouted. "Now! Mario will be fine here alone! Mario doesn't want SMG3 to get arrested for murder he didn't do!"
"But-" the two meme guardians tried to protest.
"Just go!" Mario snapped.
The two got the hint. They looked at one another, nodding and holding hands before walking into the fog.
Mario sighed. He might be stuck here with Mr. Puzzles now, but... at least SMG3 and SMG4 were safe... right?
Wrong.
"What the hell?" 3 asked worriedly, looking around at the city of Schmicago still surrounding them both.
"Why didn't that work this time?" 4 asked, grip on 3's hand tightening. "What did we do wrong now?"
A familiar laugh was heard behind them.
All four paused, looking down to see a leprechaun with curly head hair tied behind his head, a green bowler cap, a dark green suit with gold embroidery, and a pointy orange beard. He held a purple cane behind him with a gold three-leaf clover on top.
"Schmicago welcomes your return-" the leprechaun began to sing before SMG3 kicked him in the face.
"What the fuck do you want from us this time you little shit?" 3 snapped, grabbing him by his suit jacket and lifting him up.
"Ye'll need more than just true love to get out of Schmicago," the leprechaun said. His voice shook ever so slightly with fear as he looked at SMG3. "They need it," he pointed towards Mario and Mr. Puzzles, "but you two," he pointed back to 3 and 4, "have a new requirement to get out again."
"What?" the meme guardians asked loudly.
"Find a happy end," the leprechaun laughed. "Find a happy ending, and you'll be let out. Although, all of ye need to complete your tasks for all 4 of you to get out."
"We're going to be stuck here forever..." SMG3 said as he put the leprechaun down. "All 4 of us...?"
Mr. Puzzles looked down at the leprechaun in confusion. "So... if Mario and I can find our true love here in this... shit stain of a city, and if those two can find a happy ending, we'll get out?"
"Or ye could die," the leprechaun said with a laugh. "Good luck!"
He then disappeared into a cloud of purple smoke.
"Oh no..." SMG3 said, looking behind him as police officers came towards him.
"SMG3!" 4 shouted, attempting to reach for the other, only to be held back by his best friend. "Mario! Let me go!"
"Mario can't let you get hurt too!" the red Italian exclaimed.
"Sir," Captain Rivera said, "you're under arrest for the murder of Elsie Vale."
"But I didn't do it!" 3 snapped.
"Then why did you run?" Another cop asked.
SMG3 went silent. They, sadly, made a fair point. But, the good news is... he can prove his innocence in court... right...?
"We'll find a way to get you out!" SMG4 shouted. "I promise!"
SMG3 smiled and nodded as he was thrown into the back of a carriage which hauled him towards the jail cells. They cleaned him up, took fingerprints and mugshots, and put him in one of those stupid stereotypical jail uniforms. The ones with the black and white stripes...
Breathing a heavy sigh, 3 pressed his forehead against the prison bars. This was definitely not going to be anything like they'd expected.
But then a voice piped in from behind him, "Hey there roomie!"
He knew that voice. It was one he'd grown rather familiar with in Schmigadoon, one that he'd wished he'd never hear again...
"...Danny...?"