I would like to stay and make it all okay
But it's just too soon and it's not me or you
Tell me if it's strange, and I'm maybe deranged
-Matilda Mann
♡
Zeya's pov
The sizzling oil in the pan heats up, waiting for me to put the egg on it. I crack the egg, but the shell shatters in pieces on the yolk.
A mess.
I use the spoon kept beside to pick out the pieces of the shell. Frustration right in the morning isn't a good emotion to be felt.
I fry it till it's tough, I wouldn't say I like a runny yolk. Then pour my coffee in my cup. Balancing both I get to the table.
My tortilla wrap sits on the plate, a mediocre breakfast that might look unappetising to some.
Mum shuffles in the dining, shock on her face to see me so early with food right infront of me.
"It's a surprise to see you having a proper breakfast for once. The tortilla looks okay enough. Give me a bite."
So I give her a taste of it, she chews for some time then swallows it. Her face an unreadable portrait, eyes half closed, analysing each granule of the tortilla.
"Its quite good, make one for me when you get the time. I would love to have something made by my daughter."
Mum cracks a smile at me, the wrinkles around her eyes reminding me of her aging. Her warm brown ones mirroring mine, same as hers.
She moves onto the fridge pulling out a box of something and moving from here to there, getting ready for her daily chores.
I've never been good at cooking, or any kind of household chores. Another minus point of mine. I turn my head towards the staircase leading upstairs.
There is my room, a safe den for hiding away from the world. When the reality wants to chew me out, I run and hide there. A shielded comfort zone.
But I can't do that, especially today.
Today is the dreadful Wednesday, for which I had bled for over over a week. Ran for hours to only feel insufficient. But I'm no trackstar, I've to remind myself constantly.
The realisation is the spark that makes the nerves in me fill with nausea. The tortilla that I have on my plate, remains half eaten. The sight of it now makes my stomach churn.
Still I force myself. I have a long day ahead. Pushing the food in my mouth, I gulp the coffee to wash it down in a force.
The events don't start till nine, but our arrival is at half past seven. As another school will also be participating today, we have to be on our best behaviour.
I am starting to sweat from now just by thinking about people seeing me run and make a dumb out of myself.
I take my bike out, sailing through the rustling trees on the pavements, the sky above me, a crystal clear blue. The weather is in favour of today's occasion.
But my mood is that of a sour rotten lemon.
Mum will visit the school along with Aunt Eleanor. Evara and her team-mates have a different timing for arrival.
I get to the huge iron gates of my school. The board above the arching gate revealing the name, Brighton Medley Highschool in black, bold letters.
My thoughts are brought to a halt. I get off the bike after I park it.
The massive playground beside the cemented road leading towards the main entrance of the building has already been prepared for today. Few students can be seen scattered on the field.
I meet Rin as I enter, a tenth grader who is really good at running. She looks at me and smiles with her braced teeth. Both of her bright auburn pony tails bobbing when she tilts her head.
"Good morning! The weather is really great for having the sports meet today. We're lucky enough." She says, as we walk towards the assembly hall.
"Yeah, a bit too bright." I agree with her.
The hall was already flooded with various participants, each of them in their uniform.
The first will be the speech from our Head mistress, ensuing the day ahead.
I see Ster in the front of the podium where the speaker stands. She is dressed in the PE uniform, holding a Starbuck's cup.
A soft tap on her shoulder makes her flinch, startled, she turns around. Her eyes look droopey, lack of sleep has caused us both grief.
"You have a great way of announcing your entrance, when you are late by ten minutes." She rolls her eyes showing her disagreement.
Her painted nails clutch my arm as if she's unable to stand. Digging deep into my flesh, her sharp claws are a lethal weapon.
"I'm so nervous that I might've to see my breakfast again which was only a glass of water." Ster whispers.
I'm in no condition to soothe her, being in the same drowning boat as hers. If I showed my wroughtness now, we both might start crying in this hall filled with students.
A deep sigh escapes my chapped lips.
"Ster, we both have been practising more like bulldozing ourselves so that we can atleast run and not kiss the ground the second we start off. And you particularly, have to show Sheryl that you are capable of something like this."
I shake her by her shoulders in a way to transfer a smidgen of enthusiasm from my speech.
She shakes her head, agreeing with me.
Then we both laugh like crazy maniacs who look like they have successfully escaped from asylum.
"It doesnt matter if we lose or win, just gotta stick to it until it ends."
The flicker of spark has returned back in her eyes. She's good to go and run for herself.
Shortly after that Sheryl enters and gathers our team for a last strategy discussion. Time was flying fast, accelerating my already rapid heart rate.
I can feel my throat perched up and the taste of acidity with saliva makes me more nauseous.
Sheryl starts explaining about our positions and finally says to give our best.
The relay race has six teams participating, three from our school and other three from another school. Each team has five members.
They made me the last runner, which had been discussed way before. Ster is the one to start the run passing the baton to Rin and her to Becky, Becky to Mindy and finally to me.
The othe two teams have member from track and field club and our team is the only one with two amateurs. We are already at the loosing end.
And who knows what kind of runners the invited school is going to bring in.
I gulp down a mouthful of water while sweating even before the start of the race.
-------------------------------------------------------------
The sun is glowing in all its glory, right above my head. There's a pleasant breeze wafting down the empty classrooms. Cool but dry.
All the students are huddled around the ground like a buzzing mass of "woos" and "aaas". Cheering for their school.
Tug of war has created more rage within the audience. And finally with a last tug from the team blue, all the boys on the other side fall flat on their faces.
"Another easy win for the Marshall Blight High." Screeches the displeased voice of a third year, announcing through the microphone.
Our school hasn't been able to get first at a single game. A real shame.
The last game before lunch is the relay race. Mum and Aunt are within all the parents and teachers sitting under the shades. Waving at times, trying to cheer for the kids but chicken out when they see how rowdy the youngsters are.
When I first introduced Evara to Aster, their first thing to say to each other was, "I love your hair." And they said it in sync.
Both of them giddy and surprised. They get along well than what I had thought.
There was no awkwardness among them. And for some reason they ended up bonding over the fact that I should speak my mind rather than chewing my lips.
Then they shaked their hands like comrades.
I don't get them at times like this.
Evara is sitting with her class mates under a tent, waving her hand sprightly whenever she sees me. I wave back at her.
Ster and me were given the work to distribute water bottles to all the tired people. We hand them a towel and a bottle of water.
We have ten minutes left before the game starts. Finishing the task we head towards the starting point, where all the other teams are standing, preparing for the race.
One thing that stands out the most about Marshall High is that their athletes are way too polished for highschool level.
But they were already popular for producing athletes in huge numbers every year.
I keep praying to not loose it all.
Donovan stood with a paper and a pen, a towel hanging around his neck, he looked tired and nervous. Waiting for us. He also has a volleyball match in the evening.
The six teams of relay race take their positions. I'm the one at the last, far away waiting for them to catch upto everyone around them to reach me.
My head's throbbing as if it's hit with a shovel. I hear the starter's pistol go off. The race has started. I can see Ster sprinting towards Rin.
The other two teams are a bit behind Ster but the opponent school is way ahead.
The six teams are represented by the colours red, green, blue, yellow, white and purple.
Red, green and blue are the teams of Marshall High and the rest three from ours. Our team is white. All the five members have a white long ribbon wrapped around their arm or wrist.
I see Rin flashing past the others as we are way behind. And I have the crucial part of the race.
Soon Becky takes the baton and is flying away trying to close the wearisome distance between other teams.
She overtakes two of them creating a astonished roar among the crowd. Then hands out the baton to the already dashing Mindy.
I take my stance. Team red and blue has already taken off from their last position. Mindy is darting through the field, I start my run when I see her near.
I have to get a head start. The baton is now in my hand. So I run.
I can sense the air on my face like a snapping whip. The howling of the audience and students seem to have died down. Only a buzzing fills my ear.
My heart beat and the way my breathing is getting faster. The palms of my hands are sweaty, still I clutch onto the baton and I run.
I know I'm not going to win but I need to reach that end point. There's a stinging pain under my ribcage that hurts. But I need to complete what I've started.
I push myself, trying to gain more speed. I can see the end line, a red ribbon stretched waiting for us to tear through it. And I know I can never be the first one to reach.
I hate the truth.
My feets are burning, and when I do reach the ending point, there are three people ahead of me. I'm the fourth one.
Well atleast I'm not the last one.
I see Rin running to me behind her Mindy, Ster and Becky.
"Heyyyy, we didn't end up last. That's more than what we had thought we could do." Exclaims Becky.
"But we were really close. We couldv'e snatched the third place." Mindy spits the bitter truth that I've been thinking.
Ster looks crest-fallen.
"We did what we couldv'e done. One of the team's from our school came second so it's better than what we can think of." Rin tries to calm us down.
I seem to have lost my voice. My throat stings as I swallow.
The first three teams are being rewarded. The rest of us are given a bottle of water and a towel. Donovan runs upto us.
"You all did really good. Especially Ster and Zeya. I'm impressed at how much you have trained in a week to reach this level. The other three were already in a sports club so they had the stamina in them. Don't sweat it." He seems relaxed.
He looks at me, "Zeya, I think you should sign up for the track and fields. You are a good runner, we couldv'e bagged the third place. But you did well."
I look at him not having the energy to respond.
We settle down after each of them goes to freshen up.
Ster is still talking with Sheryl. So I move away from there. I don't have it in me to go face Eva or mum.
Guess it really was a waste of time. How dad had described.
I peel the shoes off my feet. The socks are dripping with sweat. Disgusting! But what can I do, it's my sweat so I gotta deal with it.
I walk towards the building naked feet. The back of the school is mostly walls with high fences, swirling with creeper plants like a mystery garden from a fantasy novel.
The pebbles on the grass prick my feet but it's better than constantly hearing that I could've made it to the third place.
I know it myself that I could've made it, but I'm incompetent.
I stumble into a stone which was hiding among the grass. And fall down, my knees are bruised.
I can't keep it in anymore. So I break down. The tears gush out smashing the barriers of my mind.
There's no one to witness my vulnerability, so that makes it a bit better.
Is what I had thought.
A cold voice rattles my heart. The well too known voice. From which I always run away.
"I thought you were better than this. But here you are bawling your eyes out."
I twist my head to see an impassive set of eyes. He's standing by the chestnut tree in a pair of washed jeans and a simple black tee-shirt.
One of his brow raised up, mocking me of my pathetic condition. I snap away.
My black shorts are soiled with dirt. I try to get up but my leg has some other plans. My left knee is cut deep due to getting it smashed to a rock that was laying around.
I stagger, as I walk. Rather than arguing with him I do what I had thought of doing.
"Is it too hard for you to ask for help?"
I hear Ezra speak.
I carry on my dawdle, not giving him any attention.
He walks behind me. What is he doing here on a random Wednesday?
I don't have the patience to play the tug of sarcasm with him.
"Look, I didn't ask for your help and there's no need for you to be here. So leave me alone." I bite back.
As I get in the building, I lose my balance as I'm in a hurry to get away.
Miraculously, he holds me by my arm. One of his hand on my back and the other one holding me from falling.
My face is red from flush. I catch a glimpse of him staring at me.
What he does next blows my mind. He picks me up like I'm a sack of potato then cradles me like a baby.
I'm holding my shoes in one hand, so I use the other one to hold his neck. Afraid, he might plop me down on my ass.
"Why are you doing this? I can clearly walk. Put me down this instant!"
My shrieking stops him in his tracks.
"If you shout again, I'll drop you. And you are heavy enough for me to carry, so keep quiet and tell me where the infirmary is."
Being self aware is a gift, which I have it in me. But there wasn't any need for him to shove the fact of me being a 'fatso' at this moment.
I shrink into a little ball. Not knowing what to do.
I am heavy and I know it. I'm not that thin neither am I smart. But I haven't done anything to him to be treated like this.
The watch on his wrist shines with the reflection of light coming through the windows in the corridors.
I tell him to go right and there in the left corner there's the big door with the sign of the"INFIRMARY".
Heyy everybody, it's Author here😆
It's been awhile that I had posted but here's it finally. I don't know why I'm making Ezra an unsolvable mystery but I hope Zeya is good at cracking them, cuz she's gonna need some luck on her side. At first I thought of writing Ezra's pov but I think we've gotta built some of his character development till then.