For the last few months, I've felt lost, like I'm not really myself anymore.
Something's missing inside me, like a part of my heart has gone cold.
Every night, I find myself standing by the balcony, looking into the dark, thinking about her.
Sometimes, late at night, I see her studying in her room, her window open just a little. I can't help but watch her from afar.
It's like admiring the moon-something distant, beautiful, and untouchable. But unlike the moon, she is my Ruh, and now all I do is wonder what happened between us.
The 11 final exams came and went, and it was easy to avoid her during those two months of preparation.
But when she went to Mumbai for two months, it was different. I couldn't stop thinking about her.
The absence of her presence, her voice, it made everything feel so empty.
I couldn't even bring myself to ask her about our annual day-the day I have to confessed my feelings but stopped short. I wasn't able to ask her about her and Varun. Maybe I was afraid of what she might say, maybe I was scared of the truth.
I just want to pretend that it never had happened but sometimes, I can't myself think that there is something between Ruh and Varun. I know her, I can read her eyes.
What if the truth isn't what I think it is? What if everything I've believed about us was wrong?
•••••
I stand at the balcony again, the cool breeze brushing against my face. It's almost midnight. As usual, I glance toward her window, and to my surprise, it's open. I watch her as she sits there, her back to the window, looking down at something in her hands.
She looks so.....far away, so distant. Then, suddenly, I see her shoulders shake. She's crying.
My heart clenches. Why is she crying? Is it something I did? Could it be because of me? The thought lingers, and I feel helpless. I remember her face when I called her by her name. I really cursed myself for hurting her.
But she wipes her tears quickly and turns off the light. I don't know why, but I feel a strange pain in my chest. Before I can think any further, she closes the window.
I quickly hid behind the door, holding my breath, waiting for her to finish.
When I hear the soft click of her window closing, I let out a sigh of relief.
•••••
I go back to my room, but just as I'm about to lie down, I hear voices. A murmuring sound. I frown. The voices grow louder, and then I hear my family talking.
I open the door, and to my surprise, I find everyone gathered in my room. They all look at me with big smiles.
"What happened, guys?" I ask, confused.
"Oh ho, Yuvraj Ji, you don't even know how to hold this," my mom says, taking something from my hand.
They waited for a few seconds and then I saw the candles lit up as suddenly, everyone yelled in unison, "Happy Birthday, Vihu!"
My birthday?
Looks like I have forgotten? The realization hits me like a wave. I had been so caught up in my thoughts and confusion about her that I didn't even remember today was my day. But there is no excitement in me.
I quickly compose myself, forcing a smile,"Thank you, everyone"
My mom, dad, and Prisha Di are all excited, and Yash and Siddharth join the video call to wish me as well.
The excitement is overwhelming. But even amid all this joy, my heart still feels heavy.
I turned on the lights as Prisha di came in with the cake.
"Oh no, I forgot the knife," Mom said, hitting her forehead.
"I'll be right back," she added and went to the kitchen.
"Vihu, listen, your mom worked really hard to make this cake for you. It's good, just a little hard to chew, so even a little piece, just eat it, don't break her heart" Dad said, looking at the cake and then at me, shaking his head.
"Don't worry, Dad, I'll eat it. It looks good, even though it's a bit hard," I said, knowing my mom made it for me, so I would eat it.
"Yeah, let's pray for all of us," Prisha di said, glancing at the cake.
Mom soon came back.
"Vihu, I've been learning to make this cake for you since last month. Taste it and I hope it's as good as it looks," she said nervously.
I cut the cake, and they all wished me.
My family always gets so excited for me and Prisha di's birthdays. That's why I love them so much.
I took a bite of the cake, and yes, it was hard to chew. But I smiled and didn't want to hurt her feelings.
"It's good," I said, then gave a small piece to Dad and Prisha di.
They were hesitant at first but eventually ate it.
I looked at Mom, wondering if I should make her try it.
"Vihu," she said, and I made her take a bite.
As soon as she tasted it, she looked at us and said, "It wasn't good."
"I knew it, my cooking skills are as bad as prisha's score in mathematics" she said while keeping the cake piece back at the plate.
"Mumma, ye konsa tareeka hai beizzati krne ka or by the way I passed my maths exam, after a lot of hard work," she whinned as everyone laughed at her.
"That's why I already ordered a cake because I have full confidence in my baking skills," she added in a sarcastic tone.
Mom was never a great cook, while Dad was like a perfect chef.
He loved cooking, so he always made meals for us.
Mom tried, and I can see she's improving in many ways, she started learning for dad so that she can make his favorite dishes for him but eventually dad had to take over the kitchen at last.
I laughed, and we enjoyed the piece of cake.
Honestly, it tasted better than I thought.
Everyone was happy, but my heart was still yearning for that one person.
•••••
I woke up early in the morning just to catch a glimpse of her, but she didn't come. I felt disappointed and went for breakfast. My family was busy planning my birthday party.
"Mom, I told you I don't want a party. We can just have dinner, and that's it," I said, but she gave me an 'I don't care' look.
"Vihu, it's your 18th birthday! You're not excited? Come on, if you don't want a big party, we can have a small dinner party, right?" she said, her eyes sparkling.
"Vihu, we can have a small party. I took the day off to make sure you enjoy your birthday, so after breakfast, get ready. We're going shopping for your birthday and since it's my little brother's day so just touch whatever you like I'll buy for you," Prisha di said, taking a bite of her paratha.
"And then we have a party," mom again said and I sighed.
"I'm not a kid," I said, glaring at them.
They looked at me like I had grown horns.
"Vihu baby, you're still a kid to us," Prisha di teased, and I just mimicked her.
She ruffled my hair, and I said, "Dii, I told you not to ruffle my hair. It's irritating."
She smirked and said, "And I love to irritate my little baby brother."
"Mom!" I whined, but mom shrugged, clearly saying she wasn't going to get involved in our sibling fight.
Soon, Maasi called on a video call and wished me. I thanked her.
She's the youngest in our family, just a little older than Prisha di, which is why we get along so well.
Suddenly, Maasi started coughing.
"You've been coughing for a week now, Sakshi. You should definitely see a doctor," Mom said, clearly worried.
"No way," Maasi yelled.
"I'm not going. It's just a little cough, and they'll just prescribe more medicine like they always do," she said, refusing.
Everyone sighed. She really hates going to the doctor.
"But you should go, Maasi," I said, trying to make her understand.
"No way, Vihu. Honestly, I think doctors are annoying. They're always giving out medicine like it's food."
"I hate doctors," Maasi said.
"And I love Doctor......" Prisha di said dreamily, but quickly stopped when she realized what she said.
She looked at us, and we all stared at her.
"Uh, I mean, they're hardworking, so I respect them," she quickly corrected herself, standing up but tripping over the couch and running away.
"What happened to her?" Mom muttered, and we all shrugged.
My sister was acting weird.
I should definitely start my detective mode to figure out what's going on.
After what felt like an eternity, Mom and Maasi finally ended the call. I let out a sigh of relief.
"Vihu," Mom called me.
"We'll arrange a small dinner party-just your Maasi, your school friends, and Ruhii's family," she said, or rather declared, and went to the kitchen to start preparing.
My mind got stuck on one word- She will be here.
I don't know how I'll face her.
•••••
After the whole day, when Prisha di took me shopping-but ended up shopping for herself.
I came back home to find Yash and Siddharth already there. They wished me a happy birthday, and I thanked them, though my mind was far from the celebration.
Just as I was settling in, my phone rang.
The caller ID showed "Varun."
I hesitated for a moment, then glanced at Yash and Siddharth. They nodded at me to answer it, and I took a deep breath before picking up.
"Happy birthday, Vihaan," I heard Varun's voice, and for some reason, it made me feel both relieved and anxious at the same time.
"Thanks," I said, forcing myself to sound casual, even though my thoughts were racing.
"I'm really sorry for wishing you late," Varun continued. "I've been packing all day since I'm leaving tonight for university. It's been a bit hectic."
"It's alright," I replied, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that something was off. I smiled faintly, trying to hide the unease bubbling up inside me.
"Tell me when you want me to come to see you off," I asked, trying to sound calm.
"You don't need to worry about that, Just enjoy your birthday, okay?", Varun said.
I nodded, though I was far from reassured. "Okay," I said quietly, feeling a sense of unease.
"So, your family will be there to see you off, and...?" I hesitated, afraid of what I might hear, but I needed to know.
"Yeah, along with my family, someone else will be there too," Varun replied, and I felt my heart sink.
I knew exactly who he meant.
She would be there. With him. The way he said it made it sound like it was completely normal, and that's when it hit me-he was probably with her now. They were probably together.
"Okay," I muttered, though the word barely left my mouth. I couldn't bring myself to say anything more.
"Okay, bye, and have a great birthday," Varun said, and I thanked him again before quickly ending the call.
I stood there, feeling a mix of emotions. Happy that he called, but my mind kept drifting back to the same thought-She will be there with him.
A part of me was happy for him.
He deserved to be with someone who made him happy.
But the other part of me is in pain. I hated feeling this way.
Yash and Siddharth noticed my mood shift instantly.
I said, my voice was tight as they nodded, "He's leaving tonight for university."
I still haven't told them about annual day.
•••••
As I got ready for the evening, I didn't really want to. But I had to. My family, especially my friends, were planning everything for me, and I couldn't just skip out.
I was wearing a black shirt and black pants, because Prisha di insisted that black looked good on me.
I would've preferred a white shirt though-it's Ruh's favorite color.
But she wouldn't be here, would she?
I sighed, knowing she was probably with Varun, seeing him off.
I called Tanya and Vani earlier, and dad had gone to pick them up since it was already evening.
I finished my hair and sprayed some perfume, trying to get ready, but my heart wasn't in it.
Suddenly, I heard my room door open.
I looked up to see Prisha holding a case in her hands. She cleared her throat as if she was trying to get my attention, and I raised an eyebrow.
"Here," she said, passing me the case.
"Your birthday gift."
"But ain't you already took me for shopping," I asked.
She narrowed her eyes but still passed me the box.
I opened it and saw a game set inside.
My eyes widened in disbelief. "How did you get this? It's not even launched in India yet!" I asked, amazed.
Prisha di flipped her hair and smiled. "Your sister has a lot of connections," she said with a wink.
I hugged her, feeling a mix of gratitude and emotion.
She hugged me tightly and kissed my forehead, playfully ruffling my hair to irritate me, "I can't believe my little brother has grown so much that your height is almost like a pole now. People are starting to think you're the older one," she teased, pouting as she said the last part.
I chuckled at her playful reaction.
But she keenly looked at me and after what felt like years she cleared her throat.
"What's wrong?" she asked, noticing I wasn't really smiling.
"Nothing, di. Why would something be wrong?" I said, looking away to avoid the conversation.
Prisha di raised an eyebrow. "I've known you since you were born, Vihu. Don't think you can hide things from me." She sat beside me on the bed, concerned in her eyes.
I looked down, trying to avoid her gaze.
"You have a fight with someone," she asked and i shook my head in no.
"Hmm so, It's about someone special," she asked after a pause.
I looked at her in shocked.
"What? Don't overthink it. I've been through the same phase you're going through right now, so I understand," she said.
She looked at me carefully, her eyes softening, "I don't know what's going on, Vihu, but all I can say is this-if you really care about someone, you need to hold on to them. Don't keep your feelings locked inside. Let them out. If you want that person to stay, you need to make it clear."
"And even if you feel like you can't handle everything on your own, remember that your sister will be always here for you," she said softly, pulling me into a tight hug.
"I know sometimes I tease you and call you an irritating brother, but deep down, I'll always be here for you, no matter what. Whenever things get too suffocating, just come to me. You don't have to go through anything alone, because I'll be standing right here, ready to support my little brother."
As she spoke, a single tear slipped from my eye. I didn't even realize it until she gently wiped it away with her dupatta, her touch soft and comforting.
Her words, her presence, made me feel a little less lost, reminding me that I wasn't really alone.
"Just go downstairs. Everyone's waiting for you," she said with a smile.
I sighed, but did as she said. When I went downstairs, I saw Ruhii's family had arrived,
My eyes started to search for that pair of eyes but she didn't come.
Everyone wished me a happy birthday, and I thanked them all. Even Kunal bhai wished me, and for the first time, it wasn't followed by one of his usual glares. But when I looked around for her, I didn't see her anywhere.
I went back up to my room and just sat on the bed, feeling a deep emptiness.
I stared out the balcony window, hoping to see her.
She didn't come.
Did she hate me now?
"Kab tak aise devdas ki tarah betha rahega?" Yash's voice broke through my thoughts, his frustration clear.
He'd been seeing me sulking all day, and I still hadn't told him or Siddharth what was really going on.
"See, just tell us everything," Siddharth added, referring to annual day.
"You can't keep bottling it up. It's only hurting you and everyone else around you."
I sighed deeply, unsure of what to do. I was confused, lost in my own thoughts. My mind felt like it had stopped working.
"I just don't know," I muttered, burying my face in the bed.
Yash and Siddharth exchanged a look before both of them encouraged me.
"Come on, just tell us what's going on. We're here for you," Yash said.
I finally told them everything that happens at annual day.
"Are you sure?" Yash asked, checking if I was certain.
"But don't you think it's weird? Neither Ruhii nor Varun ever mentioned each other," Siddharth said after a long pause.
"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.
"Sometimes, things aren't always what they seem," Siddharth replied.
I tried to go over everything in my head.
Am I missing something?
"But she didn't even come! What do you mean?" I almost choked at my voice.
"What on earth are you talking about? Ruhii was waiting for you downstairs," Yash said, and I stared at him, feeling like the ground had disappeared beneath my feet.
"Did Varun ever mention Ruhii, especially since you two are so close?" Siddharth asked, clearly getting frustrated.
"Of course Sid they were together and he definitely mentioned his childhood love"
"He did say he's been waiting for this moment since childhood....." I trailed off, my frustration growing, but then suddenly something clicked.
"But wait.....he never mentioned Ruh's name," I realized, remembering that conversation.
Yash and Siddharth both looked at me as if I had just grown horns.
"He...he actually never said directly or indirectly Ruh's name", the realisation hitting me heard.
No way.
Did I really misunderstand everything for the past five months?
I immediately called Varun.
"Hii" I said, tapping my foot.
"Are you with your family and your..." I hesitated to asked but I asked, "your family and your girlfriend" I took a deep breath ready to hear the answer.
"Hmm Yes" he said as I could hear the voice of him asking what happened, i quickly muttered, "i'll explain everything."
"You said, Ruh was here," I asked as my heart was beating rapidly.
They both nodded.
I took a breath of relief and a smile palatered on my face.
My Ruh is here.
"Don't tell me you misunderstood all of this," Yash said, narrowing his eyes.
"Maybe... kind of," I said, feeling the realization hit me hard.
"Tujhe phenyl pii kar doob jaana chahiye," Siddharth said angrily.
"Why are you still standing here? Go to Ruhii! She came and was waiting for you, but you-what is wrong with you? Just go!" Yash and Siddharth both said at the same time.
I gathered all my courage and ran downstairs, but I couldn't find her.
I asked Kunal bhai and he told me that she wasn't feeling so she went to her house.
When I went I saw the door was locked.
Where is she, at this time?
I immediately knew where she might be.
I rushed to the old park and looked for her.
Finally, I saw her.
There she was, standing in front of me.
My Ruh.
------------------------------------
Finally Chapter 42...!!!!
So how was the chapter...??
After this chapter Varun to everyone be like - mujhe bekar me gaaliyan padi 🥲
Hmm so Varun already has a girlfriend.
If you have read Varun and Ruhii's scene clearly then you will realise I never write anything which will connect anything romantically between them it was only pure friendship.
About Vihaan he is actually intelligent but dumb in the matter fo love. 🤧
And do you realise how Prisha and Kunal are similar to each other. When they were consoling their siblings. 😭💗
Nevermind next chapter is going to special so I want you to complete a small target.
As I noticed every chapter is about having 780+ Votes and comments about 200+.
Target-
Vote- 780 on both chapters.
Comment- 200 on both chapters (41 & 42)
Because its a double update.
So yeah the next chapter will be updated a little late as I want to give my best and little special for you all.
So just have a little patience with my Cutiepies.
Enjoy Reading ♥️
Stay Tuned for further updates....!!!
Bye Cutiepies....!!!🍁