"For the LAST time," Heather pinched the bridge of her nose, watching her two mates circle each other like territorial cats, "we are NOT having a supernatural pissing contest over who gets to sleep in the garden tree!"
Inuyasha's dog ears twitched aggressively. "I was here FIRST!"
"The highest perch belongs to this Sesshomaru," the elder demon lord announced with the pomposity of a royal decree, "by divine right of being significantly more fabulous."
Heather blinked. Did Sesshomaru just use the word "fabulous"?
"SIT!"
WHAM!
Two perfectly shaped demon-sized craters appeared in her hardwood floor. One pristine, one slightly less elegant - much like the brothers themselves.
"Did you just..." Inuyasha lifted his head, looking at Sesshomaru with unholy glee, "get sat?"
Sesshomaru peeled himself off the floor, his perfect silver hair now sporting what could only be described as a demonic bed-head. His mokomoko looked like it had been through a supernatural tumble dryer.
"This is beneath my dignity," he muttered.
"Welcome to MY world," Inuyasha snickered.
"Would you prefer 'good boy' instead?" Heather asked, batting her eyelashes innocently.
Both brothers' ears twitched. Sesshomaru would later deny having ears at all.
"The mailman looked suspicious," Inuyasha defended earlier's growling incident.
"He was delivering a COUPON BOOK," Heather retorted.
"Through OUR territory," Sesshomaru added, as if this explained international postal law.
Piper walked in, took one look at the demolished floor and two sprawled demon lords, and immediately walked out. "NOPE. Not today, I'm going to P3."
"PIPER! HELP ME!"
"This Sesshomaru requires a minimum of three hours of hair maintenance daily," Sesshomaru announced.
"Make that FOUR for me," Inuyasha added.
Heather's eye twitched. "We have ONE bathroom."
"SIT!"
DOUBLE WHAM!
Meanwhile, in a nearby café, Kagome huddled with Naraku (disguised as a human), plotting.
"Are you SURE this potion will break their mate bonds?" she whispered.
Naraku's smile could have frozen hell. "Oh, it will break EVERYTHING."
Back at the manor, both demon lords were secretly enjoying their mate's authority - not that they'd EVER admit it.
"Hair gel?" Heather held up two bottles. "Seriously?"
Simultaneous growls.
"SIT!"
WHAM!
"I think I'm getting the hang of this mate thing," Heather grinned.
The blood moon outside seemed to wink in agreement.