A/N: I'm titling these after songs I listen to on repeat while writing, so don't pay the titles any mind.
Your heart was in your throat as you looked at the piercing blue eyes. His gaze lingering on the small child curled up against your leg. The little girl was hiding behind you, away from his view.
You didn't know what to do, you couldn't believe it. It had been so long since you've seen such a familiar yet unfamiliar face. The surprise visit had your whole-body buzzing, it felt like a dream. You couldn't tell if you wanted to cry or jump into his arms.
You could feel the small hands tighten their grip on your leg, your attention drifting to her for a second. You could tell she was nervous, scared. You followed her gaze too the much older child standing beside him. She was stoic, much like the man that stood before you. Her eyes were the most beautiful emerald and ocean blue. You looked back up to the man, your eyes already becoming itchy from the swell of tears.
"Say something..." you felt the words drip out of your mouth before you could even think. There was a moment where everything stilled, like nothing else mattered but the four of you in your own pocket of space.
It wasn't long before the blonde man broke into a large smile, warming the space around you. It was like a breath of fresh air, completely making you forget any problems you may have had.
"My dear, you know I keep my promises." You could hear the crunch of gravel as he took quick steps toward you. You could feel his warmth envelope you in a bear hug. "You big baby."
You let out a laugh mixed with a sob as you wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder. The faint scent of honey and lavender encased your nostrils, not realizing just how much you missed his hugs. It felt like a small piece of you was back in place, it reminded you of times you'd go on school trips and come home to your mother, like the warmth of the fire, like home.
The small girl behind you tugged on your shirt, bringing your attention away from the Asgardian. Thor let out a hum, looking down at the small girl holding onto your pants. His grip loosened from around your waist, crouching down to the small girl with a large smile plastered on his face. "Well, hello there sweetheart. Aren't you just the cutest. What's your name?"
You could see her gaze look to you then back to Thor, her brain not registering what was happening. She looked at you again, like she was asking permission to speak, "Go ahead, tell him your name."
She nodded and looked back at Thor, her hand extending like her nervousness from earlier was nonexistent. "Lyra."
Thor had a proud smile on his face as he shook her hand, which had engulfed her smaller one. "Thor Odison. It's nice to meet you."
Thor's gaze lingered on Lyra for a moment, taking in her features. He glanced to you then back, letting out a soft hum. "You know, you look nothing like..."
You huffed, gently shoving his shoulder, cutting him off before he could continue. "It's a long story. but what about you? Who is this beautiful young lady?"
You looked at the girl still standing at his side, she looked at you then at Thor before he nodded at her, motioning to you. You didn't have time to understand what exactly was happening before her arms wrapped around your waist, nearly squeezing the life out of you. You stumbled back a bit, before gently placing your hand on her shoulder and cupping the back of her head.
"Uncle Thor told me a lot about you." Her sweet voice matched her sweet face, it nearly had you spilling tears again as you looked at Thor who rubbed the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed. She continued, "You can call me Love."
"Well, Love. It's so nice to meet you. Where did Thor find such a cutie like you." You felt her pull away as you brushed a bit of her hair behind her ear, she smiled up at you enjoying the special treatment.
Thor chuckled, "That is also a long story..."
"How long are you staying?" You could feel Lyra cling back to your side, holding onto your hand a familiar look in her eyes as she stared at Love. You already knew she was a bit jealous.
"Only a few days, I also brought you a gift." Thor gently placed his hand against the small of your back, guiding you to the ship he had come in.
You and Thor talked all night, sharing a glass of mead and tears. He talked about Jane, how he adopted Love and so on. You told him about the High Evolutionary, the guardians, and how you had an unmistakable motherly bond to Lyra.
It didn't take long for the new day too start, the endless buzz of mead keeping you bouncy as you fed the animals. Thor was looking at some of them with Love, her eyes filled with wonder at the variety. Lyra stood beside them, telling them the names. You could see her proud smile. It took a while but once you taught her the names, she jumped at any opportunity to tell anyone and everyone about them. You thought nothing could ruin your day, but then a familiar voice began to echo down the street. The excitement, to show Thor Nowhere and all of the hard work you all put into rebuilding it, disappeared.
"I see you started earlier than I was informed." Adam stood beside you, watching as you fed one of the few animals left. You could feel annoyance beginning to brim at the corners of your very being, wanting to tell him it was to avoid him ruining the next few days with a friend.
"Sorry." You could feel his gaze linger on you as you finished up the last of your work, but then you felt the wind get knocked out of you as Lyra ran to embrace Adam. It was painfully obvious she adored him more than you'd like but you knew better than to include her on your feelings toward Adam.
Lyra excitedly explained what was going on, grabbing onto Adam's hand to guide him toward Love and Thor. "This is Uncle Thor and my new friend Love."
"Uncle?" Adam was unfamiliar with the word, glancing at you.
You couldn't even form the words to begin even explaining what exactly Thor was too you, but you knew it would be way more confusing. "My brother."
"Brother? Thats a new one. I never expected you to have a soft spot for me my dear." Thor was quick to tease you. You could already feel the embarrassment beginning to warm up your cheeks, "Shut up, I just missed you. Don't make me regret it."
Thor chuckled before fixing his gaze on Adam. He looked him up and down and hummed, " I don't believe I've seen any midgard with such a golden completion."
"I am Adam Warlock of the sovereign, not this midgard you speak of." Adam was quick to correct him, an unfamiliar edge to his words as he looked Thor up and down, sizing him up.
You spoke without thinking, "The sovereign were created to be the perfect humans. Can you believe it?" the sarcasm dripped off of each word as you looked at Thor. You hoped none of them noticed, already regretting speaking.
However, Thor let out a hearty laugh. "Why do humans think they can perfect themselves? That's impossible, not even gods can be so perfect."
You could see a flash of sadness in Adam's eyes then as a familiar sensation began floating around your heart, but you chose to ignore it deciding it was best to just stay quiet and let it be.
"What the flark are you doing here?!" The booming voice of Rocket had your head turning, eyes widening and fear building within your chest.
Did he hear you?
"Rabbit! It's been far too long." Thor was quick to walked towards Rocket, rubbing his hand atop his head and nearly tipping him over in the process. Rocket was quick to swat his hand away, "Can you not, you piece of-"
"I heard you're the one watching over my old crew?" Thor completely ignored Rocket, already jumping in conversation. You couldn't help but smile, completely forgetting why you were worried in the first place.
The day went on with Thor reminiscing about the guardians, explaining to Adam, Love and Lyra a completely bs story that had both you and Rocket rolling your eyes. It didn't take long for the mead to be brought up and Rocket joining in on drinking, he wasn't trying to hide how annoyed with Thor he was, but you knew otherwise.
"If you think for a second, we're gonna have you living here-" Rocket glanced to Thor, his words holding a certain edge to it. You could see from his expression that he wasn't impressed with the scene before him, his ears barely drawing back and tail twitching, While the god was leaning back in his seat, his arm wrapped snuggly around your shoulder.
"Live here? Oh no, I came to visit some old friends, and my sweet little sis." Thor rocked you back and forth in his hold, you both drinking much more than you had anticipated, you knew because Thor was very physical in his affections. You didn't mind, enjoying his presence and the attention. You didn't realize just how much you missed him and how easily he got you to relax, you didn't even care for his tease of calling you, his sister. You could feel Rockets gaze burning into your side, when you looked back it was no longer a glare but a much softer expression that he flashed your way before going back to stoic.
"Sister huh? When'd you come to that arrangement? "Rocket took another long gulp from his cup, eyes glowing slightly enjoying the soft burn forming in his stomach.
"Called this big idiot brother earlier and he won't let it go." You nudged Thor's side, his hand removing from your shoulder as he let out a dramatic hiss of pain. "You wound me my dear."
You chuckled, deciding to stand and get more mead in your cup. As you stood your foot went over the other, the familiar jump in your chest had you correcting your missed footing before you fell. There was a hand against your shoulder to steady you, the familiar feel of cool metal had your whole-body tingle, goosebumps already forming on your skin.
"How much have you drank?" The soft tease from Nebula had you blushing from embarrassment, standing up right to look into her dark eyes. "Not too much, why don't you join us?"
"I could use a drink; I'll use my personal supply. You know I don't like how sweet the mead is, especially from goldie locks." You chuckled at her name for Thor, already following beside her as she went into the back of the canteen. The silence was nice while you filled your cup once again, the only sound was the dribble of liquid and glasses clanking together as Nebula searched for her own beverage. Once she found it, she stood beside you to fill her glass with the dark amber liquid of her choice.
"You might wanna bring some of that to Rocket." You were about to grab the bottle, but she huffed, taking it before you could snatch it. You gave her a confused looked before she turned around and pulled out a similar bottle, "It's not as strong as this."
You hummed nodding in agreement, "your right, yours not have a higher content?" Nebula shrugged, "I'm not looking to get drunk, just want to have fun."
You hummed, taking a sip of the freshly poured mead, but you paused. Rocket had a whole bottle of his favorite whiskey, and he wasn't drinking it. You look at the mead and Rocket's bottle then to Nebula. "If Rocket has that then why isn't he drinking it?"
Nebula gave her own look of confusion, "He's been drinking mead this whole time?"
You nodded, your brain working overtime to figure out why Rocket wouldn't just come back here and grab it. "He's been drinking with Thor and I."
Your head began to hurt thinking about it too much. You offered an excuse; not sure what else it could be. "You know how much I like wine, and it doesn't have a high content compared to that rubbing alcohol Rocket likes..." You felt guilt begin to cloud your thoughts. "...Maybe I should've offered him something else."
You could tell something clicked in Nebula's head, like dots connecting together and piecing together what exactly was happening. You wanted to ask, hating being left in the dark at what could possibly be going on, but you didn't have time. Nebula had a knowing smirk, wrapping her arm around your shoulder to guide you back out into the lively get together of the crew. It didn't take long for the question to leave your brain, the sight before you had your whole body flushed with excitement. Not only was it just Thor and Rocket, but it seemed most of Nowhere were already setting up in the canteen and outside. The beautiful lights hung from the walls, painting it in bright colors, the faint sound of music began to play and the laughter and chatter already setting the mood of a party.
You looked over to Thor and Rocket, Thor had giant smile on his face while Rocket had a pleading look in his eyes and a quick flick of his ear, you knew Thor was nearly at the point of being drunk. Rocket would never openly plan for something like this.
Nebula was quick to find her own spot in the corner, not in the mood to socialize without a few drinks.
Thor was already standing and wobbling his way over to you with a big goofy grin. "I asked around earlier and thought it would be fun to have a party. My stay is short, so I wanted to make the most of it, don't you agree my dear sister."
You felt your cheeks flush with embarrassment, he was going to never let that go. "Yea, yea. Will Love be okay staying with the other kids for tonight?"
Thor deadpanned, his smile dropping for a second before bringing it back much brighter than before. "Of course, she knows I'm here if she needs anything. She's a strong kid."
You nodded in acknowledgement, "I'm going to finish my drink then I'll join you in mingling with the others and please don't make them uncomfortable."
Thor only laughed, "You jest, I am the good of making people feel comfortable."
You rolled your eyes, watching as he strode off into the growing crowd.
The night felt like a dream, it was nice to dance and talk to people you haven't caught up with in a while. Thor was already drunk, babbling on and on about his adventures, his past, being very over the top with his descriptions and hand gestures. Nebula was dancing with you earlier but went right back to business and spoke with someone about their plans for a new building. Cosmo, Howard and Kraglin had started up a gambling game in the corner, and Howard was winning like always. Rocket was already making jabs at people and causing fights. You had to bring him back to the table to cool off because someone looked at him weird, and you didn't need anyone getting hurt.
"Flarkin people judging me for having fun, looking at me like I'm some kind of freak." Rocket was already downing another shot, his tense shoulders and twitching ears showed you just how pissed he was. "Come on, no one's judging you."
"Sounds like you're on their side." Rocket snapped, his words already slurring together. You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your own drink. "I'm not on anyone's side. I just think you had a few to many."
Rocket made a sound mixed between a laugh and a scoff. "Ya really think I'm drunk, you don't know me, this is nothing."
You leaned against your palm, looking at the crowd of people dancing and mingling. It felt like your eyes would be stuck behind your head from how many times you've rolled your eyes tonight and dealing with a drunk Rocket wasn't helping.
"I'm not saying you can't drink more. You just don't have to start fights with anyone who looks at you weird." You turned your attention back to the raccoon, who was already look at you, an unimpressed look on his fluffy face. "You didn't hear what he said, so don't go accusing me of wanting to beat some random guy."
You couldn't deny that Rocket had a point, you didn't know why it started, only that Rocket was cussing the poor man out and already reaching for one of the many weapons hidden on him. "What did he say?"
Rocket froze, his ear twitched as his tails puffed out slightly, but just as quickly he began pouring himself another shot. He was going to avoid answering at all costs, you knew it. You quickly snatched the glass from him, holding it just out of his reach while you hummed waiting for him to explain.
"Hey!" Rocket reached for the drink only for you to hold it out further. The growling and bared teeth would've scared you if you hadn't known Rocket for so long. "Tell me and you'll get it back. It must've been embarrassing if you don't wanna talk about."
"It doesn't matter. Just drop it." Rocket reached for the bottle, deciding the fight for the glass wasn't worth it if he could just drink from the bottle. You were quick to snatch that away too, now he had nothing, and you had it all. You could see the look in his gaze shift into a glare. "Stop playin around, I'll bite you."
"Ooo, I'm shaking Captain." You challenged his glare, giving a playful smirk. You already knew he wouldn't harm you; that's just who Rocket was. It's not like he couldn't just go get another bottle, but it seemed to have slipped his mind as he sighed, "Sweetheart, please. It wasn't a big deal, now please just-"
"nu-uh. Come on, it couldn't 'ave been that bad. Can't you be the Rocket who wanted head rubs and told me everything." You gently nudged his shoulder, but you could tell something was wrong as he turned away from you. You thought maybe you went too far, that feeling of guilt coming back once again. "Oh shit. I'm sorry Rocket, I didn't mean it."
You placed the glasses back in front of him, he turned back to you his annoyance peaking through in his body language, but his eyes held so much emotion it genuinely scared you at how they looked into your own. You decided it was best to just continue on, hoping Rocket would forgive you. You steered away from the earlier conversation, hoping the change of subject would help.
It didn't take long for the tense atmosphere to switch back to his soft hues, enlightening the very mood of the entire canteen. Rocket was quick to join the next gambling game in the corner of the room, leaving you with yourself while you watched everyone dance. You felt the calmest you've been in a while, the fear of not being able to join the guardians was no longer lingering in your chest.
It had only been a few months of having Adam entangled in your everyday life, his habits already being somewhat bearable. Rocket noticed the changes in your dynamic, which he praised you for. You would never admit it, but as you got to know Adam, you realized he was genuinely funny even if he didn't mean to be. He always got you to crack a smile like you didn't hate him. He still had problems with boundaries, always being so close to you that you swore he was doing it to get under your skin. Especially after the incident with Lyra. There was a whole week where Adam would cradle your face in his palm when you showed any signs of being upset or sad. He would ask what was wrong and gently rub circles against your cheek like he was waiting for the tears to fall again. It was embarrassing, especially when he had done it in front of Nebula then it got worse when he did it in Rocket's office, in front of Rocket.
You didn't adopt Lyra, but she considered you her mom always speaking that familiar word in Orbose when she greeted you. Much like Adam she was always at your side, if she didn't have any classes. Her and Adam got pretty close when you'd be too busy helping Nebula set up signs and fixing small things around Nowhere or if you were helping Drax run a field trip and when he would need your help in much bigger project for the kids.
No one talked about the three of you, so you assumed it wasn't as big of a deal as you thought. It was a weird dynamic between you, Adam and Lyra. You tried not to think to much about it, afraid being too deep in that thought would have you punching the golden man for worming his way into the deepest darkest part of your heart.
"Are you alright my dear?" Thor's booming voice made you jump in fear; he chuckled softly at your surprised expression staring up at him.
"What are you doing over here alone? Let's dance! Have fun! No moping while I'm here." Thor was quick to scoop you from out of your seat. You let out a gasp of surprise while he carried you to the small group of people dancing.
You couldn't stop yourself from laughing, trying to squirm away from his grasp. "Thor please. I'm not a child I can walk by myself."
"Ah, of course but you would not have joined me if I did not carry you." His gentle nudge while he held you, had you bounce slightly in his hold. You could feel your heartbeat increase; afraid he might drop you.
The beat of the music rang in your ears while Thor's laugh rang through the canteen, the upbeat music had your chest thumping along. Thor twirled with you in his hold, making you giggle, holding onto him still frightened of falling. "Okay, Okay, I will dance. Put me down!"
Your hand came up to tussle his hair askew, the blonde strand covering his face as he finally set you back onto the ground. His hand came up to brush his air back, a goofy grin on his face as he grabbed your hands and began spinning you around.
All of your earlier thoughts were forgotten while you danced with the god. He partook in consuming the harder liquors while you only drank less than half of what he consumed. You could feel the buzz on your body while you downed another shot, Thor dragging you back to the dancefloor for another dance. It didn't take long before a slower song came on, you were on the bridge between a buzz and drunk, another shot, and you knew you'd be smiling and giggling at everything as Thor did.
Thor guided you while you danced, the slow rhythm was foreign to the upbeat music from earlier, but it was nice to be guided along in the steps he took. You couldn't stop laughing as he kept tripping over himself, obviously out of it compared to you. It felt like an eternity dancing to the song before you caught a brief shimmer of gold in your peripheral. The soft melody of the music was nothing compared to the pounding of your heart. As much as you hated the feeling, the want to see Adam outweighed any logical thoughts in your brain.
"May I have the next dance?" The familiar accent had your heart leap into your throat, nearly jumping out of Thor's grip. "Of course, my shiny friend, as long as you are alright with it My dear?"
Thor was still so polite as he paused, looking down at you then to the man that stood not too far. His golden eyes had a certain spark at the nickname Thor had called you, but it barely went noticed by you. You wanted to deny it, fighting off the feeling welling in your chest at Adam's words but once again your heart betrayed you.
"Of course, I'd love to dance." The slur in your words proved to you that you were definitely drunk. And right on que, the song ended.
Thor gently guided your hands to Adam, who quickly stood between you and the god. His grip on your hand was soft, comforting, guiding one to his shoulder while he cupped the other one. Adam's warmth was felt throughout your whole body, the alcohol seeming to heighten that effect while you kept your gaze away from his face. The song seemed to go on forever, the music being the only thing to fill the silence between you. Then, Adam gently pulled your body closer, his arms wrapping around your waist while you held onto his shoulders for support, afraid you'd slip over yourself.
"Why does he call you 'My dear?" You could feel the rumble against Adam's chest as he spoke, the warm feel of his breath against your face as he pulled back slightly. "He cares about me, loves me, it's just a nickname that means exactly that."
"So, I should call you my dear as well?" His bluntness had you stuttering over your words, not really sure how you felt. It was a mix of disgust and yearning, a deadly mix. You couldn't tell if you it was even real, if you had just heard him wrong.
Did you drink too much?
"I mean, I've known Thor for a long time. I think, dear suits me best from him." You didn't even know if that made sense, only feeling the gentle hum of his chest as you laid your head against it, sleep already becoming a nuisance.
"I must make up one of my own?" Adam was already lost in thought before you could respond, "Stardust?"
You couldn't help the shiver that ran up your spine. Stardust. It rang in your ears so beautifully from his tongue, like the nickname was meant for you. You could feel your mind race to fight off your heart, you knew you shouldn't be feeling this way. It made you hurt, annoyed but with the way your chest and heart burn so brightly, you knew you were so close to falling. barely tittering off the edge of the beauty of experiencing something you've longed for, not even thinking of past lovers just him. Adam. His voice, his enchanting scent of cologne, the warm feeling of his hands while they held you so delicately and the look of anticipation on his features.
"That sounds good. It's definitely unique." You watched a warm smile form, his eyes lightening up at the acceptance and praise. "My Stardust."
It wasn't long before the song ended, leaving you fuller than before. The feel of Adam's touch still lingered on your body as you sat beside Rocket who was just as drunk as you were. His gaze was piercing as he watched Adam take a seat next to Kraglin who had decided gambling was beyond him. You were too drunk to notice, only handing the raccoon another shot, you wanted to drown out the feeling in your heart that Adam left you with. And Rocket seemed just as eager as you.
As the night progressed Thor was already out like a light in the chair in front of you and Rocket. Nebula was the first to turn in, then others followed. It was just a hand full of people within the canteen now, and you couldn't deny you were slurring over your own words as you and Rocket were drawing small designs on Thor's face. It was only fair that the first to fall asleep at a party, received such a punishment.
It didn't take long for you both to leave the canteen, Rocket was singing along to the lyrics of the song that was last playing. His grip on your hand tightening as he tried to keep himself balanced.
"Ya know..." Rocket's voice cut through the silence, nearly making you jump from the suddenness. "Earlier... what that guy said."
You could feel your heart stop, the regret eating away at you for over stepping. "Sorry for bugging you about it."
"No-No it's okay, it just..." Rocket stopped, his hands moving around erratically to emphasize his words, then they fell to his side like he was pondering on continuing.
"He mentioned Adam and the kid, sayin his chances with you were gone now that you started a family." Rocket hissed, his ears twitching, tail whipping back and forth, and his shoulders were tense. It definitely still got under his skin.
You were speechless, completely in shock at what was said. Your fear of others noticing how much time you've spent with Adam, ever since Rocket set you up to this task, wasn't just you being crazy. It made you want to throw yourself into space, just to get rid of the embarrassment and anger, but at the same time it was funny that some guy thought he had a chance with you. The alcohol helping to alleviate the stress from your body, clouding it over in a thick layer of amusement
You couldn't control the laugh bubbling up from your chest, "So that's what got you so worked up? An idiot who thinks I started a family."
Rocket paused, stuttering over himself. "Well yea. Believe me sweetheart, guys like that only want one thing and it's disgusting!"
"Don't act so pure, I've heard stories from Peter about you." Your laughter that was dying down came back at the expression on Rocket's face.
He crossed his arms over his chest, turning his head and groaning. "He doesn't know nothin', plus I know what's good for you and it ain't some idiot like that guy."
"Oh, so now you know what's good for me. I could be getting laid right now if you didn't have Adam and I cuffed together. This is your fault." You stuck your tongue out, enjoying the feeling in your chest from pride, giving back what he had given you.
"Bullshit. I ain't having you sleep with half of Nowhere while I'm here, none of 'em deserve you." Rocket looked up at you, challenging you and you weren't going to back down. "So, tell me who does? Since you seem to know me so well."
If you were being honest, your response was more of a joke which you thought he caught on to, but the way he paused had you thinking otherwise.
"I-" His eyes were wide, his whole body moved along with his deep breathes. "He-"
It scared you that you had Rocket speechless, it was so rare for him to not have a quick comeback. His fight for an answer had your heart pounding in your chest, not only was he struggling but he seemed to panic, his breathing going uneven as one of his paws found its way to the back of his neck. Rocket must've seen the concern on your face because he quickly corrected his posture, his eyes widening. It was like something clicked into place, that you weren't too sure what to make of it.
"I can't tell you, sweetheart." His almost cool even response made it seem like you had just imagined what you just witnessed. "Y'sure? Because you started freaking out. You can tell me anything, you know that."
You felt his grip against your hand, completely cutting off your worried voice. He didn't say anything, only rubbing small circles against the back of your hand as he turned his gaze away. You could feel the shift in the atmosphere, the tension had your stomach turn and your heart skip. He was fighting off something internally, you could feel it from the grip he had on your hand.
"You really don't know..." You could feel your brows scrunch together at his words, the familiar hint of regret confirmed to you that the walls he put up were slowly coming down. It still wasn't familiar to you just how easily he'd drop them around you.
You let go of his hand, he let a small whimper fall from his lips at the loss of contact. You sunk down onto one knee, cautiously reaching out to gently pet his head hoping the contact wouldn't make him snap at you but it seemed to have calmed him down,
"Rocket, it's okay. We were just joking around; I didn't mean to make you sad." Rocket quickly pulled away from your touch, the fur on his body standing on end. His annoyance was written on his face as his misty eyes looked up at you. "I wasn't joking. I know what's good for you!"
You felt yourself flinch away; afraid you might make him angrier if you so much as breathed wrong. You knew he didn't mean it, but the way the teeth showed in a snarl, had you second guessing yourself. You wanted to move, to walk away but something kept you in place, you didn't know if it was the fear or the way Rocket was trying so hard to push you away.
"I know what's good for you..." He repeated, sorrow seeping into each word. He took a cautious step toward you, waiting for you to leave and when you didn't his paw coming up to cup one side of your face in his palm. You couldn't breathe at the sight of a single tear that fell from his eyes as he continued, "...But you make it so hard to stay away."
You felt your whole world crumble around you.
This couldn't be happening.
This couldn't be happening.
You didn't want to believe Rocket and his confession, blaming the alcohol for everything that got you to this point. You couldn't fathom the mixed feelings within yourself. It hurt, it felt nice but most of all you could feel the regret. You wished it had been someone else, someone who didn't mean as much to you as Rocket did, but it was Rocket. And you couldn't bring yourself to speak, to think. After everything you went through, his past, your past, there was no way you could have predicted this outcome, not when you cried to him about Steve all those years ago. It felt like a distant memory now, a memory you didn't need to think about.
Rocket wasn't someone who fell in love, who wanted anything to do with a genuine relationship, he wanted fun nothing serious yet here he was telling you the opposite. He was telling you he felt more toward you than anyone else he's ever been with, that you were more than just a friend, more than someone he wanted to use. You couldn't come to terms with that. You couldn't believe it. You wanted to hate him, to yell at him for being so stupid but you knew that feeling all too well.
"Rocket, please don't-" You could feel your voice tremble.
"I mean it." You could feel his thumb gently rub against your cheek, the comfort in his words was making it harder and harder to say what you wanted. "I know its selfish, for wanting someone who was never mine to begin with."
You wanted to ask, to know what exactly he meant but you were completely caught off guard by the nuzzle of his face against your neck. He buried himself in your warmth, inhaling deeply. You could feel the warm droplets along your neck, knowing now what he was doing.
"It really is my fault for pushin' you right into his arms" You could feel his body shake, even through tears he chuckled, completely lost in his own thoughts. Yet, you still couldn't move past his words, his sadness eating its way into your heart, the fact he was right. You could feel your own eyes beginning to sting, still not understanding with what you were feeling.
Rocket let out a shaky breath, "Let me have you, just for a moment."
You could feel him pull away; you didn't have time to process his words as the faint tickle of whiskers danced against your face, the warm sandpaper of his tongue lingers over your cheeks swiping away the tears that had fallen. Rocket's breath fanned across your face, his tongue moving to the other to repeat what he had just done. Then you felt it, the gentle brush of his snout against your nose, then the faint flicker of his lips against your own. You could feel his sadness, his yearning, his anger in that short kiss while all you felt was regret.
Once he pulled away you could see the small smile on his face, sadness within his eyes. You wanted to comfort him to tell him it was going to be okay, that you were sorry, but you didn't get a chance to speak as he fell face first into the gravel.
You wanted to help him, but you could feel a chuckle bubble within your chest. His confession, his kiss, it all fell to the back of your mind as the chuckled turned into full blown laughter. The gentle thump of footsteps catching your attention as you tried deciphering who it was through the tears in your eyes from laughing. Your grip on Rocket's arm loosened as you tried lifting him, your laughter making you weak.
"I am Groot." the familiar voice had you holding onto the tress arm, nodding along to his words while you caught your breath, finally lifting Rocket into your arms. "He did have too much to drink."
Groot nodded, holding onto your side while you inhaled deeply. "I am Groot?"
You sniffled, wiping your eyes as you stood upright, "I'll be fine, just take care of Rocket. I'll see you tomorrow."
Groot was quick to scoop his friend from your grasp, carrying him back to his apartment while you stumbled over yourself to get back to your own. Your whole body was numb from the alcohol, the sway of your body had you stumble slightly.
Rocket's words were still playing in your head, you could feel tears threatening to spill again. It honestly felt like a dream, like it wasn't real, but the damp cuff of your shirt proved enough that it did indeed happen.
"Are you alright?" The familiar sound of Adam had your head snapping up in his direction. You couldn't stop the small smile from forming. "'m alright. Just going home."
"I can chaperone you, if you'd like Stardust?" The nickname made your stomach flutter, you thought you were going to throw up. Adam was quick to hook his arm around your waist, hoisting you up to stand but your body nearly had you both toppling over, not getting your feet to cooperate with you.
This was so embarrassing, not only were you drunk but you had Adam of all people helping you home. You didn't want his help, you wanted to push him away, but your whole body was warm, fuzzy, numb and weak and Rocket's words kept repeating in your head.
Adam couldn't possibly understand what love was, so you didn't know why your heart skipped a beat when he gave you those big golden puppy eyes, or when his touch lingered too long. His every action trying to please you, to make you like him. You wanted so badly to just enjoy the man Adam was. He was a sweet protective man who had you breathless with the bare minimum of what a man should be. He already wormed his way passed the walls you put up, setting camp up within the empty void Steve once laid.
You didn't want to think that Steve had left you, left you to live his dream with his first and only love. The Fear that Adam would do the same was gut wrenching, a genuine fear that left you with a trail of broken hearts because if Steve did it then the next one surely will. Steve was like a parasite in your heart, mind, body and soul. He ate away at any chance of falling for someone else. He was the one you saw a future with a future that doesn't exist and will never exist. It made sense to just leave it in the past, but you were stubborn, holding onto hope that you'd wake up in the Avenger tower to everyone, to him, like this was a bad dream.
"Stardust..." Adam's voice brought you out of your thoughts.
You could barely see him through the cloud of your vision, already knowing you had started to cry.
You hated yourself for being so sensitive, so angry. "I'm sorry, I drank more than-"
"It's okay, I'm right here Stardust." Adam shushed you, his hand coming up to cup your cheek, swiping away the tears that fell from your cheeks. You leaned into his touch, allowing the tears to fall freely.