A loud noise in the kitchen followed by an even louder curse woke Remus up, and had him stumbling into the kitchen.
"Cariad, are you alright?"
"Everything is going to shit already," Sirius replied with a sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's our last morning together so I was trying to make it special, and as per usual I fucked it all up. That's all I'm good for!"
"Sirius, that's not true."
"Yes it is! The batter was too lumpy and I somehow burnt the outer edges of the pancakes and the insides are still raw. When I went to get a dish towel I turned too fast and knocked the mixture onto the floor. I'm a fucked up mess."
"These are all just accidents," Remus said gently, wrapping his arms around Sirius and pulling him into his chest. "Tell me what's really bothering you?"
"Did you mean it, Remus?"
"I'm not often in the habit of saying things that I don't mean. What exactly are you referring to?"
"You said that I factor into all of your life decisions now. What if the novelty of all of this wears off? I'm scared you're going to come to your senses while we're apart and want nothing to do with me anymore," Sirius admitted quietly, not having the nerve to look at Remus's face, scared of what he might find.
"Why do you think that I'm with you?"
"I don't know. I'm nice to look at? A good shag?"
"Has anything that I've said or done to you made you feel as if I'm only with you for your looks or what you can do for me?"
"No, of course not!," Sirius answered in a rush, squeezing Remus tightly.
"Then why would you even suggest that?"
Remus could barely suppress the hurt creeping into his tone. This wasn't about him, not directly, and he had to remember that.
"I'm just worried that time apart will make you realize that we're not a good match. You're so smart and I'm just...," Sirius trailed off, waving a hand in the air.
"A successful business owner. A wonderful brother. Someone who was born with everything at their disposal but lost it all, and had to adapt and reinvent himself to survive. You had every excuse in the book to turn into a vile person like your birth parents, but you are nothing like them, cariad.
When I look at you Sirius, you shine like your namesake, and not just because you're beautiful. You shine because of everything you've overcome. I don't think less of you because you never finished university. Quite the opposite actually. I think you're brave for knowing what you wanted to do and taking the initiative to make it happen, despite what other people may have made you feel about it. You pursued what you wanted to do despite having no one on your side.
Besides, our differences are what make us work so well together. I've dated myself long enough. I don't care that you don't like to read because you'll listen to me read instead, or you'll let me lay with my head in your lap and you'll run your fingers through my hair in the way that I love. I don't care that you're loud when I'm reserved because I get to quietly watch you be in your element. I don't care that you hog all of the covers because you wrap yourself around me like I'm important and worth protecting. I don't care that your clothes are spilling out of my closet and you leave your products all over the bathroom sink because those are signs that you're here, and you're here to stay. I want you to take up as much space as you need, because when I look at you, I see my future Sirius Black."
"I sound pretty amazing when you put it like that..."
Sirius's head was reeling at all of the information Remus had dumped upon him. He couldn't believe that after years of being told he was simultaneously too much and not enough, that he found a man to love him just as he was.
"You're exemplary, really. I don't bring just anyone home to Wales you know, and never to stay. My last boyfriend came to visit for a day, and that was the end of it. My parents are going to love you just as much as I do," Remus promised, cupping Sirius's cheek in his hand before kissing him gently.
"Go back to bed mon cœur, I'll clean this mess up."
"We'll clean it up and go back to bed together. I think we could both use some more cuddles."
"I'll never deny my Moony cuddles."
When the kitchen was clean and Sirius was pressed into Remus's chest back in bed, it was Remus's turn to ask a question.
"Did you mean it, Sirius?"
"Did I mean what?"
"That you want to show me all of the places I want to see," came Remus's quiet reply.
"I will take you anywhere and everywhere that you want to go Remus, as long as you'll have me."
"Then we're in agreement, cariad. Forever. I don't use that term lightly, and I think you'll see that when I bring you home for the new year. I can't wait to share this with you."
"I can't wait to see your childhood room and where you grew up."
"It's small, but it's home."
"I like small, it's cozy," Sirius teased, wiggling closer into Remus.
"It's a good thing you already sleep on top of me, it's probably the only way we can fit together in my bed."
"I can stay in your room with you? That's allowed?"
"We're grown, Sirius," Remus replied with a laugh. "We just need to control ourselves."
"So no sexy FaceTime then?," Sirius asked with a pout.
Remus kissed the pout off of his face.
"Probably not cariad."
"That's okay, as long as we can have regular FaceTimes."
"Every day. Twice a day even," Remus promised.
"Good. Get some more rest."
Sirius woke up an hour later, and decided to restart their morning. He slowly wiggled out from underneath Remus, and quietly went back to the kitchen. He tamed his ideas of grandeur, and ordered delivery from their favorite brunch spot instead. While waiting for it to arrive, he set the table, setting out some candles to set the mood.
Next, Sirius meticulously placed Remus's presents on the table in the living room. They were stacked neatly, in size order, complete with hand tied bows. Nodding his head in satisfaction, he smiled as he buzzed up the delivery driver and worked on setting up their meal, before going back to the bedroom to fetch Remus.
"Are you training me to get used to waking up without you?," Remus asked with a pout, holding tight to Sirius's pillow.
"Never mon trésor. I took your advice and decided to restart the day. Come on, everything is ready," Sirius said, holding his hands out to intertwine them with Remus's and help him out of bed.
"I would have been happy with toast, you know."
"I don't want you to ever have to settle for less than what you deserve."
"We deserve each other," Remus said softly, pulling Sirius in for a kiss. "I'm never settling for anything. I've upgraded, really."
"My parents are going to absolutely love you. Effie is going to steal you away from me the first chance she gets. I can't fight off my poor mum, I'll just have to watch sadly from the sidelines as you're whisked away."
"I'll always come back to you. What's the moon if there's no star to complement it?"
Sirius quite liked the sound of that, the two of them astral bodies destined to be together.
"Let's eat so that I can give you your presents before I drop you off at the train station."
"You didn't have to get me anything. Having you by my side is more than enough."
"You're only saying that because you don't know how fantastic of a gift giver I actually am."
Laughing, Remus pulled Sirius in for a hug and kissed the top of his head.
"You're my greatest gift."
"Stop being so sappy will you? You're going to make me cry."
"I'm just being honest. What are we eating?"
"Brunch from our spot. I'll get those pancakes right one of these days."
"Even if you don't, I'll make them for you whenever you want."
"I'm determined to learn."
"Then I'll help you however I can. Now, is there anything specifically you want to see in Wales?"
"I've heard the coastal towns are beautiful, but it's not quite the weather for that is it?"
"I reckon we'll have lots of snow, but if we get a clear break in the weather I'll bring you to Cardiff. There's so much history and the castles are beautiful."
"I want to see everywhere that's important to you. It doesn't have to have historical significance, just Remus significance."
"Okay. I can do that."
They continued to chat about holiday plans while finishing up their meal. Sirius insisted he do the washing up so that Remus could get ready to go before their gift exchange.
"Okay, I'm ready. Shall we exchange one at a time then?," Remus asked, coming in with a neatly wrapped stack of presents.
"I like that idea. I'll start with the smaller things and lead up to the biggest I suppose. Happy Christmas Moons."
"Happy Christmas Pads."
Remus laughed as he unwrapped the sweater.
"What's so funny? I thought you would like it?"
Sirius quickly understood as Remus handed him a similarly bulky wrapped package.
"You didn't!"
"I did, but something is wrapped in it so be careful."
"Oh. Is that...?"
"You always say you like when your things smell like me, smell like us, so it's a bottle of my cologne. It's not the same but-"
"God Remus, you're so fucking thoughtful."
Sirius spoke the words into his mouth, not wanting to pull away from their kiss yet.
"These are just the little things."
"You're going to have to pry me off of you with a crowbar if you think this was little. Here."
Remus knew it was a book before he opened it, but his jaw dropped as soon as he saw the cover.
"You didn't."
Opening it carefully, he inhaled sharply.
"Sirius..."
"You said this was the only one missing from your collection. Regulus helped me track it down actually."
"I can't believe it. A signed first edition copy. I don't even want to know how much it cost."
"Cost means nothing. It's going to the best home it possibly could."
"Thank you. I... I'm actually speechless. I can't believe I'm holding this right now. Here's your next gift. I hope you like it."
Carefully tearing off the paper, Sirius inhaled sharply at the ring. It was silver, engraved with stars and moons.
"It's real silver, I know the other metals irritate your skin. The middle piece spins. Something to help you when you get nervous so that you stop picking at your nail beds. I had the inside band engraved too."
"My cariad," Sirius said softly, looking at the inside of the ring. "Your handwriting?"
"It is."
"Remus, you need to take a later train."
"We still have time. It's only-"
"I'm taking you to bed immediately and I'm going to ride you until I can't feel my legs anymore."
"I- um," Remus sputtered, his face turning that shade of red that Sirius loves. "This is your last gift."
"You're so adorable. The best decision I ever made was not leaving your bed," Sirius teased, removing the paper. "Oh Moons."
"It's a scrapbook, for us. I started it, and I figured as time went on we could build onto it, together. I left the first page blank so that you could decorate it however you want."
"This is the most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten," Sirius said quietly, flipping through the timeline of their relationship. "I knew from the moment that you smiled at me you were going to be different. I was worried I was going to scare you away. I never thought relationships were for me, but that first time you held my hand I never wanted to let go. And you kept the ice cream receipt."
"I'm extremely sentimental. I know we both want a family some day, and they can see just how much we loved each other from day one."
"This is your last gift, unless you count what's going to happen in the bedroom as soon as you open it."
Remus laughed, burying his face in Sirius's neck.
"I think we might have to FaceTime three times a day now, because I don't know how I'm going to survive without this."
"By dramatically staring out the window and counting down the seconds until my return. Well, your return I suppose since you're coming to me first. You get what I mean."
"Oh, it's a cookbook. That's really- is that my mam's recipe?"
"Cooking and baking mean a lot to you. Every recipe that we make together, I want to put it in here. The waffles were the first thing we made, and then I shared my bread recipe with you. I'm going to learn more of Effie's recipes so that I can add them to the book too. I want to share these parts with you too."
"I..."
Sirius watched curiously as Remus shook his head and grabbed his cell phone instead of replying. He tapped and scrolled for a bit before tossing it carelessly on the table and standing up.
"What?"
"I'm taking the 1:15 train now so that I can take you to bed immediately."
Sirius had never made it to the bedroom so quickly in his life. If there's one thing he was good at, it was keeping his promises.
"You know, I'm now realizing that I need my legs to drive."
Remus's laugh was loud and sharp before fading into giggles as he pressed his face into Sirius's neck.
"Thank you for all of the presents cariad."
"Do I have to ask which one was your favorite?," Sirius teased, pressing his arse into Remus again.
"They were all perfect. Every single one of them. I've never felt so seen before. I can't wait to fill up that cookbook with you."
"I love the scrapbook of course because it's something else that we get to do together, but the ring and the cologne were so thoughtful. You know that keeping you close makes me feel grounded, and you were able to give me that even when you're not there."
"I will be waxing poetic about that book to Lily the whole entire train ride. She's going to be so jealous."
"Always the absolute best for you Remus."
"That's why I have you Sirius," Remus replied, kissing him softly before nipping at his bottom lip. "Come on, I need a shower. I don't know why I bothered to get dressed before we opened gifts knowing that this is how you react whenever I do something nice for you."
"That... is very fair actually. Come on, I'll wash your hair one last time."
Their goodbyes at the train station were very bittersweet.
"You're sure you have everything? If when you get there you realize you've forgotten something, let me know and I'll bring it with me."
"I have everything, yes. I'll see you in a few days, cariad."
Sirius hugged Remus tightly before kissing him just teetering on the edge of being indecent.
"Safe travels mon cœur, let me know as soon as you've arrived."
"You'll be my first message. Safe travels to you as well."
"I will be texting you the whole road trip. It's disgusting that I have to third wheel the whole time."
"We'll just have to be even more unbearable than they are then won't we?"
"I like that plan."
With one last tight hug, Sirius took a step back to allow Remus to make his train on time.
"I'll see you soon Pads."
"See you soon Moons."
Sirius knew Remus was taking his heart with him, and only a small piece of it returned when at the last second, Remus blew him a kiss that Sirius quickly pressed to his heart. He stayed until the train pulled away, and then he began the quiet drive back to his home.
"Come here," James said softly, opening his arms for Sirius as soon as he walked through the door.
"I can't believe that I miss him already. It's quite pathetic really."
"Sirius, don't you remember the first time Lily stayed the night and had an early morning class I forgot about so when I woke up and she was gone I cried the whole morning thinking I ruined everything?"
"I do remember that."
"What you're feeling now will slowly fade with time. You two are attached at not only the hip, but various other body parts I would rather not think about. This is the longest you've been away since you first got together, I think it's natural to feel this way. Let me tell you, that first kiss when you see him again? It'll feel almost as good as the first time."
"I'm going to tell him I love him on New Year's I think. That's the goal, but I'm bursting with so much love for him it wouldn't surprise me if I just yelled it in his face."
"Lily beat me to it and I cried, so much."
"We're a right pair aren't we?," Sirius asked, shaking his head with a laugh.
Their moment was put on pause by Sirius's phone ringing, making him jump.
"Hi Reggie."
"Did you mean it when you invited me to come with you?"
"Of course I meant it. We leave tomorrow if you're available."
"I can be."
"We'll pick you up. We're driving over. I'll text Effie that she should be expecting you."
"I'll text you where to pick me up then. Thank you, I'll see you tomorrow."
With a grin, Sirius immediately texted Remus.
Cariad: I won't be third wheeling after all Moons, Regulus is coming with us!!
Moons: That's fantastic Sirius, you deserve the absolute best holiday. I'm glad you can reconnect with him <3
Cariad: <3 <3 <3
"Mum is going to be so excited that Regulus is coming too!," James gushed. "And I know she cannot wait to meet Remus," he continued slyly, a smirk on his face. "How are you feeling about that?"
"Uncharacteristically calm. Remus is the best there is, I know everyone is going to love him. My only worry is mum stealing him away from me."
James laughed, hugging Sirius tighter.
"Oh she most certainly will. Come on, let's take a last minute run to the shops. We need more snacks for Regulus now."
"Fair, but you're driving."
"Toss me the keys?"
"Here you go Prongs. Do you-"
"Is that a ring?!," James screeched, grabbing Sirius's hand and pulling it close to his face.
"It's one of my Christmas presents," Sirius replied with a soft smile, spinning the piece on his finger. "So I stop messing with my nail beds. The inside is engraved and everything."
James let out a low whistle and shook his head.
"I see why you're not worried."
"I've no reason to be. To the shops we go."
Meanwhile, Remus was texting with Lily on the tube, working on the final details of their New Year's celebration.
Lily: Do you want to stay at mine after or were you going back to yours?
Remus: Maybe we can ring in the new year watching films? There's always so much pressure to be doing something amazing. I'd rather start the new year with the people I love the most
Remus: and James :)
Lily: Remus John Lupin!
Remus: Yes, I know. Unfortunately he's very slowly growing on me. Like moss on a rock
Lily: I knew it!!
Lily: Enough about that, how did the gift exchange go?
Remus: Oh you're going to be so jealous
The train ride went quickly as he caught up with Lily, and soon enough Remus was in his mam's arms, having sent Sirius a quick text to let him know he'd arrived safely.
Cariad: counting down the days until I'm reunited with my lovely Moony x
Moons: I'm also counting down, but please make sure you're spending time with your family and not just texting me the whole time. You deserve to give them your full attention while you're there cariad, I can't be selfish :(
Cariad: I think you can be a little selfish!
Moons: FaceTimes at least twice a day remember? I'm not discouraging texting, I'll still text you every moment I can, but I know how excited you are to see your parents again
Cariad: sometimes I dislike having a smart boyfriend :(
Moons: I know, I'm just terrible aren't I?
Sirius smiled as a picture of Remus hugging his mum came through.
Cariad: never <3 enjoy the time with your parents Remus
Moons: Enjoy your time with your brothers. FaceTime after dinner?
Cariad: i'll be waiting
Moons: <3
"Absolutely sickening," James teased, nudging Sirius with his shoulder.
"Look at him and his mum! I love him," Sirius replied with a happy sigh, pocketing his cell phone.
"It's nice, seeing you this happy, Sirius."
"It's nice feeling this happy."