It's been a while, I know. I have missed writing! Now, I am back and hope to find time to write often once again! Here is chapter 3 and there is no Tricia this chapter like I had planned because hey plans change! She will be in chapter 4.
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Chapter 3
"Shit," I said after mom had laid the baby down for a nap.
"What?" mom questioned.
"I am supposed to be picking up Tricia in 20 minutes. I was going to ask her to marry me, but I can't do that now," I said frustrated as I ran my hand through my hair.
Mom looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds and then asked, "Why not?"
"Seriously, I can't ask the woman to marry me and saddle her with a kid that even I didn't know about," I said looking at my mother as if that should be pretty damn obvious.
"Well, shouldn't that be her decision, hon?" she asked.
"How the hell do you expect me to bring this up. Will you marry me and be a mother to my kid that a girl I had sex with dropped off today?" I said sarcastically. Mom reached behind me and smacked my head.
"What the hell was that for?" I asked getting right pissed about her hitting me.
"Daniel Lee, you don't have to be a smartass. How about telling her that you got an unexpected surprise today and bring her back here to meet Christine and then take it from there. She will know about the baby and then when you get the chance to ask her again she will know that that is part of the deal," mom said. Even I had to admit she made sense, although, I can only hope this whole baby thing doesn't push Tricia away from me, she deserves to know as soon as possible.
"Yeah, you're probably right," I said.
"Call Tricia and tell her you will be late and then you and I need to have a talk," she said. I just nodded because I am going to need her help big time with this whole baby thing, so I chose to suck it up and do what I am told.
I know I am being a pansy ass but I don't think I could talk to Tricia at the moment so I sent her a text saying I would be late and I didn't know how late. She responded with a sweet little heart and telling me to hurry my ass up. God, I love that woman please don't let her leave me. I need her. Feeling like I was walking the walk of death, trudging me feet and forcing every step down the beige carpeted steps, I made my way back downstairs and found mom in the kitchen. She was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee turning the cup slowly as she stared at it hard.
"Sit down, it's time we had a chat about a lot of things," she said. Without saying a word I sat directly across from her at the kitchen table.
"First, we are going to talk about your dad. I know you blame me for him leaving and I was okay with that for a long time because I wanted you to love your father. But now, I think it's time you know the truth," she said looking down at her hands in shame.
"And that would be what?" I asked getting angry with her all over again for him leaving.
"Your father did leave because he didn't want to be with me any longer. I begged him to stay, but he was set on leaving. Shamelessly, I even threw you and your sister into it trying to guilt him into staying with us. Your father was your hero and I never wanted that to change, son. He was a navy pilot and a great one at that. Unfortunately, after he began his travels he gave his heart to someone else," mom told me. I couldn't believe what she was telling me. I sliced my hand through the air silencing her words.
"Stop! What the hell are you saying? You told us before that he left on assignment and was angry with you from the fight Jenn and I both heard. You said he went on that assignment to have a breather from the fight you had with him!" I said angrily. Not sure what I was angrier with her for anymore; dad leaving or her lies.
"I know, I know. I am so sorry I lied to you; I just thought you two would be better off thinking that he left because he was angry with me. Anyway, please just let me finish before you interrupt again. So, as I was saying the Navy had sent him to Spain on a mission and he was there for some time. I had you and Jenn here so we all just waited for news from him. What I didn't know was that he...," she paused in her story.
"Go on mom, what is it?" I urged her forward. She sighed heavily before she continued without meeting my hard stare.
"He had started a new family with a Spanish woman named Adelina. The fight you heard that night was your father telling me about his other family. He had been living a double life for years, but he no longer wanted that kind of complicated life. He made his decision and we weren't part of it. He told me that he wanted to see you and your sister, but that he would be moving to Spain to marry Adelina as soon as the divorce was final, so it would be impossible. He said he didn't see how it would work out for him to be a part of any of our lives and he wanted to be fair to us all and make a clean break of it so we didn't suffer any more than was necessary. Last I had heard, he had two sons and a daughter with Adelina and they were living in the south of Spain near her family. I am so sorry Daniel," I was hanging on every word that came from her mouth, but I couldn't believe it. My dad loved me and would never leave, leave us.
"I don't believe you," I said in a near whisper. She closed her eyes and nodded, sighing once again before leaving me sitting at the table on my own, very confused and angry. I heard her bare feet pounding the hallway coming back toward the kitchen. She had an envelope in her hand snd with tears in her eyes she handed it to me.
"I kept this in case I needed to tell you one day and I thought you might need to see it with your own eys," she said. I looked down at the envelope and recognized my dad's handwriting because the letters he sent me while he was away in the Navy I have read multiple times; anytime I would miss him so bad my heart would ache I would read them. I heard Christine wail from the bedroom. Setting the letter on the table I began to rise from the chair, but mom put her hand on my shoulder.
"I will take care of her for now. You read that. You need to see it for yourself," she said gently. My hands began to shake nervously as I started to remove the letter from the envelope. I began reading it slowly as to take in every word.
Dear Dhira,
I do hope this letter finds you and the children well. We didn't part on the best of terms, I realize. Please try to understand that I have found my soul mate. She is everything I thought I would never find. You were a dutiful wife and did everything I could have asked from you, but we both know that our passion was short-lived and we have been living only for the children in the past several years. While I will always hold a place in my heart for you, my life and love is with Adelina and our kids. I do regret not telling you before about Adelina and my life here, but I thought I could be there for our children as well as my kids with Adelina. She and our kids need me more than you ever could. Our children are strong minded people and I have no doubt to your ability to care for them, for you are where they ge their strength. My only regret is not being able to watch them as they continue to grow into adults. While you may hate me all you like, they are after all very impressionable and telling them the truth could cause them to rebel and get into a lot of trouble. One day, I will return to the United States and I would like to see my children, but I'll wait until they are of age so that you and I don't have to wage war about it.
Best Wishes to you and the children,
Francois Daniel Castanza
The anger that welled up inside of me was indescribable, the betrayal I felt from what I once thought of as my hero, my father was nearly crushing to my soul. Nearly my whole life had been a lie. The anger and hatred I had for my mother for running him off was ill aimed. She was not to blame. The man I was named after and whom donated the sperm that formed me was to blame. He was never a father; no he was just a donor. Wadding the paper that held his elegant, traitorous script I threw it across the room. Hearing my mother singing a lullaby to my daughter, tears nearly fell from my eyes at all I have put her through these past several years. Blinking the wetness from my eyes, I made my way to the living room where I saw my mother rocking my baby girl gently.
"I have to meet up with Tricia. I will either be back with her or without her. It may take a while because I don't even know how to bring this up to her," I told mom.
"It's fine we will be here when you get back," she said. I nodded and began walking from the room with a heavy heart.
"Daniel," mom called out to me. I turned to her to see tears welling up in her eyes.
"I am so sorry Daniel. I am sorry I wasn't enough to keep him here for you and Jenn," she said in a sob as tears began rolling down her cheeks. I ran over to her and wrapped my arms around her as she still sat in the chair cradling Christine. After a few minutes of comforting mom she finally stopped crying and began sniffling the tears away.
"He wasn't enough for us mom. I can't believe I was such a brat for so long. I love you and I am sorry. I know that doesn't make up for everything Ive done but I will make it up to you I swear," I said. She only nodded with a slight smile as she began wiping her face.
"Take your time with Tricia and be honest with her, like I should have been with you all along," she said to me and I understood what she meant. Lying about reality doesn't make matters any better or less painful.
"I will," I said as I kissed mom's forehead and the top of Christine's head. My whole world has changed within the matter of a few hours and I feel practically numb from the onslaught of information and emotions that have surfaced. Now, I have to see if I can convince the woman I love to not only marry me but help me raise my daughter. One question did enter my mind, why did mom choose now to tell me the truth?
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So whatcha think? Not much action this chapter but this was needed I promise :)