"Hello?" He answered the call.
"Where are you?" Nigel's slightly frantic voice came tumbling down the line. "We're having a few technical difficulties with the lights and to top that off the sound guy spat the dummy and has left us with only one usable microphone. So, tonight your background singers won't be seen or heard."
"Oh." Alessandro struggled to feel concerned. He didn't know what was the matter with himself lately. He was too young to be having a mid-life crisis and yet too old to be acting like a reckless child.
His whole life, for the last twenty years, had been geared toward world domination - well at least on a musical level. And now... he felt nothing for it.
"Do you know when you will get here?" His frantic PA asked.
"I'm just leaving the river now, I'll be there in five minutes."
"Right," the voice was judgmental.
He knew that they'd started wondering. When no one could find him propping up the bar in the Very Important Person section of the Manor, drowning his endless sorrows in aged whisky, he knew that they must have begun to wonder who the woman was.
Alessandro figured it would be a nice change for them, they had been baffled by his slight depression... like, with as much money as he had, how could he complain about anything?
He could understand that. They had to worry about important things. Like if they failed to impress their boss they might be down the street with no name to cling to - struggling to pay their power bill.
If someone canceled a contract with Alessandro then all he needed to do was sell a house or cash up some shares. If worse came to worst then he could sell his story of woe to a reputable newspaper and walk away with a tidy sum.
But what they forgot to consider was at the end of the day they went home to their partners and kids and no-one bothered them. He on the other hand went home to nobody except for (on the odd occasion) a mass of paparazzi hounding him. He was lonely. Achingly lonely. When women fell in love with him they didn't fall in love with Daniello Bellucci they fell in love with the enigma of Alessandro Magno. They saw him in cologne ads and modeling all kinds of men's attire and they thought he was something he was not.
Every woman he'd dated since he was sixteen years old imagined him to be some kind of demigod. The moment he'd failed to be as relaxed, charismatic and carefree as he came across in marketing - and instead was forever taking calls in the middle of dinner - they'd left him. Some silently left and others blackened his name in the process. Sure to line their own pockets one last time.
Alessandro's jaw twitched. He'd thought twenty years ago that it was all a little too much, but now he had social media to contend with and Alessandro Magno lookalikes determined to get their kit off and put his name to their naked photos. He had hired not one but three PRs in separate parts of the globe who were constantly contacting him about some new fiasco that was brewing. Lately he had even failed to take their calls.
He was forgetting about Alessandro and reconnecting with Daniello. Daniello the young sixteen year old boy that had been overwhelmed by the greatness of his alter ego. So oppressed that he'd almost disappeared.
And then she'd breathed life into that man again.
Alessandro's tyres crunched through the gravel as he steered his car into the vineyard's back entrance. He could see the stage and lights from all the way back here, snug in the midst of the vines of prime pinot noir grapes. He could see Nigel advancing quickly. In one hand he held a copy of the local paper and in the other a small glass of warmed cognac. Alessandro thumped his head on the steering wheel in shame. What would Lucy think if she could see the demands he made on his staff?
He could almost hear her appalled laughter.
"Here you go," Nigel passed him the two offerings as soon as Alessandro had slammed the car door shut.
"Thank you so much, Nigel. I'm sorry I keep making you find these crazy things wherever we go when realistically I don't need them. Don't worry about finding them in the future."
"Oh." Nigel was shocked. "Ok, Boss."
#
"Are you hungry?"
"No, of course not." Her tummy rumbled obnoxiously.
"You haven't been eating have you?" Daniello asked, an accusing tone in his voice.
"I don't need anything. I'm fine. Besides, I've been on a carrot detox." Lucy glanced down at her fingers. She wondered if anyone else noticed that they were turning a strange shade of orange. A combination of henna and over consumption of carrot juice.
"Well I think we'll have to find a late night restaurant on our way home."
"I don't usually like paying money to use other people's cutlery..."
"We can put it down as a work expense."
"I'm not sure a restaurant would serve me looking like this."
"Oh you are quite right." Daniello fell silent. His eyes glued to Lucy's hair. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is that in your hair?"
"This?" Lucy asked, holding out a mud slicked dreadlock. "Henna. It is a natural hair dye. It coats your hair in color for half the price... and it doesn't hurt the planet. Well, except for the fuel it takes to fly it across the globe."
"Wow. And how long do you have to walk around with that goop on your head?"
"I usually leave it on for about twelve hours."
"Twelve hours? Doesn't it get everywhere?"
"No," Lucy said. And then spotted goop on his custom made leather car seats. She wiped it off discreetly. "Well kind of, but I usually wear this hat." She held the plastic shower cap up for her acquaintance to see. "Only it looks a little bit weird wearing it. I didn't want to catch the murdering rapists attention."
"And having mud in your dreadlocks isn't going to catch anyone's attention?"
"Most people think if you have dreadlocks you never shampoo anyway so probably they'll just assume I let myself go bush a little."
"Pardon?"
"Go bush... you know... feral."
"Right. Well, you don't mind if I ask you to wear the hat do you? Only I'm worried that you'll leave that mud everywhere and I'll lose resale value."
"Sure thing detective Daniello." She pulled the cap on. "I've been thinking about another way to make money."
"Yes?"
"I'm thinking of getting babysitting jobs. Maybe all of the rich people around this place need someone to look after their kids while they ski the slopes."
"Great idea! Do you like kids?"
"I'm not sure. I've never really had anything to do with them."
"Ok... so I guess that crosses off nannying for babies because you might need experience."
"Well I'd be better looking after school kids ... with high energy... that would probably be my speciality."
"Sure. You could put an ad online." Daniello offered.
"Well... I'm not sure how."
"We can use my phone." He fished a cell phone from his pocket and handed it to her.
"That is all well and good but who do I call?"
"No one." He stared at her in confusion. "We just go online and post an advertisement."
"The only reason I asked is that you passed me your phone. Why would you hand me your phone if we weren't going to call anyone?"
Daniello chuckled in shock. "I forget how much you don't know about technology. This is a phone... but it is also a camera and a computer so I can use the internet, make a call or take a photo. I can even see the person I'm calling if I want."
Lucy stared down at the phone in her hand in something akin to horror. "Really? You can actually see the person you are talking to? How much does something like this cost?"
"This was just under two thousand dollars."
Lucy started laughing. "Two thousand dollars? You got ripped off! I have a camera and a phone for less than a hundred dollars!"
"Yeah, but they wouldn't have the same clarity."
"Clarity?" She chuckled happily. "Whatever helps you sleep at night. And what happens if you lose this?" She held the phone aloft. "Then you've lost THREE things at once."
"It doesn't matter because I have insurance on it." He snatched the phone out of her hand. "Here. Let me help you with that advert."
"Insurance?" she interrupted loudly. "On a phone? You basically pay someone each year-."
"Each week."
"You basically pay someone each week so that one day if your phone goes missing you can get a replacement? If you didn't pay that money then you could just save that up and buy a new one..."
"Interesting aspect. How is that working with your house bus?"
"Ouch. But really... a cell phone is a lot different from a house. Oh my god I struggle to understand you."
"Don't worry. The feeling is mutual."
"So," Lucy cleared her throat. Trying to change the conversation. "Where is the barn from here?"
"That way." Daniello pointed in the direction. "We drove into the property from the other side so I figured if we park over here we can still see the comings and goings but not be too visible."
Lucy noticed the large barn in the distance. Behind it Lucy could see the powdery white snow fields sparkling in the moonlight. "Beautiful view. Can you believe these low lives live here? So what are we doing now, Detective Daniello?"
"I figured we could sit here."
"Just sit here? There is a whole bounty of drugs hidden in that barn just waiting to be snooped through. No one is even home."
"You don't know for sure so you'll have to stay put."
"Pfft! Look at me! No one is going to ask me why I'm snooping through their barn. The first thing they'll ask is what I've done to my hair."
"That is true," Daniello conceded.
Lucy was off. Flying through the darkened paddock. Plastic shower cap crackling in the breeze.
#
She was scrounging around the outside of the barn when Daniello appeared ten minutes later. "Did you get bored?" She asked.
"Not at all. I just noticed a car heading up the track this way so I wanted to come and get you out of here."
"Oh right. I've found the guy's name," she revealed a letter. "Peter Giovanni. So this is the scum of the earth guy who is a murdering rapist drug lord."
"Yes."
Lucy glanced at him in confusion. She was almost sure she heard a tinge of doubt in his tone.
"Are you coming? We need to hurry!"
Lucy shook her head. "Uh uh. Now we have his name, we need to get in and check those suitcases."
"No Lucy. We need to get to the car right now."
She grabbed a high window with both hands and hauled herself bodily up and into the barn. "What we need to get is some info to pin this guy. I tell you what Detective Daniello... when you paid me five hundred dollars a night to help you then you got help. I will get this guy come hell or high water."
"Lucy! We need a permit."
"Permit shmermit!"
"I can hear the car coming."
"Well go back to the batmobile. Honestly Daniello I can't think in here with all of your yapping."
"I can't leave you!"
"Of course you can. In case you haven't noticed I'm not a damsel in distress."
"You will be shortly," she could hear him snarl. "Get. Out. Now."
"I'm unzipping the suitcase." She didn't care how close the vehicle was - she was so near to the luggage now that it would be a crime not to check it. The bag was lying on it's side. As she lifted the flap she found a covering of clear bubble wrap which she pushed to one side. Underneath she saw thousands of tiny zip lock bags packed tidily on top of each other. Swiping one she snuck it into a bra cup. There, she thought smugly, now if I get caught I will walk these drugs straight out under their noses! A car approached the barn. She could hear the engine clearly where she stood. Doors slammed and voices called out in greeting.
"Shit!" Rearranging the suitcase she rushed to the window and hauled herself up. Ripping pain seared her upper arms. She was half in and half out of the tiny window when the barn doors were roughly unlatched - and someone rolled the doors open.
"Peter!" The voice cracked the silence. "What the fuck is going on in here?"