JON / DEAN'S POV
WELL WE BOTH WENT IN SEARCH OF FINDING CLARISSA / TWINKLES TO MAKE SURE SHE WAS ALL RIGHT AND DREW DIDN'T HURT HER EVEN MORE . IT WAS IMPORTANT WE FOUND HER BEFORE DREW HAD THE CHANCE TO INFLICT MORE HARM ON HER .
WE ALL SAW THE BRUISES ON HER ARMS THAT WERE FADING BUT SHE TRIED TO KEEP HIDDEN FROM US . SHE HAS BEEN GOING THROUGH HELL ALL OVER AGAIN , EVER SINCE DREW ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM AND SHE ACCEPTED HIS PROPOSAL . EVEN HEATH HAS BEEN ACTING WEIRD AROUND HER AND THAT HAS GOT US ALL BUGGED . BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE BETWEEN HEATH AND DREW THEY KEEP CLARISSA TO THEMSELVES ........
I'M SO GLAD JOEY TOLD ME ABOUT WHERE I KNEW CLARISSA FROM . AFTER I KNEW WHERE I KNEW HER FROM I FELT RELIEVED TO KNOW I WAS RIGHT , AND I WASN'T IMAGINING HER BEING THE OLD CLARISSA WE ALL USE TO KNOW AND LOVE . AND I TRULY LOVE HER . I KNOW THAT NOW ......... GUESS I ALWAYS HAVE BUT WAS TO AFRAID TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT , BECAUSE BACK THEN SHE WAS WITH JOEY , AND I DIDN'T WANT TO MESS UP OUR FRIENDSHIP .
I WAS LOOKING FOR CLARISSA WHEN I HEARD HER SOFT CRIES AND THEN SAW HER CURLED UP IN A BALL IN THE CORNER OF THE HALLWAY WHERE NO ONE WAS BETWEEN THE EQUIPMENT BOXES ...........
SHE LOOKED SO SMALL AND FRAGILE SITTING THERE LIKE THAT .......... I ALSO NOTICED SHE HAD FRESH MARKS ON HER ARMS AND FACE . THAT PISSED ME OFF EVEN MORE THAN I ALREADY WAS ........ SO I SAW JOEY AND MOTIONED FOR HIM TO COME HERE , AND TO BE QUIET BUT TO LOOK AT HER BEFORE WE WENT OVER TO HER .........
JOEY SAW THE SAME THING I DID AND HE WAS JUST AS PISSED AS I WAS ........ HOW COULD DREW AND HEATH DO THAT TO HER ? I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT .............. THEY NEED A BEAT DOWN AND BOTH JOEY AND I WOULD DO IT , OR IF NOT ME AND JOEY , THEN ME , ROMAN , AND SETH WOULD .
SO WE BOTH WENT OVER TO HER AND SAT ON EACH SIDE OF HER AND LET HER CRY IT OUT ........... WE EVEN TOOK THE PUNCHES SHE THREW AT US , BECAUSE WE KNEW SHE NEEDED THIS RIGHT NOW ...........
JOEY'S POV
OH MY GOD ......... I'M GOING TO KILL DREW AND HEATH FOR HURTING TWINKLES . WHAT THE HELL POSSESSED THEM TO LEAVE MARKS ON HER . SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG ..........
SEEING HER LIKE THIS BROKE MY HEART , AND I KNOW JON WANTS TO KILL THEM ABOUT NOW AFTER SEEING HER LIKE THIS .......... I KNOW HOW JON FEELS ABOUT CLARISSA , AND TO BE HONEST I THINK SHE FEELS THE SAME ABOUT HIM , SINCE THEY OBVIOUSLY FLIRT BUT IN A FRIENDLY WAY SINCE SHE'S WITH DREW , AND HEATH , WELL MORE DREW THAN HEATH .
WE BOTH DECIDED TO WALK OVER SLOWLY TO HER AND SIT ON EACH SIDE OF HER AND LET HER CRY HER HEART OUT , AND TAKE THE PUNCHES SHE WAS THROWING OUR WAY . SHE NEEDED TO LET THIS ALL OUT , AND WE JUST SAT THERE WITH OUR ARMS AROUND HER LETTING HER LET IT ALL GO .
JON LOOKED AT ME AND I LOOKED AT HIM AND WE KNEW SHE HAD TO LEAVE . THERE WAS NO OTHER CHOICE NOW . NOT AFTER THIS ........ WE HAD TO GET HER AWAY FROM DREW AND HEATH AND THIS ABUSE THEY WERE ENFLICTING ON HER .
AFTER SHE CALMED DOWN SOME SHE PUT HER HEAD ON JON'S CHEST AND ASKED .........
WHY DO I HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN ? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG ........ HE PROMISED ME HE WOULD STOP ........ THEY BOTH DID .......... WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME THAT I CANT FIND SOMEONE WHO LOVES ME , AND WON'T HURT ME ? MAYBE I DON'T DESERVE TO BE LOVED BECAUSE I'M SUCH A BAD PERSON ........ BUT I JUST ........ I JUST ..........
JON HAD HER HEAD LAYING ON HIS CHEST AND WAS RUNNING HIS ONE HAND THROUGH HER HAIR WHILE RUBBING HER BACK AT THE SAME TIME . IT BROKE MY HEART TO SEE HER LIKE THIS AND SAYING WHAT SHE JUST SAID ..........
I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING BUT AT THE SAME TIME , I WANTED TO KEEP HER WITH US SO SHE WAS ALL RIGHT AGAIN . BUT IN MY MIND I KNEW WE HAD TO GET HER OUT OF HERE SAFELY AND ONE OF US HAD TO GO WITH HER THIS TIME . SHE'S TOTALLY SHATTERED AND BROKEN AND EVEN MORE THIS TIME THAN WHEN I LEFT HER YEARS AGO .
TWINKLES , HONEY IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY ........... WE WONT LET THEM HURT YOU ANYMORE . DEAN AND ME ARE GONNA GET YOU OUT OF HERE . YOU DON'T DESERVE THE WAY THEY HAVE BEEN TREATING YOU .
CLARISSA , YOU'RE NOT STAYING WITH EITHER OF THEM ANYMORE ............ YOUR GOING TO BE STAYING WITH JOEY AND ME , OR ONE OF THE OTHER GUYS ......... I CAN'T STAND BY AND SEE YOU GET HURT LIKE THIS . IT'S BRAKING MY HEART BECAUSE I CARE MORE THAN YOU KNOW SWEETHEART .
BUT ......... BUT ......... I ...... I ...... C ...... C ....... CA .......... CAN'T . I ...... I ....... I...... D...... D........ DO......... DON'T DESERVE YOU GUYS BEING SO NICE TO ME . I DO..... DO....... DON'T DESERVE IT .......
SHE WAS SHAKING AGAIN AND JON LOOKED AT ME LIKE TO SAY WHAT NOW ?
I HAD AN IDEA OF HOW TO SNAP HER OUT OF THIS ........ SO JON PICKED HER UP AND CARRIED HER TO OUR BUS , AND SAT HER BACK DOWN ON THE SOFA WITH HER STILL IN HIS ARMS . WE BOTH KNEW SHE NEEDED TO KNOW WHO DEAN REALLY WAS , SINCE WE HAVE BEEN KEEPING IT FROM HER FOR MONTHS .
JON LOOKED AT ME AND I NODDED AND WALKED AWAY SO HE COULD TELL HER HIMSELF . I KNEW HE'S ALWAYS HAD FEELINGS FOR TWINKLES (CLARISSA) , AND SINCE THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER AGAIN HIS FEELING'S FOR HER ONLY GOT DEEPER . HE NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT HER AND HOW MUCH SHE MEAN'S AND MEANT TO HIM . PLUS I COULD TELL SHE HAD FEELINGS FOR JON STILL , ESPECIALLY SINCE WE ALL BECAME FRIENDS AGAIN . PLUS SHE TOLD ME SHE'S BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT HIM LATELY , AND WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM AFTER THEY LOST TOUCH ..........
JON / DEAN'S POV
I KNEW THIS TIME I HAD TO COME CLEAN AND TELL HER WHO I WAS REALLY . MAYBE IT WOULD SNAP HER OUT OF THIS DEPRESSION SHE'S IN . JOEY WALKED AWAY SO WE COULD HAVE SOME ALONE TIME . I KNEW IT WAS NOW OR NEVER , DO OR DIE TIME ......... SHE WOULD EITHER HATE ME OR LOVE ME ALL THE MORE .........
CLARISSA HONEY LOOK AT ME PLEASE ......... LET ME SEE THOSE BIG BROWN EYES OF YOURS . I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING HONEY ........... PLEASE LOOK AT ME ..........
SHE LIFTED HER HEAD AND LOOKED AT ME WITH THOSE HUGE BIG BROWN EYES OF HER THAT HELD SO MUCH EMOTION IN THEM ....... ALL THE HURT AND PAIN , THE SORROW , AND LOVE SHE FELT .
CLARISSA , DO YOU REMEMBER A GUY FROM YOUR PAST THAT YOU USE TO LOVE TO TORMENT EVER CHANCE YOU GOT , BUT HE ALWAYS TORMENTED YOU BACK THE SAME WAY ........ AND HE DIDN'T PUT UP WITH YOUR ANTICS ........
CLARISSA WAS THINKING HOW COULD DEAN POSSIBLE KNOW ABOUT JONATHAN ? AND WHY IS HE BRINGING THAT UP NOW ? SURE I'VE BEEN THINKING MORE AND MORE ABOUT JONATHAN AND HOW MUCH HE AND DEAN ARE ALIKE . . . . . AND IF I'M HONEST WITH MYSELF , I'VE GOT STRONG FEELINGS FOR DEAN , MORE THAN I DO FOR DREW OR HEATH .
DEAN WASN'T MAKING ANY SENSE IN WHAT HE WAS YET SAYING BUT WASN'T TELLING ME ..............
CLARISSA HONEY YOU STILL WITH ME HERE ? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT GUY ?
I COULDN'T SPEAK I WAS SO CONFUSED AND DIDN'T WANT TO HEAR ANYMORE ........ I COULDN'T . BECAUSE WHEN I LOOKED UP I SAW IT IN HIS EYES ........... HE WAS MY JONATHAN THAT I'VE BEEN MISSING ALL THESE YEARS ........ I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT HE WAS HERE WITH ME ALL THIS TIME AND I DIDN'T RECONISE HIM . HE HAS CHANGED A LITTLE BIT . BUT HE'S STILL MY JONATHAN ........ THE SAME MAN WHO LOVED TO TORMENT ME AND DIDN'T TAKE MY CRAP ........... NO HE GAVE IT RIGHT BACK , AND LOVED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT THINGS NO MATTER WHAT I DID .
WHEN I LOOKED INTO HIS EYES AGAIN ALL'S I SAW WAS THE LOVE HE HAD FOR ME . ALL THOSE YEARS LOST BETWEEN US ............ I JUST DIDN'T THINK ABOUT WHAT I DID NEXT ......
SINCE I WAS STILL IN HIS ARMS I JUST KISSED HIM . I THINK HE WAS SHOCKED AT FIRST BUT THEN HE WENT ALONG LETTING ME DO WHATEVER I WANTED . I KISSED HIM SOFTER AND WANTED TO DEEPEN THE KISS , TO FIND OUT WHY I WAS FEELING THESE SPARKS BETWEEN US NOW AFTER ALL THESE YEARS ...........
IT WAS A FEW MINUTES LATER WHEN WE BROKE APART FROM EACH OTHER AND THE KISS SINCE WE BOTH NEEDED AIR ......... I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT I WAS ACTUALLY KISSING MY JONATHAN AND IT FELT EVEN BETTER THEN I EVER IMAGINED . WITH JONATHAN THINGS ALL SEEMED RIGHT AGAIN . I WAS HAPPY AGAIN ALL OF A SUDDEN TO KNOW HE WAS HERE WITH ME , AND HE LOVED ME AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS .
JONATHAN ........... MY JONATHAN ............ YOU'RE HERE .......... I WHISPERED WHILE I HAD TEARS IN MY EYES AND JUST BURIED MY FACE IN HIS NECK , AND HUGGED HIM WITH ALL THAT I HAD LEFT IN ME .
YES CLARISSA YOUR JONATHAN , FOR AS LONG AS YOU WANT ME SWEETHEART . I GUESS IN A WAY I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN YOUR'S , I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO MESS UP OUR RELATIONSHIP AS FRIENDS . YOU MEAN AND MEANT TO MUCH TO ME ........
JONATHAN WH ...... WHA ........ WHAT AM I G ..... G ....... G ........ GO ........ GOING T ......T ....... TO....... D...... D ...... DO NOW ? I C ........C .......CA .......CAN'T DEAL WITH THEM ANYMORE ......... I ..... I ..... I ....... DON'T WANT TO LEAVE . B..... B..... B ....... BU....... BUT I'M AFRAID IF I STAY IT WILL JUST GET WORSE . I DON'T WANT TO .....
DON'T WANT TO WHAT SWEETHEART ? YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE STAYING WITH THEM TONIGHT OR ANY OTHER NIGHT ANYMORE . YOU'RE STAYING WITH ME . I'M NOT GOING TO LET THEM HURT MY GIRL ANYMORE , YOU DON'T DESERVE THAT . YOU MY DEAR SWEET ONE DESERVE TO BE TREATED LIKE A PRINCESS THAT YOU ARE . AND I INTEND TO SPOIL YOU ROTTEN EVERY CHANCE I GET TO .......... I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO ANYTIME SOON SWEETHEART . SO JUST GET USE TO THAT IDEA ..... ****KISSES ME AGAIN **** YOU'RE MY GIRL NOW , AND I'M NOT LETTING ANYONE HURT YOU EVER AGAIN SWEETHEART .
B ........ B ......... B ......... BU........... BUT I ..........
HE PUT HIS FINGER ON MY LIPS TO SHUSH ME UP , KISSED ME AGAIN WITH A PECK ON THE LIPS , AND LOOKS ME IN THE EYES AND SAYS *
NO BUT'S YOUNG LADY .......... YOUR MINE AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT ......... LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME YOU'RE NOT MY GIRL , OR THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH ME LIKE THAT AND I WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE IF YOU CAN HONESTLY DO THAT .........
I SHOOK MY HEAD AT HIM IN THE CROOK OF HIS NECK ............ WHISPERING ALMOST
I ...... I ...... I ........ C .......C ........ CA ........CANT DO THAT JONATHAN . Y .....Y .... YO ....... YOU'RE RIGHT ........ I ....... AM YOUR'S , IF I'M COMPLETELY HONEST , I'VE ALWAYS BEEN YOURS EVEN WHEN I WAS WITH JOEY .........
BUT JONATHAN , I ......... I NEED TO BREAK THINGS OFF WITH DREW FIRST ........ W .......W ..... WOULD YOU GO WITH ME WHEN I DO THAT P ...... P ........ PL ....... PLEASE ........ ? I DON'T THINK I COULD HANDLE DREW AND HEATH AGAIN ALONE ...........
CLARISSA SWEETHEART I HAVE TO ASK .......... WHAT DOES HEATH HAVE TO DO WITH ALL OF THIS ? WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN THE THREE OF YOU PRINCESS ? I NEED TO KNOW SO I CAN PROTECT YOU ........
JONATHAN IT'S A COMPLICATED STORY .......... BUT I'LL TRY TO EXPLAIN IT AS BEST I CAN , SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND AS WELL . BUT THIS IS BETWEEN YOU AND ME ..........
SURE PRINCESS ........ NOW TELL ME PLEASE ......... ?
WELL WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL AFTER I BEAT UP JOEY , I WAS HAVING REALLY BAD FLASHBACKS FROM THE DARKER DAYS IN MY LIFE . DOUG GAVE ME MEDICINE TO SEDATE ME ENOUGH SO I COULD RELAX , SINCE DREW HAD YELLED AT ME WHEN I TOLD HIM ABOUT JOEY AND HIM KISSING ME BACK THEN . DREW AND HEATH WERE THERE FOR THAT . DOUG SAID THE ONLY WAY I CALMED DOWN AND RELAXED , WAS IF THEY WERE EACH ON A SIDE OF ME AND HOLDING ME , UNTIL I CALMED DOWN .
I DIDN'T LIKE THAT IDEA TOO MUCH BUT DOUG SAID IT HELPED . THAT'S HOW THINGS STARTED ANYWAYS ........
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ?
WELL IF YOU WOULD LET ME FINISH I'LL TELL YOU THE REST OF IT ...........
I WAS HAVING VIOLENT FLASHBACKS FROM WHEN I WAS IN DARKER TIMES AND WHEN I WAS KIDNAPPED AND PUT THROUGH HELL AND BACK OVER SEAS ........... DOUG TOLD DREW AND HEATH THAT SINCE THEY WERE THE ONLY 2 I WOULD CALM DOWN WITH LIKE THAT , THEN THEY WOULD BOTH HAVE TO STAY WITH ME FROM THEN ON ..........
AT FIRST THINGS WERE FINE , AND HEATH NEVER TOUCHED ME OTHER THAN TO CALM ME DOWN ......... THEN A FEW WEEKS LATER BOTH HIM AND DREW STARTED TO GET MORE HANDSEY , AND TOOK LIBERTIES THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE ............. AND EVERY TIME THEY SAW ME WITH ONE OF YOU GUYS THEY WOULD MAKE IT MUCH WORSE THE NEXT TIME ..........
I WAS CRYING AGAIN AND SHAKING REALLY REALLY BAD IN JONATHAN'S ARMS ........
I COULD TELL HE WAS GETTING PISSED OFF . NOT AT ME BUT AT DREW AND HEATH FOR DOING THAT TO ME ............
HE TIGHTENED HIS HOLD ON ME AND KISSED THE TOP OF MY HEAD ........ BEFORE HE CLOSED HIS EYES AND SIGHED A DEEP BREATH .......... I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO ASK ........ BUT I WAS REALLY HOPING HE WOULDN'T ............
D.......... DID THEY BOTH ..........? I COULD FEEL HIM SHAKING ALMOST LIKE HE KNEW THE ANSWER BEFORE I TOLD HIM ............
I NODDED AND HE JUST HELD ME TO HIM ALL THE TIGHTER . LIKE HE WAS AFRAID I WAS GOING TO LEAVE HIM AND NOT COME BACK OR SOMETHING ........ I WAS STILL CRYING AND I FELT LIKE I DIDN'T DESERVE JONATHAN OR ANYONE ELSE ............ I WANTED TO RUN AND HURT SOMETHING ........... NAMELY ME ............
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SORRY ABOUT THE CLIFF HANGER BUT I'M TIRED AND ILL WRITE MORE LATER ........ THIS CHAPTER WAS HARD FOR ME TO WRITE FOR SOME REASON .......... EVERY TIME I HAD AN IDEA I WOULD GO BACK REREAD IT AND THEN EDIT .......... THEN GO BACK AND REWRITE IT ALL OVER AGAIN..........
SO YOU GUYS KNOW THE DRILL ......VOTE..... COMMENT.......FAN