I huffed shoving the last of my clothes into the suitcase. I'm probably over packing but I don't really care right now. All I know about this weekend is that I'm going to New York and meeting Kiara there. She won't tell me what she has planned, where we're staying or anything like that. The only thing I know is that I'm flying there in later today and I only just finished packing.
Yesterday was Thanksgiving, not that me and Justin celebrate it much. We spent it with Scooter, Yael and their son Jagger. It was pretty amazing to see how things between them flowed and how they just managed even when Jagger was starting to fuss and whine. They were honestly the cutest family and Yael even gave me this smoothie recipe which helped her when she would feel nauseous when she was pregnant with Jagger.
Justin had been acting very strange for the last kind of month. He's been particularly quiet and stressed out this last week, disappearing randomly or not being here when I wake up on the mornings. He's been working out a lot too and it's starting to really worry me and I don't really care if I'm over reacting. I'm now 20 weeks pregnant and everything seems to be getting more real, the last thing I need is for him to distance himself from me. I need to find out why he's acting so strange.
I felt little butterflies in my tummy making me smile and place my hand softly on my now slightly large bump. I was still fairly small for this stage in pregnancy but I wasn't concerned. My nurse said that this often happens and I'll either stay small or blow up like a balloon (oh joy) in the next few weeks. We had an ultrasound yesterday and really I was lucky that Justin was around to come. Usually you find out the sex of the baby at that ultrasound but I thought it would be good to have a little bit of a surprise so we decided not to find out even though the opportunity was there.
I lift up the side of my suitcase letting it fall closed and didn't bother to zip it before heading down the hall and down the stairs. Surprisingly as I slowly descended the stairs Justin was sat on the couch, his phone in his hands as he quietly hummed a tune to himself. Sighing in relief as I reach the bottom of the stairs I wander over to him and sit beside him.
I'm going to do this now. "What's up?"
"Nothing." Was his grumbled reply which had me rolling my eyes.
"I'm really worried about you." I admit with a quiet sigh leaning into his side. He was overly quiet and didn't make an effort to reply, however his arm did wrap around my shoulders and hold me closer to him. The action was calming but didn't give me peace of mind. "Has something happened?" I asked nibbling on my lower lip as Justin huffed probably realising I wasn't going to let this go this time. "Did I do something?" I ask but receive silence as a reply.
"Charlotte Just leave it." He snaps suddenly and I narrow my eyes at him.
"No. What's going on?" I ask again my tone softer this time as I cup Justin's cheek forcing him to look in my eyes.
"I don't want to tell you." He says lowly, worry pooling in his eyes and I almost pout for him.
"You can tell me anything." I promise my lips brushing his for a brief moment before I pull away. I link my fingers with his as though trying to comfort him that I'm still here and he can talk to me. "I'm here so you can be less stressed out I don't want you to bottle shit up." I try not to, I really do but I find myself getting more and more upset the more we stay on the topic and soon my bottom lip was wobbling slightly as though I'm a 3 year old child.
"Stop it, Charlie." Justin says softly clearly seeing my sadness as he wraps both his arms around me and holds me close to him. My fingers grab onto his shirt, twisting into it to pull him closer ensuring he can't get away from me. Not now. "I'm just being stupid."
"Yeah well, tell me why you're acting so strange and I can at least tell you how stupid you are." I grumble my face still tucked into his chest, my fingers grasping tightly onto the soft material of his shirt. Justin breathes in deeply, running his hand through my finger and down my neck.
"People expect so much of me and at the same time they're waiting for me to fail." His voice is quiet and I'm still in his arms too scared that if I move he'll try to change the topic. "I feel like... there's a lot of pressure on me and I'm the one creating it. I have to be there for you and our baby but I also have to do stuff for myself." Justin speaks quietly and I nod picking myself up and sitting up straight up opposite him.
"I'm scared I'm not gonna be a good Father." It's almost as though I can feel my heart twinge in pain. The last thing Justin could be would be a bad father, he already shows so much love for our baby and Marshmallow isn't even born yet. "When I was young mine wasn't around too much, I don't really have anything to go on. For a long time all I had was my Mom I'm not sure I'll be good enough." My eyes soften because he's having the same doubts I had around three months ago now. Only the fact that he was too scared to admit it made my heart ache slightly with hurt. I'm not sure if it's because I'm offended he's not sure he can talk to me about these things or because he's been going through all of this on his own.
"Have you told anybody else this?" I ask my tone soft as I try not to push him too far. His head nods slowly and it's then I feel slightly betrayed but at the same time relieved. I'm not sure what to feel. Is it bad of me to be feeling like this? Maybe I'm just a really selfish person.
"I've been going to therapy." He admits quietly. "There's this guy and he's really smart and he just helps me put everything in perspective."
"That's good." I try my best to comfort him. I'm honestly shocked Justin hasn't said anything for this long and honestly a little hurt.
"I-i...I've been smoking." Justin says sheepishly and I pause my lips parting for a moment.
"Okay."
"Not a lot. Just one or two a day." I nod at his words showing I've understood. "It was just to help me cope and-" I cut Justin's slightly stuttered words off with my lips. He kisses me back with a strong sense of passion which seems to comfort me, his warmth spreading through my body the connection being exactly what we needed.
"If you need to do that, go ahead." I whisper against his lips, my forehead resting against his as I feel Marshmallow shift once more in my stomach. She hadn't yet kicked but from what I'd read online that wasn't a concern. "Just try to stop at least? For when the baby's born?" I ask and Justin nods slowly his eyes so full of emotion they hold me to him, I couldn't go anywhere even if I wanted to. "You are going to be perfect. Stop doubting yourself because you are going to be the best father ever. As long as you love our baby and care for it the best you can, you'll be a perfect Dad." I murmur nibbling on my lower lip as I cup Justin's face in my hands. "You already are." I promise my lips brushing his softly. Sunlight fills the room and Justin clears his throat awkwardly.
"I'm gonna go away this weekend, whilst you're in New York. Having a break could be good." He says scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as I nod.
"I think that's a great idea." I mumble as Justin huffs out a breath rolling his shoulders back. "You good now?" I ask and Justin nods in reply.
I ended up making grilled cheese sandwiches for Justin and I at lunch. For the rest of the day Justin played guitar by the pool and kept noting things down on his piece of paper and I'm only assuming he was writing a song. I'll let him work this out on his own until I have to leave. If there's one thing I've learned over the last few months it's that sometimes it's better to let people work things out on their own and make their own way through their problems rather than interfering.
I decide to try out the smoothie recipe, stick our new ultrasound photo onto the wall in Marshmallow's room. I'm just over half way and it's less than 5 months until our baby gets here which makes me realise we should probably start filling this room with stuff. So far it's just a set of drawers with a small pair of baby shoes in and 2 ultrasound photos on the wall. "You need to slow down so Momma and Dad can get ready for you." I whisper to myself my hand placed softly on my bump whilst I feel the soft flutters once more. "I love you." A small grin making its way onto my lips at the closeness I feel to my baby already.
It's kinda ironic considering how everything started off and thinking about where I am now. If you asked me three months ago if I would be okay with this I would've said you were crazy and yet now I'm actually excited and looking forward to just being able to hold my baby in my arms.
I head back down the stairs noticing it was 5 already and I had to leave in 20 minutes. Walking out into the back garden I shiver slightly feeling the cool air brush against my bare arms as I walk towards Justin. His eyes are focused on the strings of his guitar, the notepad and pen set down next to him and Esther curled up by his feet. "Baby?" I ask a shy smile on my lips. I feel like I'm interrupting something I really shouldn't be. I don't like him to feel like I'm interrupting these times when he's being all creative, that's for him.
"Hey!" He cheers a smile covering his face and his eyes trail up my body slowly. "You look beautiful." He promises and I feel my cheeks heat up with the compliment whilst I twirl on the spot jokingly. "Why have you got heels on?" He asks suddenly his voice firmer whilst I roll my eyes internally.
"Because they match my outfit?" I ask and recieve a glare in reply from Justin. He clearly isn't a fan of my shoe choice. "Nothing's going to happen, I'm on a plane for like 3 hours an-"
"Because that really helps." Justin chirps causing me to giggle and wave him away. "please just for today put some damn flat shoes on Charlie. You've got bags and you'll probably attack Ki." He huffs and I sigh. I mean, I guess he has a point.
"Okay Dad" I grumble trying my best to hide my quiet laughter as well as my eye roll. "Will you bring my bags down? My cab gets here in 15." Justin looks to me slightly wide eyed as though he didn't realise I was going so quick.
"Do you have to go so soon?" Justin asks reaching for my hand and pulling me forward slowly whilst shifting his guitar over to his side away from him. I stumble forward a little and Justin raises his eyebrow at me once more as though to say 'told you so'. His arms snake around my waist and pull me down onto his lap.
"Well if I want to make my flight, yeah." I mumble as his soft lips press a soft long kiss at the back of my ear. The lingering of his lips makes my cheeks heat up and a soft moan leave me, this is probably the most contact we'd had in 2 days and I was starting to go insane.
"It'll take me 30 seconds to bring down your cases, cancel the car I'll take you to LAX and then we have thirty minutes." Justin whispers quietly before peppering kisses down my neck. "Stay." He breathes against my skin and I whimper in reply having a mental battle with myself. I'll be pushing to make it if I leave any later but damn this feels so good.
Esther's loud barks pull my attention away from Justin and his hand which was tickling the skin on my hips and working its way up my short to my bra clasp. I huff coming out of my lust filled daze with a crash as Esther growls and barks from the house. "Fucking dog." Justin curses only just loud enough for me to hear a frown on his face making me laugh. Something about his face when he pouts like that is just so cute. I plant one final kiss on Justin's lips before pulling away from his body and standing up safely on the ground.
"I should probably go. Esther's probably barking at my driver." I pout tucking a few strands of my hair which had come loose behind my ear. I step onto the stepping stones laid down on the grass so I didn't completely ruin my shoes even though due to Justin's glares I'm going to be taking them off in a few minutes. It's probably for the best anyway, I mean, I could end up standing for a little while
I get in the house, kicking the shoes off my feet deciding to listen to Justin just this once. Five hours on a plane in heels and then walking around New York in heels probably isn't the best idea.
-
"Charlie!" A voice I recognised called my name making my head snap to the right just before I was almost tackled from my right side, a blur of blonde hair clouding my vision.
"Oh my god!" I squeal out of both surprise and happiness of being here in New York and actually seeing Kia for the first time in almost 3 months. I wrap my arms around her body squealing quietly whilst she laughs at me. As she pulls away she spots the tears beginning to cloud my line of vision and snickers at me.
"Look at you!" She coos her lips pouting whilst she looks at my bump. "I'd totally like weirdly kiss your stomach if there wasn't paparazzi outside." I scoff rolling my eyes.
"As soon as they see Justin's not here they'll go away." She clears her throat before laughing lightly.
"Babe, Justin posted a pic of you on Instagram two hours ago. They're not going away." My lips part at the news and apparently my face is priceless from the way Kiara is laughing at me. "People are convinced there was baby bumps so..." He's got to be joking. I swear, Justin chooses the wrong moments to announce these kind of things and even then he never tells me about them. "Yeah, I was the same." She laughs as I furrow my eyebrows. I don't even know if Justin's told his family about the baby, or our relationship.
"Are we staying at your apartment?"
"Well obviously." Ki replies with a duh tone in her voice which makes me laugh and roll my own eyes at the question. "I have a surprise for you though." I raise my eyebrows in questioning only to get flipped off by Ki as I do so. "Thank you!" Ki beams as somebody brings over my suitcase as she eyes me suspiciously. "You're so pampered." She grumbles shoving me playfully as I roll my eyes.
"I'm so pregnant." I reply sticking my tongue out at her making her laugh and shake her head.
We end up sneaking out onto the first floor of the airport car park without being caught by too many paparazzi, only one or two of them taking pictures when they spotted us and even then they pretty much kept their distance and actually knew the meaning of personal space which was good and a rare trait to find in them.
"I can't get over your bump!" She squeaks as she sits in the drivers seat of the car.
"Im still small." I pout and Ki waves me away. "I've really missed you." I admit as the car comes to life beneath us and Ki pulls out of the spot.
"Me too! Ive got nobody to shout at anymore."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"Shut up."
------------------------(unedited)-------------------
Yo wusgood IM BACK
I'm so sorry I took so long but I'm back updating like normal again I swear ❤️❤️ there's a bit of drama planned for the next chapter AS IN a character is coming back 😊😉 who do you think it is??
Thank you so much for all your reads, comments and votes. 120+ votes and 100+ comments for the next chapter please ❤️❤️
Love you byeeeee........Liv
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