Chapter 6
Something New, Something Old
I was sleeping for what seemed like forever. I don't recall even opening my eyes once. Maybe I was in a coma now, as well? No one seemed to come into whatever room I was in . . . it stayed quiet. There were no dreams, just me in a seemingly-sedated state of consciousness. I don't recall how I fell asleep. I don't . . . remember a whole lot. Komaeda was missing, right? Yes, that's right . . . I called the Future Foundation, but I don't remember who picked up or anything after that.
I wonder if they found Komaeda? Am I asleep because of what had happened to him, too?
Something inside my chest hurt whenever I thought about him . . . Why would I feel that way? I guess it could still be that selfish wish of us staying in his cottage or what exactly that feeling pinpointed from.
"Oh, Hajime . . ." a voice rang out in the darkness of my sleep. "I'm so sorry . . ."
Just then, I felt myself being held. A hand was placed on my head from behind.
"Chiaki . . . you're back." It wasn't until she placed her hand on my head did I feel an immense pain.
"You need to wake up soon, Hajime . . . They need you."
I swallowed, feeling a lump in my throat. I felt small, insignificant. "Who needs some normal person like me?" I curled more into Chiaki's embrace, soaking as much of it as I could.
"Well, Nagito, of course. Don't you know how sorry he is about what he did to you?"
I felt confusion. "Wh-What did Nagito do to me?"
Her hand delicately made its way to my head again, myself feeling immense pain. Making a connection, I felt tears stinging my eyes.
"Why did he do this?" I managed to ask.
"Because of our enemy, Hajime," she said in a sad tone, her touch caressing my head, soothing me as much as she could.
My heart seemed to sink more into my chest, fear starting to course through me. "Chiaki . . . D-Don't tell me . . . h-he r-reverted?"
Looking up at her, I saw a flash of something. It wasn't Chiaki.
"Chiaki? Wh-What was that?"
"Hmm, what do you mean, Hajime?" Her voice was changing . . .
This . . . This wasn't good.
. . .
Suddenly I woke up, jerking awake. I saw someone I wouldn't expect . . . holding me, as I dreamed Chiaki was.
"Oh, Hajime, you're awake!" Mikan squealed with excitement, ushering her hands under my arms to help me slowly get up. I felt immense pain in my head again. "Easy, easy. You surely have a concussion, Hajime, please, be careful."
My hand went up to feel my head, feeling the fabric of the long bandages wrapped around my head again.
"Hajime, do you know where Komaeda went? I-I heard this loud crashing sound, and I came rushing as fast as I could to see you passed out here! K-Komaeda ran out of the cottage before I could catch up to him. Th-Then I saw you, and I-I rushed to get bandages, and n-now . . ." Mikan started crying, wiping her eyes.
I then heard Sonia screaming.
"Mikan, go!" I shoved her, and she went. I worked my way as fast as I could to get out, too, but I fell onto the wooden planks, laying there, feeling my consciousness starting to fade again.
My vision was blurry and distorted. I weakly tried getting myself up, falling down a couple more times before I grabbed ahold of my mailbox, using it to help me up. My breathing was becoming short, wheezing was starting. I saw figures in the distance, but couldn't make out who they were. I looked around, trying to gain my composure if just a little before trying to walk.
Just as I was falling, I felt someone catch me.
Distant shouting, though I didn't hear what it was. I looked to see who I was leaning on, seeing his light hair, his green jacket. I eased more into his embrace, trying to relax at the thought of him being here. I didn't remember that he was actually the one who had made me like this. Little did I know he was actually holding a knife to my neck at the time, as well, but I only found that out later.
My arms reached around him one last time, and I fell unconscious again.
Apparently me falling unconscious brought his Ultimate Despair down a notch, and he finally looked to see that the knife he was holding had cut across my cheek while I fell. If any good luck was there, at least it didn't go across my neck. My eyes opened again. I regained consciousness much faster than before, surprisingly. I saw Nagito kneeling over me, his face blurry. It came into focus only once, and I saw such a terrified and hurt expression on his face as I felt tears drip onto me. Then he got attacked, two guys in suits restraining him back as his despair sunk in again. I heard his laughter fade in and out as I saw Mikan's figure above me. Then Sonia, Fuyuhiko, Akane, Souda . . . all the rest.
I saw two more men in black suits shoo the others out the way, and I felt myself being lifted into the air, my head falling back. My limbs felt limp. Numbness was coursing through my body.
The sky was moving ahead. I saw palm trees pass me by. The faces of the two men came into focus a couple times before I closed my eyes, feeling too tired and drained to keep myself awake anymore.
I fell unconscious again.
The next time I woke up, I was on a ship. In a room with one window, I felt the ship rock back and forth. I felt a strong headache, and a stinging pain on my cheek. I was laying on a cot, and opposite of me was Komaeda, on another cot. He had a mask on his face, one he used to have to give him oxygen. This time, however, it was to keep him calm.
I slowly sat up on the cot, having to have help from the wall.
Standing up with a severe dizzy spell, I stumbled over to Komaeda. His eyes were open, and he looked at me. His hand went up into the air, mine coming in contact with it. He held firmly onto it, looking at me with tears starting to form in his eyes.
"Hajime . . . I-I'm . . ." his voice was blocked slightly from his mask, but I understood what he was trying to convey.
"I know, Komaeda . . ." I sat down on his cot, he sat up with me.
His hand came to my face, running over my cheek's bandage, as well as my head bandage. He started weeping fiercely.
"Hajime I'm so sorry for doing this . . . I-- I have no idea what came over me. I'm . . . I'm so scared."
Though my head was pounding, and I did feel anger towards him, I let it go. I placed my lips upon his forehead.
"I don't . . . I don't know where we are going." I had to speak slow.
The boat continued to rock back and forth, taking us wherever it was destined to go.
I had a lingering question on my mind, "Komaeda . . . How did she get to you?"
He looked at me with tears still in his eyes, staying silent.
Taking in a breath, he began, "There . . . was a file, on my computer," his head leaned onto my shoulder, "Junko, Monaca . . . They were all there. All those damned kids and . . . all of us, the Ultimate Despair. I . . . I was trying my best to get rid of the file, but it wasn't deleting. I kept pressing the delete key and any method to try and get rid of it . . . but it was there. It just showed up, right on my desktop. It was a video . . . of all of us vowing to Junko. Conveying our every ounce of love and honor we had for her," he let out a sob, "So many bodies . . . So much despair. Who's side am I on? Why did I cut off my own hand to replace it with her's? Why did I fall for her brainwashing? Why did I do all of these things . . ." he was shaking badly. My eyes drifted slowly to his figure, seeing him starting to laugh in his mask.
I grabbed ahold of his shoulders, turning him towards me. "You better stay away from me, Hajime Hinata," his voice rang out with a cold, distant tone, "For some reason, I feel that I don't want to hurt you."
Placing my hand on his cheek, I looked into his eyes. Though the swirls were blocking them, I could still see the fear in his eyes of what was becoming of him again. Gently removing his mask, I placed my lips upon his, trying to return to times back on the island alone with him. I felt his hand move to the back of my head, the other moving to my back.
Letting him go, he continued to hold onto me, stuttering, "H-Hajime, I'm . . . I'm so scared." Tears continued to fall from his cheeks, I ran my hand over them. Easing the mask back onto him, I laid down beside him, him laying back with me.
I wrapped my arms around him, letting him curl into my chest. His breathing slowed, became more steady. Eventually, he fell asleep, as the sun set over the ocean. I kept my eyes on the window, looking out to see its last few moments before it disappeared completely. Breathing in his scent one last time, I drifted off to a restless sleep, as well.
All except, we were jerked awake by two men in suits busting into the room, dragging Komaeda by the collar out of the room. I sat up too quickly, my head became so dizzy to the point where I collapsed back onto the cot. I tried speaking, but it was only seeming to be slurred.
The room was blurry, I could hear my breathing becoming more slower than usual. And, unconscious I went.
I hoped, wherever the Future Foundation men took him, that he was safe. No experiments . . . please, just restoration, if anything.
. . .
The next time I awoke, I didn't feel the rock of the ship anymore. I was in what looked like a hospital room. Hm . . . How familiar. I heard the machines beeping, saw the fluorescent lights above. There was a window to my right, it was light outside.
"Oh, you're awake, Hajime?"
I turned my head to look to my left, seeing Makoto sitting beside my bed.
"Sorry to have brought you here like this . . . Those guys who brought you here are a bit new, still learning to not be so forceful."
I stayed quiet, listening as he continued, "I guess I'll be doing most of the talking, right? Well . . . I'm actually not supposed to be here right now. I'm supposed to be working upstairs, trying to defeat all of this despair and whatnot. Funny, huh? The so-called 'leader' is slacking off. If anything, I would think Kyoko would be the leader, don't you think?" He sighed, glancing ahead of him to the window.
"I'm sorry that this happened to you, Hajime. I knew Nagito could still have been unstable, as well with everybody, but . . . He was never like this, not even before he was apart of the Neo World Program, when he was still Ultimate Despair. He would still have the calm, selfless tone about him . . ."
Leaning back in his chair a little more, he still continued, "And if you're worried about that AI Junko taking over our system, don't worry. Alter Ego got her out in time before she corrupted us entirely. It was just, again, one of her tricks to lead you into despair," he glanced at me, "I guess you're wondering where he is, huh? Well, no need to worry about that, either. We just wanted to bring him here to keep him away from the island for a little while, where he's in a safe place and won't be corrupted by Junko while we're here, supervising him. Oh, I forgot to mention, too! We brought Mikan here, as well, to take care of you and him. We also wanted to bring her here so that way she can help us develop medicine to get rid of this despair syndrome completely, hopefully from everyone in the world. Though, we had to bring Ibuki with her, as well, since she seems to need her treatment the most."
Makoto stood up, going to stand by the end of my bed, "And then . . . we brought you here, because we found out some . . . information. But, I'll tell you that later. You need your rest now. If you feel the need to call, there's a phone on the table beside your bed. There's buttons for me, your nurse, as well as a few others. Rest well, Hajime." And then he opened the door, stepping out, and closed it behind him.
I don't know what I felt. Was it tiredness? Weakness? Fatigue?
Though I just woke up, I felt so mentally drained . . . I guess he was right, I did need more sleep.
Closing my tired eyes, I fell into a restless sleep.
I dreamed of one, long dream throughout my rest.
It was one where I was with Nagito on a carousel ride. It felt relaxing, and safe. The soft motions of the horses continued on in the circle, Nagito holding on with his eyes closed, a smile on his face. He was on the one black horse, the supposed one that was meant to be lucky. I was on a white horse beside his, the supposed one that brought serenity. I felt so free, so content . . .
If Chiaki was right about dreams becoming realities, I hoped, if anything, someday this one would become true.
It continued, endless, in the calming circle, the small motions of the horses continuing on as Nagito smiled on and on. Warmth and happiness were coursing through me, my body felt light, as if I were being controlled by nothing more than happiness, itself.
But, when I woke up, I felt the chill of the hospital room. I felt the bandages on my head, the one on my cheek. I felt the emptiness in my chest, the growing pain in my skull. And I felt a body, pressed up against my back, their small breaths on the back of my neck. Vanilla. I smelled vanilla. I felt arms around me, their light complexion.
I eased back more into his embrace, taking in as much of it as I could before the pain overtook my mind, forcing myself to sleep more.
An irresistible amount of comfort and love to give. A different personality, one that is affected by mental disorders. A love for hope. A hate for despair. A kind personality that hides the pain of loneliness deep inside. A fear of flying. A love of a carousel ride. A hobby of reading. A love for beautiful things. A lucky talent. A love for me.
A worthless existence. No talent. A liking for kusamochi. An average person. A reserve course student. A blunt personality. A stubborn way of thinking. A fear of losing someone he cares about most. A once thought belief that he could save everyone from despair. A love for him.
. . .
Were . . . we really meant . . . for each other?
His arms were still wrapped around me in my subconscious thoughts as I slept. Inevitable escape, I expected. I wouldn't really want to, in the first place. My body relaxed more as I slept.
The dream of the carousel came back to me throughout my sleep.
. . .
"Please, go ahead and say it, Makoto. What is this 'information' about me that you were talking about?" I was still strung up in my hospital bed, Makoto sitting beside it. I wasn't sure if myself feeling Nagito in my bed was real, or a dream.
"Well, Hajime, who said that the information was exactly about you?"
Just then, Mikan came in the room bearing a wheelchair.
"This is what you requested, r-right, Makoto?" she stuttered, wheeling it closer to the other side of my bed.
"Ah, yes, perfect timing, Mikan. I'll take him to where I want him to go, thank you." Mikan gave a small bow, helping me into the wheelchair. Makoto started guiding it, Mikan holding open the door before we left into the hallway. Ceiling-high windows, a beautiful garden just outside of it, dazzling tiles beneath us, nicely decorated . . . I felt as if I were in a dream of how beautiful this building was.
"Where . . . Where are you taking me?"
I heard him give a small laugh, "You'll see, Hajime. It'll be quite the surprise, I'm sure."
I hoped from the good-natured tone he was giving me, it would be good news.
We came to a set of automatic doors with windows near the top. Whenever I was wheeled into the room, at first it was dark. Only a medium, almost human-sized light shown just ahead of us. I couldn't make out what it was. When the wheelchair was guided closer, I realized it was like a big computer screen.
"You see, though Alter Ego has been hard at work with other projects, he can also multitask. Making, well, this." He was smiling at the dark green screen, and then tapped his finger on it.
A figure fizzled in the screen, revealing a familiar face.
"Hello, my name is Chiaki Nanami. It is nice to meet you. I am an AI created by my brother."
I was at a loss for words. She was right here, almost able to touch.
My hand was subconsciously being led to the screen, my fingers coming in contact with it. Her eyes were following them, and then she placed her hand where mine was, on the other side of the screen.
I felt my eyes stinging. I felt warm streaks sliding down my face.
A hand was placed on my shoulder, "And," Makoto's gentle voice rang out, "You get to take her back to the island with you. Though, she'll be in a smaller screen, of course. We decided to re-use the idea of the Student E-Handbook. But, it will be converted to her AI, as well as options for you to tweak her a little bit, if you'd like. She will be monitored by us and Alter Ego for any mistakes, and, well, she's company for you."
The lights flickered on above, exposing the rest of the room. Makoto went to the side of the screen, taking out what looked like a chip. The screen went black.
"This is her, Hajime," he handed me the chip, having a pink casing on it with the name "Chiaki Nanami" engraved in it. "And, don't worry if you lose her. We have back-ups."
I looked at him, his kind smile on his face as I held the chip in my hand.
Struggling myself to get up, I stepped slowly to him, hugging him.
"Makoto . . . thank you. Thank you so much." His hands hesitated towards my back, but they were placed there for a few moments before he let go, turning around. He messed with a box on a desk, and handed me the e-Handbook. I inserted the chip, tapping the screen twice, as Makoto had done.
"Hello, Hajime! How are you?"
She . . . She remembers me . . .
. . .
I guess when Makoto was talking about 'company for me', he was saying how lonely it would be in this hospital room. I've made the conclusion that myself imagining Nagito beside me that one night was, indeed, an imaginative dream. So, I stayed my nights up talking to Chiaki, herself.
"And then what happened, Hajime?"
I felt my cheeks blush for a moment at the thought of Nagito and I on the beach. "Well, we sat down, ate half a watermelon, and fell asleep. I know, not the most interesting story, right?"
She stayed silent for a moment, then said, "Well, it doesn't matter if it is an interesting story, it matters how much the story means to the storyteller." For a learning AI, she sure is smart. Thank you again, Alter Ego.
I gave a scoff against myself, "Yeah, I guess you're right, Chiaki."
A silence lingered in the air for a couple moments, before her voice spoke up again, "Tell me, Hajime, how much are you considering him?"
I felt a lump rise in my throat. I wondered why she would ask this.
"In all honesty? I . . . I think a lot. I . . . really care about him."
She smiled, looking out of the screen at me. "I will root for you all the way."
"Thank you, as always, Chiaki. I think I'll go to sleep now, goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Goodnight, Hajime. Sweet dreams." And I tapped the screen twice again, turning the screen off.
Though I said I was going to sleep, my mind said otherwise. I was still wide awake. My head still gave me pain sometimes, but I tried fighting the pain as I stood up. I made my way over to the door, peeking through the window. It was dark in the hallway. Opening the door, I stepped outside with my hospital robe and slippers. The only light was of the hospital rooms numbers on the doors, as well as moonlight peeking through the ceiling-high windows. Nobody was in sight.
I didn't know where to necessarily go, but I brought the e-Handbook with me in one of the robe's pockets. Turning to my left, I was looking into each of the rooms with a light on them, trying to see if I could possibly see Komaeda through the window.
Empty, empty, I can't see in this one, empty, someone I don't know, empty, empty, Ibuki, someone I don't know, empty, empty, empty . . .
I decided to turn back around. It wouldn't help me any to depress myself over not seeing him, and not being able to, in the first place. He was probably locked up in a secret room for them to keep tabs on.
The silence was surrounding me . . . there was no sound to be heard, only the muffled steps of my slippers on the tiles below. The hallway seemed endless ahead of me, even whenever Makoto guided me down this hallway, I never fully saw the end of it. For some unknown reason, I went past my designated room and continued walking.
I . . . enjoyed this silence very much.
So quiet and peaceful . . .
I'm not sure why I am enjoying this silence so much. I've had plenty of moments filled with silence. I would think I would be even more calm listening to the sound of the waves on the beach alone rather than me standing in this building, one filled with hospital rooms.
Empty, empty, I can't see in this one, empty, empty, empty, empty, it's too dark, empty . . .
My hand felt the wall first, then I slowly slid my back against it, sitting against the floor. I saw the moon outside, just beyond the window. I sat criss-crossed on the shining tiles beneath me, seeing my reflection. I still didn't like seeing what I saw looking right back at me.
My gaze went to the moon outside, yet again. And I closed my eyes, leaning my head back onto the wall behind me. Taking in a deep breath, I enjoyed the last few moments of silence I had before pain took over my head, leaving me to slump over to the side on the floor, unconscious.
. . .
The next couple weeks later, I was sent back to the island. When I was getting off towards the dock, everyone was waiting for me. Well, everyone being Akane, Sonia, Souda, and Fuyuhiko. They greeted me as I walked up the boardwalk, Sonia coming to hug me for a couple seconds before the rest bombarded me with questions.
Mikan wanted me to keep the bandages on for a little while longer. I felt my head throb whenever they spoke.
I put my hand up slightly, "H-Hey, is . . . is it okay if I go rest, guys? Just let me heal for a bit, okay?"
They looked at each other, then made way for me. I struggled as fast as I could towards my cabin. Opening the door, making my way over to my bed, and collapsing into it. Relief. Sweet, sweet relief. I felt something vibrate in my back pocket. The e-Handbook?
Sitting up, I brought the handbook to my vision, turning it on.
Within seconds, static went over the screen, a figure blurring in. It was . . . Makoto?
"Hajime, I'm sorry to bother you!" his voice was frantic, out-of-breath, "But there's been a big problem! A big, huge fucking problem!" The camera displaying him was shaky, and it was blurred in the background. He was running.
"M-Makoto? What's going on?!"
"Listen, I know you're probably on the boat right now--" he ducked, myself hearing a crashing sound afterwards. It looked at if there was a war zone behind him, "-- but Mikan, Ibuki, and Komaeda are gone! They're gone! We believe Mikan reverted back, and she took them to Monaca!" He stooped over, taking heavy breaths, "Go to the military base, please! Get every weapon you can, any tank, any airplane! Kaizuichi can help mostly with operating them, but you must guard the beaches! There's surely some boats filled with Monokumas coming back to you! Hurry, or it will be too--" And the screen cut off, static filling it again.
I heard a bomb.
I heard screams.
And soon my door was slammed open, myself running into all four of them. I said what I needed, shoving them towards the military base. I ran. I ran as fast as I could. We dodged the Monokumas. Kaizuichi started up three tanks, one airplane.
Little had we known that as we were getting suited up, the Monokumas were taking our comatose friends back on the boat they arrived on. And whenever I ran back to start destroying the Monokumas, all I found was an empty boardwalk, all the doors open. I ran quickly into each one, figuring that Monokumas were about to kill them.
But, once I turned around, I saw the beach in the distance, Monokumas jumping on the boat they arrived on in joy.
They had just recovered all the rest of her Ultimate Despair except for five of us.
Me, Kaizuichi Souda, Sonia Nevermind, Akane Owari, and Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu.
. . .
But, soon, she would have us, too.
. . .