***Chapter 36***
Ashton gapes at me.
“Ashton, I…” I start but he runs away in the direction of his dressing room, ignoring me. Of course, I follow.
“Ash…” I say once I caught up with him. I grab his arm and restrain him from running away and longer.
“How many other guys have you led on?” He asks bitterly, yanking his arm from my grasp. Whoa. I can see the distaste in his eyes.
“I didn’t mean to—“
“Just leave me alone.” He cuts me off angrily, through clenched teeth. “Mad at him one minute, snogging him the next. You’re unbelievable.” He spat, turning away from me and walking away.
This time I don’t follow.
He’s right, I think to myself. ‘How many other guys have you led on?’ His words linger in my head, leaving me to consider what he had meant.
I honestly didn’t mean to lead him on like that. I wanted to get to know him, maybe a little more than a friend if I wasn’t dating Harry.
How many other guys have I lead on? Niall, Zayn? I don’t think they would actually ever feel like that towards me, but I wouldn’t know for sure.
I was starting to become one of the girls I despised.
The kind of girl that flirts with everybody and can’t keep to one guy.
I’m starting to hate myself again.
No, I think. I can’t start that again. I feel like I’m messing up everyone’s lives.
That’s exactly how I felt when Adam died. I had killed him. He looked away from the road to look at me. It was my fault for distracting him. I’m the reason my best friend is dead. I couldn’t get this off my mind the first year after he died. I had to get it off my chest somehow.
I was 16 when he died and I took it very hard. Three years later, presently, I try really hard to not think about it.
October 17th. That was the first time I cut. I’m definitely not proud it at all. The cuts didn’t go very deep, so I wasn’t hurt severely in any physical way. Since I’m so close with my mum, I told her immediately about it and she talked some sense into me.
It’s been long since the scars have faded and I never imply on self harming again. If it wasn’t for my mum, I probably wouldn’t be here anymore. I promised her I would never cut again and I never intend on breaking that promise.
I needed to stop messing with everybody.
I take a minute to cool down before running down the hallway.
Not in the direction of Ashton, even though my mind told me to. I ran towards the Meet and Greet.
***
When I finally reach the room, I see a bulky security guard standing watch. Oh great, I thought. Just what I needed.
As he turns around, I realize it’s my uncle. I sigh in relief.
“Drew? You’re mum just called wondering how you were.” He said.
She did? My phone has been on silent all day so that’s probably why she called Paul. “Oh.” Is all I say, I desperately needed to talk to Harry. “I’ll call her back later. I need to talk to Harry. Like right now.” I say, looking over his shoulder in hopes of seeing him. Of course, I only see an endless line of fans waiting for their picture with the boys.
“I’m sorry about him.” Paul says out of nowhere. I give him a strange look, making it obvious I don’t comprehend what he’s saying. “Harry’s a handful.”
“You’ve got that right.” I say, rolling my eyes.
“Watch out, tough, He’s broken plenty of hearts. I didn’t want him touching you.” He says, crossing his arms over his chest.
“You don’t intimidate me.” I sass, putting one hand on my hip. Paul laughs. “Besides, we’re already ‘dating.’” I say but put air quotes around the last word.
“Well, that’s set up. That’s different. I don’t want him breaking your heart.” He says.
“I can handle him.” I say with all the seriousness I can muster up. “Can I go in?” I ask, pointing to the open door way.
“Sure.” He says stepping aside, allowing my entrance. “Maybe you should wait in line, so you know, nothing looks suspicious.” I nod, standing behind a girl at the end of the line with faded blue hair and ripped jeans.
I pull my phone out, dialing my mum’s number. It rings twice…three times…and goes to voice mail. Whatever, she probably fell asleep. Stupid time zones.
I instantly go on twitter because I have nothing better to do with my time. Literally.
@DrewAllisonMcCarthy: standing in line literally couldn’t be more boring.
Immediately, I get a bunch of replies. To be honest, I even think the blue-haired chick in front of me was replying.
I scroll though a bunch of tweets, guffawing at some of them. People think I actually care about hate? Good one. I see an icon that looks like her a bit and click on the profile. It says her name is Bella. I’ve always liked that named. I follow her and continue scrolling.
Nearly thirty seconds later, The ripped jeans, blue haired Bella in front of me is almost on the verge of tears. “Are you alright?” I ask her, putting my hand on her shoulder in a comforting way.
“Ohmygod.” She whispered more to herself than to me. She looked at me in shock. “You’re…her.” He manages to get out.
“Calm down, it’s not like I’m Ed Sheeran like someone talented.” I joke. Only in my dreams could I be someone as great as Ed.
“Are you kidding me? That Vine Harry made of you is literally perfection oh my god I just…Can I have a picture with you?” She asks, occasionally stumbling on her words.
“Vine? What?” I ask her, clearly confused. What vine?
“The one he took of you singing Someone Like You by Adele. You sounded amazing.” Bella says smiling.
“That little…” I whisper through gritted teeth. How dare he make a vine of me singing.
“Can I get a picture with you?” She asks.
“Of course!” I change my mood from irritated to kind in a matter of seconds.
We take a bunch of nice and silly pictures together and chat or a while because the line is taking forever. Turns out Bella likes a lot of the same stuff I do. She skateboards everywhere, she loves rock music and football.
After about an hour of just talking about anything, and everything, We’re finally at the front of the line. “You and Harry make the cutest couple.” She tells me. “Your different personalities compliment each others.”
We’ve been talking for over an hour and I feel like I know Bella really well. I consider telling her about Harry and I, the truth, that I don’t know what we really are. I feel like I can trust her, even though we just met. “I—‘’ I start to say but I am cut off.
“Next.” The security guard by the door says. I give Bella a quick hug and tell her it was very nice to meet her. She walks towards the door, practically jumping up and down because she was about to meet her idols.
A couple minutes later the guard yells next and I push through the door finding the boys, all standing there looking bored.
“Aren’t you excited to meet your fans?” I ask them. They all turn towards me, realizing it was me they smile, relief washing over their features.
“Of course we are.” Louis says, me walking over to where they were.
“But it gets tiring after a few hours.” Liam finishes. It’s cute how they can complete each other’s sentences.
“Well, there wasn’t much of a line left, maybe three or four people.” I tell them. They all sigh in relief.
“Just couldn’t stay away from us could you, babe?” Zayn smirks. I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest.
“No, actually I needed to talk to Harry.” I say, matter-of-factly.
“Or make out with Harry.” Louis snickers.
Harry’s cheeks go red and I punch Louis in the arm.
Harry grabs my hand and pulls me out of hearing distance, away from the boys. “What do ya need, love?” He asks, smiling. He’s cute. His cheeks are kinda still red, and that nickname is really growing on me.
“Well, I—‘’ I should’ve thought of what to say. This is a train wreck waiting to happen. “What are we?” I come right out with it and immediately regret it.
He is emotionless for a few seconds before his face turns confused. “I thought…” He trails off.
“It’s just…unclear.” I say, avoiding eye contact and playing with the rings on his long fingers.
It’s quiet for a while. Neither of us says anything. “I like you a lot.” He whispers breaking the silence. I don’t look up and just continue to observe how his slender fingers fit perfectly with mine.
“I think I like you, too.” I barely say.
“You think?” He questions quietly, interlocking our fingers, forcing me to look up at him.
“I like you, too.” I correct myself. He smiles widely and opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by the security guard at the other door.
“Ok, you’re time is up.” He says, gripping my shoulder tightly and forcefully shving me out of the room. I restrain as much as I can because I absolutely hate being man handled.
I step on his foot and bite his hand on my shoulder as I elbow him in the stomach and walk out of the room like nothing just happened. The guard screams out in pain and bends over because of that elbow to the gut.
I wave at the boys before leaving and walk back down the hallway to the boy’s dressing room. I surprisingly find it unlocked and enter just because I can. I see a phone plugged into the wall and a bunch of other stuff, like a hoodie, a beanie, and a guitar in the corner.
I walk over to the couch against the wall and flop down on t in hopes of finding sleep, unfortunately, Ashton’s words are still pressed into my mind.
How many other guys have you led on?
Leave me alone
You’re unbelievable.
I can’t loose Ashton as a friend just because I have no idea what’s going on with Harry.
THIS IS DRIVNG ME INSANE.
***
Updates will probably be every weekend, because thats really the only days I have time for this. :)
Hope you like where this is heading, I'm sorry this is just a filler.
Hey maybe do you want to check out my Calum Hood Fanfic called Seeing Life in Different Colors. I'm not going to update it until I've finished writing this fic, but proabably only a couple more chapters plus an epilogue on this one. :)
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 22K ILYASM
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