*Cara's Pov*
I was sitting in the cafeteria with Lisa and Max. They wouldn't stop grilling me on why I went to New York. I promised that I would tell the, so they cornered me and demanded information.
"Guys all I have to say is that Reid and I had a fight so I went to New York.I won't tell you what the fight was about but it was bad."I wished they would stop pestering me, I was not ready to tell the world about my relationship problems.
"So are you two not together anymore?" Lisa asked.
"It's complicated. We are together, but we still have a lot of things to work on." My heart stung but I took a deep breath. It was obvious that all of this drama was still affecting me.
"Well just incase you weren't, I was gonna say that I'm pretty available." Max winked. Lisa fake gagged in the corner.It was clear that Lisa was immune to his charms.
I put my hand to my heart."If only we were mates." I pretended to sound disappointed.
"I don't even think Max is capable of having a mate." Lisa laughed.
I joined in upon seeing the pure outrage in Max's face.
"For your information I do have a mate." He replied indignantly.This was news. Our shocked faces turned to him."It just so happens I'm looking at her now." He said seductively as he played with a lock of Lisa's hair.
Lisa shoved him so hard he almost fell off the bench. She looked like she was actually going to throw up. Tears came to my eyes as I bent over in laughter. Lisa rolled her eyes but even she admitted it was funny.
The two of them were like cat and dog. They could be friendly some times but most of the times they wanted to kill each other. But overall they were good friends. Ashley and Max on the other hand were mortal enemies. They couldn't stand each other one bit, let alone be left together in the same room without fighting. I think it's because they were so similar in personalities that they instantly repelled each other.
The bell rang and I stretched my tired legs.I had to go to my locker and grab my books for class. I hoped Christian was at his locker too, I'd been meaning to ask him about how he thought we did on the project. As I approached my locker, I realized he wasn't there. I took my sneakers out and stuffed them in my bag. As I zipped it up from the floor when I felt hands grab me. I screamed and turned around quickly scowling at Christian.
"You are so annoying." I growled and hit him on the shoulder. He rubbed the spot pretending to be hurt.
"Come on, I can't be THAT annoying, since we're still friends."
"That's cause I couldn't find anyone better to replace you."I giggled poking him.
"Very funny. Poke me again Cara and you're in trouble." He wagged his finger at me. Immediately I poked him in an act of revenge.
"That's it!" He shook his head and started to tickle me. I shrieked and backed away from him. He tried to get me again but I moved back even further. He grabbed my arms, pinning me to him while he tried to poke me in the ribs. I shrieked and squirmed and we both fell against the lockers.
We wrestled for control of his hands. Everytime he broke free of my hold, he poked my ribs once more." I'm winning."
"No. No. No!" I squirmed. "Have mercy on me."I was laughing so hard that I had to gasp in order to catch my breath. "Christian!'" I cried! Our bodies were pressed against one another and our faces were centimeters apart. My chest tightened and I gulped. He didn't seem to notice how close we were to each other... how close his lips were to my own.
A loud growl ripped through the air and broke us apart. I recognized that tone. It was Reid. He had Christian pinned against the lockers. Christian was fighting for control but Reid had the upper-hand.
I gasped as two guys came to pull Reid off from Christian. "If you ever touch her again so help me Christian....." He seethed.
"She wasn't complaining." Christian gloated. "When's the last time you made her smile? All you do is keep things from her, you don't deserve her."
Reid broke apart from the men and walked up to Christian. He swung his fist and it connected with Christian's jaw. Instantly, Christian crumpled to the floor.
I was stunned by what I had just witnessed in front of me. Reid glanced at me once and then walked away shaking his head in disappointment.
I went up to Christian. He sat up holding his jaw."Are you ok?!" I asked, rubbing his back. I was equally worried about/ pissed off at Christian. However, I chose to put the latter aside in order to comfort my injured friend.
"It'll heal. Sorry for overstepping, I just couldn't stand to know that he was the reason you were so upset this past week. He's a jerk and he deserves to have lost you."
I sighed. "I get that you're trying to help, but that's not helping. You know my relationship with Reid is rocky, and you know the last thing Reid wants is you interfering in it.I appreciate your concern for me but you don't have to defend my honor Christian. I'm more than capable. I'm going to go calm him down now. I'll see you around okay?"
I ran after him. He made it to the parking lot and got into his car. I ran to the passenger seat and climbed in after him."Reid wait up. I'm sorry about that. Really."
"I've been fucking blind. No wonder it was so easy to leave me, because you knew you had another guy lined up to be your boyfriend. How long has that been going on behind my back?!" He growled, slamming his hand down onto the steering wheel.
"Reid what are you talking about, nothing has been going on!" Smoke was practically billowing from his ears. He showed no signs of calming down.
"Where were you last night? You left your jacket in my car and I came back to drop it off to you and talk. But you weren't home, your dad said you were with a friend. I thought maybe he was making up an excuse so I couldn't see you, but now I have second thoughts. You were at Christian's, weren't you?"
"I went to his place, yes." I hung my head. "But it's not like that. We had to finish a project." My intentions were innocent but even I had to admit that it didn't appear that way at the moment.
"Right after getting off the plane, you run to him." He laughed in disbelief. I could see a vein appear in the side corner of his neck. I put my hand on his arm to calm him down."Did you spend the night?"
I blushed and dropped my eyes. "No." I lied. I remembered what Reid said about wolves being jealous, especially Alphas. It was better not to unleash that particular beast.
"Cara you're a terrible liar, I can tell when you're not being honest. You broke the rules that we established together. We agreed you wouldn't spend the night at his."
"Yeah well that was before we broke up." I folded my arms and turned my head up in defiance. I hated being caught in a lie.
"But we are back together so they apply again." He pointed out. I rolled my eyes."What?Are we together or not? Or do you want me to back off Cara, so you can go be with him? Is that your big plan? You've given up on us?"
"No. Stop it. You're being unfair" I cried.
"Where did you sleep last night Cara? Was it in his room? His bed?" I looked away, refusing to answer his question. That made him more infuriated. My silence spoke louder than my words. "Great thats a yes... And where the hell did he sleep?" Reid growled.
"What is the point of this interrogation? What are you trying to imply?"
"You know exactly what I'm trying to imply..." He growled again.
"My god, calm down! Nothing happened between Christian and me, and nothing ever will. We are friends! I can't believe we are even having this conversation."
Read scoffed. "He doesn't want to be your friend. And Cara, his body was pressed up against you at the lockers. His lips were centimeters away from yours and you didn't seem to mind. Hell, you've let him get closer to you than you've let me these last few days."
I blushed. "Stop it, he is my friend. You're just jealous because you never anticipated we'd become so close. Reid, I respond well to openness and honesty. Christian is an open book, you hid my entire life from me like the rouges. But unlike with the rouges I'm trying my absolute best to forgive you and return back to normal. Reid you tore my heart out, I'm sorry if it'll take more than a few days to fully mend it."
Why were we fighting? We had just partially made up yesterday. It was unreasonable for him to fly into such a rage when only the other day we were in an ok place.
"Yes your "absolute best" is trading me in for Christian huh? What does that serve to do exactly except aggravate me?" He growled.
This Reid was different from the one at the cafe. I didn't want to argue with him but I couldn't help myself from matching his biting comments with my own."What can I say.... at least he was here for me throughout all this chaos."
"Because you didn't push him away!" He groaned in frustration."I've been here the whole fucking time, but you wouldn't let me. You blocked me from reaching out to you and I had to run around in circles looking for you."
He looked away from me and then out the window."Sorry, I'd just like to know: When do you think you'll be ready for us to be together, properly? When are you going to forgive me and put everything behind us so we can fully move on?" I didn't answer so he continued to press. "Days, weeks, months, years Cara?"
"Not years." He didn't say anything but he didn't look relieved either."But not days either."
He sighed. "So between weeks and months. Ridiculous..." He looked fed up and tired. "God, what else do you want from me? What else do I need to do to show you I want to make this work? I promised you honesty and that you would see your parents, what do I need to do more?"
"Reid, already I'm improving. I let you kiss and touch me. Shouldn't that be enough for now?"
"I'm not Steven Cara. Maybe that satisfied him but that doesn't satisfy me. It's not only your body I want Cara..."He sighed deeply."Truthfully, Cara, I can't take more of this, I miss how things used to be. I don't know how you're enduring all of this...."
"I'm not Reid. I still cry every day. Do you think it causes me joy to be so distant from you?! Things are so different now."
Exasperated, he groaned into his hands."We're mates. We shouldn't be treating each other like this. You shouldn't be crying- and I-"
"Shouldn't have been keeping things from me." I answered for him. "My very own boyfriend kept things for me, lied to me, acted like the very same rogues he swore to protect me from." I shook my head.
"Stop comparing me to those creatures Cara, you know I hate that. His mouth curved downwards into a disgusted snarl. "Look, I know I hurt you but here I am asking you countless times over for forgiveness. How many times do I have to beg Cara? Why are you still punishing me? You said we are together but it doesn't feel like it. You still haven't unblocked me from mind linking you or messaging you. Cara, you let others close to you but not me. You have no idea how that makes me feel. It feels like you don't really want to be with me but you are doing so out of mate's obligation. You would have preferred someone like Christian."
"I-um." I faltered. A look of hurt came over his face, and I knew I had messed up. Reid needed reassurance at that moment and I failed to give it to him. Yes I had a grudge over my heart but I still loved him. I didn't see Christian in a romantic way and maybe I was letting him in as a way to push Reid away?
"God the moon goddess really screwed this pairing up, thinking to pair you with me. I'm sorry I let you down and I couldn't be everything you expected. Sorry you got paired with a worthless mate like myself."Reid grumbled.
He got out the car and jogged back into the building. I called out to him but he didn't stop. I still had half a day of classes to attend, so I made my way to our shared study hall to find he was not there. I didn't see him for the rest of the day.
I felt so guilty and miserable the entire day. I knew Christian was a sore subject for him and I was playing into his jealousies just because I was still upset with him. I cared about Reid and I did love him and he could be so kind and considerate. He risked his life to rescue me from the base. I needed to make myself remember the good times not just the bad. I should be trying to work things out with him not hurting him.
I broke down in tears at my locker and Christian came up to me. Honestly, he was the last person I wanted to see at the moment."Cara what's wrong? If it's about earlier, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put you in an awkward position." He rubbed my back. "You okay? Tell me what's the matter."
"I'm just so confused. My heart wants to forgive Reid and start over but my head is still holding a grudge. It's telling me that I need to not be so weak. I don't know what to do."
Immediately his arms came around me to comfort me. "I wish I knew a bit more of the details so I could understand how serious this is, but I would think you should do the most logical decision and listen to your head. If it's telling you to take some time, maybe that's what you should do. Rushing things and forcing things never work." He patted me on the back. "He shouldn't be forcing you to make a decision."
Maybe he was right?
From the corner of my eyes, I saw Reid coming out of a class. He took one look at me in Christian's arms and turned around, heading directly for the exit.
I groaned and pulled away from Christian. "I'm sorry I have to go." I ran out looking for him and I saw his Jeep speed out of the driveway.
I walked back into the building feeling even worse. Christian was still at my locker, this time talking to a guy. I almost considered asking him for a ride to Reid's but something told me that would be a terrible idea. I found Matt and asked him to drop me instead.
He let me into the house and I ran upstairs to Reid's room. I knocked twice before entering. All the windows were open and a chilly breeze flowed throughout the room. Reid was hovering over his suitcase on the bed. There were clothes already inside.
"Where are you going?" I blurted out. Was he leaving because of me?
"Washington. I'm going to spend some days training with a few packs for an upcoming rouge fight in December."
"When did you agree to start training?"
"This afternoon. I was originally supposed to go over the weekend, but as you know, plans change, people change. So now I'm leaving." He zipped up his suitcase."What do you want Cara?" He refused to look me in the eyes.
"I wanted to apologize for the Christian thing. I was crying and he consoled me. That's all it was, I swear."
"Glad you could find comfort in his arms." He said sarcastically.
"Don't be mean Reid." He zipped up his bag and threw on a shirt. His phone vibrated and he silenced it before putting it in his pocket. We had still not made eye contact yet.
"Do you think going off to Washington is going to help our relationship?"
"What relationship?" Reid muttered.
I gasped. "I'm not used to this side of you Reid." I folded my arms. "You're being cold and quite frankly mean."
"Yes you prefer the alternative. I spend every day for the next few months kissing your ass and groveling while you continually reject me and flirt with others guys in front of me." He grumbled. "Don't worry Cara I'll go back to that soon enough but right now I need to go train. I have other responsibilities that I have to attend to."
"Wow...." I muttered. "That was uncalled for. I don't require you to kiss my ass Reid and I wasn't flirting with Christian. I need time to think, I don't want to be forced into making a decision when I'm not ready."
"I thought this whole time this fight was about me keeping secrets, but now I'm starting to realize that it's deeper than that.Tell me, do you actually want to be with me one day Cara? Or is it just a one strike policy and I'm out of your life for good?"
"Reid I do! I'm just mad at myself, for letting you in so quickly and not guarding my heart better. I just feel betrayed that's all. I-I trusted you, and you let me down. I want to take things more slowly, like I should have done in the beginning. But I do want to be back together, stop being so impatient and jealous. Christian means nothing to me, I don't see him as anything but a friend."
"I can't stand to see you grow closer to him while keeping me at a distance. He doesn't want to be your friend Cara and you're falling right into his trap." He sat down in bed.
I rolled my eyes, Christian was harmless. "Stop being ridiculous. I'm your mate Reid. We are just in a rough patch. Give me some more time, maybe we should start off first as friends like we were in the base. That could be a good starting point don't you think?" Reid looked at me with hurt and disgust.
"Maybe we should, I'd love whatever friendship deal Christian is getting at the moment. That one comes with plenty of perks that I can't have being your damn mate." My face stung as if slapped. Tears pricked my eyes and my face burned violently red. Reid sighed then picked up his suitcase and duffel bag."Couples go through hard times all the time without breaking up. You ran from me, you flirt with other guys in front of me, and now you are proposing we be friends. It's ridiculous Cara. You don't do that to someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you stay and you fight for the relationship you want to build with them." His tone changed suddenly. "God. I can't do this anymore."
"Can't do what?!" I asked anxiously. I did not like the tonal shift in his voice.
"I can't keep trying to coerce you into being with me. You've made your decision, and it's not to be with me in this very moment. I just have to respect that and give you space. Let me drop you home Cara, I don't think there's anything left to say at this point."
"So now you're the one giving up. If you leave, I'll just go back to NY." I folded my arms impetuously.
"Go ahead. I'm sure Matt can drop you to the airport. He was so helpful the last time." Reid picked up his bags.
My heart dropped to the bottom of my chest. He could be so cruel when he wanted to be. I shook my head no and a tear rolled down my cheek. Just yesterday he said he would fight for me and now today he was ready to give up. Instead of consoling me, he headed towards the stairs. "Are you coming or should I call Matt?"
Not waiting for my response he walked down the stairs and exited the door. As soon as he left, I could no longer hold it in anymore, I burst out immediately into tears. In my obstinacy, I pushed him away and now I regretted it.
I didn't want him to stop fighting for us. I needed him in my life, I just needed time to open my heart back up. I wished it were possible to redo the morning, I should have never let myself get so close to Christian. I knew how sensitive Reid was about seeing me with another man.
After dropping off his bags he came back upstairs. "Let's go Cara." He urged.
It was then that he realized that I had been crying
. He made a step towards me but then hesitated. He didn't know if I would accept or reject him.
I decided to act for the two of us."Reid i want to be with you." I embraced him before he could turn back to the door.My lips were on his and my tongue pleaded with his mouth for entry. He eventually obliged.
I had to admit, it felt so good to kiss him. His hands came around my waist. He lifted me up and brought me onto the bed. We passionately kissed each other , something we hadn't done in a while. It felt so wrong but at the same time so so so right and I pushed away any feelings of doubt. I didn't want to hurt him unnecessarily. I wanted to apologize through my actions because my I was further complicating matters for the two of us.
"Cara I don't want your pity." His whispered between kisses. "Us being mates shouldn't be the only thing that is making you stay. You should want to be with me because you like me...." His voice cracked.
"Reid i-i do."
"If we were humans, you would have left me and never looked back." He growled.
"That's not true Reid!"
"It is. I don't want you to feel forced to be with me" He pulled away and cursed. I tried to kiss him again but he shook his head no. I could see the guilt, disappointment, and frustration on his face.
"Let's go Cara. Please." He wouldn't look at me. I brought his face to mine.
"I want to be with you Reid. I don't want to lose you. I am still upset and hurt but it doesn't change the fact that I want you in my life." I cried. "Don't leave. Stay and let's figure things out."
"Let's just see what happens when I'm back ok? I will call you when I arrive in Washington.."
I nodded tearfully.
This was not how I imagined the day going. I imagined us spending the day together and taking things slowly. But he was right, if I wanted to let him back into my heart fully, I needed to stop punishing him. I needed to forgive my mate truly.