The Voice of 抖阴社区's Battle Round Entry.
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My Song
by superjelly
It's loud everywhere. The enthusiastic screams of dancing people are clashing with the blast of the speakers that are attached on the wall that plays groovy music. The joy plastered on the faces of the crowd shows that they are having fun.
In the midst of this place where everyone can be wild and free, stands Eve who is oblivious to her surroundings. Her ears are covered with her old earphones that is almost broken, while she hums to her favorite song. She wipes the counters as the drunk customers swift away to the dance floor and have the time of their lives.
"Eve, can you serve this to table number 3?" Bryan, who isn't aware that Eve cannot hear him because of the earphones stuck on her ears, told her. He called her again, and again, and again, until he got annoyed enough to just serve the drinks on his own.
After wiping off the counters, she turns to the now unoccupied tables at the left side of the room, walks down the elevated floor, goes to the table, and started collecting all the bottles and glasses that are left behind. As she is doing so, the music she is listening to suddenly stopped. Her mind is immediately brought back to the place where she is right now.
Eve takes her phone out from the pocket of her jeans and checked it. The battery is now empty. She remembers that she wasn't able to charge it at home before going off to her job. She is frustrated at first, but decided to just let it go after a couple of seconds and then puts the phone back in her pocket together with her earphones.
She tries to concentrate on doing her job now that she can already hear the noise around her. For her, the music that the bar plays doesn't make sense at all. She isn't the kind of person that goes for the wild vibe, but here she is, back at this place where she doesn't fit in.
She placed all the empty bottles and glasses on the tray she has been holding and delivered these back to the dish washing room. After doing that, she noticed that the dance floor has been cleared out and the noise coming both from the speakers and the mob are silenced. The technical staff are now setting up the stage. By the looks of it, she could tell that the main event of the night will be going to start shortly.
***
Caleb, on the other hand, is feeling uneasy. No, he isn't nervous because of the thought of a large audience who will watch him; he's used to that. He feels that way because he hasn't lit a cigarette yet ever since yesterday. His older sister visited his place yesterday, and because his sister is someone who is against cigarette smoking, he just couldn't do it at that time with her around.
His performance will start in a minute. After that, he can finally lit one and vent out all the frustrations and irritations that are filling inside him.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Tonight, as each one of you know, we have a very special guest," the emcee announced. People started to react. "Okay, let's give a round of applause to Mr. Caleb Araneta!"
That is his cue. He walks to the center of the stage and waves at those people who are watching him. All of them screamed, called his name, and gave him praises. He isn't even starting yet.
"Hey there guys," he said, flashing them the sweetest smile he could make. "I'm glad to be here tonight." That was at least true for his part. He really loves this place, because this is where he often played his songs when he was just starting his music career. He's thankful that he still feels welcomed despite the fact that it has been a long time since he last performed here.
The crowd gets wilder when he starts to strum his guitar. He sings his new single, "Insensitivity", while people starts to sing and cheer for him.
He is looking at the crowd who are singing to the lyrics of the song, when all of a sudden, his eyes catches a certain girl at the back of the bar. The girl is wearing the bar's uniform, and she's staring at him with blank eyes and an expressionless face. Her difference among everyone else in the place piqued his interest. He stares at her for a long time, trying to captivate the girl with his charm but it seems that he failed because she doesn't even change her facade.
He still keeps on glancing at this girl when he starts to sing his next song. Caleb tries to distract himself by singing with the crowd, doing improvisations on his guitar chords, but he still couldn't help but to look at this girl. When his second song ends, and just as he is about to start his third song, the girl walks to an empty table and starts to clean up. She's not watching him anymore.
Caleb decides to change the next song that he's going to sing. He is supposed to sing something loud again, but this time, he just suddenly felt singing the song he just wrote last night. Last night, he couldn't sleep and so he ended up composing a song to describe his feelings but when he saw the result, he decided to just keep it to himself.... But this girl, because of an unexplainable reason, changed his mind.
"The last song that I'm going to sing was just written last night. It's more of a ballad though," he speaks over the microphone. "And it may be a piece of crap to you... but ya, here we go. It's entitled My Song, and I know that from its title you'll already think that it's crappy. Nevertheless, I just wanted to share it to all of you guys."
The crowd gets quiet when Caleb changes his guitar from an electric to an acoustic one. He strums the guitar and closes his eyes.
"Can someone take me to the safest place in this world?"
When the song begins, Eve comes to a halt. She raises her head and stare again at the person she really admires- Caleb Araneta, her favorite singer. She watches him sing with so much passion, as if his music is taking him to somewhere far away from this cruel world they are living in, to the safest place he could ever find.... and he's taking her with him. She could feel as if the lyrics are pulling every single strings in her heart, as if the lyrics and the melody are singing all the unexpressed thoughts in her. With his song, Eve feels she isn't alone... again.
Caleb tries to catch his breath when he finishes the song. He could feel the adrenaline rush. It's as if the heaviness that he feels parted him. When he opens his eyes, people are smiling and nodding at him, some are even crying... he can tell that all of them are truly happy. They give him a round of applause. Caleb bows after his performance and leaves the stage.
For some reason, he feels.... good. It has been a while since he felt that way after singing in front of an audience. It is as if his passion came back; but then afterwards, he shakes his thoughts away when he is in the backstage again.
No, I'm just fooling myself, because I'm certain that I no longer have the desire I had when I was just beginning my career. I'm not the same Caleb anymore.... And I'll never be the same.
"Eve," Bryan calls Eve for the third time. The crowd goes back to their partying and Eve is just there standing near the counter, still astounded about what just happened. She could still hear Caleb's voice ringing in her ears and imagines that the lyrics are flashing on her mind.
Bryan lost his patience. He taps Eve's shoulder and raises his brow. "Eve! What's up? I've been calling you for three times already."
Eve is brought back to reality. She turns to Bryan with her composure. "Why?"
"Can you take this to the back?" He said and hands her the two garbage bags he's holding. She quietly takes it from him and walks to the back of the bar, passing by the dish washing room. The back of the bar is where they place the trash. Eve goes out and puts the garbage bags in the bin. When she turns to go back inside, she notices someone staring at her.
Caleb.
She stares at him, showing no emotion at all... but deep inside, Eve feels ecstatic. The person she really admires is just there in front of her! She doesn't want to react like a normal fan would, because she feels that it's a little bit inappropriate especially that it's not her thing. She's about to go inside and let go of the chance to talk personally with her favorite singer (she's getting ready to regret it later), but then his voice breaks into her reverie.
Eve looks back when she hears Caleb say 'hey' and gives him a bewildered look.
"Me?" She even points at herself, but then looks around and realizes that there are just the two of them out there, so she stands quietly and feels a little bit embarrassed about her acting stupid.
Caleb chuckles. "Yes, you. Can I ask you a favor?" He asks her and rubs his ear. He does this whenever he's nervous, though at this moment, he doesn't know why he's feeling that way. Eve gives him a nod. Caleb looks at her, then at the lit cigarette between his fingers, and then finally takes a deep breath. "Can you... Uh, stay for a while?"
Eve looks at the doorway that leads inside the bar. "But I still have work."
"Just for a sec," Caleb smiles at her. "Pretty please?"
She thought of it. She's not really needed inside yet because the customers are just in the verge of their party mood, and she's sure it will still take time before the customers decide to leave. Besides, the music inside is making her feel uneasy. She gazes at Caleb, who looks at her with pleading eyes. Eve isn't really charmed by his looks, but she has that urge to stay because every time she remembers his song, she just feels really happy.
"Okay then."
Caleb smiles at her reply. He throws the cigarette on the ground and steps on it afterwards. He puts his hands on his pockets. The nervousness still did not go away.
"I was watching you a while ago," he starts. "I was staring at your face when I was singing on stage. I know it's a little bit weird... but I just found your expression interesting. It was different from everyone else's."
Eve raises a brow. "What do you mean by 'different'?"
"You looked so passionate. You seemed like you were singing with me on stage, listening not only to my voice but also to the words of the lyrics. It appeared to me that you were looking through the soul of my song."
She just stares at him, so he goes on. "I've never seen anyone react like that to my song. Within the whole five years of my music career, I thought I already achieved everything... fame, wealth, honor... I thought that was the purpose of why am I singing. I enjoyed it since I was a teenager. It was a way of self-expression; whenever I feel like shit, I vent it all out on my compositions. That's where I let out all the anger, frustrations, disappointment, and the loneliness I've felt. For several years, it made me feel satisfied. There was a sense of contentment. But then as time passes by, as I progress, or as they would like to say at least, I no longer felt the same. The pressure of being the best got into me. I was too proud... and the music that completed me back then, now destroyed me. I realized that it doesn't make me feel happy and contented anymore."
Eve does not understand why Caleb is telling her all of this, but she listens attentively. She could feel his emotions building up on him as he speals. Eve, again, does not know how she would react: to either sympathize with him, or to argue.
Caleb closes his eyes as he tries to calm himself. He could feel his tears forming, but he does not want to show it to this girl in front of him. He never shows his tears to anyone.
He thought of the moments that made him feel this way about music- the pressure and expectations that the company has been giving him, his family who never supported him and never appreciated the music he creates, his sister who calls his song a piece of trash, and the disappointing looks of his parents every time he visits them at their house.
"I was too boastful, that's why my family hates me. When I told them that they could not control me anymore and that I'm on my own.... certainly I was. Because ever since I pursued this career, they disowned me as their family member."
Caleb curses the world. It is unfair. Every night he would lie on his bed, thinking of all the times the world treated him badly. He hates it. And he even hates more the fact that he isn't strong enough to live his life and to move forward.... Because every night, he would just wish of all the suffering to come to an end.
The both of them were quiet, indulged on their own thoughts.
Eve finally had the guts to break the silence when she starts to hum. Caleb stares at her, wondering if what'll she do. Eve closes her eyes this time and feels the humid air touches her cheeks.
She opens her mouth and she suddenly starts singing. It is an untitled song she composed when she couldn't sleep two nights ago, when she was all alone inside her dark room. Caleb listens to her voice and watches her as she sings the song that is unfamiliar to him.
When she finishes it, the silence fills the place again, until Caleb claps and smiles at Eve.
"You sing really well." he comments.
Eve opens her eyes and looks at him."I never had the chance to fight back, like you did."
She takes a deep breath. "My parents were always fighting, were always shouting at each other. All the years I'm growing up, it wasn't music. It was all noise.... A noise I wouldn't want to hear. My parents would always release their anger on me. My father would always shout at me, insult me... my mother slapped me very often that eventually I got numb. I did not have the courage to tell them to stop, because I honestly believed that they were just angry, and beyond that, they still have the heart that loves me as their own daughter."
Caleb stares at the girl in front of him. She does not give him the impression of someone who lacks courage. She looks tough to him.
Or maybe it's just what she seems to be, he thought.
"I stopped going to school, too. We lacked the funds. I lost all of my friends, because they moved on without me. They finished school, they got their diplomas, they all have a good job now unlike me. I don't have anyone to ran to.... But then, one day, I heard a voice who reached out to me like a parent would to her own child. It was your music, your voice, who gave me the motivation to keep on moving forward, for me to continue living. Because your music comforted me, told me that I am not alone in this sullied world."
Eve gives him a smile; it is a smile like no other. A smile that touches his heart. A girl in front of him who have all the will to live on, despite all the trials and suffering she's been facing. Caleb shakes his head in disbelief. This girl went through much suffering than he did and yet, she is stronger than him.
Caleb looks at the sky. "What's your name?"
She answers, "Eve."
He smiles at the dark sky, at the stars shimmering above him. "Eve... That means to live." He understands it now. It all makes sense. Her name really fits her, for she is someone who continues to live unlike him. "Your name has a good meaning, unlike mine. Caleb means dog." he adds.
She can't help but to chuckle, but she regains her cool. "I think it suits you though, because I think dogs are really strong animals."
He looks at her in surprise. This girl believes too much in him, that he doesn't know whether to be happy with it or the other way round. When he peeks into her eyes, all he could see is a girl who has a genuine heart. Someone who can truly appreciate him, and most especially, someone who can truly appreciate his music.
Someone calls out Eve's name from inside.
"I.. I gotta go," she says.
He just nods quietly. Eve waits for him to say more, but he didn't. She acknowledges the nod as a signal that she could go. She nods back, and finally goes inside.
The night is long for Eve. Every now and then, she keeps on looking at the bar's main door, waiting for Caleb to leave. She wipes off the tables when the night ends, and then people finally leave the bar; but she did not see Caleb leave. She heaves a sigh and thinks that maybe he left quickly that she didn't notice him leaving.
"We're done." Bryan declares exasperatedly.
She packs up her things and waves goodbye to the people at the bar. She slowly walks out of the bar - the night still keeps on playing on her mind. For a moment, she thought that maybe it was just all her imagination that Caleb, her favorite singer and inspiration, talked to her.
But she is proven wrong.
Because when she raises her head, she sees him leaning on the lamppost, as if waiting for someone, with his guitar case hanging on his shoulders. She stands there looking at him, deciding if she'll walk up to him and have the chance to converse with him once more, but she's afraid of what Caleb may think of her. She doesn't want that. So instead, she looked up at the sky, searching for a sign like she always does, and when she leers back at him...
Slowly but surely, Caleb turns his head to look at her, too.
Images starts to flash on his mind. He goes back to that time, over five years ago from today, the first time he stepped on a stage for a solo performance. He perfectly remembers that time when he was nervously tapping his fingers on the table and asked for a drink to ease him up a little, when a girl by the counter looks up to him with such gleaming eyes and a smile that was full of life.
A smile that somehow encouraged him to keep on moving, even if others are pulling you down. All these years he wishes that he could have the chance to talk to her, and to see her eyes and smile once again.
He smiles at her, a smile different from the one he wore a while ago.... And feels the joy that finally, he could return the smile that gave him the courage to fight once more.