I don't think I was capable of loving her anymore and maybe she knew that. She had too. I don't think she necessarily cared though, as long as she held onto a piece of me. That piece of me was the thought. No matter how horrid and heart breaking it was, she continued to hold onto it with everything in her.
I wasn't going to stop her. There was no need. She was a smart girl. She'd get over it, right?
I continuously smoked; I needed something to distract me not only from her, but issues in my life as well.
I hadn't seen my mother in ages, we were close and then we weren't.
We lived miles apart which was understandable, but we didn't even talk on the phone as often as I liked.
I missed her. I guess distance greets everyone unexpectedly sometimes though.
Parties went on throughout my phone every other Friday night and I forgot everything for a long while. However, when I woke up on Saturday morning and draped my feet over my bed as I sat up, I felt everything and then nothing, all at once.
My life was a mess and I didn't have any motivation to fix it.
She was my motivation, but she was vacant from my life.
It makes no sense, honestly.
She my motivation, yet I don't strive to obtain her love- at least not often.
I'm know..I'm not--.