"Mom! Watch out!" With the sound of tires squealing and glass shattering, black spots danced around your blurry vision. The only thing you could make out was your mom in the driver seat, pieces of glass scattered around her.
__________
A week. It's been a week since you woke up. The hospital wasn't exactly the happiest place on earth, and it didn't help that you had multiple cuts and bruises, along with stitches on your head. The only actual big thing that happened to you was the fact you had a mild concussion lasting about four days. Your injuries weren't as bad as you thought they would be, but it was your mom that worried you. The doctors said she would be fine, but you knew they were lying. You had overheard them talking about her a few nights ago, saying how her eyes were damaged beyond repair.
What angered you the most was that they wouldn't allow you to visit your mom or tell you her room number, no matter how much you insisted and begged.
"Tomorrow." They said. "Tomorrow you'll see your mom."
But you never did. It's been an entire week, and yet they keep pushing it back. All they said day after day was, "Tomorrow, Y/N. You'll see her tomorrow."
And that's why you were where you were right now. In the dimly lit hallways of the hospital, you were a bit creeped out, especially since some of the lights were flickering. All the doctors on the night shift seemed to be somewhere else, so it seemed as if you were alone. You were determined to find your mom's room, and it was the perfect time to do so. At least, that's what your amazing brain told you.
You shuffled forward a bit until you came upon a split. You could either go right, or go left. You pondered over the choices, debating on which direction you should take.
Click.
You whipped around at the small noise, your heart thumping rapidly in your chest. What was that?
Thump. Thump thump.
It was the sound of uneven walking. You could feel your stomach churning in anxiety, and cold sweat running down your forehead. You mentally cursed at your stupid decision to roam the hospital at night. Who in their right mind would do this? Oh right. Me. But I really wanted to see my mom. I guess I'll have to do this later.
You started creeping down the way you came, stepping carefully. You winced at every squeak your footsteps made, and you constantly looked around cautiously. Every corner you were greeted with, you poked you head out first, looked around, then kept moving. As time passed, you realized how stupid and paranoid you were being. Straightening your back and redoing your ponytail, you started walking normally. You sighed and turned right, and you instinctively slapped your hand over your mouth to prevent a scream from escaping your lips.
Eyes wide, you backed away from the gloomy figure you almost bumped into, hand still over your mouth.
What the—
"Oh my gosh I am so sorry," the figure apologized in a whisper, emerging from the darkness. "Are you okay?"
You just stared at the person, awestruck. With messy dark hair and unreal facial features, you couldn't believe it. You immediately snapped out of your daze and let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.
"I— I'm okay," you whispered, heart racing wildly. "Just shocked."
"I truly am sorry, I didn't think anyone would be up at this time." He smiled apologetically, ruffling his already messy hair.
"Well, you thought wrong." You had finally gotten over your momentary shock, and your brain was working again. Stepping around him, you turned left, walking at a brisk pace. You wanted to get away from that stranger, and as fast as possible.
"How do you walk so fast?"
You almost jumped out of your skin as someone breathed on your neck. You kept on walking, ignoring the shivers his deep voice sent down your spine.
206. 208. 210.
You skimmed though the room numbers, trying to find your room. Room after room, turn after turn, you could still feel him following you. You were almost at your room, and you couldn't stand it anymore.
Whipping around, you glared at the man. "Stop stalking me you creep."
"I'm not stalking you, I'm going to my room," he pointed towards one of the doors further down the hallway.
You turned around with a sigh and opened the door to your room silently, stepping in. You closed the door, but as you did, you heard a faint whisper.
"The name's Taehyung, by the way."
__________
"Can I see my mom today?" You weren't expecting anything. And you were right. The nurse answered with a, "tomorrow. She isn't ready yet."
Psh. More like you aren't ready.
With a glance at the clock, you reached for a book, flipping to the page you left off.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.
It's been a good thirty minutes since you picked up your book.
"Nice book?"
Startled by the sudden question, you dropped the book, losing your place. You looked up, and by the other side of the room was a familiar looking figure, seated with a polaroid in hand.
"Who are you?" Picking up your book, you tried to find the part where you left off.
"Don't you remember? Last night?"
Oh.
"No I don't remember," you lied. Why you lied, you didn't even know. But something told you that you should. "Who are you?"
"How can someone forget such a face? Oh right, I'm only photogenic. I don't look good in real life."
As if I'd forget you.
"If you aren't going to answer, get out," you ordered, pointing to the door. "I don't need a stranger in my room."
"Geez woman, chill!" He laughed. "I'm pretty sure I told you yesterday, but my name is Taehyung. Currently twenty-three years old and obsessed with taking pictures and recording things."
"Obsessed?" You looked at him
"It's kinda hard to explain." He smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
"Well then," you said, nice enough to drop the topic. "The name is Y/N, and I'm twenty-two."
Taehyung nodded. "I see. If it isn't too personal, can you tell me why you're here?"
You sighed, but answered with a, "car accident."
"Is your car okay?"
You burst out laughing at his question. "I honestly don't know. No one ever told me what happened to it." A few seconds later, you added, "that's the first question that isn't related to my health I've received after telling someone how I ended up here."
"Well," Taehyung fidgeted with his camera. "I hate asking questions like 'are you okay?' or 'how are you?' because I personally hate being asked those questions. The answers are obvious, isn't it? Why else would you be stuck here?"
You fell silent. It was true. You absolutely hated it when the nurses asked you, "are you okay sweetie?" It was obvious. Would you be here if you were "okay"?
"Made you think, didn't I?" He laughed emotionlessly. "But the real question is, why in the world were you up in the middle of the night?"
You were about to throw out a sharp reply, but held back. Instead, you answered him. "I was looking for someone."
Taehyung gestured you to go on. You complied. "She was in the car with me when we crashed. She's here in the hospital somewhere, but the nurses and the doctors won't let me visit her. So I was trying to sneak into her room last night."
"Do you know her room number?"
You hesitated. You had a faint idea of what it was, but you weren't sure if it was the right number or not.
"I'm guessing you don't." Taehyung stood up walked over to where you were lying in bed. He presented you his right hand. "Then I'll try to find her. If I do, I'll tell you as soon as possible. Okay? Now shake my hand and don't leave me hanging."
You took his hand with a smile. At least you weren't alone anymore.
__________
It's been two days now. Two days since that Taehyung visited you. Two days of waiting anxiously. All that was on your mind those two days were your mom. Was she okay? How was she coping? Did she miss you? And you were beyond relieved when Taehyung walked into your room this morning with news.
"Did you find her?" Was the first thing you blurted out when you saw the familiar man open the door.
He didn't talk, but only give you a solemn expression. You started to grow uneasy in the silence, your stomach churning and clenching painfully.
"She was your mom, right?" He stood at the side of your bed, a video camera tightly clasped in his right hand.
"How did you-" You stopped for a millisecond, then continued with a, "yeah, she is."
"I guess those so-called nurses and doctors haven't told you..." Taehyung made a tch sound with his mouth, a disgusted expression showing on his flawless face. "Those lying dogs."
Your palms became excessively sweaty, and your hands curled into fists, whether out of anger or worry, you didn't know. But your heart was thumping so rapidly, you were sure Taehyung could hear it beating, threating to jump out of your chest at any moment.
"I thought they would have told you by now." He looked down at you, his eyes downcast and dull. "But I was wrong. Now you have to hear it from me, a person you only met a few days ago. So, I'm going to say 'sorry' beforehand. Not that it'll change anything."
You held your tongue, knowing if you started talking, you'd most likely blow up. So you sat with your legs hanging off the edge, your bare feet barely skimming the tiled floor. You motioned him to go on.
"I'm going to put this bluntly, so bare with me." Taehyung sighed, and his you saw him grip the video camera tighter, his knuckles turning white. "The woman- I mean, your mom, she's not here."
"She's not here?" You finally spoke up, feeling panicky. "Then where is she?"
Taehyung's features softened, and he crouched down to your eye level so you didn't have to look up anymore. "She isn't anywhere. She's gone. She's dead."
You looked into his brown eyes, his words a jumbled mess and not quite making its way into your brain. But you did hear two words clearly. She's dead.
You went into denial, shaking your head and mumbling inaudible words. Taehyung just crouched in front of you, his left hand resting on your thigh. But other than that simple gesture, he did nothing to comfort you. Tear after tear, little drops of salty liquid fell from your eyes, trailing down your cheeks, collecting at the point of your chin, before growing too heavy and finally dropping onto your thighs. But when Taehyung finally made a move, he set down his camera and took your small, trembling hands and enclosed them between his larger ones, you lost it. Sobs wracked your body, the tears collecting and falling at a faster pace than before. The feeling of loneliness and dread was much more stronger and painful than last time.
Last time.
The memories from eight years ago flooded your brain, creating more tears and cries. You were only fourteen, in the middle of eighth grade, when you were called into the office. They told you the news. The news about how your dad's mission to Antarctica failed when the team's boat hit rough waters and eventually sank in the Southern Ocean. Only four people survived. And your dad wasn't part of the lucky four. You blew up in the office. Vases were shattered, books were ripped, chairs were thrown, and you, you, were in the center of it all. With no siblings or close friends to lean on, your only friend was your mom. An absolute angel. She helped you through it all. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. And you took it all for granted. But now, it was too late. Now, you can't do anything for her in return. You couldn't even say a simple thank you.
But you didn't go crazy like last time. Instead, you just cried. You don't know how long, but when you finally stopped, your voice was hoarse and the sky outside the window had turned dark. Despite how long you were there in that same position, crying your soul out, he was still there. The friendly guy you met only a few days ago by accident. Practically a stranger, but at the same time, a friend. The only person you could lean on at the moment.
You wiped your face with your sleeves, not caring if snot got onto them. It was the littlest of your problems at the moment. You lifted your head, hearing a crack. He smiled at you. Not his usual boxy smile, but a sad one that was strangely comforting at the same time. It was as if he knew what you were feeling and going through. But he didn't say anything. And you were grateful he didn't. Because you knew, if he did, you would start crying again.
Still, you opened your mouth and whispered two words hoarsely. Two words you didn't get to say to your mother or your father.
"Thank you."
__________
According to Taehyung, multiple nurses and doctors had walked in while you were crying. Not that they made any move to come closer with Taehyung glaring at them. The next day, you daily checkup nurse came in, and you wasted no time to confront her. You didn't yell at her, cry, or go crazy. You just asked her a simple question.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
The nurse met your gaze with gentle eyes, and answered, "It was done to keep you safe. You weren't ready."
You fell silent. Then it hit you. Would your reaction have been any different if you knew earlier? Your hospital room would probably have ended up as a second version of the school office from eight years ago. Maybe even worse.
As the nurse left, you sunk into your misery, knowing that if you tried to deny the fact that your mom was never coming back, It'll hurt you more. You tried to accept it. The fact that she was gone. "She's in your heart," people would say. But that didn't change anything. It didn't bring her back from the dead. It didn't stop you from hurting. And the constant view of the white walls and doctors walking in and out only fueled the flame of loneliness.
Thankfully, you were discharged the next day.
__________
"Who in the world is calling me at this hour?" You groaned five days later as you reached for your phone blindly. When you found it, you turned it on, squinting at the brightness. The lock screen read: 7 missed calls from Kim Taehyung.
What the heck? You sleepily called him back.
"Y/N, Y/N, Y/N—" was the first thing you were greeted with when someone picked up.
"What do you want?" You stifled a yawn.
"Can you come right now?"
"Right now?" Your eyes flew wide open.
"Please Y/N. Pretty please."
"It's three twenty in the morning you idiot."
"I know," was the only answer.
You sighed. Then making up your mind, you said, "oh alright. I'll go. But this better be worth my sleep!"
Taehyung didn't say anything on the other side, but you could literally hear him grinning over the phone, if that was possible.
Hurriedly getting ready after the call ended, you rushed out the door. Getting on your bike once you exited the apartment complex, you pedaled your way to the hospital.
You shook your head blearily as the sky started to gradually lighten over your head.
"What are we doing here on the roof of a hospital at this time of day?" You glanced sleepily at Taehyung, who was grinning at you.
"You'll see!" He laughed softly before taking your hand unexpectedly and lacing his fingers between yours. Heat rose to your cheeks at the sudden gesture. Without looking at you, he smiled and said, "I think, no, I'm sure you'll love it."
You didn't know why, but his smile... It broke your heart. It wasn't his usual happy-go-lucky smile. Or his bright and friendly one. It seemed... bittersweet.
You followed him to the railing, his hand still tightly locked with yours. He leaned on the metal with his right arm, the camera that hung around his neck thumping lightly against the rail. His hand slipped out of yours, and he adjusted the camera so it wasn't hitting the rail or his chest. Then Taehyung embraced you, his head resting on top of yours.
You felt him sigh into your messily styled hair and hold you tighter. You returned the hug, the warmth of his body warming you up in the chilly October air. His sweet scent overwhelmed your senses, making you lightheaded— in a good way.
"Y/N, I'm sorry," Taehyung whispered into your hair. "I'm sorry I didn't meet you sooner, I'm sorry I couldn't save your mom, I'm sorry I can't—"
"Shut up," you interrupted, a bit confused on what was happening. "Stop saying sorry. It's not your fault."
You felt him nod slightly and pull away, facing the rising sun. You turned towards the sunrise too, a smile gracing your lips as your eyes took in the beautiful view.
"Woah." You sighed contently as the sky turned a navy blue as the sun peaked out the littlest bit. "You're right. I love it."
Taehyung and you took in the view in silence for a while.
"Y/N?" Taehyung broke the silence.
"Hmm?"
"I know it's hasn't even been a month since we've met, but I'm sure, absolutely sure, that I like you."
"That's nice." You drummed your fingers on the railing, then your fingers froze mid drum. "Wait, what?"
Taehyung chuckled as he draped his right arm over your shoulders and ruffled your already messy hair. "I said, I like you, you idiot. Get that through your head."
You were speechless. Taehyung. Kim Taehyung liked you. The funny, weird, caring, and loving guy that you met a few weeks ago liked you. It was, just, unbelievable and out of nowhere.
"I– I don't know what to say," you stared at your feet, which were very interesting at the moment. "It was just, so sudden..."
"Instead of talking, how about you show me. You can either respond or not respond at all, and I'll know by that."
Before you could ask what he meant, he tipped your head slightly upwards and leaned down, his lips lightly brushing yours. Your eyes widened and your breath hitched at the sudden contact, not knowing how to respond.
Then Taehyung's words replayed in your head. "You can either respond or not respond at all, and I'll know by that."
You rose to your toes and gently pressed your lips against his hesitantly, unsure of what to do. But when you felt him smile slightly against your lips, you couldn't help but smile a bit too.
Click.
You blinked opened your eyes at the sound and pulled away, the exhilarating feeling fading a bit. A camera was held up in front of you.
"I'm taking that a yes." You looked at Taehyung, who was grinning, then turned your gaze toward the camera which was still held up in front of you.
"Did you take a picture?" You glanced at him suspiciously and reached for his camera. You missed, sadly. Taehyung held it up over his head, a teasing look lighting his large eyes.
"What if I did?"
"Delete it!" You reached for the object, the tips of your fingers skimming the bottom of the cool material.
Taehyung lowered his arm and pressed his forehead against yours, his other hand cupping the back of your head to keep you from falling back. A smirk formed on his lips before he bit his bottom lip slightly. Then he looked at you through his lashes, the teasing look still there. "How about... A no?"
Then, laughing, he pecked the tip of your nose, your lips next in line.
__________
It was a week later since that morning. You were once again awoken by your phone ringing for the hundreth time.
It rang again. You picked it up without even checking who it was, still half asleep. And not to your surprise, it was Taehyung. Who else would call you at that time?
The first thing he said was, "it's 4 o'clock."
"So?" You replied, trying not to fall asleep.
"I want to see the sunrise with you... One last time."
__________
It's been over a week since you've seen him. Over a week since you've talked to him. Over a week since he stopped replying to your texts.
As the days went by, worry and anxiety consumed you, the memory of your mom not helping your condition. You dropped by the hospital almost everyday, only to be greeted by the same answer day after day.
"We're sorry, but Kim Taehyung-ssi is currently not available or accepting visitors at the moment."
It annoyed you to no end. Yet you were currently in the lobby in the evening, asking for him, once again.
"I'm looking for Kim Taehyung," you said, not expecting anything. "Is he available today?"
To your surprise, the lady motioned for you to go ahead. What seemed like sympathy was in her eyes, and her gentle gaze followed you until went into the elevator. When you stepped out on the right floor, you instinctively walked towards his door, barging in without even knocking.
"Tae—" The words you were about to say were forgotten when you saw the sight before you. The room was empty. Not only that, but it was cleaned up nicely. It was as if no one had ever been in there.
But your gaze was pinned on one thing. All of your attention was on a medium sized package that lay in the middle of the expertly-made bed. Before you knew it, you were standing at the edge of the bed and reaching for the package. Under the package lay an envelope, which was the color of your favorite shade of purple.
You picked it up, the envelope brushing against your fingers. You gently ripped it open and a black paper folded into thirds fell into your hands. You lifted the top fold up, and words written in white ink filled your vision.
To: The moon
This may turn out to be quite a long letter, but bare with me, moon. I met a girl recently, and she reminds me of Jimin and Yoongi-hyung, small, caring, and can definitely take care of herself. She asked me to find the woman who was in the car with her. Today, I found out that the woman was her mom. She occupied room 417 but passed away four days ago. Should I tell Y/N how I found out? Should I tell her that I have 'cancer perks' as I call it?
You ripped your eyes away from the letter and pocketed it shakily. I can't cry here. You could already feel the tears threatening to fall any moment. Cancer. It kept repeating in your head. Cancer.
Trying to get over the fact that Taehyung never told you, you started removing the wrapping from the package. Folding the flaps of the box back, your eyes were greeted with multiple smaller boxes nestled together. Lifting the top box out, you opened it, revealing a stack of pictures facing downwards.
The first photo read: I wanted to apologize to you, Y/N. I'm sorry we couldn't date. I'm sorry I can't kiss you again. I'm sorry I'm leaving you so soon. I'm sorry for leaving you all alone. I'm sorry I can't say 'Happy Birthday' to you. Even so, please don't cry. When you do, you hurt me too. There should be a flash drive with song files. There are two songs that are titled '2!3!' and '4 o'clock'. Those two are dedicated to you. Please listen to them first. I love you, Y/N, don't ever forget that.
You flipped it over, tears on the edge of falling. A tear streaked down your cheek at the picture. It was the picture you wanted him to delete. The picture of your first kiss. The picture of Taehyung and you with the sun peaking out behind you two. In the bottom right corner, the date and time was printed.
10-16-17
4:00AM
"Who are you?"
You looked towards the entrance at the sudden question, and saw a man with flowers clutched in his hand.
"Wait, are you Y/N?" His eyes lit up with recognition. You nodded slightly, the picture still held by your shaky hands. Then his expression turned soft. "I'm Jung Hoseok, one of Taehyung's friends. He talked a lot about you when we were talking. It was very clear you meant a lot to him."
"Why are you telling me this?" Your voice was trembling, and came out as a hoarse whisper, but Hoseok somehow managed to catch your words.
"I really am sorry that I'm the one who has to tell you this, but I don't know how I should say this." He bit his bottom lip before saying something you never wanted to hear. "Y/N, Taehyung... His heart stopped beating this morning at four o'clock."
You stood there, staring at Hoseok with dull, blank eyes, shock consuming you.
One of your worst nightmares had become a reality.
And the worst part was, it happened on your twenty-third birthday.