Loss,Movement & Suicide : Final
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( Your POV)
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After another awkward confrontation to Jenner about the virus as well as it's details whether big or small, we wondered if he'd managed any discoveries during his long while in this facility alone. He was silent for a bit before letting out a long sigh, followed by him telling us to follow him into the big room. His sigh had me very worried but none the less I followed as well with Carl by my side. Some were still walking slowly over finding a spot to stand or lean against, meanwhile I looked up to a large black screen in the middle of the room. Is he gonna show us a video? Jenner spoke to the computer voice thingy once again once he noticed he had all of our attention.What did he call it again? VI?
"Give me a playback of TS-19."
"Playback of TS-19,"a couple of beeping noises went off before multiple blue-ish images appeared on the majorly over sized display. Jenner looked over at us but his eyes were specifically aimed at me. "Few people ever got a chance to see this.....Very few."
I looked away from him and focused on the screen and I realized the image was a 3D view of humans skulls. Wait a second...are they alive? Carl,who had been standing a bit behind me closer to his mom spoke up,"Is that a brain?"
Jenner didn't even glance over at Carl, he kept his eyes glued to the display as he reponded softly, "It's an extraordinary one." Again he let out a sigh, it wasn't hard to see he had no hope within himself. But maybe just maybe I could change that. "Not that it matters in the end." I had opened my mouth to question what he had just said but before I could he interrupted by talking to VI again."Take us in for E.I.V."
"Enhanced internal view."
The main screen changed once again to show the upper shoulders and head of a person,it then went into a horizontal view before zooming in. Don't tell me I'm right....Once it zoomed in I realized that we were looking inside the skull,ever detail was clear as day. But why was what I couldn't sop thinking about.
"Woah."
"Keep watching," Jenner spoke under his breath to me as he now stood to my right. I nodded subtly before going back to staring at the screen. The skull,appeared to be lit with bright blue threads of energy, some parts more vibrant than others but these threads ran throughout the skull. Suddenly the view was zoomed in more to the point of distinguishing the different pulses of light. It's the brains activity of a person that living. Never thought I'd see the live action of a person's brain.
"What are those lights?" Hearing the voice I looked back at Shane who met eyes with me for a second before immediately looking away and up at the screen.
I rolled my eyes at his childish antics towards me and instead faced the screen and listened to Jenner's response," It's a person's life, everything they are. Their experiences, memories,thoughts. Its all of that....everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light, is you," he glanced over at me again,"this is the thing that makes you unique and human."
Daryl who had been standing behind me after Lori pulled Carl away from what she deemed disturbing, crossed his arms before talking to Jenner who had turned to face the group, "You don't make sense...ever."
I stifled a laugh to which Daryl lightly shoved me in a playful manner, Jenner ignored this and decieded to simply respond. "Those are synapses. Electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages and they determine everything a person says, does or thinks from the moment of birth to the moment of death."
"Death?" Rick began to walk closer to the screen where Jenner and I was, "What is this, a vigil?"
"Yes,"he said it so silently as if afraid to admit it. I imagine anyone farther back couldn't hear so he then glanced back at everyone else and spoke clearly, "Or rather, it is the playback of a vigil."
This information seemed to peak Andrea's interest,"This person died? Who?"
Jenner stopped himself from sighing again and closed his eyes as he went over the details, " Test subject 19. Someone who was bitten and infected... and volunteered....to have us record the process." I didn't need too look at Andrea. I could see in my mind Andrea's eyes facking back her tears and sadness." VI, Scan forward to the first event."
"Scanning to first event."
The screen showed a message that said Scanning Forward.I watched as the center if the brain began to darken,almost like black roots were growing inside while everything else shined blue.
"What is that?" Glenn and I spoke at the same time causing Glenn to blush but I didn't notice,the other woman did of course to ontinue teasing him. Or at this point they just needed something lght hearted and normal. I was too focused on the images in front of me to care. I was too busy watching as the subject began to love around. In pain I believe. They would open their mouth as if they couldn't breathe, pratically gasping for air. They continued to move their upper body struggling to cling to life.
Jenner looked over at me, blantanty this time and the others did notice as I could feel their eyes on us," It invades the brain like meningitis. The adrenal glands hemorrhage, the brain goes into shutdown, then the major organs and finally-," I watched as the entire brain became black,the subject had gone motionless and lay dead. "-death. Everything you ever were or ever will be.....gone, just like that." My eyes went back and forth between him and the screen, meanwhile he just stayed looking at me.
Sophia , Carols little girl whispered in innocence but it seemed to break Carols heart a bit more."Is that what happened to Jim?"
"Y-Yes,sweetie."
Everyone in the room became silent. But I could hear everyones heartbeats. Andrea began to tear up after seeing the death caused by the virus. Jenner noticed Andrea's reaction,and before he could question it Lori answered that she had lost her sister two days ago.After attempting to console her by softly stating he understood her pain as he had lost someone as well, he stepped away from her and back to the screen."Scan to the second event."
I walked over to be at his side and barely above a whisper I spoke so that only he could hear,"What is this now?"
He side glanced at me and whispered as well, "What I imagine should have happened to you, or possibly is happening with alterations of activity."
"Alterations?"
Before he could answer my curiosity, again, he spoke loudly for everyone to understand what was about to be shown. "The resurrection times vary wildly. We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard of was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute... seven seconds."
He gestured for me to watch with his hand motioning up to the screen. I complied though I was fighting off asking so many questions. With wide eyes I viewed a red tiny glow flicker at the base of the brain. Underneath all the black that had taken over there began to be the reactivation of light. But it was not the same. Random sparks began to shoot out into the larger portion of the brain but no further lights grew,this was all.
Lori sat up straighter staring in disbelief, "It restarts the brain?"
Jenner quickly shot down her speculation, "No, just the brain stem. Basically it gets them up and moving. There is no real speech, no memories or characteristics to go along with it. It's...just a body."
Rick walled over to Jenner this time, slightly pushing me out of the way, "But they're not alive?" Jenner gestured for him to answer his own question. Rick only shook his head,"It's nothing like before,most of the brain in dark."
"Dark, lifeless, dead. The frontal lobe, the neo cortex, the human aspect of the brain with aspirations, that doesn't come back. The you part doesn't return." He looked in my direction as he said this," Just a shell driven by mindless instinct."
I looked to the floor momentarily,Does that mean that if I ever got cured I would die anyway? That sickness is the only thing keeping me alive now ,but it's also what killed me.
Looking back up I saw the subject move. Their body was beginning to twitch to life. Their mouth began to open and close as the subject moved its head from side to side. The entire body seemed ready to get up and attack like every other walker I'd seen. At least that was until a guns barrel appeared at its forehead. My nightmare. Not a second later a bullet ran through its head,tearing away at the red clusters of light before everything in the brain went dark again and the subject went limp. Their head slamming back against the table.
Carol shuddered,"God. What was that?"
Andrea answered,"He shot his patient in the head. Didn't you?"
Jenner ignored her question and instead spoke to VI," VI, Power down the main screen and the workstations."
"You have no idea what it is, do you?"
Jenner looked over at Andrea before looking down,"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal-"
Jacqui spoke up with no hope of living in her voice anymore," Or the wrath of God?"
Jenner barely glanced over at anyone as he stared up at the now black screen. He then looked over at me as he replied to Jacqui, "There is that too..."
Andrea wasn't done though, she walked forward towards him and in a way pointing as interrogating him. She couldn't take the thought of the word really being done for. "Somebody must know something. Somebody somewhere! It can't just be you!"
Carol chimed in but I remained silent as I began to pace back and forth.
"There are others, right? Other facilities?"
Jenner simply shrugged as he watched me pace back and forth thinking about who knows what, "There may be some...people like me."
Rick, who sounded slightly annoyed at the fact that we came here for no reason ,spoke,"But you don't know? How can you not know?"
Jenner sighed before speaking in his monotone voice, "Everything went down. Communications, directives,all of it. I've been in the dark for almost a month about anything going on outside my space."
"So it's not just here. There's nothing left anywhere? Nothing? That's what you're really saying, right?" "Jesus."
I stopped pacing and laid against on of the cubicles near Daryl who decided to voice his, no helpful opinion," Man, I'm gonna get shitfaced drunk again."
I slapped his arm to which he glared over at me,"I wouldn't be eager to get drunk just yet redneck." He smirked at me calling him a redneck,I just ignored it.
Dale,who seemed to have been the only one to notice a bright red timer counting down,questioned the man,"Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but...that clock,it's counting down. What happens at zero?"
Jenner paused before speaking,after swallowing be nervously spoke," The basement generators, they run out of fuel."
Rick, catching onto the suspicious behavior spoke up,"And then?" Jenner ignored everyone looks,including mine,I got up to go after him but Daryl gripped onto my arm." VI, what happens when the power runs out?"
"When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur."
My eyes slightly widened, "Is he trying to kill us all?" No one heard me as everyone scrambled either to their rooms or to find where the generators were. I was dragged along but eventually I escaped the red necks grip and found Lori. She was in her bedroom waving her arms under an air vent, trying to feel a flow. Everything is starting to shut down.
Carl spoke up just as I had lightly closed the door,"Mom? Something wrong?"
"Uh, nothing. It's just...the air conditioning stopped."
Using my nose to find Jenner by his scent, I ran through the halls then up a couple stairs to where I found Jenner. He was simply sitting at a desk with a photo in his hands of a beautiful woman. He stared at it longingly with the saddest eyes I had ever seen. The light behind his eyes had long but gone out," I did the best I could in the time that I had. I hope you'd be proud of that." I was frozen at his words, that was his wife wasn't it. I watched as he tore up the photograph he was holding before picking up his work badge and walking over to the large windows of his office.He noticed me in the reflection as he looked down on the big room.
"Why are you doing this Jenner? I'm alive and...and I became one of them but I'm still Alive! I'm here! Isn't this what youve been waiting for?" He smiled sadly at me, it felt like a pitying smile you give a child when you're about to give them bad news. "Are you not going to help me, I could have a cure and you're just going to give up?" My voice cracked at the end of my sentence.
"There can be no cure," I gave him a questioning look. He'd be ominous from the start but he always got to the point eventually. But this... this time since the first time we'd met him he spoke with real emotion. Not the blad lifeless voice of having given up, "Everyone is already infected."
"What,"I took a step forward,"What do you mean everyone is infected!?"
"No matter how you die you'll always come back as a walker, there is no cure and there'll never be one."
"No...no no no! That cant be true,"I took another step forward,at this he seemed to look away from me completely,"What about what happened to me? Is that not a chance right in front of you to save the few people left,to give people more time?"
Jenner glanced back at me with broken sullen orbs. Its all gone behind his eyes, his heart. All that hope isnt it? "We always think there's gonna be more time,"he sighed just as the power wired down,"and then.. it runs out."
"You're going to destroy this place...aren't you?" He didn't answer and only turned to fully face my figure,"I never saw you as a person to give up,but I guess every human has their limits ,huh."
He ignored my final statement as he walked straight passed me and out the door,after a couple minutes of me glaring at the spot he stood at only moment ago I turned and rushed after him.I found him with a bottle of liquor in his hand with everyone following him in fright. No one knew what the hell was going on or why in the world the power was beginning to shut down.No one but me. "Zone 5 is shutting itself down."
"Hey, what the hell does that mean!', Jenner ignored Daryl which only made him much much angrier." Hey, man, I'm talking to you. What do you mean it's shutting itself down? How can a building do anything?"
"You'd be surprised,"Jenner muttered under his breath before taking another drink from the bottle of liquor.
After this I noticed Rick,TDogg,Glenn and Shane come running to catch up to the rest of us,they must have barely come back from searching through the generators.Noticing me,Glenn rushed over to my side as we continued to follow and question Jenner."Jenner,whats happening?"
" The system is dropping all the nonessential uses of power. It's designed to keep the computers running to the last possible second. That started as we approached the half-hour mark. Right on schedule." Jenner seemed to take one last drink from the bottle before pausing in his step and handing the bottle back to Daryl who angrily snatched it out of Jenner's hand.
I slightly glared over at Daryl,"Dammit Daryl, I told you not to fucking drink."He only shrugged at me before drinking from it,Whatever.
"It was the french,"we all gave Jenner a confused look,what the hell was he talking about now."They were the last ones to hold out as far as I know. While our people were bolting out the doors and committing suicide in the hallways, they stayed in the labs till the end. They thought they were close to a solution."
"Well,"all eyes moved to Jacqui,"What ..what happened?"
He finished walking up the stairs of the platform before looking back at us,"The same thing that's happening here. No power grid. Eventually it will run out of juice,"he began to talk without a care in the world," The world runs on fossil fuel. I mean, how stupid is that?"
And that right there set off Shane,he dashed up the steps prepared to pummel the shit out of Jenner for his words and actions,"Let me tell you what-." Rick luckily gripped Shane's shoulders before turning to face the rest of us,"To Hell with it, Shane. I don't even care. Lori, grab our things. Everybody, get your stuff. We're getting out of here, now!!"
Right as everyone seemed to set off to grab whatever the hell they brought with them inside we all froze in fear as an alarm sounded off. A red blaring light was seen flashing right as the large screen turned on showing a timer counting down from 30." 30 minutes to decontamination."
"You know I really don't like that computer," I stated only to have Glenn pull me off the platform as everyone began to run to their rooms and grab their things. Me and Glenn froze though as the exit suddenly closed with Rick stadning in front of it in disbelief.
"No," I watched as Rick slammed the door, "Did-Did you just lock us in??? Guys he locked us in!" I grabbed hold of Glenns hand to try and calm him down. Ya that didn't work, it was just wishful thinking. As Glenn internally freaked out I went back onto the platform to see Daryl come at Jenner.
I ran over to try and stop him,"You son of a bitch! You locked us in here!! You lying-."Thankfully I had help from Shane and TDogg to pull Daryl away from Jenner.
"Daryl stop, this isn't helping!"
After pulling him away enough,I noticed everyone had already come back with their bags packed. I stayed near Daryl in case he decided to -attempt to- murder Jenner again. Rick, having gotten over the shock of the door slamming close and Daryl almost beating the shit out of the doctor, stomped over to Jenner. He had that I'm in command look in his eyes again. "Jenner,open that door,Now."
"There's no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed,"Dale pleaded him to just open it manually or whatever but it seemed he had a response for that too. Besides being a broken loony man. Ya I never did like science people. " That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you once that front door closed, it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that. It's better this way. "
"Jenner,"recognizing my voice he looked over at me,"How is killing people that don't wanna be dead yet better."
He didn't answer,instead he faced his computer screen and began to click his keyboard. This made both Shane and Rick even more angry if that was possible. Shane kicked at the doctors chair as Rick yelled in his face," What happens in 28 minutes?!"
The doctor,completely out of character from what I had seen stood up and began to shout at all of us," You know what this place is?! We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox! Ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want getting out! Ever!" I reached behind me for my knife as Jenner sat back down seeming to have composed himself." In the event of a catastrophic power failure—in a terrorist attack, for example—H.I.T.s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out....."
"H.I.T.S ?"
Jenner seemed far to annoyed,stressed,angry to even respond so he left it up to his computer to answer Ricks question,"H.I.T.s—high-impulse thermo baric fuel-air explosives consist of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen at between 5,000 degrees and 6,000 degrees and is useful when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired."As the computer spoke everyone began to hug,realization set in that they might die today.
"In short," I began only to have him cut me off and finish. " It sets the air on fire. No pain,"Carol and her daughter began to cry in fear," An end to sorrow, grief...regret. Everything." No one spoke,instead they looked at Jenner as if he were the devil.
Daryl threw his bottle at the locked door,"Open the damn door!" It didn't take long for Shane to come running over to the door with an axe in hand, someone tossed one over at Daryl and the two began to hit the door as strongly as they could but even I could see no even a dent was being made.
"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher."
"Well your head ain't !" All the guys rushed to push Daryl back. When he wouldn't stop I stood up from the floor to wrap my arms around Daryl's torso,seeing it was me and realizing the situation only reminded him that he had almost killed me back at camp.In turn he dropped the axe onto the floor and backed away from everyone,though he never withdrew his glare from Jenner's form. "I'm gonna kill him."
Hearing his breathing slow down to its regular motion I pulled away and looked up at him,"Im pretty sure this building detonation is going to get to him first."
Jenner ignored the fact that he was almost murdered,again, and instead directed his attention to Rick," You do want this. Last night you said you knew it was just a matter of time before everybody you loved was dead. "
I froze in shock,as did Lori realizing what was just said,"What the hell Rick."
Rick turned to look at me before having his attention taken by Shane who couldn't believe what he was hearing," What? You really said that? After all you're big talk?" I never thought Id agree with Mr.Anger Management but what the hell was Rick thinking! Was he just faking his hope this entire time?
"I had to keep hope alive ,didn't I ?" Jenner only looked at Rick, "There is no hope. There never was." Rick refused to believe him though," There's always hope. Maybe it won't be you, maybe not here but somebody somewhere-"
"What part of "Everything is gone" do you not understand Rick." Andrea met eyes with me,it was like having a full on conversation with her,she was saying goodbye for a final time. No,Andrea don't.
" Listen to your friend. She gets it. This is what takes us down. This is our extinction event. " It was silent,no one knew what to say anymore.Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shane walk off the platform,I was on the floor again so I couldn't see what he was doing.
Finally, Carol,who had been cradling her crying child as if it were the final time spoke to Jenner,"This isn't right. You can't just keep us here." "One tiny moment,a millisecond. No pain." "My daughter doesn't deserve to die like this." "Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate just to hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?"
"No,it's not."Jenner turned towards me as someone sped up the platform."You don't give up your life, you regret it when you do."
"You do when there is truly nothing left,you lost everything and everyone you could ever care about,"I heard the guys begin to rush over to Shane who had run onto the platform with a gun ready to shoot Jenner's brains out.I had all the womens attention,including Daryl,Glenn's and Dale's."Look at what happened to you because you tried to keep going,now you're alone."
I tightened my hand around my knife,"You-"
"Shane NO!" I was pulled away from the platform by Carl who I hadn't even noticed gripped my hand,Shane had pushed Rick out of the way as he pointed his shotgun at Jenner's head," Out of the way, Rick! Stay out of my way! Open that door or I'm gonna blow your head off. Do you hear me?" I watched as a maniac look overtook Shane's eyes,lori and Rick attempted to calm him down when he began to yell loudly and shoot at all the monitors.Everyone ducked down,I continued watching but my eyes wondered over to Jenners who looked straight at me with that pitying look again.Why i mouthed to him but he only looked away.After an awkward conversation about Jenner's wife,who turned out to be the test subject that we watched earlier, being the only reason for why Jenner tried to do anything at all,he opened the door that Daryl had gone to hit over and over again.The second the doors open everyone grabbed what they brought and began to run out without a second thought,I hung back for everyone to leave first,but I noticed Jacqui just standing there.
"J-Jacqui? Come on,lets go."
She only stared at me with no emotion,since I stayed back I heard Rick and Jenner's final conversation,"There's your chance, take it." " I'm grateful." "The day will come when you won't be,"they went to shake hands but Jenner gripped onto Ricks before pulling him forward so that he could whisper something in his ear. "The infection has already spread to everyone's systems,the second someone in your group dies,it wont matter if they've been bit or scratched.This sickness is already inside waiting for the moment of death and no matter what they will come back."
I froze,I hadn't expected Jenner to tell Rick anything about that but he did and now Rick was frozen on the spot having lost any hope he had left.Lori rushed back to drag Rick away as Glenn began to yell at everyone to leave." Hey, we've got four minutes left! Come on! Y/N hurry up,i'm not leaving you here!"
I nodded at Glenn before looking at Jenner ,"Goodbye Jenner." Said man looked over at me with a sorrow filled smile,"I hope you tell them on your own,if someone else does it first you might be killed for good." I looked down at the floor before feeling a hand grab me,"I know!"
Looking up I realized Glenn had rushed back down to grab onto me,I smiled as we began to rush out the door,not before I noticed that Jacqui had pulled away from TDogg,"Jacqui please don't do this!"
"You're not staying,that's insane!!" yelled TDogg as he attempted to grab onto her again.
"No, it's completely sane. For the first time in the long time. I'm not ending up like Jim and Amy. There's no time to argue. And no point, not if you want to get out. Just get out. Get out. "After having her push him away one last time Shane grabbed onto him and everyone rushed out.Looking back I noticed Dale stay behind because Andrea had decided to opt out as well."Just go,Go!" That answers why she was saying goodbye to me earlier.
With a final look back we all ran out and up flights of stairs until we ended up in the room we had entered from. It was day light outside now and we could see our vehicles,it seemed luck wasn't on our side today,again, because the doors to get out wouldn't budge.Along with Daryl and Shane I ran over to the glass panels that surrounded the front and began to slam into them with whatever I could find but nothing seemed to work."Everyone get down!"
As much as I hated Shane I listened,I went over to were Glenn and Sophia were just as Shane shot at the glass panels,nothing happened except it ricochet off the window."What is this building made of?" Glenn ignored my comment as Sophia only looked up in horror,"The glass wont break?" "No it wont."
We all stood up and I went back over to the glass trying to break through it with a pole I had found on the ground,Carol approached Rick with her bag in hand," Rick, I have something that might help." After ignoring Shane's sexist comment of the day by stating that her nail file wouldn't be helpful she suddenly pulled out a grenade." Your first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform I found this in your pocket."
I dropped the pole at the sight of the grenade,"Carol your'e a life saver!" After handing it over to Rick everyone went to duck down near the lobby as Rick removed the pin and placed the grenade at the window sill."Everyone get down!!"
Hearing my yell,which doesn't usually happen everyone duck and covered,I watched as Rick ran and jumped just in time as the explosion went off shattering the one glass panel.Better than nothing in this instance."Everyone move,now,lets go ,lets go!"
Daryl and Glenn both pushed me in front making sure I wouldn't run back inside to kill myself like Jacqui and Andrea as everyone else followed us.I noticed the noise had attracted a few walkers so I pulled out two guns and began to take them down clearing the path for everyone else."Wheres Dale?"
"Probably trying to convince Andrea to come out."
Glenn looked over at me worried,"What if he doesn't convince her in time?" I looked away and instead began to shoot at other walkers near the vehicles."Then I guess they with both go out together today."
Once we reached the vehicles I pushed Glenn into the RV before rushing after Daryl as we had been in the same vehicle,"Come on Andrea,"I whispered to myself as I caught up with Daryl.I had already jumped inside when I realized that two bodies had come running out of the facility and were close to reaching the RV.Its gonna explode in three seconds.Sticking my head out the window I yelled,"GUYS GET DOWN!"
I watched as they jumped behind a small wall of dirt filled bags,before I could see what else was about to happen Daryl pulled me to his side before ducking down as well.I didn't have time to react as I felt the floor begin to shake and then a loud explosion as the entire building went up in flames as it began to crumble into millions of pieces.Once it stopped Daryl slowly sat back up with me in his arms,I looked over at the mess seeing that nothing had even been close to hitting any of the vehicles,"Was that really necessary?"
He only smirked at me before letting me go and turning on his truck,following the three cars in front of us we sped off,i looked in the rear view mirror to see Shane in his jeep behind us looking disheveled.He must have ducked down in fright too. As we drove away I couldn't help but watch as the building continued to stay aflame with its dark smoke covering the sky,smiling sadly I whispered under my breath,"Goodbye,I will never forget you both."
I had a feeling Daryl heard me and the sadness in my voice as he placed his hand over mine,for a redneck he can be quite sweet,I thought back to him almost killing Jim and doctor Jenner cause of his anger,Ok not always sweet,but sometimes.