Chapter 6
I give up.
He’s too amazing.
Who was I kidding?
Really?
Honestly?
I need Jace. He’s a part of me.
He is amazing. In every way.
Jace and I kissed for a very long time. It was like we couldn’t get enough of each other.
At some point I became aware of what was happening, Jace’s shirt had come off, and his hands were at the hem of mine, awaiting permission. I nodded and it was gone in a second.
I felt Jace's hands traveling up my body and I let them, my fingers traced his hard abs.
Jace bit me, not my neck, but my bottom lip. It was still hard enough to draw blood, so as he sucked my lip into his mouth I honestly felt a little woozy with desire for him.
My hands flew to his jean’s zipper. I couldn’t help myself, I was becoming intoxicated by him.
He pulled away.
“Stop.” He ordered, swatting my hands from his pants.
“What?” I asked, immediately self-conscious. “Y-you don’t want to.. you don’t want me.. you… why?”
Shock hit his face. “NO! believe me, I do want to, I do want you, but I…I.. can’t have you.”
I didn’t know how I felt about that. In the moment all I wanted was him, but was it just the flirt of his bite?
“Why?”
“Because, so much could go wrong, I could hurt you! I could go into frenzy and rip you to pieces, I could drain you! I could end up changing you.”
My words shocked me. “Maybe you should change me.” Jace’s mouth flopped open.
“B-b-but, then I’d have to find another feeder, plus our bond, Holly, the dreams and the feelings and the way we know each other, what if that’s severed when I change you? I don’t think I could live without this, even if your still here, I couldn’t live without the bond.”
I had no idea he felt so much for me.
He looked straight into my eyes. I looked away.
“I should probably go.”
“No. They’re feeding. I’m not taking you back there yet.” His eyes were hard.
“Then what are we going to do until I can go back?” I asked.
“I don’t know, but let’s do something fun.” He suggested.
“We were doing something fun.” I said. “For a while.”
“I have a trampoline. We could go jump?”
Fun fact: I ADORE trampolines. They are my passion. I used to have one, and I could do so many tricks.
My face lit up. “Okay!”
Hen Jace said he had a trampoline I didn’t know he meant a whole room with a stretch of trampoline as floor. The only place in the whole room that wasn’t bouncy was a small alcove in the wall cut about a meter off the ground, it was padded with pillows and just big enough for two people. There was another spot cut into the wall were there was a built in IPod dock. Jace bounced over, tossed his shoes into the sitting area and then turned up the music.
We jumped. And jumped. And jumped.
You may not know this, but vampires are naturally high jumpers. The room was in the base of one of the towers, and there was no ceiling, when Jace jumped, he went higher than the walls. When he came down, he launched me up, and I went just as high.
One time, when I was coming down he jumped quickly again, throwing off my landing. Apparently the face I made as I landed on my butt was funny, because it sent Jace into hysterics. One thing I’ve learned about Jace, when he’s not being really serious, he’s just a really tall little kid.
Eventually I got really tired and plopped down onto my back in the middle of the trampoline, watching Jace disappear practically into the clouds and then reappear.
He landed neatly next to me and we lay there for a really long time.
“Am I ever going to meet your parents?” I ask.
“I only have a dad, my mom’s dead.” He replied. “But maybe someday you can meet him.”
I turned to face him and found he was already looking at me. “Does he know about me?” I ask. “Did you tell him you have feelings for a human?” I looked back up at the darkening clouds; it looked like any second it could start down pouring.
“Yes, he knows, there’s very little that goes on in this kingdom he doesn’t know.” He confessed.
“Does he approve?”
He didn’t say anything for so long I thought maybe he hadn’t heard my question.
“He doesn’t understand, he thinks feeders are like Twinkies, totally delicious but not really worth much to you. He says if I want his approval I should change you, but he doesn’t get that there’s never been a bond like this and it’s fragile, so it might break if I do change you.”
“All you had to say was no.”
Thunder crashed. It was like the sky opened up and it suddenly started pouring buckets. In two seconds I was soaked.
“How does this place not flood every time it rains?” I shout over the roaring of the downpour,
Jace grabs my hand and pulls me to the sheltered alcove. We collapse into the pillows.
“The floor isn’t solid; it’s like any trampoline, a bunch of stretchy fabric woven tightly together. It just drains though and then filters out to the moat.”
...............................................................................................
We sat and watched the rain for a very long time.
I was settled comfortably in Jace’s arms. I knew whenever I was there, in his arms, my brain became mush, but I couldn’t help it.
“I think you should risk it.” I said.
He didn’t even move, didn’t even look at me.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because even if we do lose the bond we’ll still have each other, and if you don’t, sooner or later you’re going to drain me. You won’t be able to help it.”
“Holly, I, I don’t know. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Jace, if you change me, we’ll have your dad’s approval, you don’t have to say it for me to know that’s important to you.”
He just nodded.
“Jace if you change me we can –”
He groaned and shot out into the rain. He jumped up and down and basically had a fit. I stood and when he came down from a jump I grabbed his hands.
“Why are you throwing a fit?”
“Because damnit! You have no idea how much I want to change you now just because you’ve said that! I was dying for you earlier but I couldn’t have you because you’re a human and now you’re just going around offering to give it all up! I can’t change you Holly. I can’t! You need to get as far away from me as fast as possible! You need to go home, you need to go to university, and then get a job and raise a family and you can’t do that with me! For shit sake, I knew this all along too, someday I was going to have to give you up and now I’ve gone and fallen in love with you and you want me to change you! I can’t! I can’t keep you! You’re not mine to keep. I know your dying to see your family, but I know you’d throw away your future in the blink of an eye as long as I promised to never let you go, you have to quit me like your tried to before, but it has to wok this time.”
He continued to ramble and I blocked it out. He loves me. He thinks I can have a better future without him. He’s willing to let me go if I live my life right.
I know if Jace lets me go I’ll never find him again.
I looked up into his wide ocean blue eyes.
I grabbed his face and I pulled it to mine.
I kissed him harder than I ever have before.
“Holly, don’t you get it?” he said against my lips, holding my face now in his strong hands. “This can’t be. We can’t be. You have to go!”
“Shut up.” I said.
I bit my bottom lip where he’d bit it before, so hard that I bled.
He immediately sucked it into his mouth and he could no longer speak.
I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his waist and hiking myself up further.
Jace stumbled with me in his arms, towards the alcove filled with pillows.
I broke away for a moment. I looked into his eyes and said;
“Change me.”