Chapter 12
All the Choices
"It's not your choice, simple as that."
•••
Peyton
A choice. We always have a choice, sometimes it feels as if we don't but we do. It's just in those times the choice is hard, or just not fair. But it's still a choice, something you are in control of. It might be one of the few things you are in control of, but nonetheless it's up to you to make.
So why is it that in a lot of choices we feel like we don't get a say? That others think you are not even capable of making the right one? That you are seen as not important or like a child? When in reality we can make decisions for ourselves, yes sometimes they're not the right ones but we learn. How are we supposed to grow if were never allowed to make the mistakes on our own?
I had choices to make and even if they aren't what others want they are what I wanted. It was my choice, not theirs.
•••
When the next day arrived it felt like I didn't even get sleep. I mean I didn't, I was spending the night with my stressed out thoughts. They refused to let me sleep, I was stuck thinking of the choice I had to make. Each had their backlashes, consequences, and regrets no doubt. Didn't all choices?
"Hey did you sleep?" Serenity asked as she woke up.
I shook my head, "No, couldn't."
She looked at me with her eyes half closed. She yawned before stretching, Serenity then looked at me.
"Your doctors appointment is at 8 we should get ready." She reminded me.
She then got up and went into my bathroom with her suitcase. She was supposed to leave tonight but she postponed it. Serenity claimed that she needed to be here for me until everything was all resolved.
I got up and went over to my closet, I stopped at the mirror and looked at myself. I stared at my stomach, nothing was really visible I mean that's not a shock. But soon it would be, I would be different and so would my life. I shook off my thoughts and opened up my closet.
I chose some leggings and and a denim button up. Serenity then got out of the bathroom after I got changed. We switched places for I needed to use the bathroom. I fixed my hair and makeup and was about to leave before I had the urge to throw up.
I rushed over to the sink and threw up, I definitely did not like the morning sickness. I mean it just started yesterday but I knew it wouldn't be the last. I cleaned up before walking out of the bathroom and slipping on my shoes.
I then walked into the living room where I seen Madison and Serenity drinking coffee. They were both ready to go.
"You're going too?" I asked referring to Madison whom I thought would be asleep.
She nodded, "Yeah I need to be in the loop, gotta be there for you ya know. Emotional support."
"Thank you." I said.
I was going to grab a mug but Serenity slapped my hand. I took it back and glared at her as my hand throbbed with main. Jeez she hit me hard.
"What was that for?" I asked.
"You can't have coffee when you're pregnant." She said.
"I thought you could have only one a day?" Madison asked.
"Let's just go and double check, god I don't know why I'm going. I hate hospitals but for you I'll go so if we could please just get it over with. Oh and drink a whole water bottle." Serenity rambled on.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because your bladder needs to be full for the ultrasound." Was all she said before leaving.
Madison and I just shrugged before following Serenity out of the house. We then went into her Range Rover.
"Oh do you think we'll see that cute doctor?" Serenity brought up.
I shrugged, "I'm not sure but kind of hoping not."
Her eyebrows furrowed, "What? Why not?"
"Perhaps the fact that I'm pregnant? Kind of something guys never want to hear if they wanted to go out with a girl." I informed her.
She looked over and had a smirk on her face, "So you want to go out with him?"
I then felt heat creep up to my cheeks, "No I was just saying because we don't know each other and he was kind of being flirty. That's all."
"Mmhmm she has the hots for him, he's like a real life McDreamy." Serenity said.
I rolled my eyes, "That's a reach."
"Oh you know you were thinking it too." Madison told me.
We arrived at the hospital and went to the maternity ward. I wanted to move quickly because I knew we wouldn't see him there. I mean he was in a different ward when we came, I doubt he's a OBGYN as well.
We got inside the maternity ward and you can see how different this ward was. I mean it was all cute and nice, I'm sure to ease the parents. We walked on over to the desk and waited for the nurse to acknowledge me.
"Hi how can I help you?" She asked as she looked up at me.
"I have an appointment at 8." I told her as I looked at the time which read 7:55 am.
"Miss Ellis?" She asked.
I nodded, "Great just fill out the paperwork and the doctor should be out as soon as she's done." She told me.
I took the paperwork and we all walked over to the waiting area. We sat down and I began to fill out all of my information.
"This area isn't so bad." Serenity said letting us know she didn't hate this part of the hospital.
"I don't know whether to feel proud for you or a little creeped that the baby area happens to be your favorite." Madison joked.
A good ten minutes went by and I finished the paperwork before handing it back to the nurse. I then walked back towards the girls and stared at the door. My leg was bouncing up and down in anticipation.
"Hey chill out, what's wrong?" Serenity asked me.
I shook my head, "Nothing."
"Then why are you nervous?" She asked.
"I'm not nervous." I answered. Liar.
"Mmhmm that's why your leg is bouncing up and down? You only do that when you're nervous." She informed me.
I was about to say something but the door opened and a woman walked out. She must've been 40 but had a warm smile nonetheless.
"Peyton Ellis?" She called out.
I stood up with the girls and when the doctors eyes landed on me she smiled. It made me feel a little at ease to see the comfort.
"Right this way." She said as she held the door open for us.
She then lead us to a room where I walked over and sat on the table. The girls sat on the chairs and for some reason I felt like a little kid again. When you had to have checkups and sat on the table, then when the doctor came and started to ask questions you looked to your parents to answer for you. I wish I could do that now but I was a big girl and I had to tell her myself.
"Well it's nice to meet you Peyton I am Doctor Hastings. Today you are here for a confirmation and ultrasound exam right?" She asked.
I nodded in response and she just smiled as she got a tray that had everything she needed to draw blood.
"If this wasn't obvious I will need to take blood." She laughed.
She went to work with getting me all set up to take my blood. All the while she made small talk to not allow the room to grow with silence.
"So who did you bring?" She asked me referring to Madison and Serenity.
She then stuck the needle in my arm, "My friend Madison and my sister Serenity."
"Aw it's nice for the support, if you don't mind me asking will the dad be here?" She asked me.
I shook my head, "Nope not in the picture."
"Ah well with family and friends you don't need a boy right?" She asked with a smile.
"Right." I answered.
Once I was done giving blood she went to take it to get it tested. We waited a while for I'm sure she was going to get the result before doing the other test. When she got back to the room that's when she turned on the monitor giving me my answer.
"So congratulations you are indeed pregnant. We are going to now do an ultrasound, now you won't see anything for it's too early. But we will get an estimate of when you will be due. So here is a gown and I'm going to need you to change in the bathroom." She said as she handed me a robe.
That must mean the ultrasound is not the one going on my stomach but down under. I swallowed nervously before going to the bathroom. I undressed and put on the gown before walking back out.
I looked at the girls and Madison was trying not the laugh while Serenity had a gross expression on her face. God I really hated them right about now.
"Alright hun, sit up and put your feet on the sides. Now this won't hurt at all I promise, a little awkward maybe but it will be quick." She told me.
I just nodded and did as she asked, it felt weird to be so exposed. I mean she does this for a living so it's probably not awkward for her. The girls stood by my side so that they could see the monitor and not my other end. The doctor gave me a warning before putting the ultrasound wand in. I'll admit it was really uncomfortable but she was right it didn't hurt.
Just then we seen the monitor show black and white. We then were able to hear a faint heartbeat, that. That's what made my choice clear, I never understood it. People say they always have their mind set and some go through with it but it does change when you're there. I couldn't explain it.
"So it seems like your due date will probably take place on April 14th." She said.
She even tried to point out where the baby was but that it was too faint to see. The baby wouldn't be visible for another few weeks. She then took out the wand and I sat up so that I was no longer exposed.
"So have you talked to anyone about what you wanted to do? Your choices?" She asked me now in a serious tone.
I looked over at my sister, "Yeah I've thought about my choices and I've decided to keep the baby."
"Great well you can come back in four and a half months so that you are 20 weeks along. You will then be able to see the baby more in detail and also find out the sex. So we are now done, you may get ready and I will see you then!" She said cheerfully.
"Thank you so much Doctor." I told her with a smile as I shook her hand.
"No problem have a great day." She told us before leaving.
I then got up and went to get changed back into my clothes.
"Peyton are you serious?" Serenity asked.
I knew she didn't agree, she did but she thought I'd choose adoption. It's a great idea, especially since I'm 20 and have a lot to do. But it's bad for my family's image especially come my sisters wedding. The sister who ran away, got knocked up, and will raise the baby alone because the Dad is not in the picture.
Yeah I'm sure mom would love to be known for having that kid. Unlike the golden child Serenity that's getting married before having kids.
"Yes I'm sure." I told her.
"But I thought you wanted to live your life?" She asked.
"I do." I answered.
"So this isn't the way." She said as we left the room and walked out.
I rolled my eyes, "Really? I thought it was every 20 year olds dream to get knocked up." I said sarcastically.
We left the maternity ward and headed to the lobby of the hospital.
"Peyton, we can figure out something. Even keep the pregnancy a secret, nobody but us have to know. You can be a normal girl and date the doctor and fall in love, get married, and have kids when you're ready. That sounds like a better plan." She tried to convince me.
"You know you're starting to sound like mom." I told her.
She sighed, "As much as you hate her she was smart. Maybe we should tell her, she'd know what to do."
I stopped and looked at her, "Why? Why do you not want me to have this kid so bad? Is it because you think I'll steal your spotlight at your wedding? News flash Serenity I'm more than capable at making my own decisions. I had a few choices and I chose what I wanted. Not what you wanted or what mom would've wanted. It's not your choice, simple as that."
"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to sound mean or controlling. I just...I don't want you to regret it later." She apologized.
"That's how people grow Okay? I need to learn and the way to do that is by letting me choose what I want to Okay? Can we please go home? I'm hungry and need to pee." I said feeling angry and hungry.
We were about to leave the hospital when I heard my name being called. Are you kidding me? Just when I thought we made this whole trip without running into him.
"Hey Peyton!" I heard him call.
I turned around and seen him jogging over. The girls walked away but kept close to hear.
"Hi." I said with a smile.
Despite not wanting to run into him, it made me happy when he came over.
"What are you doing here? Stalking me?" He joked.
I rolled my eyes, "No uh my sister needed another epinephrine pen. You know just incase, she's going out of town and wants to be safe."
"Oh well you could've texted I would've given you girls one myself." He told me showing me that charming smile.
"Well one you have my number not the other way around. And two you seem pretty busy." I informed.
He nodded, "Oh yeah two is the reason why I haven't text you back. Busy around here all the time."
"Yeah well don't want to keep you from your busy schedule. I should get going." I told him.
"Alright well I'll text you later? I'm free tomorrow night. I'll text you more about it later." Shawn told me.
I raised my eyebrow, "You're just assuming I'll say yes to tomorrow night?"
"Got you to do it when I hit you in the head with a baseball. I just assumed asking would be better than repeating history don't you think?" He asked.
"Yeah I guess, I'll see you later doc." I said as I backed away.
"Bye Peyton." He said with a wave of goodbye and that charming smile.
I then turned around and left with the girls. And for those few moments of talking to him I forgot why I was originally there. I forgot about the baby, forgot about being pregnant. Was I making the right choice after all?
•••
So making choice isn't easy, they usually never are. You have to deal with the outcome and sometimes it's hard and scary. Or sometimes it could be the best thing that's ever happened to you.
So which was it for me?
Authors Note//
This was a long ass chapter lmfao
Also sorry if you find any mistakes I updated really late
Let me know what you think
Until Next Time Peace Lovelies✌🏼💚