~Dan's POV~
I shook the painkiller pills out of the bottle so easy to make me not be able to feel the pain that happened next. I swallowed the painkillers ever so easily with my body rejecting them once in a while for my better health, but I didn't ' listen. I felt the unneeded pills rush through my soon to be tainted veins.
I put the empty pill bottle into my dresser. I walked out of my bedroom and cracked the door open slightly to peak in on Phil, I could see he was live streaming. I closed the door ever so slightly so he couldn't hear me.
I walked down my corridor and thought to myself: 'Why am I doing this?' I can't come up for an answer for myself. I walked down my staircase to my bathroom I closed the door and locked it behind me. I looked myself in the mirror and stood there looking at myself for moments with a stern face. I knew this would not have been the first time I've done this. 'But it's been so long' I thought. I stared into my pupils getting the courage to do it again. I looked down and took in a deep breath.
I opened the door on the cabinet under the sink and scavenged through the door. I finally found what I was looking for: A razor. I sat on my counter and raised up my black hoodie sleeve and saw the old scars on my arms and decided on a place where I wanted new ones.
I shakingly rose the razor to my left wrist and sliced it, I slammed my hand against the counter and a little squeal of pain not remembering the pain I felt last time. I walked over to the door and peeked through the door. Nobody was there, I could hear Phil still doing a live show. I locked the door again and went back to my place. I raised it again and sliced my wrist again, and yelled ¨Jesus, God!¨ Without realizing how loud I was. I didn't go check the hallway again. I sliced myself one last time tears filling my eyes as I bit my lip. I wrapped my wrist in a bandage and pulled my sleeve down. I wiped my eyes of tears and opened the door to see Phil standing there, looking worried.
¨Uh Dan? Are you alright?¨ Phil asked looking concerned.
¨Oh, yeah.¨ I said lying really quick not sure if he believed me.
¨Are you sure?¨ He asked again.
¨Yes Phil, I'm fine!¨ I snapped. Phil jumped when I yelled at him, I rarely yell at him in anger. ¨Sorry.¨ I said quickly. ¨I'm just really tired from the lack of sleep, maybe I should go to bed.¨
¨That sounds like a plan¨ Phil smiled at me walking me to my room.
¨How was your live show?¨ I asked.
¨Oh it was hilarious! In the comments, someone said 'Phil, your door just opened' and then I said 'If it's a home invader I won't care until I hear the sound of poring cereal, then I'll have him have it!'¨ My face got really red and hot I could feel it, but Phil's giggle and smile always gave me life and happiness. ¨What did you do?¨ He asked looking me right in my face.
¨Oh me? Uh, I sat on my bed and scrolled through the comments on my last video, we have some pretty hilarious followers.¨ We laughed.
I opened my door and held onto my door frame.
¨Goodnight Dan.¨ Phil smiled. ¨Goodnight Phil.¨ I said. I closed my door and put on my sleep pants. I went to take off my hoodie but hesitated to remember my scars. I unwrapped my bandage to see bloodiness stain my arm. I wrapped it back up and rolled my sleeve down. I turned off my lamp and started to get deep thoughts and pictures in my head. That night I cried myself to sleep without anyone knowing.
~Phil's POV ~
I was doing a live show on 'You Now' when I read out loud from the comments ¨Phil, your door just opened.¨ I just shrugged and said ¨If its a home invader I won't care until I hear the sound of poring cereal, then I'll have him have it!¨ I laughed wishing Dan was here with me. I jumped looked back at the sound of a bang and a squeal, but I bet a month just flew into the kitchen and Dan had to kill it.
¨Jesus, God!¨At that moment I knew things weren't alright.
¨Bye guys! Sorry to end so soon!¨ I said in a hurry. I quickly threw my laptop on my bed and walked downstairs to the bathroom, somebody was in there. Seconds later the door opened to see Dan. ¨Dan? Are you okay?¨ I asked my heart beating faster every second.
¨Oh yeah¨ Dan replied casually.
¨Are you sure?¨ I asked giving him the chance to tell the truth.
¨Yes Phil, I'm fine!¨I jumped having 3 heart attacks at once. ¨Sorry, I'm just really tired from the lack of sleep, maybe I should go to bed.¨ He said as I shook my head. Dan asked me about my live show, but when I asked him what he did his face got red and he started to sweat.
We each said goodnight and I slipped into bed not needing to change because I was already in my pajamas. I wasn't sure if Dan was telling the truth about being 'okay.' I got up and quietly cracked his door to see he was checking his wrist. I got scared. 'Was it really what I think it is?' I thought. I watched some more. Dan slipped into bed his body shaking, I knew at this moment he was crying. I didn't know why. 'Why would he lie to me and why was he crying?' I thought. I didn't disturb him. If he didn't tell me the first time, I shouldn't bug him now. I crept back into bed crying myself. I hate to think Dan is in pain and not telling me. I will have to have a talk with him in the morning, but for now, we both cry ourselfs to sleep tonight.