Logan was rigid in my arms and slowly his muscles eased, I could feel it, as he murmured in a daze, "Is it really you Joy?"
"Yes you goofball." I grinned as he pulled me away, his hands clutching my arm to have a good look at me. His eyes bore into me, searching for the honesty, the promise and the love. I nodded faintly, confirming the words he needed to hear, "I'm in love with you Logan, I really am."
And that was when his face split into the widest grin with all teeth and dimples showing, lifted me off the ground almost effortlessly and did a little twirl.
My eyes were locked into his sparkling ones as everything became hazy around us and I giggled. "Put me down Logan before I faint."
He did put me down, but he held me close to him, his arms circled around my waist. "Do you really love me Joy?"
"I love you more than what my poor heart can handle." I cupped his cheeks, stood on my toes and placed a light kiss between his brows. "I love the way all your worry and care for me can be seen at this very spot." I softly kissed his eyelids which fluttered shut. "I love your two puddles of ocean eyes which- yes, exactly the way you look at me like you're doing now." His eyes gleamed as I placed a little kiss on the tip of his nose. "I love how your nose turns red when you're totally pissed at me." His cheeks flamed and smiling, I kissed them too- they were hot under my lips. "I love how I can see everything you feel right here and here." The faint hollow of his dimples deepened when I kissed it. "I love your smile Logan- your happiness." I inched closer to his inviting lips and breathed, "And your lips . . . "
"What about them?" Logan asked thickly, his eyes as dark as the depths of the ocean.
"I-I love the words that tumble out of it." We were so close, our breaths mingled. "So here it is Logan, I'm madly in love with each inch of you."
"Joy . . . " A small smile played on his lips as he stroked my cheeks. "I'm not good with words the way you are---"
"Come on, I was just being cheesy."
"But I loved it, I love you," he said hoarsely. "I love how the-the wind makes your hair stand---"
"It does?" Logan chuckled when I consciously dabbed my hair.
"Listen to me." His tone changed suddenly as he gripped my chin, his other hand sliding down my neck. "I love you Joy, I don't know how else to put it into beautiful words. You make me lose all my shit- my mind and my heart and what not. I felt something drop in me-everything, when you were away all these fucking cold days- like life had sucked out all the warmth and sunshine and rainbows and you. I hated being away from you when I knew you were so near me, I hated that I messed us up."
"No Logan, no." I shook my head firmly as his arms around me tightened. "It was me running- me avoiding my feelings for you. But there's no use thinking about it now, we're here now. We're standing here together like maniacs in the middle of a lovely afternoon, in the middle of the street and in the middle of everything."
"I don't mind," he whispered as he slowly rubbed the freckles dusted across my collarbone.
His gaze was concentrated right there and I sighed. "One of us is dying Logan and it's definitely me- it has to be me. I believe in you Logan, I believe in us or else I wouldn't be here-hey. Look at me you!"
Logan's gaze now flickered to me- he looked right through me intensely and holy poo, I shouldn't have told him to look at me because holy moly poo.
Logan's eyebrows furrowed, his eyes bewildered and innocent, but focused on me- not realizing what magical effect he had on me.
I took a sharp breath. "Okay, okay. What I want is . . . I don't want us to rush into anything only because we don't have enough time. I want us to be like before- go with the flow. Go where the wind takes us. I don't want us to be reckless, I want us to be sensible even when love is not. We have been through a lot- we deserve fun but we need to keep in mind what we have been through. Do you get me Logan?"
"Yeah," he said a bit reproachfully as if angry at me that I still didn't have full faith in him.
"It's not that, you know right?" I slipped my arms around his neck, pushing myself closer to him. I could feel his every part, every awkward curve and plane pressing against me. It felt nice and warm. "I believe in you Logan, like I said, I believe in us or I wouldn't be here. But-But I want you to talk to someone about us, I want us to be careful. We both know the inevitable and I want us to hurt less. I want us to love more- hurt less."
"I know," he said quietly, but not in disappointment. I could see that he fully understood me. "I know Joy, I'm okay with anything you want. I'm happy you're here with me. I'm happy that I get to hold you like this."
Logan was smiling again and I gushed fervently, "Oh God, we're both mad! This is going to end in nothing but a ridiculous, big, silly, tragic heartbreak and there's nothing we'll be able to do! We have completely lost it!"
"I know, it'll be worth it in the end."
"It better be Logan or we'll be added to Buzzfeed's greatest fools of the century." I started to laugh like crazy and Logan did too and before we knew, we both started to bawl miserably like babies.
"Joy stop crying," he mumbled as tears rolled down his cheeks.
"I-I can't, you stop." We didn't stop, we couldn't as the weight of the past had been hoisted off our shoulders flooding us with relief, but the new weight of the future slowly crept on our backs.
We cried as we held each other passionately, our foreheads touching. The last rays of the summer sunshine spilled over our exploding love- caressing our healing hearts and aching soul. The wind swirled around us- shielding us from the sorrows of this wonderfully melancholic world. The vague sound of the waves, the tremor of the leaves, the glowing light of the sky, the shaky sound of the footsteps and the hardness of the street- all things around me was overcome by consuming feelings for one boy-Logan.
We only cried- cried until we were pouring out all of our fears, woes, ecstasies.
It was us battling the evils of human life and losing to love-to brightness and that meant triumphing over the grey demons. We could do it. Our tears were interwoven- our sadness and happiness meshed together as the breeze lifted the glittering salty water from our scarlet cheeks before it trickled down our chins. The tears dissipated in the air of comfort enveloping us as our lips slowly curved upwards- the ghost of a smile appearing like an inky shadow of coolness in blistering heat.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Uncle Desmond and his wife walking down the street, a bunch of white lilies clasped in their frail, old hands. Their enduring story and past could be seen in each wrinkle of their skin and each line etched on their kind faces. I felt the tiniest pang in my heart- a timeless love Logan and I could never have. But then when I looked back at Logan- his eyes shut peacefully, dews of tears sticking to his long lashes and trails of tear stains running down his cheeks, I was overwhelmed by this sudden power and love that I closed my own eyes. This was more than enough- he was more than enough.
We were more than enough for our love was eternal.
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A/N :
I hope this wasn't too mushy lmao, let me know in the comments what you thought about this chapter. Also, do vote, comment and share if you're enjoying this so far!