You walked up the stairs slowly, rocking the precious baby in your arms gently as you entered the room where her cot was. You stood in front of the cot, the room lit up by a few candles as you looked down at Gracie in your arms as she stared back up at you with bright hazel eyes and you smiled.
"Hey, sweetheart. You ready for bed?" You asked softly as she made a cute noise that sounded almost like a laugh and you smiled. So, this is what it would have felt like to hold your baby, you thought to yourself while you fixed her shirt as she reached for your hand. Her little fingers grasping yours, with a surprisingly strong grip as she smiled looking up at you and suddenly you could feel tears welling up in your eyes, but you didn't allow them to spill. It was almost as if she knew you needed comfort right now, like she knew you needed a little bit happiness to dull your pain.
You held her tightly to your chest and you knew in that moment that you would never let anything bad ever happen to her. You would keep her safe, no matter what happened and if the Saviours for some reason tried to take her back, you would protect her and kill anyone who tries to hurt her.
You held her for a few more minutes, rocking her softly as she began falling asleep. You heard the bedroom door open slowly as someone began walking towards you and you could tell by the sound of their footsteps that it was Daryl. You didn't bother turning around because in a matter of seconds Daryl was standing behind you, his hands gently wrapping around your stomach as he rested his head on your shoulder.
The two of you stood like that for nearly five minutes, slowly rocking Gracie in your arms and you couldn't help the tear that trickled down your cheek as you thought of your own baby and how good of a father Daryl would have been. Your tear dropped from your face landing on Daryl's arm and you prayed that he wouldn't notice, but he clearly did as his body shifted slightly in confusion.
"Hey." Daryl whispered softly, but you ignored him as you gently placed Gracie in her cot, watching the sleeping baby for a few seconds before you began walking out the room, Daryl close behind you.
"I'm gonna go have a shower." You stated, not wanting him to see the tears in your eyes as you kept walking down the hallway towards yours and Daryl's bedroom which you knew had a bathroom.
"Y/N, wait." Daryl called, grabbing your shoulder, but you shrugged his hand off and kept walking.
"I said I'm having a shower!" You snapped, glancing over at Daryl who stop walking as he stared at you in concern. He heard the pain behind your shout and as he looked into your eyes he saw it. Your sudden anger was nothing but a shield for your pain, but before he could say anything you disappeared into the bedroom and he heard the bathroom door open and slam shut.
You closed door behind yourself before you began taking your clothes off as you leant against the bathroom sink. You looked over at the mirror and you could barely recognise the face staring back at you. Your eyes wondered over your body, taking in every imperfection. The small circular scar on your left shoulder from when you were shot while helping Sophia. The multiple think, long scars scattered over your chest and stomach. The fading bruises along the sides of your stomach from James grabbing you. You could faintly make out his finger prints in some of the darker bruises and you quickly looked away staring down at the sink as you tried not to think about it.
"Nobody cares about you, I'm doing you a favour."
"If I don't do it, someone else will anyway."
"Just say yes now and I won't have to beat you unconscious first." James' voice echoed through your mind like it was repeat as you shook your head to try get rid of his voice, but it just kept getting louder and louder until you snapped, slamming your fist into the mirror in front of you. The glass cracked beneath your knuckles, but luckily none of it fell as you removed your hand to find blood seeping through the cracks in the mirror.
You took a few steps back from the now broken mirror before you stepped into the shower turning the taps as water began falling over your naked body. You're fine. You're going to be fine. It's over. James is dead, you escaped the Sanctuary. Everything is fine. You tried to tell yourself, looking down at your feet as the blood from your knuckles slowly washed down the drain. You stared at the water washing down your body for a few minutes and you didn't even realise you were crying until a mumbled sob fell from your lips and that was it. You couldn't hold it in anymore. The events from the past month finally catching up to you as you shakily sat down against the shower wall, bringing your knees to your chest as you wrapped your arms around them, making yourself as small as possible. The water washing over you as you silently broke down.
Memories of James filling your head, images of him flashing through your mind as you thought about all the things he had done to you. All the times he locked you in that God-awful room and forced himself on you. All the times he would beat you when you tried defending yourself or just because he felt like it. All the times he lied to Negan about why you were covered in bruises and cuts. Everything just coming to the surface as if a dam gate had just been opened and everything was flooding in.
You didn't even notice the bathroom door open or notice the water in the shower being turned off. You thought someone was calling your name, but all you could focus on was your racing heart as you tried to breath, but it felt like someone was pushing down on your chest, making your breaths come out short and fast.
Suddenly a gentle hand grabbed your chin, lifting your head up as your eyes landed on Daryl who was crouched down in front of you in the shower, his eyes filled with worry and concern. His mouth was moving, but you couldn't make out what he was saying above the pounding in your ears. You knew you were in the middle of panic attack, and you wanted to move, you wanted to say something, but you couldn't, all you could think about was James. The feeling of his rough fingers tracing over your body, the smell of his whisky tinged breath, his glazed over eyes roaming your body and his crooked grin.
"Hey, hey Y/N. Focus on my voice. Look at me, alright?" You could hear Daryl instruct, but you couldn't focus on him as you looked back down at your knees in front of you. But suddenly Daryl was cupping your cheeks, his warm touch slowly bringing you back as you stared at him through your teary eyes as he leant down closer to you before he slowly lifted you up out the shower.
The next few minutes went by in a blur, but once you managed to bring yourself out of the haze you realised you were on the bed, a bandage wrapped around your bleeding knuckles and a towel wrapped around your body as you leant against Daryl's chest, his arms holding you tightly.
"It's alright, you're safe. Just breathe." Daryl said softly as tears rolled down your cheeks while you forced yourself to take a few deep breaths, knowing Daryl was right. After what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, you managed to get your breathing under control. Your body still trembling under Daryl's hold as he placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head.
"I-I'm sorry." You said, your voice coming out a mere whisper and Daryl shifted on the bed slightly so he could look at you, but you looked away not wanting to meet his gaze.
"Nothin' to be sorry for." He said quietly and you could feel his eyes watching you as you stared down your hands, that you didn't even realise were shaking so much until Daryl grabbed them with his holding them tightly. "What happened at the Sanctuary?" He asked softly and you knew it was coming, you couldn't expect him to just drop the topic after finding you on the shower floor breaking down and he without a doubt saw all the fading bruises on your body.
But you didn't say anything for a few minutes, trying to work out where to start. Daryl sat there patiently, knowing you were trying to think of the right words before you looked over at him. Your eyes red as a few tears escaped, trailing down your cheeks.
"T-there was this Saviour, the one assigned to watch me... I tried to stop it. I-I tried to defend myself, but it just made him angrier. The first time he did it, I didn't even realise it was going to happen until he took me to an empty room and locked the door. After that he didn't even bother taking me to a different room, he would just sneak into my cell and whenever I'd try scream for help or fight back he'd beat me and I just didn't know what to do. The first time he did it, he knocked me unconscious and I had to be checked out by the nurse and when Negan found out, the Saviour lied and said someone else did it. And it just kept happening and happening... I have never been so scared in my life while I sat in that cell just waiting for him to come back. I didn't know what to do..." You trailed off, more tears sliding down your cheeks as you bit your lip to stop yourself from sobbing. You didn't have to go into detail about what happened because Daryl quickly put the pieces together himself.
"I'm so sorry baby. I won't ever let 'em hurt ya again. You're safe now Y/N, alright? You're safe now." Daryl said softly, rubbing your back gently as he tried not to let his anger take over him after hearing what the Saviours did to you. He was going to make them pay for hurting you, for killing your unborn baby, for taking you away from him, for everything they had done to the people you guys loved and cared about. The Saviours were going to pay.
-
You woke up the sounds of screams and for a split second you sat in confusion before your brain eventually woke up telling you that something was seriously wrong.
"Daryl!" You shouted jumping out the bed as you slipped your boots on, tucking your gun in your belt as you slung your bow over your shoulder. You glanced over your shoulder to make sure Daryl was awake and he was, already out of bed grabbing his knife off the bedside table and suddenly you were really glad you decided to sleep with your clothes on.
"Stay close." Daryl stated as he ran towards the door and you followed behind him as you walked out into the hallway and your eyes went wide with shock when you saw walkers roaming around the house, people screaming and crying as their flesh got torn apart.
Suddenly Daryl rushed towards the walkers, sinking his knife into their skulls and you did the same, pulling them away from innocent civilians before stabbing their brains.
"Y/N!" Daryl shouted and you turned around as Daryl pulled a walker off a woman, but there was another walker coming up next to him.
"Throw it at me!" You yelled jumping over a couple dead walkers as you rushed towards him and you could tell he didn't want to, but he didn't have a choice as he reluctantly pushed the walker towards you before he turned around to deal with the other walker trying to bite him and you quickly grabbed the walkers shoulders, holding its snapping jaws away from you as you slammed your knife through its eye socket. You quickly looked at the woman and she seemed to be okay before you glanced over at Daryl to make sure he didn't need any help before you took off running down the stairs to where most the walkers currently were.
You worked on killing the walkers closest to you before you spotted Ezekiel on the other side of the room trying to take on four by himself. God damnit. Without thinking you ran towards him, jumping over dead bodies and around tables as you sank your knife into the skull of the walker who was about to bite him. You saw him stare at you in relief, but there was no time to say anything before the other three walkers stagged closer as you swung your knife into the skull of the next walker, but as you tried to pull it out, the knife got stuck.
"Shit." You cursed under your breath as you saw another walker out the corner of your eye, but you couldn't get your knife free as you kept trying to pull it out, with no luck. "Fuck it." You muttered, letting go of the knife in the walkers skull before you slung your bow off your shoulder, slamming the end of the bow into the walkers head as it dropped to the ground dead.
"Thank you, Y/N." The King said as you turned around to find him holding out your knife that he must have retrieved for you and you took it, giving the man a nod before you jogged off noticing Rick and Daryl by the stairs taking down more walkers.
"The hell happened?" Daryl questioned looking down at the walker he just killed before looking over at you and Rick, but you shrugged your shoulders.
"I don't know. Maybe walkers got in." Rick guessed, but you shook your head.
"These are our own people, though." You stated staring at the dead bodies on the ground. This didn't make any sense, you thought to yourself when another set of screams filled the air and without saying another word you all raced up the stairs following the sound.
"You alright?" Daryl questioned rushing into the room followed by you, Rick and Maggie to find Carol, another woman and an injured man in bed.
"Yeah. He wasn't bit, but he turned." Carol stated glancing down at the walker on the ground and your heart dropped when you realised who it was. Tobin.
"How's that possible?" You questioned glancing around the room in confusion. How can people just turn like that.
"Negan's bat. When I was out there with him, it was covered in walker blood. I just thought he'd crossed some. But maybe..." Rick began saying.
"They have us working for them. Killing our own." Maggie finished and Rick nodded as you cursed under your breath. You knew the Saviours were planning something big, you just never would have guessed it would be something like this.
"It's the fever. That's what it is. It makes sense now." The man in the bed said as you looked over at him. "One of you, you're gonna have to do it. I can't. You gotta do it for me." The man begged as Maggie walked over to him, grabbing his hand for comfort before you walked out the room, giving the man some privacy as you made your way towards the spare room where the girls were sleeping. You opened the door slowly and looked in the room to find Rosita and Enid aiming their guns at you.
"Hey." You said softly holding your hands up and they sighed putting the guns down before you walked into the room followed by Rick and Daryl.
"Good out there?" Rosita questioned as you walked over to the cot to make sure Gracie was alright and you smiled softly realising she was still asleep.
"House is clear." Rick answered and you turned around to look at everyone.
"How did this happen?" Tara questioned and you all fell silent, she was shot with Dwights arrow...
"Um the Saviours did somethin' to their weapons. Everyone they cut up or got shot, they all got sick. Some of 'em turned." Daryl explained, realising you and Rick didn't want to be the one to break the news to her.
"What? No." Enid mumbled softly in disbelief, but you were too focused on Tara who stared at the floor processing the news.
"Okay." She responded looking up to meet everyone's gazes.
"When we were out there, and you said you were done waiting, I coulda killed him. I shoulda." Daryl admitted, and you could hear the guilt behind his tone.
"No. He wanted to be here with us. And no matter what he did or how hard he tried, I wanted him dead. I just couldn't let it be anything else. Karma's a bitch, right?" Tara said with a sad smile and you shook your head.
"Everyone who got hit with an infected weapon has gotten a fever already and correct me if I'm wrong, but you look perfectly fine. Maybe you got lucky and Dwight hit you with a clean arrow?" You suggested looking around at everyone who smiled softly at your attempt to try lighten the mood.
-
The next morning you sat with Daryl on the tailgate of one of the trucks as he sharped his bolts with his knife while teaching you how to sharpen your arrows. There was a slight trick to it, having to slice the knife down against the broadhead of the arrow at a certain angle otherwise you would make it blunter instead of sharper.
"Why is this so difficult?" You whined putting your knife back in the holder of your belt, giving up at trying to sharpen your arrows, you were doing more damage than good.
"You've sharpened a knife before, right?" Daryl asked, and you nodded. "Well it's kinda like that, but on a smaller scale. Here watch me." Daryl said grabbing your arrow as he slowly began sharpening it with his knife.
"You make it look easy." You mumbled taking your arrow back as you clipped it on the quiver attached to your bow before Tara walked down the steps of the mansion looking happy and healthy.
"Hey." You and Daryl both greeted, and she smiled heading over to the two of you.
"It's been over a day and still not sick. Doc says I'm cool." Tara announced and you couldn't help but smile at the news. Finally, some good news for once!
"You're a tough son of a bitch." Daryl stated glancing up at her before he went back to sharpening his bolts for his crossbow.
"It just means Dwight shot me with a clean arrow." Tara replied causing Daryl to look back up at her shaking his head.
"It means ya got lucky. Could be anythin'. It's not like a bite, sometimes nothin' happens." Daryl said as you glanced between the two of them. You weren't sure if you should cut in on the conversation, knowing that Daryl could easily get worked up over Dwight and the Saviours, but you were kinda curious to see where this was going to lead, so you stayed silent.
"Daryl, look-" Tara tried to say, but Daryl cut her off.
"If Dwight knew, he could've warned us, could've sent us a message."
"Maybe he couldn't." Tara defended and you shook your head. Dwight might have been the reason you were able to escape, but you were still going to kill him if you ever got the chance. He killed and hurt your family and once someone messed with your family, there was no going back.
"He let a whole day go by while our people laid around dying. Yes, he might have shot you with a clean arrow on purpose to somehow save your life, but that does not make up for all the lives he has taken and shit he has put us through. You can forgive him all you want, but next time I see that son of a bitch I'm killing him." You stated firmly as Daryl put his hand on your knee, squeezing it gently to calm you down and you took a deep breath.
"I know, but we might need him now more than ever. And what I'm saying is that if I had killed him, maybe I would be dead right now. Look do what you gotta do. But know it's just for you guys. I'm out." Tara replied glancing between the two of you before she walked back into the building. You sighed, rubbing your hands over your face. You understood where Tara was coming from, but you just wished she understood where you and Daryl were coming from.
"Ya alright?" Daryl asked softly, removing his hand from your knee as you looked across at him and nodded.
"I just can't wait for all of this to be over." You replied, and Daryl grunted in agreement as the two of you continued sharpening your weapons.
-
*Later that day*
"Hey Y/N." Rosita shouted catching your attention as you turned around to find her and Daryl walking out the mansion towards you as you put the axe down, quickly stacking the freshly cut pieces of wood before walking over to the two of them.
"What's up?" You questioned, wiping the sweat off your forehead as you fixed the strap of your bow over your shoulder.
"We're gonna scout out a building Eugene took me too when he made that bullet. We think Negan might have him in there making the Saviours bullets." Rosita explained as she climbed into the drivers side of one of the cars and you slipped into the backseat while Daryl sat in the passenger.
"What's the plan if he is there making bullets? He was working with Negan, they are basically best friends from what I saw at the Sanctuary, I don't think Eugene will just come back with us." You responded looking at Rosita through the revision mirror.
"He won't have a choice." Daryl replied glancing back at you and you nodded before Rosita drove off. This was either going to go really well or terribly bad.
-
"Well, looks like you're right. It's up and runnin'." Daryl muttered, handing the pair of binoculars to you as you watched a group of Saviours start unloading containers filled with what looked to be bullet casings.
"Yep. Buckets of casings for Eugene to turn into hundreds of bullets." Rosita said as you handed her the binoculars.
"Let's do it now." Daryl muttered looking through the window of the old broken down house you guys found, but you shook your head.
"Nah, we don't take out the machines. We take out the men." You stated staring down at the Saviours down the street who had no idea you were there. If you had that sniper rifle, you could just about take them all out.
"Y/N's right. We wait for day break and then we go in." Rosita said putting the binoculars down as she glanced around the room you guys were in. "You guys get some sleep. I'll take first watch."
"You sure?" You asked and she nodded. "Alright, wake me up in a few hours. You need rest too." You stated before you and Daryl stood up walking over towards one of the couches that were by the wall. You could have gone to one of the other rooms downstairs, but you both knew you all should stick together so as Rosita made herself comfortable by the window keeping an eye on the Saviours, you and Daryl laid side by side on the longer couch. His arms wrapped around your waist protectively, his head resting on your shoulder and you couldn't help but smile before you fell asleep.