After a very strange couple of days, I was extremely thankful for the fact that Elliot was coming round. I really needed him at this point, and texting only does so much, especially because of us being so busy lately. I really just needed someone to listen to all of my problems and for him not to judge me because they're small and a lot of people have worse. For me, that person would always be Elliot – I could never imagine us falling out because there would be too much at stake if we did, knowing so much about each other.
I smiled as I always did when he rang the doorbell at exactly six o'clock. It was scary how good he was at timekeeping.
Hello everybody! He signed as soon as my mum let him in, and Theo smiled at him
You need to help me! My brother signed back Does Via have a boyfriend or not?!
That's a question I also require an answer for, my mum joined in.
I hate you all! I made a face at them and we all laughed.
Well Theo, I don't think she has an official one, but I think she's almost there! I shook my head
No I don't! My hands move expressively He's just my partner for the coursework and nothing else!
Ah but he's also learning BSL!
Well, there you go, they're basically dating! Theo and Elliot both nodded at each other smugly. Why were they all so obsessed with me getting a boyfriend? I also felt sick every time I thought about Noah at this point so that didn't help. It seriously hurt that he was still going out with Mackenzie who at the moment was acting like a bitch.
That sounds good! How is he learning? My mum inquired and I mentally told Elliot off in my head for telling her; it was undoubtedly going to get her hopes up, and that was a very bad thing considering that we were never even going to be more than secret friends at break time.
He's going to the BSL lessons that Mrs Porter's making me do. I signed as dully as possible – trying not to make this into a big deal because it really wasn't. Ok anyway, are you coming up to my room Elliot?
Way to end the conversation Via.
We fumbled up the stairs happily as we always did, and I beamed with the knowledge that I could finally sit down and properly talk to him again.
So, come on how are things going? He sat down on my worn duvet with a strange smile that told me he needed to hear everything about Noah. I wasn't surprised; this was going to be a long conversation but I was ready for it.
Ok, I took a deep breath, trying to figure out the best way to explain this, basically, I have no idea how it's going because my English partner's being confusing and it's kind of all my fault
Oooh, I'm so ready for this, he replied raising his eyebrows, tell me everything!
And so I did. I went through how Noah's BSL was getting better, how he sat with me every break time, how he hadn't told his friends, how he was actually being nice to me and finally how he was still going out with Mackenzie. It was strangely comforting – finally getting to unload my brain on someone else felt like sharing the load of thoughts that I'd been carrying for ages. I felt the same when I told Noah about Harrison (notice how I'd purposely omitted that bit out – Elliot's response would be a lot stronger than Noah's and he really would judge me on that).
Ok, so you really fancy this guy – what's his name?
Noah
Right, so you fancy Noah but he's going out with a total bitch called Mackenzie despite being so nice to you?
Yup. He'd hit the nail on the head. Looking at it now, it all seemed so stupidly small that I wondered why I'd been so hung up on it. I also needed to get my head out of the clouds – even if he wasn't going out with Mackenzie, he'd never in a million years go for me. After all, at the moment he was still too embarrassed to tell anybody that we were friends. I wasn't desirable as a girlfriend and that was just that.
That's annoying – but actually not too bad. I was immediately confused, and it obviously
showed because he elaborated It would be tons worse if he had a better girlfriend
Why? Surely having a nasty girlfriend says a lot about him, doesn't it?
Not necessarily; if you know that Noah's a nice person then they're sure to break up soon, I had to admit that I wasn't entirely convinced, but Elliot's words did make me feel slightly better And anyway, Noah's just the first person you've befriended, if you don't get together then it wasn't meant to be
Thanks Elliot I gave a lopsided smile and we hugged again.
But seriously Via, you've got this – he'd be stupid to stay with her and not you, he emphasised What's she like anyway?
Right, so she's just the kind of person that thinks she's above everyone else if you know what I mean? He nodded Like yesterday, she purposely tripped this girl Brianna over because apparently, she copied her outfit at Carrie's party last weekend.
So she's basically a stock mean girl?
Exactly I replied Except you can't laugh at this one
Who says? Oh no. Elliot was going to get all existential again she probably says really cringy things but you just don't notice because you're programmed to think she's cool.
I'll bear that in mind, I signed quickly Anyway how's your life?
It's all good when I forget that GCSEs exist! He replied grimacing It's only been a month in and already I'm stressed
You're always stressed, I signed Do you remember year 9 when you had at least one club every day? And then you tried to take even more on?
I'll have you know that debating society was very appealing even if it was scheduled at the same time as book club! I laughed with the memory You can't say anything anyway – you were just off with all the boys, making all of them like you all at once
SHUT UP! That was only really Tom and Mercer and it wasn't that bad!
It really was – they both properly fancied you and had no idea that you actually liked Liam the whole time!
So maybe it was a bit messy, I restrained myself from bursting out laughing – it genuinely was that bad – they would ask me out for cinema trips almost every weekend and really not get any of my hints when I tried to tell them I liked them as only friends. It was funny to remember a time when I wasn't lonely at school. I really missed it, but I guessed that perhaps that was going to change with Noah and Katie. OH, by the way, Elliot, you're going to be really proud of me!
Come on then – tell me why?
I've actually made two friends not one!
OMG look at you! Who's the second? He smiled, emphasising everything with his hands. He always got expressive when he's really into something – it's like when I finally let him talk to me about Game of Thrones.
Well at least I think we're friends – we've only spoken once. I had to consider that perhaps Katie had only entertained me to get back at Mackenzie, but some part of me knew that wasn't the truth. I genuinely did like talking to her though, even if we really had only had one conversation in Biology about Mackenzie threatening to kill us all.
Yes, yes, whatever we all know that's not the truth – who is this mysterious person?
She's called Katie and she had, well she chose to sit next to me in Biology because she's fallen out with Mackenzie.
And you're worried about Mackenzie and Noah? Honestly, he's basically your boyfriend already if his girlfriend's falling out with her friends! What did they fight over?
Mackenzie got upset because Katie didn't break up with her boyfriend, Elliot's eyebrows shot back up
Shit that's controlling
You're telling me – she made a massive scene in Biology officially announcing that she's not speaking to Katie until she apologises
Honestly Via you really don't have anything to worry about with Noah if Mackenzie's like this – you're comparing the wrong things.
What do you mean?
You're looking at things that don't matter like the fact that you can't speak and she can – Noah's learning BSL, he doesn't care about that and neither should you!
Thank you-you are actually making me feel better
What are you talking about – of course, I am!
Oh by the way, how's that guy you sit next to in maths? I asked and he ran his hand through his messy black hair
I don't really know to be honest – he doesn't really hang out with me or anything. He put his hand through his hair awkwardly before looking back up at me.
Oh well, I replied. Some part of me still felt guilty that I agreed to move to mainstream school because it meant that I was leaving Elliot alone at his school. We were inseparable then – spending every available minute together (when he wasn't in a club basically). He didn't really tell me much about what happened at his school now, so it was nice when he told me about the guy he sat next to because at least that meant he had made other friends I guess.
Yeah, he was weird anyway – who puts Nutella on everything? I made a face and we laughed.