After resting and take a good nap for three hours, Namjoon gets up a little bit fresh than before. The headache already subsides but it's still there. At least he didn't need another painkiller.
He took a shower, wearing his favorite Ryan pajamas and ready to work with his laptop when someone knocked on his door. He frowned as he glanced at his phone to see the time. It's almost ten p.m. and the housekeeping won't be around this hour so he guessed it must be his bandmate. Either Seokjin or Yoongi. Maybe both.
Namjoon immediately walked to the door and when he opened it, his eyes widen to see not only Seokjin or Yoongi but everyone is standing in front of him - wearing pajamas with a silly grin on their faces. Namjoon frets in confusion.
"Why all of you are here? Are we going to have a slumber party?" he asked in sarcasm but utterly confused. They never discuss any party before. The presence of his bandmates sparks the curiosity in his mind.
Ignoring Namjoon question and confusion, Seokjin walked passed by him and entered the room uninvited. Then the rest of the members follows suit leaving Namjoon on the door flabbergasted. His lips parted in aw shuck at his bandmates demeanor, groaned in annoyance at the nuisance. He shut his door a little bit harsh to express his disapproval for being ignored.
Namjoon stares at his members on by one, now scattered around on his bed leisurely. "Can someone tell me why all of you are here?" he asked for the second time, a little bit irritated. His plan to do some work was ruined at the sudden intrusion.
Seokjin leaned on the headboard as he straightened his long legs on the soft mattress. He then makes a gesture with his hand, beckons over the leader to join him and the rest on his king's size mattress. He pats on the empty spot beside him.
"Come here, Joonie. Sit with us!" Seokjin urged.
Namjoon brows arched. "What is this all about?" he asked without moving an inch. Voice rising a little bit since everyone refuses to give him the answer he wants. He won't do anything until Seokjin or his members explain to him the reason why they were here, in his room at this hour, instead of resting. On his bed!
Yoongi huffed in annoyance at Namjoon's stubbornness. He lazily gets up from his comfortable spot, approaching the flustered Namjoon and dragged his hand to the bed - forcefully. Namjoon was trying to put a fight but Yoongi hissed at him, making Namjoon flinch and obeyed his hyung at instances.
Yoongi pushed Namjoon's body to the bed, forcing him to sit in between of him and Seokjin. Taehyung sits at Seokjin's feet and Jungkook at Yoongi's. Meanwhile, Jimin and Hoseok take an empty spot in the middle, near Namjoon's feet - facing their beloved leader.
Everyone seems comfortable on their spot except Namjoon. He's still wondering what is happening and why the members acting so weird right now.
Namjoon takes a deep breath while he crossed his arms to his chest. "So can we talk right now?" he asked, a little bit pissed off since no one says anything to him. The reason why they were hijacking his room and makes him as a hostage in his own room.
"We're having a pillow talk tonight!" said Jimin with a wide grin until his eyes turn into a crescent moon shape - but for Namjoon it looks like he just closed his eyes. What a cutie pie!
"Pillow talk?" Namjoon was baffled at Jimin's explanation. "What do you mean by pillow talk?" he continues to ask. Extremely dumbfounded.
"Well..."
Namjoon cocked his head to his side at the dragged tone of Seokjin. He looks at his hyung with a frown on his forehead. Looking at the serious expression of the eldest, Namjoon's heart immediately beats really fast. His eyes quiver, unease at the sudden tense air.
"Did - did I do something - something wrong?" Namjoon asked with a shaking voice. His eyes soon glazed with tears, thinking that he might make his bandmates upset again.
Seokjin gasped at the reaction, immediately reached for Namjoon's hand and squeezed it firmly. "Oh God! No! There's nothing wrong Namjoon. Don't worry," explained Seokjin frantically, afraid that Namjoon will misunderstand their intention.
Everyone looks concerned at their leader's mental breakdown. Yoongi took Namjoon's other hand and interlace their fingers together. It's an assurance that there's nothing to worry about. He wanted to ease the worry in Namjoon's heart.
Namjoon tends to overthink something trivial and Yoongi didn't want Namjoon to think the worst about the current situation. He didn't want Namjoon to over analyze the reason why everyone is here now.
"There's nothing serious, Namjoon. It's just a small talk," said Yoongi as he continues to clutch Namjoon's hand.
Namjoon frowned. He can't brush away his apprehension over the possibility of why everyone is here. It must be something serious if they barged in like this. It can't be small talk. They never do small talk. They never had a group discussion unless there's something important or crucial that needs everyone to give their opinion.
Namjoon holds his breath in horror when his worst thought comes to his mind. Are they going to disband? They used to talk about disbandment before. It was the most intense moment in his life after they debuted as BTS.
The dread feeling when everyone used to consider about disbandment is really terrifying. It feels like someone had stabbed the knife to his heart. It's painful and really hurt. Physically and emotionally. His role as the leader has been questioned. He feels he had failed his members.
And now they are here again, with the same intense expression. Namjoon froze on his spot, thinking about the possibility that they want BTS to disband for real this time. Is this the end?
It's all his fault. He failed to be a good leader. He makes everyone frustrated at him. And the problem with Taehyung and Jungkook had been prolonged for a quite sometime without any solution. He lets them drift apart. He shouldn't do that. He makes the situation from bad to worst.
It's all my fault. I'm the worst leader of all. I'm -
"Namjoon!"
Namjoon's body jerked at the shouting, looking at Yoongi with his wide eyes. And when he averted his eyes towards his members, everyone is looking at him with concern.
What -
"Why are you crying, hyung?" Jimin asked as he scooted closer to Namjoon.
Namjoon frowned, blinking his eyes when he realized his eyelashes were wet with tears. Namjoon touched his cheek and can feel the droplet. He didn't realize that he was crying while he was debating with his pathetic self.
Namjoon dragged his knees and pressed its to his chest. His arms wrapped around his leg as he leaned his chin on the top of it. "Are we - are we going to disband? For real?" Namjoon asked timidly. He can't get rid the idea of his bandmates wants to go a separate way - living their own life without being a part of BTS anymore.
A few murmured can be heard in the room but Namjoon didn't have the heart to see his member's expression at the moment. He continues to brood, thinking about his deficiency and blunder as the leader. His tears are unstoppable. His heart is aching. He is on the verge of a breakdown.
"Joon-ah, why are you thinking about disbandment again? None of us here ever talks about it anymore..." Seokjin velvety voice breaks the gloomy mood. His palm circling on Namjoon's back after he saw the leader crying and breathing a little bit faster. He's afraid that Namjoon will have a panic attack if he didn't try to calm him down.
Namjoon inhaled a sharp breath, shakily breath it out before he shook his head weakly. "Everything is a mess right now. And - and I make everyone upset. I - maybe I'm not a good - good leader at all, " Namjoon said with a croaked voice. It sounds so sad and depressing.
The room is quiet as if they were mourning over something; a minute of silence. No one said anything, exchanging glances with each other meaningfully. The sadness on their faces is noticeable as they saw their leader's troubled expression. Their hearts clenched with the same sorrow and anguish.
"Joon, why are you -"
"I want to say sorry to Taehyung and Jungkook," interrupts Namjoon hastily, didn't give the chance for Hoseok to finish his question. He thought he needs to apologize since they were discussing the disbandment. Maybe this is his last chance to say it to his friends, his bandmates.
"Sorry for what?" Yoongi asked in confusion as he fixed his eyes towards the two maknaes in front of him.
Taehyung and Jungkook were shell shocked at the sudden apology by Namjoon, caught off guard as they weren't prepared to discuss it with everyone yet. Taehyung flicked his gaze on Jungkook and he notices the uneasy expression on Jungkook's look.
"What is this all about, Tae? Jungkook?" Seokjin asked as he can feel the distressed mood between the three involved.
Taehyung swallowed dryly. "Actually, we - I mean Jungkook and I were going to talk about this tonight. Well, to ask Namjoon-hyung the real situation that leads to our - emm - our misunderstanding," he clarified in a stammering speech.
Jungkook nods affirmatively. Both in consensus that they should explain themselves about the crisis between them and the leader to everyone.
"Misunderstanding? What kind of misunderstanding?" asked Seokjin.
"Hyung, I think we need to let Tae and Kookie explained about this," Jimin said calmly. Didn't want anyone to interrupt before Taehyung and Jungkook tells everyone the story.
Seokjin looks at Jimin questionably, aware that the mochi had the knowledge about the situation. Seokjin then tilted his head to Yoongi where's the rapper slightly nods his head - agree with Jimin's suggestion to listen to the younger's story before bringing up any question.
Taehyung takes the silence of everyone is a cue for him to start the conversation. "This happens when we were in the US for the AGT. We heard that Namjoon-hyung feels tired that he needs to become our translator since none of us are fluent in English. He needs to do most of the works and feels that we didn't help him at all."
The hyung line was shocked to hear the confession, looking at Taehyung incredulously with disturbed faces. The three were fighting but none of them knows about it? The masquerade they wore are certainly remarkable.
"Did you really said that Namjoon?" interrogate Yoongi with a serious tone.
Namjoon shook his head. "It's - it's a misunderstanding. I - I was talking to Sukhoon-ssi about the schedules and everything when Tae and Jungkook heard part of our conversation. That's when they misunderstood the whole thing. I - I didn't say anything at that time. It's Sukhoon - and - and - I just let that happen - it's my fault - but I try to explain - still - I - I -"
"I believe it's a mere misunderstanding and Namjoon-hyung didn't say anything like that," Jimin interrupt when he saw how Namjoon is struggling to explain himself.
Yoongi huffed at the assertion, looking at Namjoon before he bid his eyes towards Taehyung and Jungkook in turns. "Then?"
Taehyung takes a deep breath before he continues to talk. "Then we kinda pissed off at Namjoon-hyung. We - we'd defied his effort to explain to us and said something hurtful to him. But - but later we realized that we had acted childishly and selfish..."
Seokjin sneers at the statement, almost burst into a fit of anger before Yoongi pats on his shoulder to calm him down. Seokjin inhaled and exhale to gain inner peace before he and Yoongi swap a significant gaze with Hoseok.
Hoseok clears his throat, comprehend the clue given by the two male. "Namjoon? Do you have anything to say about this?" he divert the attention back to Namjoon.
Namjoon still hugging his knees didn't say anything neither have any expression on his face after listening to Taehyung's justification. The tears had stopped and left with a few sniffs. Everyone was nervous seeing their leader in such posture, waiting for him to say something. It's a bone-chilling moment for the rest of the members. Namjoon has never been so quiet and it's killing them softly.
Namjoon slowly stretching out his legs, leaned on the headboard while he heaved a deep sigh. He shut his eyes for a few seconds, his lower lips jutted in concentration and he keeps fisting his hand into a tight ball. As if he was thinking thoroughly about what he's going to say to his friends. Like, he was trying to find a suitable word to express his thought without hurting anyone.
"I'm tired..." he whispered in a dejected voice. It carries the exhaustion, grieves, disappointment, and frustration. Namjoon sounded like he's giving up.
Everyone was horrified at the sudden confession, gawking at the leader bewildered.
"Joon, what're -"
"Everything makes me tired, hyung. And - and I think I need a rest. A proper sleep..." Namjoon cuts off Yoongi abruptly. Didn't let him say anything before him. His body slumps further and it makes him looks so small and vulnerable.
"But Joon -"
"This emotional talk makes me exhausted. I - I have plenty of works to do right now. I don't think that I want to waste my time talking something trivial like this."
"Are you fucking kidding me, Namjoon?!" shrieked Yoongi while he looks at Namjoon furiously. Not that he's angry but he was upset to hear that from Namjoon.
Everyone was taken aback at the outburst, looking at Yoongi and Namjoon anxiously. But Namjoon seems didn't bother about Yoongi's wrath. He just sits there, blankly staring into nothing. As if he wasn't there at all. Soulless.
Seokjin notices there's something off about Namjoon. He cupped on Namjoon's face, forcing the leader to face him. Seokjin's heart sunk when he saw the dull eyes of Namjoon.
"Joon? Are you listening to me right now?" asked Seokjin with concern, trying to gain the attention of the younger. Everyone was watching with puzzled.
Namjoon didn't reply. Instead, he just nods his head once.
"Tell hyung, what's wrong? This is not the real you. I know you won't say anything like this. This is not the Namjoon I've known all this time..." coaxed Seokjin with a tender and soft voice. As if he was afraid to break Namjoon apart. As if Namjoon is like glass; fragile and precarious.
Namjoon brows pucker before his eyes slowly meet with Seokjin's orbs. It doesn't take too long before a puddle of tears starts to accumulate on the dam of his eyes.
"Sorry, hyung... I didn't mean to say that. I was just - just -"
"I'm sorry hyung!" cuts Taehyung abruptly.
Namjoon tilted his head to see the younger, frowning at his sudden apology. Taehyung fidgeting at his silence, clearing his throat before he continues to speak.
"Actually I and Jungkook is a little bit overreacting before and we should listen to your explanation before we jump into our own conclusion..." he said remorsefully.
Jungkook nods his head, agreed with Taehyung. "I'm sorry too. For the things happen in the US and for the incident at our dorm. I shouldn't shout at you and -"
"What do you mean you're shouting at Namjoon?"
Jungkook shivered at the venom leeching out from the voice, slowly turned his eyes in an erratic heartbeat. He flinched when he saw the piercing gaze of Yoongi, looking at him like he is ready to kill him on the spot.
Well, his mistake after all. He shouldn't bring up about the incident since no one from the hyung line knows about what had happened that day. No one ever said anything when Seokjin, Yoongi, and Hoseok came back to the house later that day.
Not even Namjoon. And lucky for Jungkook and Taehyung that Namjoon had been out from the little space. They were scared at first, afraid that Namjoon will have another break down in front of the other caregivers - telling them what had he and Taehyung had done to him.
It seems Jimin managed to handle little Namjoon very well. They heard a few giggles from the leader's room, playing with Jimin. As if he never cried before. A guilt tug on their heart but they were too ashamed of their wrongdoing and cowardly stay in Jungkook's room; remorsing their horrible act.
"It's nothing hyung. It's just another misunderstanding," said Namjoon, saving the maknaes from being the subject to Yoongi's wrath.
Jungkook and Taehyung bows in shame at their leader's forgiving act - feeling worse than before for treating their leader like that.
"When this happen?" asked Yoongi, ignoring Namjoon's pleading eyes. He gawked at Taehyung and Jungkook, obviously frightened at his gruff voice and grim face.
"It's - it's -"
"Hyung, please. It's nothing. I don't have any grudge or mad at the two. We were just exhausted from all the non-stop schedules. We just snapped at one point. It's nothing serious," Namjoon interrupt, didn't let Jungkook talk. In fact, he feels sorry seeing how Jungkook and Taehyung cowered in fear. He never wanted the maknae to be in this situation. It makes his heart hurt.
Jungkook eyes on Namjoon, a little bit shook when Namjoon selflessly defending him from Yoongi. His eyes slowly glossed with unshed tears. He was acting like a brat for weeks but Namjoon still didn't hold any animosity towards him.
When Namjoon gives him a smile of assurance to soothe his grief, Jungkook bites his lips in agony - didn't want to let his tears to fall. He didn't want to show his pathetic self in front of the strong leader. He didn't deserve to inflict any emotional pain towards Namjoon once again.
"But Namjoon -"
"Yoongi..."
Yoongi stopped instantly when Seokjin grabbed his hand and shook his head slowly - withheld the rapper from saying anything further. Yoongi grunted in frustration but choose to listen to Seokjin this time.
If Namjoon said okay, that's mean it is okay. Eventhough Yoongi is dying to protest his decision not to share with him and the rest about the whole situation - Yoongi is going to respect that.
"I'm really sorry, hyung..." whispered Jungkook as he stares at Namjoon, to show his genuine feeling.
Namjoon shook his head. "It's okay Kookie. Let bygone be bygone. There's nothing to be sorry for. Everyone just tired and I understand that sometimes we become emotional."
"Hyung, for what we had said to you, all the cruel things - we are really sorry. You don't deserve all the shits. You've done so much for us, for the group and we're being ungrateful to that," said Taehyung.
Namjoon chuckles softly. "There's no such thing as I'm doing more than the others. We are together in this, we played a significant role in BTS. We had our own part and responsibility. We carry the same weight on our shoulder," he states.
Everyone took a shuddering breath at the speech, feeling touched at Namjoon's sincerity. His virtue as BTS leader never fails to make everyone in the group to feels amazed. He never complains about his workload, neither he had to make a face for doing the extra works. He always smiles and takes everything handed to him gracefully. For him, it is his duty as the leader.
"But you're doing so much this lately and we didn't like how you're pushing yourself off-limit. You keep on getting sick, Joon-ah..." mentioned Hoseok with concern. And everyone seems to agree with the dancer.
Namjoon fretted before he sighed. He notices the constant headache he had past few weeks but there was nothing serious. Namjoon thought his body reacted in such a way because he was too stressed about the works plus with the conflict with the maknaes. But now everything has been cleared up, his mind once again found its peace. He feels lighter than before.
"Me and Taehyung will work hard to enhance our English skill so that we can help you doing the interview abroad..." said Jungkook solemnly.
Namjoon raises one of his brows in amusement. "Are you sure about that? I don't have any problem to be your translator but if you really want to do that, it will be great for you and Tae though. It's good for your own reputation..."
"Tha - thank you hyung..." Jungkook sheepishly replied.
"So, are we okay now? Right?" asked Jimin with a wide smile on his face.
Everyone heartily laughed at the comment before each of them nods their head. Their heart now at ease that they managed to settle the conflict without having an argumentative discussion.
"I think we need a group hug!" suggest Hoseok cheerfully, wiggling his brows playfully.
"Yes!!" Jungkook and Taehyung shouted in unison and they both burst in boisterous laughter.
"Ugh, I hate skinship!" mumbled Yoongi in annoyance.
"Come on Yoongi!" urged Seokjin.
"Joonie want a group hug?" asked Jimin while he looks at Namjoon with a beautiful smile.
Namjoon cheeks tinged with a pink hue, looking at Jimin and his other members one by one. Everyone is waiting for his answer and Namjoon can feel how the butterfly roamed in his stomach.
"I think - we - we need to do a group hug, " he answered shyly with his tiny voice.
Yoongi immediately pinched on Namjoon's chubby cheek, cooing over his cuteness. "Aigoo, our Joonie is really cute! Let's do a group hug then!"
Seokjin chided at Yoongi's demeanor and the others were rolling their eyes at his change of attitude. They already know how the rapper always had a soft spot for Namjoon. And sometimes it makes them cringed.
When Yoongi hogging over Namjoon from his side like a koala, the other members pitched forward and swarm over Namjoon on the bed. Namjoon yelped at the sudden attack but later he laughed when his bandmates were pushing among themselves when they try to have Namjoon for their own.
Which later, obviously Jungkook had won the fight. And Namjoon sleeps with Jungkook that night. Making the others leaving the two with sulking faces. Jungkook grinned in victory, giving his smug face to the rest of his members. A few disapproved sound being made by the rest as they leave the room; defeated by the golden maknae.
Jungkook held Namjoon in his arms, while Namjoon rests his head on Jungkook's firm chest. It's been a while since they were being so close like this. And it feels so nice and warm as they hugging each other without any ill-feeling. Just love and love.
Before drifting to the dreamland, Namjoon makes a mental note to himself that he will give the picture he had drawn to Jungkook.
Hyungie will like it!
Later that night, Namjoon wakes up at the shrill noise of his phone. He groaned in annoyance as he was soundly sleeping in the arms of Jungkook. He squinted his eyes towards his phone in the dark, frowning when it's a private number. He glanced at the time on the top of the screen and grimaced to see its three in the morning.
Nonetheless, Namjoon answered the phone, thinking that its maybe an important call. "Hello?" he answered, almost whispering as he is afraid to wake Jungkook from his deep sleep. His voice was croaked and hoarse - a hint that he just awake and exhausted.
"Hello, Namjoonie?"
Namjoon frowned. "Who's this?"
"It's me, Namjoonie."
"Who?"
"Seungwoon..."
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This is my last time saying this and I won't reply to any comment speaking of it again.
Please be informed that English is not my first language, I'm not English native- speaker. As such, I'll constantly make grammatical errors in my story. It's confused the hell of me on how, when, and why to use "is, are, was, were, has, had, have, etc". The past, present and future tense is really confusing and tricky.
I'm trying to fix my grammar and I won't be good within one night. So please bear with my dumb mistakes while you're reading my story. Just go with it or you have the option to not read this.
I had enough explained this everytime and it's tiring me out. I'm trying not to be a cocky bastard because I really appreciate my readers and you're the reason why this book is a hit. So please, let's put an end to this discussion. My English sucks. It's a fact. So, DO NOT COMMENT SOMETHING OBVIOUS AGAIN. Okay?
Wow now I sounded like an emo bitch 💅