silence. that's all there was between the four of us as we walked back towards the farm. lola was quiet, really quiet. she didn't speak. i could tell she was still in shock, with dale dying, sophia, and now her own father. i feel her pain, and her grief. and for someone her age she doesn't deserve it.
"you bit too?" carl asks rick, referring to all the blood he had on his chest, shane's blood.
"no." rick replies in a low mutter as the crickets were heard chirping in the distance.
"shane was." carl says, and i just scoffed at that, shaking of my head. there's no way he was, it takes long to turn, and he wasn't having symptoms earlier, i would have noticed.
"that wasn't shane and you know it." rick assures carl, even though it doesn't help our current situation in the slightest.
"used to be." carl paused for a moment, before continuing, "but w-what happened? were you guys attacked? i mean i heard a gunshot but i didn't see any walkers nearby. how did shane die?" rick stopped in front of carl, making us halt as well. he looked at me for permission to tell the truth, and i nodded in agreement. there's no reason to keep the truth from them, they'd find out anyway.
suddenly, there was an indistinct, low growl coming from a nearby distance. when we all turned our backs to investigate, a horde of walkers were stumbling right towards us. my heart dropped to my stomach, i could feel the blood rushing through my veins.
"oh my god." rick said in shock, nudging carl forward. he puts his hand on my back to gesture that i should get moving. i squeeze lola's hand tighter as all of us begin to run frantically for our lives.
to catch our breath for a second, all of us squat down behind a tree for cover. "we gotta get back to the house, tell the others." carl suggests, panting heavily from all the running we had to do.
"no, we'll never get through that." rick replied to his son, "all of you. stay close. to the barn. go!"
at the exact time we all break off into a sprint towards the barn, walkers were coming in from all directions and if we didn't hurry up they could cave in on us. rick was the last one in, and shut the barn door behind us, the barn was dark and smelled of shit.
rick stuck a crowbar between the two doors to barricade it, leaving the walkers to bang on it aggressively, i could hear their loud growls and them scratch on the wood. rick started looking around, brainstorming ideas, leading us away from the barn door. that's when he found another idea.
me and rick run out of the little supply room with each a can of gas in our hands, the kids were behind us, just watching. "c'mon hurry." rick says as we continued to splash gasoline everywhere, on the haystacks, the wood. the floors, as much as we could in such a short amount of time.
"oh shit, all right, c'mon." me and rick drop the gas cans and run to the ladder with the kids. lola was the first one up, "c'mon carl!"
"w-wait what about you?" carl frantically questioned. "i'll be up there in a second, now go!" carl nods and starts to climb the ladder. rick hands me a lighter, which got me confused.
"drop the lighter when i say. we'll stop some from reaching the house and distracting the others, at least we'll have a chance."
i nod in agreement and take the lighter. rick, i may have a grudge against him, but this is about survival now, i have to do what's best for my daughter.
as i start climbing the ladder as quick as i could i heard rick shouting, ruling up the walkers, banging on the door. as soon as i get up i make the kids step back. i squat down right near the edge. rick yanks out the crowbar between the handles and throws open the doors, shouting, grabbing their attention.
as he starts to climb the ladder the walkers almost got his foot. when he got to the top of the ladder he held onto the edge for support, "nik, now!"
immediately, i flick open the lighter top and light it. and that's when i dropped the lighter. the fire spread onto the walkers like wildfire, but it had no effect on them. yeah they were gonna burn to death, but that can't feel it. probably.
"alright back up!" rick firmly instructed as we start going onto the side roof. it was probably a good idea, soon enough, the fire was gonna reach the top.
as soon as we got on the roof walkers were already crawling at us. "hey! in here! get in here! yeah!" i looked at what rick was shouting at, someone brought in the rv and parked it right next to the roof. we all jump onto the other part of the roof and onto the rv's roof. rick immediately leads us to the ladder on the back of it. and as he starts climbing down he shoots down the walkers that got too close.
i could hear blood-curdling screams from inside the rv, whoever was in there. was already walker meat.
as soon as rick jumped down i let the kids go first, but more were coming for us on all except one side. to save time, i skipped the ladder and jumped down, feeling a shot of pain run through my ankles for a split second. it hurt but i decide to ignore it and focus on tie bigger crisis we were currently having.
i grab lola's hand as rick starts leading us back towards the house, having to avoid walkers at the same time. we were taking a shortcut through the woods.
it took minutes and minutes as we dodged the trees, we had to sprint as fast as we could to take the shortcut. as soon we exited the woods we saw hershel near one of the cars, reloading his shotgun. we started walking towards hershel when we noticed a walker coming up behind him. rick raises his gun and shoots the walker, letting it drop at his feet.
"wheres lori?" rick asks hershel.
"i don't know rick but they just keep coming. it's like a plague they're everywhere."
"lori, did you see her?"
"no!"
"we have to go. find mom and the others." rick sternly says, raising his gun at another walker that got too close to us. "it's my farm!" hershel reasons. rick grabs him by one of his suspenders and drags him towards one of the only cars left, "not anymore, come on!"
we all jog towards the car, and to our luck, the doors were unlocked. i throw open the door and let lola go inside, then me, then carl so i'd be in the middle of them. just as rick started the car hershel slammed his door closed, "go!" rick steps on the peddle and skirts down the dirt road as fast as he could.
i feel both of the kids lay they're heads on me. i wrap my arms around them both and pull them close as tears started to brim my eyes, i held in my sob.
i just left my zombified husbands body in a field that probably got trampled by walkers. i'll never be able to feel shane's touch again, hear his beautiful laugh, see his smile, hear his corny jokes. never again.
but these kids, what they're going through so young, they don't deserve. because at the end of the day, they're just kids. they're used to school, and parents handling their responsibilities. and now, they have huge ones. guns. being smart. trying not to get killed. it's a lot for them at their age. and they don't deserve it, they really don't.
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!gif is of nikki when she gets in the car after the farm!