Songs for this chapter:
• Stay With Me - Sam Smith
Chapter Twenty-Three:
Bryce's POV
She doesn't say a single word to me.
She just crouches down on the floor beside me, keeping her arms firmly wrapped around my body as I cry.
She begins to stroke my hair. It gives me an absurd amount of comfort, enough so that I'm able to sob, "I'm so sorry."
She doesn't respond to me at first. Instead, she unwraps her arms from my body and I suddenly feel so cold and alone all over again.
It's sort of scary how she has enough power over me to alter my emotions as simply as that.
Her hand in my hair slowly moves down my face, and she reaches for my chin to tilt my face up towards her. I try to fight her touch for a moment before I eventually just give in, lifting my head to make eye contact with her.
"Why are you sorry, Bryce? You shouldn't be sorry. I'm the one who's sorry," Blossom whispers, her gaze suddenly becoming too intense for me to hold.
I look away, tilting my chin down, but Blossom still has a hand on my face and so she forces me to look at her once more. She has this look in her eye that's absolutely heartbreaking, and it feels as if she's looking into the deepest fucking depths of my soul.
"Are you having a panic attack, Bryce?" she then asks me softly, and a whimper falls from my lips.
I nod my head at her and watch as her eyebrows furrow. I can tell that she's disappointed in me by the way all of the light has faded from her eyes. Now all I see is sorrow, and the fact that this is all my fault makes my heart ache.
"What can I do to make it better, baby?" Blossom asks softly, both of her hands gently cupping my face now.
She brushes some of my tears away with the pads of her thumbs, but it doesn't seem to do much as tears are still falling from my eyes like a goddamn waterfall. Blossom doesn't seem to care. She just stares at me with a sad smile, holding me close as she remains kneeling beside me.
"I need you to talk to me, Bryce. What can I do? Do you want me to go and get your medication?" she then questions.
My sweet angel. She can't ever leave me. I won't be able to survive without her in my life.
"I need a hug," I sniffle.
Blossom's eyebrows fly up, as if that wasn't at all the answer that she had anticipated.
I don't know what else she thinks would make me feel any better than a hug from her, though. Nothing makes me happier than her arms around me, her soft lips pressed against mine.
There's nothing in the entire fucking world that I want more than her love.
Blossom watches as I straighten my legs, my arms falling to my sides. I lean my head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. I feel her sit down beside me, and it's as though she's watching my chest rise and fall as I continue my controlled breathing.
Deep breath in. Hold. Exhale. Deep breath in. Hold. Exhale. Deep breath in. Hold. Exhale.
She wraps her arms around me as best she can, pulling me into an awkward side-hug. It's adorable how much she cares and so I don't laugh at her no matter how ridiculous we must look right now.
I almost hug her back but I stop myself, instead gripping her hips and then pulling me into her lap. She lets out a squeal of surprise and delight, hooking her legs around my waist. This position allows us to actually embrace each other now, and so I cling to her just as she always holds on to me as we sit here together in silence.
She lets me cry against her shoulder as I hold her in my arms. She gently strokes my hair the entire time, peppering the occasional kisses against the side of my neck.
She feels so small and warm and I never want to let go of her.
"I love you. So much," she tells me all of a sudden.
"I love you too. So much," I respond without hesitation.
I feel her smile against my neck and I squeeze her tighter in response. She giggles, exclaiming, "Ouch, Bryce! You're too strong. You're going to crush me."
I can't help but to chuckle at that, and there's something about laughing that feels extremely damn freeing right now. How she always is able to lift my mood like this is a fucking miracle and I don't know what I've ever done to deserve a love like this.
On the other hand, I've done so many things that make it seem as if I deserve shit.
I know that I'm too fucking overprotective of her and also that I get way too damn jealous when another guy even glances in her direction. I just love her with my whole heart and want her to be treated like a princess, and I know that I'll be able to make her far happier than any other man could.
"You're really trying to feed my ego, aren't you?" I reply, finding her adorably dorky and random comments hilarious.
I slowly pull my face out from the crook of her neck, then looking her directly in the eye. Her eyes have begun to tear up as well, and I kiss away the first tear that slides down her cheek.
"Perhaps I am, Mr. Bradshaw," she replies smiling, and I grin at her as she leans in to kiss me on the tip of my nose.
"You have no clue how happy you make me feel, Blossom. I'll never be able to repay you for the joy that you've brought me. Even when you weren't by my side, the memories that I have with you have saved me from a dark fucking place," I whisper, watching as Blossom's eyes tear up even more.
"Oh, Bryce. You've saved me too. Without you, I would still have an awful relationship with my mom, and I would still probably be hurting myself. Our memories make me so unbelievably happy as well," Blossom responds and I grin at her.
"I can't believe you love the mess that I am. I literally just had a panic attack on the floor of a bathroom in your parents' house. I don't even know how to properly apologise for the mess that I've made," I say, to which Blossom giggles once again.
"A kiss would suffice," she replies slyly, a mischievous glint suddenly in her eye.
I give her a small smile before reaching for her face. I hold her in place by using one hand to cup her jaw, letting the fingers of my other hand slide back to tangle into her hair.
The door is wide open, and though I know that I should make a move to close it, I don't get a chance to before Blossom strains up and presses a kiss to my mouth.
Her lips are soft as always, and I love how eager she seems to be. I could feel how much she loves me even when she had only brushed her lips against mine; I could feel it through my whole body. Her love for me appears to be boundless, and I feel just the same about her.
I kiss her back, slowly at first. I want to savour every moment with her, cherishing every second as if it could be our last, and so I don't try and rush our kiss.
Instead, I work my mouth slowly against hers, taking her bottom lip between my teeth and gently tugging.
"You're a desperate little thing, aren't you?" I tease her as soon as I release her lip. Her response is a breathy moan, and I try to hide my surprise at how much she's managed to escalate things already.
Her hands reach for the material of my sweatshirt and she tugs, fiercely. I know that she's signalling that she wants to take it off, but I think it would be much more fun for her to have to ask.
I lean down to brush my lips against her throat, feeling her shudder. Her grip on my sweatshirt slowly loosens, and she lets out a soft whine of protest as I pull my face away from her.
"Why can't I take your sweatshirt off? I want to touch you," she says, and I can't stop the sly smile from creeping up onto my lips.
She's almost like a drug: she's completely flipped my mood around by now, and I'm fucking grateful for it.
"Did I ever say that you couldn't?" I reply, and she scowls at me.
She folds her arms across her chest and pouts, staring at me. I roll my eyes at her but I don't want her to be mad at my actions as I was mad at her actions, and so I yank my sweatshirt up over my head.
I toss the sweatshirt across the bathroom and Blossom smiles at me for only a moment before she frowns once again.
"What's the problem now, Blossom darling?" I ask her sweetly, watching as her eyes roam my torso.
"You just had to wear a T-shirt underneath, didn't you?" she says quietly, and I can't help but to grin even wider at the disgust on her face thanks to this plain black T-shirt.
"Why wouldn't I be wearing a T-shirt underneath?" I respond, and Blossom sighs before moving to tug my shirt off.
I assist her in pulling the shirt up and over my head. It joins my sweatshirt on the floor but I don't get a chance to comprehend much before Blossom's hands are pressed right against my chest.
She lets out a soft sound of contentment before she leans in and kisses me again, chastely. Her kisses are always so sweet and tender, and every time she kisses me it just makes me feel so much better.
Blossom seems to be enjoying running her hands up and down my chest and back, but her hands eventually stop roaming and instead settle on gripping my shoulders. I use my own hands to hold her hips, and though it wasn't my intention to suggest that she starts rocking her hips against me, I'm certainly not opposed to it.
It begins to escalate even further when Blossom's lips trail down my jaw and neck. She kisses my neck softly at first, but having the feeling that she might be hoping to give me a hickey, I have to stop her as her parents would surely see the mark when we eventually return to dinner.
Shit. We've really got to get back to dinner.
"You've got to stop, baby. You can't make me hard before we go back to dinner with your family," I tell her softly, and her eyes go wider than I've ever seen before.
She makes a sound almost like a gasp before she clamps a hand across my mouth. "Bryce! You can't say things like that!" she hisses.
I give her an innocent smile that I'm sure she can feel with the palm of her hand.
"I'm a grown man. I can say whatever I want," I counter, my voice slightly muffled by Blossom's hand.
She scowls at me, still keeping her hand across my mouth, and so I stick my tongue out to lick a stripe across the palm of her hand.
"Bryce!" she squeals, retracting her hand before proceeding to madly wipe it on my thigh.
I can't stop a chuckle from escaping me, and it results in full-blown cackling when Blossom then exclaims, "Can you stop with all this kinkiness?"
It takes me a moment to catch my breath and stop laughing, Blossom staring at me with her eyes narrowed the entire time.
Eventually, I reply by asking, "When are you going to stop saying the word 'kinkiness', you dork?"
Blossom scowls at me, but I don't give her a chance to respond before I adjust our position so that her back is pressed to the floor and I'm kneeling between her legs.
Her expression softens as she stares up into my eyes. She reached a hand to press against my cheek, brushing her thumb against the stubble on my jaw.
"We shouldn't be doing this, my love. Not here," I tell her softly, and she sticks her bottom lip out in a pout in response.
"But I want another kiss, Bryce. Please?" she says, her voice equally as low.
I look at her face, really look. Her brows are furrowed the tiniest bit, her eyes brimming with desire. Her cheeks are flushed pink and her soft lips are still pouted, waiting for me to respond. It's as though my dream girl was created just for me, except she's also coincidentally the sweetest girl in the entire world as well.
She's so fucking beautiful. She's too perfect to even be real.
"I could never say no to you," I murmur, bringing my lips back to meet hers.
Suddenly, someone sneezes from down the hallway.
I immediately pry my lips away from Blossom's and we turn our heads to look down the hallway in unison.
Adriana and Addison are standing there with terror in their eyes, watching us thanks to the fact that the door has been open this entire time.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"Oh my God!" Blossom exclaims, her face going white with embarrassment.
She moves out from underneath me, scrambling to her feet. She smoothes down her clothes as best as she can, brushing her hair back out of her face which just puts her flaming red cheeks on show.
I sigh, standing up from the floor as well. I'm half undressed already, and so I don't bother fixing my clothes before I turn to the twins to ask them, "How long have you been watching?"
Apparently they're both rendered silent, and so it takes a little while for either to respond.
Eventually, Adriana says, "Since when your sweatshirt came off."
I roll my eyes at them, but Blossom gasps beside me before she hurries across the small bathroom, bending down to retrieve my T-shirt and sweatshirt.
"You have to put some clothes on, Bryce!" Blossom hisses, tossing my shirt at me.
I hold the shirt in my hand for a moment, turning away from Adriana and Addison and back to my girl to remind her, "They've seen photos of my without a shirt on before. Tons of people have. There's no need to freak out."
A range of emotions flashes across her face, and I don't have enough time to interpret what she's feeling before she says, "I know. I just don't like to be reminded."
Her voice is quiet and one-tone. It makes me instantly pull my T-shirt down over my head, and when she hands me my sweatshirt I do the exact same.
I reach for Blossom's hand but she slips both hands into the pockets of her jeans before I get a chance to take it.
Ouch.
I give her a sad smile, but she just stares down at the ground.
She can't shut down like this right now. I need her to be here for me. If not, I may lose my shit again.
Trying to distract myself, I turn back to the twins, who are being obnoxious and continuing to watch Blossom and I, to ask, "Were you planning on standing there and watching us even though we were about to have sex?"
Their eyes widen.
"No! Of course not!" Addison answers.
"But we wouldn't be opposed to the idea of seeing you naked, Bryce," Adriana adds.
I can't help but to scowl at them and their disgusting behaviour. "Lexi is your family, in case you two have somehow managed to fucking forget it. You should respect her privacy and boundaries more than you do. It's not right for you to attempt to butt into her relationship like this."
The twins stand there, completely still, and they blink at me.
Without another word, they nod their heads in perfect unison and casually turn around, walking down the hallway and away from Blossom and I as if nothing had even happened.
"I'm so done with them. Can I go stay with you and your dad until they leave?" Blossom asks quietly.
I turn back to her slowly. Her hands are still in her pockets but she's no longer staring down at the ground. She makes eye contact with me straight away, and I give her a sympathetic smile even though she's fucking confusing me right now.
"You've got to stay here with your family, baby," I remind her and she suddenly goes right back to staring at the ground.
Sighing, I step towards her and use my index finger to tilt her chin up, forcing her to look up at me once more.
I don't even have to encourage her to speak before she blurts out, "I don't understand the whole social media thing that you do. I don't understand how you make money online and I don't know why you have to post photos of yourself shirtless for everyone to see, because you're supposed to be mine."
I freeze, surprised by her outburst. "I didn't realise that you were so . . . territorial."
She lets out an exasperated sigh. "Don't pretend that you aren't the same way, Bryce. Remember when you thought I had sex with some guy on the soccer team and you lost your mind?" she replies softly but slyly.
I smile back. "I hate the idea of another man touching you and we both know that. I do believe that you feel the same way, yes?" I respond.
She blushes a little bit, and I remove my finger from underneath her chin as she responds, "Yeah. You're right. I would never trust anyone else. Heck, I'd never want to be with anyone else."
"I don't want to be with anyone else either. Never again. Speaking of that, I really am sorry for failing to protect you that night at the club when the guy . . . slipped something in your drink. I'm so sorry that he got to touch you, Blossom," I tell her quietly before instantly regretting bringing that up, especially considering that we're in a bathroom as we speak.
What the fuck is wrong with you, Bryce? Why would you say that shit right now? You're just making it harder for her to move past it, dammit.
Blossom lets out a soft whimper before she bridges the gap between us, collapsing into my arms.
She hugs me tight, and though it takes me a moment to react, I hug her back just as hard.
"He didn't touch me. Not really. He didn't get too far," Blossom sniffles, burying her face into the fabric of my sweatshirt.
"But I thought—" I begin before she cuts me off by taking a tiny step away from me so that there's only a few inches of space between us.
She reaches for my hand, gripping my wrist. She slowly pulls my hand towards her body, placing it so that my fingers are just above the apex of her thighs, around the bottom of the zipper of her jeans.
I feel my eyebrows fly up, but she immediately clarifies by saying, "He only got to touch me here. Not any lower. At first I thought he was touching me . . . you know where, but it was only because I felt so exposed already. He didn't touch me where you touch me. Not here."
She moves my hand so that my fingers are between my thighs, and I lean forward to kiss her hair and pull her tight to me.
"I'm sorry for bringing it up. I'm glad he didn't get too far. I know how broken you would be," I say quietly, and she lets out a sad sound that I can't quite describe.
My heart fucking aches for her and all of the situations that she's been in where she was almost raped. It makes me fiercely protective of her and it fucking breaks me to know how many times she's been violated like that.
I'm sure it doesn't hurt me nearly as much as it hurts her, and just imagining her pain . . .
Fuck.
Blossom wraps her arms around my waist once again, and I cradle her to my chest as she says, "I'm sorry for always getting so emotional when these things are brought up, Bryce. I really am. It's just still really hard for me to comprehend that so many things have happened to me and that I'm sure there are many more in store."
"Oh, baby girl. Don't ever say that. I love you, sweetheart, no matter what. You're my girl, and it's my job to help you heal. I'll be here for you know matter what, and I'll always be there to hold you when you need a shoulder to cry on. We all have baggage and we both have a lot of demons to battle, but we can get through this together, okay? I never want you to applogise for your feelings, sweetheart," I tell her, my voice hoarse.
Blossom slowly pulls her face away from my chest and she looks up at me with watery eyes. "You're the best person I know, Bryce Bradshaw."
I grin back at her, kissing her forehead this time. "It's what you deserve, honey. You were there for me when I was just having a panic attack on the bathroom floor, after all," I whisper.
She gets a strange look in her eye for a moment, but then her face lights up with a massive smile that reaches her eyes. "You've never called me 'honey' before, but I think I sort of like it."
Her cheeks blush again, a slight pink flush and not a bright red like when we caught Adriana and Addison spying on us; it's fucking adorable this time around.
"It sort of makes me sound like a lame-ass old man, no?" I reply, and Blossom giggles while shaking her head at me.
"No. I love your nicknames for me. I always have. I like how you called me 'baby' before we even got together, too. There's something about it that makes me feel so loved and protected," Blossom says wistfully, and I reach up to brush my thumb against the inside of her lower lip while her mouth is still slightly open.
Thank fucking God. I was worried you thought I was a creep for it, but I just really love you and I loved you even then.
"I'm so fucking glad, Blossom," I reply to her, which makes her smile fade for some reason.
Dammit! I can't bare to see her upset again.
She's always so good at understanding me, therefore she's able to read my change in emotions well enough to understand my confusion, and so she explains herself softly.
"Your panic attack . . . What was it about? Like, what happened that made you so upset?" she asks me innocently.
I involuntarily suck in a sharp breath.
I consider not telling her the truth as I don't want to continue this weird love triangle between her, Mateo, and I, knowing damn well that it's immature and fucking stupid to even consider as her and I are actually together now.
But when I weigh my options I'm immediately able to figure out that it's a way damn better idea to just tell her the truth.
"I'm just kind of stressed about everything going on, especially knowing that Mateo is going to be staying with my dad and I for the holidays, and so when you left my side to be with him, I freaked out. I know that he's going through much more than me right now, but sometimes you're all that keeps me grounded, and so not having you by my side made me lose my shit," I answer her hesitantly and I watch horror flash in her eyes.
"Oh, Bryce. I'm so fucking sorry. I had no clue that I was making you feel that way. I just wanted to be nice to Matt because he's my friend and I felt obligated to be there for him. But, you're my best friend and I need to be there for you just the same, if not even more. Can I do something to make it better? Will you forgive me?" she says quietly.
She's too damn genuine and sweet and kind for me to ever be upset with her for long. I can tell that she clearly didn't mean to hurt me, and that she was just acting like a sweet angel by being there for a friend.
"Of course I forgive you, darling. I'm not upset with you. Thank you for helping me through it," I reply to her, which makes her clap her hands together in glee.
She now has a grateful and satisfied smile on her face, and I can't help but to grin back at the pure and utter joy that she's now radiating.
A/N: I haven't updated in like, a year, and so I wrote you guys a 4k word chapter to make up for it ;)
How is everyone doing? I have so much homework and I have lines to learn for theatre, which is totally stressing me out. The stress is putting me in a bit of a creative slump, but I have so many great ideas for this book and so I'm trying to get all of my thoughts down on paper as quickly as I can <3
Anywho, thank you all for the support and love you give me and my books. It makes me so freaking happy. I can't even put it into words.