The ocean drew a deep breath.
Suddenly, and all at once, everything came back to life.
The sounds of the twin's spirited words were drowned beneath the roaring in Ashlyn's ears, the jagged sounds of her breathing smothering her. Three steps at most stood between where her feet sunk into the sand and the shifting waves that rolled up on the shore. Three steps, but a lifetime of disillusions.
The girls continued their taunts from the water, oblivious to the rising storm that raged inside of Ashlyn.
She had no doubt that everyone was watching, and there would be no turning back if she ran from this now. But still, her flight instincts urged her on, the security of the sandy dunes more promising than the mysterious depths that approached.
Her hands twisted tightly in the fabric of her dress, and her toes curled and clung to the granules of sand, as she fought to maintain a steady heart and a clear head. Panic and fear thrashed against her from all angles, the thoughts she'd always fought against spiraling in her head. The sand rose and fell, a dizzying ordeal, as the call of the ocean throbbed behind her skull.
Thoughts of the darkness that rushed her, the burning in her throat as she had descended into the belly of the beast, warred against the memories of twilight dancing and childish squeals, playing in the swells with her father on those sleepless summer nights.
Just as she was about to retreat and face whatever ridicule came her way for doing so, a teasing wind of salt and a hint of her father's favorite breath mints swept around her, staying her steps.
A still small voice reached out to her, it's softly spoken voice commanding her limbs as it carried across the ocean's surface and brushed across her ears. The voice foreign, yet so familiar, was music to her ears.
An ever beckoning song sung from its lips, commanding her to come closer, to trust and endure. It beckoned as she swayed on her heels. To come or to go, she did not know. But still, it beckoned.
Ashlyn hesitated, her foot sliding ever so slightly closer, then the other.
The water reached, icy tendrils clawing closer towards her, all while the voice continued its inspiring promptings.
Her hand suddenly felt warm at her side, like it was being held in a comforting grip. But when she glanced down all that was there was an empty space beside her. An empty space where he'd once stood with her before the very same waves that broke upon one another.
The voice continued to speak, slowly gaining in volume until it was the strongest of sounds in her ear.
"That's it, baby, one step more," he encouraged, his voice beckoning her out into the shallows where he stood.
Hesitantly she shuffled out to stand in the wet sand, her feet sinking below her. It felt squishy, and ticklish, coating her small feet. Cautiously, she trained her eyes on the horizon behind her father, watching as the flat expanse lay peacefully in waiting. Her father smiled, taking a step towards her, his hand outstretched.
She took another couple of steps towards him, her eyes glowing with a mix of intrigue and wonder. But when the waves rose up and came roaring towards the sand where she stood, Ashlyn squealed and dashed back up the sand where she knew it could never reach her.
Her Father's answering chuckle was soft as it filled the air behind her. When she turned to glance his way, water clung to the hairs of his legs where the waves had crashed around him. But he was smiling, a joyous smile that said he was okay. He wasn't afraid.
Before the next wave could reach the shore, he ran back towards her haven amidst the dry sand. Sand clung to his wet feet, and rogue pieces attached themselves to his legs as he crouched beside her and whispered in her ear.
"Don't let your fear steal your joy, sweetheart. Together, we can do this," he cupped her cheek and gave a nod of encouragement. "Are you ready?" he asked, his other hand held out for the taking.
Steeling her spine, and with a determined glint in her eye, she nodded. She clasped his hand firmly in hers, and together they walked out to where the sand met the sea and waited for the next wave to approach.
The rumblings of the surf began to draw closer, and she tensed. Her grip on her father's hand grew stronger, her nails biting into the back of his hand. The instinct to run was strong, and she began to pull back.
But instead of letting her go and allowing her to run in the face of this fear, he squeezed her hand, a reminder that she wasn't alone. She was never alone. With that squeeze, he told her that he believed in her strength. In her courage.
With her eyes squeezed shut, she let the waves come, a startled squeal bursting at the same moment the wave broke around her ankles. She swayed, the force at which it came surprising her, but her father was quick to catch her, his other hand resting firmly on her shoulder.
When she felt the water begin its ticklish retreat in the direction from whence it came, she opened her eyes. When she tilted her head back and looked into the proud eyes of her father, her heart swelled within her.
Quicker than she expected, he scooped her up in his arms and spun her around, droplets of water arcing from her legs. His praises and encouragements descended upon her and carried into the rest of the afternoon as they'd played together in the shallows, his baby girl having tasted the joy of the ocean for the first time.
With him by her side, she felt safe and bold, like she could do anything. And they did. All afternoon they laughed and played and ventured further out into the surf, her father close by her side every step of the way.
When the sun had begun to set, and the waves had mellowed into gentle lapping at their feet, he'd tucked her against his side, and smiled.
"You did me proud today, baby. The way you played in the waves and were so brave." He brushed the hair back from her cheeks. "You can do anything you put your mind to, my beautiful little mermaid," he beamed, his voice a soft caress that enveloped her with its safety and assurances.
Another wave, soft and fluffy as a down blanket, rolled upon the shore and folded around their ankles.
The water was cold as it kissed her ankles, the softly spoken words dissipating on the breeze that tangled within her curls. A gasp stole from her lungs as she stumbled back, her feet dragging through the sinking sand.
That cool kiss hadn't been a part of her memory. She'd felt it, clear as day. Somehow, lost in the memory of that day with her father, she'd lost control of her movements and had drawn too close to the rolling waves.
The water continued its ebb and flow, unfazed by the events that had transpired. All while Ashlyn's heart thundered in her chest at the vivid memory that had quickly shifted into the tangible textures she'd just experienced.
Twenty years had passed since the last time she'd felt the shifting sand and the foamy kisses, her muscle memory dormant through it all. But with one touch, with one unexpected kiss, her body had responded as though it had only been a day. Her toes had buried into the sand, the granules tickling the soles of her feet when the wave had swept them away.
Panic skirted the corners of her mind, rising within at the thought of what she'd just done. She'd approached the ocean, felt its touch between her toes, and it hadn't consumed her.
Despite the crippling shock she felt as she watched the waves recede once more, she couldn't deny the ghost of strength and freedom she also felt as it approached. While her mind assaulted her with the fear and the implications of what she'd just done, her heart responded with a weakened affection, as though it had been reunited with a long lost love.
While a sense of apprehension still remained, she felt a weight slowly lifting in her chest, as though something had shifted. Nothing could have prepared her for the strength the ocean could have given her, as wild as it seemed after everything else that had tainted its memories in the past.
'As a ship tossed upon the waves, life is all about how you take control and navigate the turbulence that comes, and how much of the damaging waters you allow to board your ship,' the voice upon the ocean spoke. When Ashlyn breathed it in and allowed the empowerment of the words to settle within her mind and her heart, her perspective began to change.
She'd heard these words spoken in a conversation between her father and Abel one afternoon as they'd watched the swells, but until that moment, standing around the blurred edges of the fears that had commanded her ship, she hadn't realized what he'd meant. But now she did, she understood. And that realization gave her a deeper appreciation for what she had just done and the lessons her father had been instilling in her since she was but a twinkle in her mother's eye.
With each breath she drew, deeper and more composed, she was able to take greater control of the turbulence that rolled through her and her response, and she felt her heartbeat slow.
The roaring in Ashlyn's ears slowly subsided and was replaced by the rumbles of low cheering and applause.
Ashlyn glanced over her shoulder and saw that she was not alone in her celebration. Every set of eyes seated around the bonfire was on her, exhibiting a range of emotional displays. Lost in the euphoria of what she'd just managed to do, she neglected the discomfort she felt at being watched.
Her eyes searched the gathering and found Kass's first, a broad grin splitting her cheeks, her hand against her chest with pride. Ashlyn smiled back, her lips trembling.
Her eyes continued to move, stalling on Abel, who wiped at his cheeks, with that same green handkerchief. The pride that bloomed in his eyes and his smile caused a warm swelling in her chest.
Her gaze continued to drift across the different faces, taking in the pride, the joy, the emotion of everyone gathered, until finally, she found the eyes that she'd been searching for.
His eyes were the richest espresso, warm and invigorating, glistening as he gazed back. He didn't reach up to wipe the tears as they flowed down his cheeks, but instead, let them fall. He just looked at her, and she looked at him.
'Proud of you,' his lips moved in a silent message, the pride and joy he felt for her at that moment evident in the set of his eyes, and the smile he could not erase.
Her heart liquified, touched by the sentiment. The invisible cord that connected them tugged, and Ashlyn took a step towards him, wanting nothing more than to know his embrace, to share in his joy at that moment.
As if guided by the same invisible cord, Derek took a couple of steps towards her. Ashlyn felt that her heart was flip-flopping in her chest.
Neither had made it more than a total of five steps when suddenly something cold like rain hit Ashlyn's back.
One of the girls laughed behind her, and more drops of water followed until the back of Ashlyn's legs were dripping. Her friends and family laughed on the beach, the delicate moment having met its end in favor of the new game the twins had orchestrated.
Derek's laughter boomed across the beach as the rain continued to fall down upon her legs, her dress clinging awkwardly to the back of her thighs.
Ashlyn turned to face the twins, a playful spark in her eyes as she assessed the situation. The twins danced in the breaking waves, their tongues out as they taunted her to come and get them again.
Swept up in the adrenaline of the moment, she laughed and boldly stepped back into the ankle-deep water and kicked out at the water that rippled around her. The joy that flooded her at such a gesture made her laugh again. She felt like she was that young girl, playing in the waves for the first time all over again. With each kick, she felt the fear slowly chipping away, in favor of this new strength she didn't know she'd still possessed.
The twins' squeals danced on the ocean breeze, and Ashlyn's heart moved within her chest. The gentle lapping of the ocean and the sounds of unblemished joy were enough to make Ashlyn believe in magic again.
The voice that had called her and coaxed her towards the water paired with the carefree spirit the twins had awoken in her had not occurred by mistake. She knew it hadn't.
Derek's arrival in town, the friendship they shared, the twins' presence, and the magic of the fourth of July, the comforting presence of her father's spirit, had all been part of a perfectly orchestrated plan that had brought her to that moment. A moment that had the power to give her hope. This part of her father, once tainted, was now cultivated to bloom.
Though it wasn't much, Ashlyn could look upon the cerulean waves, and the first thing she thought of at that moment wasn't of fire or her father falling. She thought of the squeals of delight, and the comfort of his presence at her side as they'd faced this together the first time, and again now.
For the next ten minutes, the three of them continued their water fight, neither of them wading any deeper into the water, for which Ashlyn was pleased. While she felt brave enough to stand in the shallows, she'd made enough progress for one day.
For the moment, a quiet peace existed between her and the ocean, and she didn't dare to test its boundaries. Perhaps another day, if the magic remained, she would try to wade deeper.
When they were as saturated as they could be, Sage observed Derek approaching across the sand, calling out as such. She then turned to Poppy and beckoned Ashlyn over to whisper in their ears. The secret pact created between them sealed with a fit of giggles and vigorous head nodding.
When Derek stepped into the water to let them know it was time for dinner, he was met by three cheeky grins. As soon as he drew close enough, Ashlyn counted down from three on the fingers she hid behind her back, and the twins began to splash water in his direction.
His laughter erupted around them as he tried to fend off as much of the water as he could. His efforts, however, were wasted. Or perhaps it was merely that he wasn't trying hard enough.
The twins' laughter was like the high pitched tinkling of bells and chimes, their little arms moving swiftly, the water they flung, reaching no higher than Derek's waist.
Sensing her team's need for assistance, Ashlyn stooped to cup her hands in the water and lifted them towards Derek, joining the twins in the shower they bestowed upon him.
Her nose scrunched in laughter when one arc of water reached high enough to crash against his face. Startled for a fraction of a second, he shook his head and wiped his narrowed eyes.
"You!" He laughed, his gaze cutting to Ashlyn. "You started this!"
Ashlyn had but a moment to realize what the spark in his eyes meant before her own widened and she slugged out of his way, the water ricocheting around her. His laughter was drowned by the slapping of the water as he stomped his way towards her, his movements creating their own waves.
The twins continued to squeal and laugh, and went as far as to step aside when Ashlyn tried to hide behind them.
"Go, Uncle Derek," Poppy cheered, jumping on the spot.
Ashlyn feigned shock when the twins grabbed on to her hands to hold her in place, which only made them squeal louder. She knew that she had been caught and that she would pay for her involvement in such a scheme. A punishment she only pretended she didn't want, for the twins' benefit.
"Get her," Sage shrieked, her laughter bubbling around her words, as she moved behind Ashlyn and pushed her towards Derek.
His arms were about her waist in seconds, the wind escaping her lungs for a moment. Ashlyn leaned forward, her knees brushing the surface of the waters below, in the hope that he would let go, but his hold only tightened further.
In one swift movement, Derek turned her in his arms so that her chest was against his. Her feet lifted from the sand below as he held her tightly against his body like a human shield.
The twins required no other signal, as they began to splash again, this time coming at Derek and Ashlyn from both sides. Derek turned her from side to side, warding off as much of the water from himself as he could, while Ashlyn wrapped her arms around his neck, her head thrown back. Their bodies quaked together in laughter as the water swiftly began to seep through the materials of their clothing.
With all the water that fell upon their hands and skin, holding tight proved its own challenge.
Derek's arms tightened around her waist as she began to slip in his arms, and Ashlyn pulled her legs up to wrap them around his waist for extra stability. She tightened her arms around his neck and buried her face against his collarbone, smothering the laughter that had brought on tears.
A sudden shout burst from Derek's lips at the same moment that a heavy weight of water slapped Ashlyn's legs, startling her.
Ashlyn lifted her head at the same moment that Derek spun abruptly to face one of the girls. Consumed by another fit of laughter, Ashlyn took in the sight of a grinning Sage who held an empty sand bucket in the air. That explained where the extra water had come from.
"Now you all wet," Sage jumped on the spot in victory.
The bucket swayed over Sage's head while she danced and laughed, pride radiating off of her. Ashlyn and Derek could only laugh and appreciate her ingenuity, even if it had meant that they ended up wetter than expected.
Ashlyn's dress hugged her body, and her auburn curls felt weighted as they clung to the middle of her back, no doubt tickling Derek's hands as he held her. She felt herself begin to slip in his arms just as Sage stooped to fill the bucket again, a wicked twinkle in her eye.
Torn between facing the onslaught like a good sport, and fleeing, leaving Derek to face it alone, Ashlyn's hold around his neck slacked as she wiggled in his arms. His arm tightened around her waist, rejecting any escape. Ashlyn laughed.
Rearranging his hold on her, Derek reached out with his other hand to grab Sage, who squealed and ran over to stand with Poppy, the half-filled bucket abandoned in her escape.
"I hope you brought a change of clothes," Derek laughed, his head leaning back so he could see Ashlyn's face. With a shake of her head and a shrug of her shoulders, Ashlyn turned her neck and watched the twins who now splashed one another.
A contented smile warmed her cheeks. It was worth it for the joy that it brought them and brought her.
Derek turned them slightly, and a couple of stray droplets splashed against her side as the twins moved closer to avoid the water they each tossed in the other's direction.
Stealing a glance in his direction, Ashlyn felt a warmth pool in her stomach at the joy that was stamped upon his lips, and that burned in his eyes while he watched his nieces play.
All at once, he breathed life into her spirit and stole that same breath from her lungs. She was addicted to the feeling. To him. Her increasing attraction to him had her heart performing somersaults, and her mind running at a million miles an hour to process all the mixed feelings and sensations.
"Alright, girls, I think Uncle Derek and Ashlyn have had more than enough," a woman laughed from the safety of the sand. The unsteady rainfall across Ashlyn's skin ceased, and the twins both groaned.
"Come on. It's time to eat dinner," the woman, who Ashlyn realized had to be Derek's sister, Lorraine, added.
Ashlyn watched over Derek's shoulder as Poppy and Sage skipped through the water and ran over to their waiting mother. When their laughter had faded in the air, Ashlyn unwound her legs from Derek's waist as he lowered her body so that her feet squished through the sand, the water gently breaking around her ankles. But he didn't let her go.
There was a gentle breeze in the air, but despite all the water that her dress held and the trickles that ran down her front from her hair, a fire burned beneath her skin, ignited by his proximity and the desires she'd felt at the moment. She could feel the heat that radiated from him, like a furnace, as he brushed the damp strands of hair back from her face, his hands gently grazing her cheeks.
Her breath slowed, her lips parted as she gazed up at him through wet lashes. His eyes were locked on hers, his hand still in her hair, his fingertip a feather against her lashes as he dislodged a curl that was caught.
Her hands tightened around the collar of his shirt, grounding herself to the moment.
He swallowed hard, and his lips parted as though to speak, but the words were caught. Ashlyn watched the outline of his lips, observing his struggle to form the sounds he desperately wanted to.
She could feel each tug as he fidgeted with one of her curls, his fingers twisting too tightly at times. His other hand rested atop her shoulder, and she could feel its slight tremor.
"Ashlyn," he breathed. He paused. His eyes flitted from hers to the horizon behind her, and back to hers again as he blinked slowly. She watched him with nervous anticipation wondering what it was that he had trouble saying. She was confident that she knew what he was trying to say, to do. And her body said that she was ready, her mind craving for it.
Her heart, the final piece of the puzzle pounded, and she was sure that he could hear it. It hoped, and it feared, all at once.
"I..." he hesitated, and together they held their breath, Ashlyn a tightly wound knot of nerves waiting for what he wished to say. The silence dragged on, everything tensing with anticipation.
"I think we should go and eat before the twins finish it all," he spoke in a rush and gave a nervous chuckle, his arms falling from around her waist.
Ashlyn's heart gave a dissatisfied thump.
Removing her arms from around his neck, she took a step back and looked up at him with a boldness she didn't know she possessed.
That's not really what you wanted to say, is it? She asked, the turning of her stomach making her dizzy, but she had to know. She had to hear him say it, even if the prospect still terrified her a little.
Derek's cheeks filled with crimson as he gazed back at her with more emotions than she could regard. It took all of her resolve not to look away, her eyes moving rapidly to take in everything that she saw in his expression.
Neither of them moved nor spoke, both seeming to be at war with the words unspoken but so very prominent in their thoughts. Ashlyn watched the rising of his chest when he drew a deep breath, her own breathing a mirror to his.
With each second that felt like minutes that passed, Ashlyn felt something building within her, ready to implode. Before she reached that point, however, something moved over Derek's shoulder, and the feeling inside deflated. She wanted to sag with relief and scream at him, at herself, for not saying something.
"Foods getting cold," a great voice shouted from behind. And just like that, the emotions were wiped from Derek's face, replaced with a contented smile.
She gazed into his eyes once more, hoping for some indication that she wasn't the only one with this dizzying thoughts. He continued to look at her the same way he always had, and with that confirmation, she let go of the little piece of hope she'd clung to.
I guess I was wrong, she thought, her lips turning up into a smile to mask the confusion she felt. And a little disappointment too.