July 4th 2019
I WAKE UP to already hear loud chatter from the neighbors out my window. when i open my blinds i see the usual 4th of July block party being set up. the smell of pancakes had reached my room from the kitchen.
eager to start the day, i throw on a white USA t-shirt tucked into dark blue jean shorts and red high top converse that i barely ever wear, but it felt right to wear them considering the occasion.
when i made it down to the kitchen i stopped, surprised to see Ham, Benny, and Smalls sitting at my kitchen counter with pancakes.
"well good morning sleeping beauty." Evelyn mocked from beside Ham.
"that joke is getting old." i send her a look.
"alright boys ready for round 4?" my mom is at the stove flipping more pancakes.
"what are you guys doing here so early?" i approach the counter and sit next to Smalls.
"Eating pancakes..." Ham says with a mouthful, "duh!"
"Brynn it's not early it's a few minutes past noon." Benny laughs.
"oops." i sarcastically widen my eyes.
"they came by a while ago to see if you were awake and wanted to hang out, but you weren't so i offered them pancakes." my mom says with a bright smile. the three of them just nodded in agreement.
"okay, well what do you guys want to do today before the night game?" i take a pancake and fork a piece into my mouth.
"we could go play some ball!" Benny suggested, but Smalls and Ham were quick to shut that thought down and i laughed.
"we could just go hang out with our neighbors at the block party." i shrugged, and they agreed.
as soon as we stepped foot outside the smell of hot dogs hit me like a truck. before i could even step off my porch Ham flew by us and was down by the tables with food within seconds. i couldn't help but laugh.
it was the fourth of July. the day to wave sparklers around and chase your friends with them. the day to stuff your face with hamburgers and hotdogs. the day to come together with your community. the day to anticipate the big fireworks that would be let off at night. and for us sandlot kids, the day to excitedly anticipate the yearly night game.
while Benny and Smalls and I stood there on my porch watching Ham devour hotdog after hotdog, we hear my front door open and close behind us. I turn around to see Evelyn, and she was wearing my LA baseball hat.
"give it." i just hold out my hand.
"fine," she takes it off her head and places it into my hand, "but mom says that you guys need to include me."
i roll my eyes. spending the day with Evelyn is one thing, but spending the day with her when we're around my friends is a whole other thing.
"god," i mumble under my breath, "can't you just go and make your own friends?"
"i mean i probably could," she looks up, "but i'd rather just hang around with you guys." she skips along past us and hops off the porch. she then turns around to look if we were following her.
"you guys can go," i motion with my head for Benny and Smalls to go to the party, "i need to talk to her quick."
they nod and start walking towards our neighbors and the food.
"ok listen here," i get close to Evelyn, "i'll let you hang out with us but you cannot embarrass me in any way, or be annoying. when you hang out with older kids you need to act like one."
"okay." she agrees and turns around to leave but i grab her arm.
"now i'm thinking acting normal might not be possible for you. so maybe just, don't talk. sound good?" i give her a thumbs up.
she rolls her eyes, "fine. i'll keep my mouth shut. but only if you tell me one thing." she smirks.
"okay, what?" i ask.
"tell me the full truth." she puts her hands on her hips.
"what?" i say a bit annoyed.
"do you like-like Benny?" she looks at him down by our neighbors and then back at me, "Because the way you talked about him that one night in the car with me and Jordyn when we went to get Taco Bell, it seemed like you did. but it's been a long time and you guys still aren't together."
i just stare at her not knowing what to say. she was my eleven year old sister, and i know she's a blabber mouth. everyone i knew was asking me that same question everyday and i was getting fed up with avoiding the truth. i knew my feelings, so what's the harm in at least one other person knowing.
"yes." i look down at my shoes.
"well then why don't you tell him?" she throws her arms up in the air, "it's so obvious that he likes you too!"
i put my hands over my face, "BECAUSE Evelyn it's complicated! you just don't understand. you're only eleven, and one day you'll be fourteen like me and you will understand. but for right now, don't go thinking you know everything okay?"
"but WHY?" she rolls her eyes.
"because he's my best friend and i wouldn't want to lose him if he didn't feel the same way." i push my hair back and take a deep breath, "i can't lose him Evs. i can't."
"but you'll never know until you try." she says, "stop being such a scaredy cat!"
as much as i don't want to admit it, she's right. she's totally, absolutely, 100% correct. the only thing holding me back was fear. fear i might lose him.
"what's going on out here?" Jordyn opens the front door and looks at us through tired eyes.
"none of your goddamn business that's what." i snap at her.
"jesus," she looks taken aback by my tone, "someone's in a mood."
"i'm not in a mood." i say, "it's just none of your business."
"actually it is my business because you two shitheads woke me up this early with your bickering." she points to her open bedroom window right above the front porch.
"okay, here's an idea." i step closer to her now, "don't sleep with your fucking window open!"
"woah!" Evelyn yells.
"you need to calm down." Jordyn holds up her hands.
"how many times do i have to tell you that when you tell me to calm down, it just makes me angrier." i take a deep breath.
"i'm the queen of overreacting," Evelyn walks beside me, "but that was over the top."
thank god all the neighbors were talking loudly enough to cover all our fighting.
"alright well i'm going back to sleep, but watch out if you wake me up again." Jordyn lets out a cough when she finishes talking.
The image of her smoking by the side of our house replays in my mind when she coughs, and i feel like breaking down.
Evelyn puts her hand on my shoulder, "you need to tell him." she whispers and walks away towards the neighborhood party.
that's all i've been hearing from everyone. Jordyn, Kenny, now Evelyn, and even Bertram at one point. thinking back on what his mom told me last night, made me think maybe they were right.
-
"i've never seen someone eat 3 hotdogs in one minute." Evelyn looked at Ham in amazement.
"i'm going to enter that hotdog eating contest one day and i'm going to take home the gold." Ham puts his hands over his stomach, "that's a promise i can make." we all chuckled.
we had been sitting under a tree in the grass in my front yard eating the food our neighbors were making on the grill.
"Mr. Adams is a god at making hamburgers i'll tell you that much." Benny points to where Mr. Adams, our neighbor, has his grill set up.
"i'm done." i lick my lips and everyone else says their "me too's"
Smalls, Evelyn and i stand up to throw away our trash, but before i could walk away Benny says "wait!"
"what?" i look at him confused.
"your shoe's untied." he grins.
"oh." i start to lean down to tie it but Benny stops me.
"don't worry i got it." he reaches over from his place on the grass and starts to tie one of my red high-top converse.
i blush and Evelyn slams her elbow into my ribs, giving me a look.
"ow." i hold my ribs, "don't do that!"
"ugh!" she throws her empty paper plate on the ground, "that's IT!" she yells.
"what?"
"what?"
"huh?" Benny, Ham, and i say.
"i'm SO done!" she walks between Benny and i, "you!" she grabs Benny's shirt, "and you!" she grabs my shirt, "stop acting like there's nothing between you!" she screams.
we both pull away from her grip and my heart stops when he looks into my eyes.
"what?" he mumbles.
"no. no Benny it's not-" i start to say but Benny interrupts me.
"you like me?" he says, surprised.
i tried to form words but nothing came out of my mouth. it's like everything had gone away and the only two people on earth were me and Benny.
"i-" my voice cracked.
in that moment i felt like my whole world crashed. everything was ruined. i lost my best friend. i finally break eye contact, and look down at the ground.
"yes bozo!" Evelyn yells at him. "isn't it obvious!"
i regretted telling Evelyn, she might have just completely destroyed everything. she might've just gotten rid of the truest friend i've every had.
i felt tears well up in my eyes, but before anyone could say anything, and before i let them fall, i turned around and ran into my house as fast as my legs could carry me.
as soon as i shut the front door behind me, i fell against it and slid down until i was sitting on the ground. i let out a sob.
"what-" Jordyn looked at me from over on the couch, "what on earth just happened?" she rushed over to me.
she tries to wrap her arms around me, but i push her away. "oh go smoke a cigarette." i snap and stomp off to my room. for a second i glance back at her, sitting there on the ground where i had been, looking broken.
i immediately wanted to take back what i'd said, but what's done is done. i could tell it was going to take a while before she forgot about that one.
i sit down on my bed staring at the wall, trying to take in what just happened. tears had stopped falling, but the crushing feeling of possibly losing my best friend was still there.
B E N N Y
point of view
Brynn turns around and runs up to her house before i could say anything. i was speechless, but relief and happiness washes through me as i start to realize what just happened.
"i can't believe it." i stare at the ground to then look at Evelyn "is that true?"
"like duh!" she rolls her eyes.
"i wish i would've known that sooner." i say.
"man," Ham put his hand on my shoulder, "everyone's been telling you that for weeks. it's been so long our clothes have gone out of style!"
"whatever." Evelyn says, "i can't believe i had to do that for you." she turns around and starts walking towards her house.
"wait i'm coming too!" i run after her.
"nuh-uh." Evelyn stops me.
"what? why?" i ask, confused.
"if i know my sister, she needs to be alone right now. she's dealing with so many different emotions at the moment." she sighs, "i probably shouldn't have done that. now she'll definitely hate me forever, and i was just piling on. what have i done."
"listen," i shake my head, "i must talk to her. i-" i didn't really want to disclose to Evelyn my feelings for Brynn before i told Brynn herself. i saw the tears start to form in Brynn's eyes before she left, and i wish i would've said something. i was just overwhelmed and didn't know what to say.
unfortunately, Evelyn ended up refusing to let me into her house to talk to Brynn. Even though i've felt comfortable enough with her family my whole life to just walk in their house whenever, i felt like now was just not the time.
i'm hoping she ends up coming to the night game. i need to see her and talk to her. i can't leave her to think that she's the only one with feelings. i know my best friend and i know it's probably eating at her at the moment. but there's really nothing i could do about it.
i left Smalls and Ham out at the block party while i went inside my house to think. i end up typing out a text to her telling her how i feel. the truth. everything. but when i read back over it i decide to not send it and it's just not okay to text someone that. especially someone i care that deeply about. especially not Brynn. she deserves to receive that information in person. especially after how stupid i was to not say something while she was standing right in front of me, about to cry.
B R I N L E Y
point of view
someone knocks on my bedroom door.
"come in." i say quietly.
when i sit up to see Evelyn open my door, i wanted to scream and yell at her. but one small part of me wanted to thank her. she took the weight i had been carrying for weeks off my shoulders.
"i'm sorry." she looks at the ground.
"it's-" i sigh, "i'm not mad at you. i'm just a little scared that i might lose Benny now."
"no. i really shouldn't have done that. i was just so fed up of seeing you two constantly flirting with each other but neither one of you actually making a move." she looks up at me now.
"i understand that." i run my fingers through my hair, "but please just respect that i'll be in my room until school starts on August 24th." i throw my covers over my head. "now if you excuse me, season three of stranger things just came out today and i intend to binge watch it. so go away."
in order to avoid Benny, i just decided to stay in my room for the rest of the summer with my door locked and my blinds shut. maybe the feeling of embarrassment would go away if i have all that time to myself.
"you can't do that." Evelyn walks over to my bed and pulls my covers off of me.
"why not?" i pull them back on.
"because." she pulls them off again. "Brinley, you need to live your life."
"you're eleven!" i laugh, "what do you know about life."
"i know that you don't live forever. and we learned this thing in school that there was a study shown with most old people that they interview regret more things they didn't do in their life than things that they did do." she pulls open my blinds.
"even if things don't work out with Benny, that's okay because you have your whole life ahead of you." she walks across my room and opens my other set of blinds. "so go play that night game. go hang out with your friends. stop being scared to put yourself out there."
i can't believe i was about to take advice from my spaz eleven year old sister.
my lips curve upward into a smirk, "since when did you become so wise."
"i always have been." she crosses her arms, "you just never want to talk to me or hang out with me, so you'd never know." she smiles.
"you know what?" i get up off my bed and start to put on my converse, "you're right. thank you, Evelyn." i hug her. i hug my sister for the first time in years. it feels so weird.
"okay, okay that's enough." she pushes me away after a few seconds, "i hate hugs."
"i know." i laugh.
"the sun is setting." she nods out the window, "go."
-
i remember what Evelyn said as i walk into the sandlot. replaying her words in my head gives me the courage to even show my face there. i could feel all eyes on me as i walk towards the outfield looking at the ground.
"Hey Brinley!" i hear DeNunez shout.
"It's about time you showed up the fireworks are about to start!" Yeah-yeah calls.
"yeah, my clothes are going out of style!" Squints yells and i hear yeah-yeah tell him that he says that too much. i giggle a little bit. that's the second time i heard someone say that today.
"what are you doing?" Timmy said to me as i passed third base.
"going to the outfield." i point towards the outfield.
"we already have enough people out there. we need you at first because Squints wants to bat after Benny." he says. i stood there for a moment thinking. i glance at Benny for a second, standing at home plate with the bat in his hand, looking back at me.
"uh," i start, "yeah. sorry, i don't know what i was doing." i turn around and start walking slowly towards first base. this was exactly what i had been avoiding this whole time. coming in contact with Benny. i didn't want to have to walk by him to go to first.
as soon as i step onto the base, i hear a loud BOOM in the sky and look up to see a big red firework. so it had officially started.
"hit me with a heater DeNunez!" i hear Benny shout, but i keep my eyes on the firework show in the sky.
embarrassment is not what i felt. not at that moment. though, thoughts did start racing through my mind. when i hear the crack of a baseball against a bat i look for the baseball to go into Mr. Myrtle's yard, and that it did.
knowing Benny had hit a home run meant i didn't really need to be focused on getting him out, so i set my eyes back on the sky, and my thoughts start racing again.
i had been so lost in thought that i didn't even see Benny walk up to me instead of running the bases.
"Brinley." he pulls my attention away from the fireworks. my heart starts racing as i look at him looking at me.
he reaches up and puts a hand on my cheek, "Brinley i'm so sorry i didn't say this sooner, but i have feelings for you too." he smiles, "but it's not just a crush. this is something more."
he starts to lean in, and i go along with him, and soon our lips meet. at that moment not only were fireworks going off in the sky, but they were going off in my heart. i felt like i was about to explode with pure happiness.
since neither one of us had ever had that experience before, it was close-mouthed. it was sweet, and pure, but passionate. i could feel it.
when we pull away, i look into his eyes and he looks stunned. "d-" he stutters and keeps his eyes locked on mine. "did- did i just kiss you?"
i half smile grows on my face and i wrap my arms around his neck. "yes." i reply.
"did that really just happen?" he breaths out with a smile.
"hm," i lean closer, "i don't know i think we better do it again."
i pull him in and he wraps his arms around my waist. and there we stood at first base, kissing. i can tell, right here, right now, that this is how it's meant to be.
"will you be my girlfriend, Brynn?" He looks down at me with a sweet smile.
"yes." i breath out, and then remember the home run he had hit, "now go get a home run." i smile and nod for him to run the rest of the bases, but he just stares at me.
"i just did." He grabs my hand and looks up at the sky, but my gaze stays on him.
-
AGHHHHHH FINALLY!! i loved writing this chapter so much and it's a bit long compared to the other ones but i do really love it and i hope you do too.
now i can add in cute moments with them dating and stuff and i'm SO EXCITED! i literally was planning this like, before i even started this book. there just seemed like no better time than the fourth of july.
i already said this before, but the only reason i dragged it out was because if they were really best friends their whole lives i feel like it would take time for them to realize they had feelings and stuff like that. i couldn't have Brinley move back and then the next day them BOOM be dating like no hahaha
but anyways, guys stop being ghosts please! i rlly wanna see more comments! (don't be shy, put some more) okay sorry bad joke only some ppl will get that. but here's the deal if i start getting more comments and votes i'll tell you all my tiktok!! i just hit 10k followers on tiktok the other day and would like to share it with you guys but first i wanna see some comments and votes;)
stay happy, healthy, and stay HOME during this coronavirus!! love you all! thank you for reading:)
published: 4/15/20♡