In December, I got to help Charlie decorate for Christmas. I was too strung out the previous year to really remember it, so I was determined to make sure we did everything we could this time.
Joel and I stopped talking, after he left the apartment last month. We don't see each other in the hall, we don't see each other in the building. It was almost like he dropped off the face of the earth, minus the occasional updates from Brielle. Several times I thought about texting him, or calling, but I kept myself from doing it.
“Attention space cadet Halcomb.” Charlie said suddenly, holding up a box of ornaments for the Christmas tree. “I do remember you mentioning to do this whole 'decorating' thing.”
“I've done more decorating than you have,” I retorted, taking the box from Charlie with a snort and setting in on the table.
“I'm old, I've earned a break.”
“You've had like, ten. In the past hour.”
“Lots of breaks then.”
I rolled my eyes, sorting through the box of ornaments for good ones to decorate with. Since Charlie lived alone, his Christmas decorations were severely lacking. I'd forced him to go out and buy more over one weekend.
Christmas break was filled with either decorating, eating, or sleeping. Since I didn't go out with Joel and Brielle anymore, it gave me pretty limited options on how to spend my free time. So usually it was in front of the TV with snacks, and literally feeling my brain rotting. But, halfway through the year and pulling straight 'A's, so I figured I deserved it.
Charlie was home on Christmas eve, which was going to involve multiple reruns of “It's a Wonderful Life” and probably way too much popcorn to be healthy. We had just settled in for the evening when my phone buzzed, an unknown number coming up on screen before I answered. “Hello?”
“Vic, it's Bri. Just wanted to let you know Joel's in the hospital for another overdose.”
I paused, frowning. “What? When?”
“Today. He's been here for a couple hours. He's awake, but...yeah. He's pretty much ignoring everyone's existence.”
Another overdose. Why did he keep doing this? I quickly thanked Brielle for the information before she hung up, then looked over to Charlie, who glared a little. “Uh-uh, no way. I'm not taking you over there tonight. Not happening.”
“But Charlie!”
“No, Victor.”
“Well, what about the uh, the Christmas spirit! Where's your Christmas spirit?”
“It's between runs of my movie,” he answered. I pouted at him, giving him the largest sad eyes I could manage. It took a few seconds, but eventually he sighed heavily, narrowing his eyes at me. “Fine. If you want to see him that bad, we'll go tomorrow. Happy?”
“No, but I'll take it.”
“Smart kid.”
The following day felt almost like we couldn't get there early enough. I even forewent opening my presents just to try and get to the hospital faster. Charlie sighed the whole way, but I tried to ignore how unhappy he was with doing this. I needed to see Joel, and know if he was okay.
It wasn't too hard to find his room at the hospital, but I was a little surprised to see Brielle there already, occupying one of the chairs by the bed. Joel was awake, like she said, but kept his eyes on the window across the room, pointedly ignoring any attempts to try and talk got him. I smiled a little to Brielle, and she gave me a small one back as I pulled up a chair beside her.
Charlie opted to stay in the waiting room as Brielle and I occupied Joel's room, the silence around us heavy and oppressing for a while before Brielle headed out, patting Joel's shoulder along the way. Even then though, it wasn't like conversation magically picked up. I stayed in my seat for a few hours before I moved to get up, figuring I'd made Charlie stay long enough.
“You...you said something before, that...that you thought rehab would be a good idea. Or something.”
I paused, not sure if I'd actually heard Joel at first as I looked at him. When he didn't speak again though, I settled for a response. “You have to go because you want to. Not because I want you to. It's something you need to do for yourself,” I said quietly.
Joel nodded, very slightly, but a nod all the same. I moved over and leaned down a little, lightly kissing at the side of his head and temple a few times before I moved back and left the room.
When school started back up in January, I expected to see Joel in the halls, like before. It was probably a really stupid expectation, but I still wanted it to happen. During lunch one day, I couldn't help but ask Brielle how Joel was doing.
She smiled at me in response. “Well, seems like he's taken your advice. Got himself checked into rehab, and his step-dad's paying for it.”
I felt myself smile widely. I was so hopeful that it worked out for Joel. I'd love to see him back to the way he was before, instead of skeletal and half-dead. I was so excited at the idea of seeing him once he got out, suddenly.
I even texted Charlie after school, to tell him. He said that it was a step in the right direction.
The next four months dragged by, and once May came around, I found myself constantly checking for signs of Joel. Whether or not his car had been moved, whether or not Brielle or Austin had heard anything. I focused on school as much as I could, determined to graduate on time. Over Christmas break I'd been bumped up to a Senior, and that was possibly one of the best Christmas presents I'd gotten.
Near the beginning weeks of May, before the Seniors were supposed to get out, Brielle and I were walking to our cars in the Senior lot, talking about everything and absolutely nothing at all.
“Did you hear about Mr. Larson's divorce?”
“Really? No way. When'd that happen?”
“I guess sometime over spring break. Before that he was wearing a ring, after that, just a tan line.” Brielle shrugged. I chuckled a little, glancing up to narrow my eyes at the sunlight. My new car wasn't as nice as my old one. The new one didn't have tinted windows. It did, however, have a color-changing radio. Win some, lose some.
I looked back down to Brielle, who'd started saying something about the English final, but something behind her caught my attention instead. Walking up through the parking lot, between cars and other Seniors running around, was a pair of bright blue eyes, and black hair covered with a beanie.
Brielle paused mid-sentence, turning to see what I was looking at as I smiled widely, almost jumping up and down from anticipation as he walked closer to us. He looked so much better. So much healthier. Even better than he did at the beginning of last year. I imagined there must still be some work that needed to be done, since he didn't look quite up to par yet, but it was an incredible work in progress.
Joel hugged Brielle around her middle when he reached us, picking her up off her feet as she laughed. “It is eighty degrees in May, what the hell are you wearing a beanie for, seriously?” she asked. Joel put her down and shrugged a little.
“Bad hair day, don't judge my fashion choices,” he told her with a snort before he moved over, coming up to me. It took all I had not to jump at him as he did the same thing with me, hugging me around the waist and lifting me up from the ground. I couldn't help the excited giggle though, feeling him smile against my neck.
“All clean?”
“Haven't touched anything in four months.”
I hugged Joel tightly at that, finally feeling more like it used to. Warm and comforting, like it should be. “I missed you,” I told him quietly. He responded by kissing my cheek before he released me, taking a step back.
“Right, as fun as this is, I've got six finals to study for, so you two have fun. Don't do anything too crazy.” Brielle said, smiling at Joel one more time before she moved to walk across the parking lot to her car. Joel gave a small wave, watching her go before he turned to me.
“Need a ride back to the apartment?”
“Oh, no, I got a new car last month,” I told him. He nodded thoughtfully.
“Well, I'll follow you then.”
“Yeah, okay.”
We separated, going to our respective vehicles even though I wanted nothing more than to just curl up somewhere with him. I might have sped slightly on the way to the complex, but hey, who's keeping track. It was pretty easy to pull Joel into my apartment, the two of us falling onto the couch after I dropped my bag off by the door. We sat as close as we could without being on top of each other, legs and sides pressed together as Joel moved one arm to rest on the back of the couch. “So, how'd rehab go?” I couldn't help but ask.
Joel smiled a little, then nodded. “Good, it was good. Took a little longer than I expected, but it was worth it,” he answered. “I also uh, officially dropped out. I'm gonna pick back up for my GED in a couple years. Until then, the uh, you know the guy we live with, he's got a friend who owns a restaurant, and he agreed to give me a job there.”
I couldn't believe how excited I was to just sit there and lean against Joel, listening to everything he said. It felt like I couldn't spend enough time listening, or touching. Four months away from a person makes you do strange things. I hadn't even realized when eleven rolled around, and Charlie was coming in the door. He seemed a little surprised to see Joel, but didn't comment on it, just nodding to us as he went about his business.
“Shit, I gotta go. Orientation tomorrow.” Joel mentioned, checking the time. I was sad to see him go, but stood up with him to walk over to the door, where we both paused. Joel hesitated for a second before he reached down to hug me again. I wound my arms around his neck, leaning into him as I sighed.
“I'm really proud of you, you know. For doing this.” I told him. He smiled again at that, leaning in to kiss my cheek one more time before he left.