ROCKET
Nico grabs me by the back of my jersey about halfway through practice. I'm supposed to be practicing with Paxton on some easy stuff. Fen has us back there and he's doing upper corner stuff with us.
"Nico I have-"
"Fen will get it."
"But Nico I have to be back there, this isn't helping me practice."
"You don't even know what this is yet."
"Okay but it's not what I'm supposed to be doing."
"And that's fine, just suck it up. It'll only take like two minutes."
"What in god's name do you need me for." She yanks me into an empty locker room and shuts the door. "This isn't like, late-phase hazing is it? You going to do something to me in here? I've got a big stick."
"No, no I'm not hazing you, jeez, chill."
"Then what in god-fuck do you need me for?"
She peeks back out the door and checks rink four, defence drills. "It's Yeti isn't it."
"What?"
"That's the guy. That's the almost-boyfriend. It's Rex."
"How the fuck did you figure that out?"
"Either he's got friendship butterflies for you or he's adjusting his pants every time he sees you for a different unrelated reason."
"Ah-"
"I work with nothing but boys and I'm only friends with guys. Y'all aren't slick when you're flustered." She tosses her hands up. "Plus he made a bottom joke with you on the plane and you're close with him for no fucking reason, also he's totally never had a girlfriend and I've never seen him even try to get one. It makes fucking sense."
"It could've been someone from not the program!"
"But you never talked about a friend from outside the program before all this. You'd've mentioned someone."
"Okay, fine, yes, it's Håkon."
"Hell fucking yeah. My hunch was right," she laughs. "Okay, so when the hell did that happen?"
"Christmas time? Dunno. I told him and then one day he kinda spat it out and we dated for like 24 hours, but then he had like a meltdown thing and I told him it wasn't a good idea to date him when he's not ready."
"Has he ever dated before?"
"Not dated. He's had odds and ends hookups, but that's understandable."
"What about you?"
"No, but he doesn't need to know that." I rub the side of my face. "It's, yeah, we need to have a long chat."
"Do that fast, he looks like he's dying every time he looks at you."
"He does?"
"Are you kidding?" She throws her arms up. "I want to slam my hand in the door around you two. It's fucking painful. He's all stoic for some stupid reason and it's clear you can't keep your eyes off him. Not to mention that he does the same pants move that Fen does when I'm around him. It's stupid how readable boys are."
"Girls aren't?"
"No! There's a hundred billion things that a girl would rather do than be understandable."
I frown. "Suddenly I'm happy I'm into guys."
"It's not that bad, most of the time if your boyfriend knows you well enough they can pinpoint the issue within moments. That's when things get better. First two months dating Fen was a little weird, then he caught up, now it's annoying because he knows exactly what the hell is going on at every single moment."
There's a knock on the door and when Nico pulls it open it's none other than Håkon himself.
He points behind him. "Hadley can't do anything without you, so he sent me to get you."
"Yeah, I got it," she turns and winks at me. "I'll leave you two alone."
Oh you asshole. I follow her out the door.
Håkon frowns at the two of us. "What does that mean?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing." Nico gives us a cheeky little smirk and I flip her off behind my back, making sure Håkon can't see.
He points at her walking away, confused. "What did I miss?"
"Nothing important, trust me," I nod at him. "Just Nico."
"Uh, I mean, that felt important, did, does she know?"
"What? No. No no no, I wouldn't do that to you." I pat his shoulder. "I'm going to go let Fen take slapshots at my head, enjoy defensive drills."
"Hold on." He grabs my arm. "If it wasn't about that, why the fuck did she just act so weird?"
I shrug. "No idea, girls, am I right?"
"No, Nico isn't girls. Nico is Nico."
"Okay, but Nico is biologically female, making her girls." I point out.
"Why are you acting weird. Ever since-"
"I'm not acting weird."
"Yes you are."
"I'm a goalie."
"That's a shitty excuse."
"This is a lot of worry for someone who's not my boyfriend."
"Why are you deflecting everything I'm trying to ask?"
"This is not a fantastic time for our first argument." I pull my helmet up to put it back on, but Håkon grabs my arm and puts it back at my side.
"You're deflecting. Why are you acting weird?"
"I'm not acting weird!"
"Yes you are!" He takes my arm and pulls me back into the locker room.
"God won't anyone just let me practice today? What's up with all this? First it's Nico and now you too? Next thing I know Steph's going to be in here bawling his eyes out over August for the third time this week!"
"Rocket I just want to know why you're acting weird, like you're hiding something."
"Feelings." I shrug, trying to come up with a good excuse. "You know how goddamn annoying you are all the fucking time?"
"Me? I'm annoying?" He seems a little shaken up. "You're the one in here being-"
"No, not actually annoying, I mean it's annoying to watch you skate around out here and not get to enjoy all this." I gesture at him.
"What the fuck does that mean."
"Enjoy it. You know what I mean."
"Rocket you-"
"I'm going to go back to goalie practice, Paxton and Fen probably miss my amazing company."
He's got a firm grip on the front of my jersey, so when I attempt to make my escape, I can't.
"Rocket you know you can't just say shit like that, right?"
"But I did," I shrug. "What, is it offensive?"
"No, I just, I won't be able to keep that off my head the rest of the day."
"Good, I like the idea of you thinking about me," I try to pry his hand off my jersey. "I need to go, though."
"You're still acting weird."
"I understand."
"So you admit you're acting weird because of something?"
"Yes. You, you and all that." Not entirely, but that's not an issue right now. "Now Håkon I promise to give you an extra kiss when we get back together if you let me go."
"Why not now?" He pulls me back over to him.
"You know why the hell not now." his head is close to mine anyway, and to avoid the urge I have to kiss him, I kiss his nose, and then slip out of his grip while he's still flustered.
"Rocket-"
"I gotta go!" I start to make an attempt at running in gear but he's faster with less stuff on, and catches me an inch from the door. "Håkon, I, I'll literally write it down, 'you owe Håkon one good kiss' if you let me go back to practice."
"I just, yeah, fine, yeah," He lets me go, standing there, his fingers on his nose. I turn back around, take one stride up to him, grab the front of his jersey and kiss his cheek this time. Then, before I can make any more bad decisions, I pull my helmet back on and book it.
I leave him standing in the locker room and when I show back up to rink one, Fen and Paxton look up.
"What did Nico need you for?"
"Huh? Nothing, she had a couple questions," I pause and reposition some of my gear. "Fen, I've always had this question, but how the hell are you so chill with Nico being around all guys all the time."
He shrugs like it's an easy one. "I treat her the best I can possibly manage, and if she decides that it's not enough, then it's not enough, plus, I know she won't leave me."
"How so?"
"It's Nico. I know Nico front to back at this point. We've been dating close to a year and she won't give me up, I know that."
"How though. I hate to be annoying but-"
"No, I get it, everyone I know asks this, why would you let your girlfriend hang around 25 professional hockey players, we're all dickheads. I trust her, that's the easy answer, and the other one is that she's just straight up not like that." he shrugs. "Why, you got some relationship troubles? I'm not good at advice, but I can try to help."
I flop backwards onto the ice. "So there's this guy I like, except he's not exactly..."
"Gay too?" Fen offers.
"No, he's gay, he's definitely into guys." I laugh. "He's just not at all out. By that I mean he doesn't accept it about himself, and I told him I wouldn't date him until he figures it all out, because he'll probably fuck it up if he hates the part of him that likes me, but,"
"But you're into him and can't get him off your head?" Fen is stickhandling around me, keeping himself busy.
I nod. "You ever look at Nico and all you can do is stare because you're wondering how the hell all that is possible together? How utterly perfect it all is?"
"All the time," he laughs. "Every time I wake up with her, every time I see her coaching, every time I get to go back to bed with her, every time I see her."
"So you know the feeling?" He nods. "That's what I feel around him, and I fucking hate that he's not ready for it, because I can barely keep my wits about me around him."
"I get that. That's what all of last season was like. Staring at her and wanting her that bad, but she's just out of reach." He laughs. "That was hell."
"Right?" I snort. "That's what's going on right now and I fuuuucking hate it."
"Just go for it, that's the best thing I can tell you. Fuck it is always the best answer. That's how I got her."
"Yeah, I guess."
"Who is he, if you don't mind me asking?"
"I'm not allowed to say. I can't out him."
"Makes sense." Fen nods. "Alright, get in goal, loverboy."
"Right, right."
***
yeah I think i'd like to
tie you in ways you can't undo
dinner in bed and korean food
say I love you just a little bit too soon
CVS - winnetka bowling league
***
yeah anyway