If I'm free, it'll be because of you. (Shirabuxreader)

Why do i feel like this

Shirabu's POV
I'm in the cafeteria thinking about what happened yesterday with (L/N), and I see (L/N) I want to ask her if she's okay since I'm sure it must have hurt when she (fell from the sky XD) hit herself with the wall. And I heard (Y/N)'s friend tell her "Hey, (Y/N) i heard you joined the volleyball club as manager." "Y-yes" "Did you join because of your little boyfriend that is there~?" Her friend said in a teasing tone. Does she have a boyfriend, why do I feel like this now? So mad yet sad. "U-uh, he's not my boyfriend." (Y/N) was blushing, I wish I was the one making her blush. "Hmmmm? What is he then?~" "I hate you." "Oh I know! How about your lover boy.~" What!? "W-what!?" She's so red, I feel a bit bad for her. Her friend the sees me and smirks. Why did she smirk? "For example, a Lover Boy is a guy who cares so much about his so called lover. He's a flirt and super loyal. Another example is that a Lover Boy is also most of the time super romantic and charaming. Now is there any other way you'd describe him?~" Does (Y/N) like someone from volleyball club? "Yes many other ways, let's see. First we are not lovers, second he's not a flirt, and also I cannot even tell about the other things since we have only spoken like three times." "But you do like him a lot don't you?~" she blushed even more, I start to leave and I head towards my dorm, I feel something wet on my face and realize. I'm crying, why am I crying? Why do I feel so empty? What is this feeling? I put my hand on my chest and clutch my shirt. Why do I feel that it would be less painful if I just ripped my heart right out of my chest. I then fall asleep.