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My whole family is dead. Why? Because they believed in diversity, open-mindedness. A better... a better life than this. I stare up at the foreboding doors of the elven kingdom, a tall guardian against me. My first opponent. All emotion. All I once was is gone. Gone is Stanley Marshwalker, friend to all, and keeper of the peace. Replaced by the ranger, the warrior, with one mission, and one mission only. To see the Grand Wizard King, Eric Cartman, dead, with his head on a pike.

In which Stan is a pathetic self hating drunk and Kyle gets him some help in the form of tissues and gay speeches and a little more whiskey. "They were soul mates. They were two sides of the same coin, two halves of the same heart. Everywhere each of them went, they carried each other in their very souls." (Ships: one-sided Stan/Kyle, Stan/Wendy, implied Stan/acoustic guitar) South Park one shot; all rights reserved