?mode=1&language=1&lim=&search=&utm_source=rss ¶¶ÒõÉçÇø - Discover a World of Unlimited Stories https://static.wattpad.com/be/image/logo.gif?v=1757963175 ?mode=1&language=1&lim=&search=&utm_source=rss /1561712209-part-i-eli-doesn%27t-bottom?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 7 pages</b><br/>Possession. Repression. Colonization. "Eli Doesn't Bottom" is a dark, absurd, and deeply queer satire that blends body horror, religious indoctrination, and alien invasion tropes into one gloriously unhinged story about identity, control, and the...Possession. Repression. Colonization. "Eli Doesn't Bottom" is a dark, absurd, and deeply queer satire that blends body horror, religious indoctrination, and alien invasion tropes into one gloriously unhinged story about identity, control, and the things we shove deep inside ourselves. Trigger warnings: religious trauma, internalized homophobia, graphic horror, and sentient sex toys.

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]]>/1049468272-explorers-of-the-unknown-vs-kaiju-foo-foo-1-the?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 8 pages</b><br/>Greenville's premiere paranormal investigators face their biggest threat when a giant bunny rabbit terrorizes the city. Fortunately they have a plan. Or three.Greenville's premiere paranormal investigators face their biggest threat when a giant bunny rabbit terrorizes the city. Fortunately they have a plan. Or three.

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]]>/1030543495-max-nebula-and-the-simpering-spark-of-hope-hope-or?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 3 pages</b><br/>Hope is a very tenuous thing.Hope is a very tenuous thing.

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]]>/1030541775-red-alert-in-the-department-of-human-asset?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 3 pages</b><br/>Oil prices have plunged into negative territory. The used car index has cratered. Governments are issuing a universal basic income to its citizens. Society as we know it is a house of cards built upon smoke and mirrors. There's a very dangerous r...Oil prices have plunged into negative territory. The used car index has cratered. Governments are issuing a universal basic income to its citizens. Society as we know it is a house of cards built upon smoke and mirrors. There's a very dangerous reason the Powers That Be don't want people to see the truth. ​ But it's already too late.

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]]>/1030538787-quarantine%27s-end-smoke-%27em-if-you%27ve-got-%27em?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 2 pages</b><br/>Canned tuna, cheese puffs, toilet paper, and cigarettes. ​ Welcome to the end of the world.Canned tuna, cheese puffs, toilet paper, and cigarettes. ​ Welcome to the end of the world.

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]]>/1030534572-james-and-the-giant-infected-peach-of-certain?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 2 pages</b><br/>Go out, they said. It's safe, they said. ​James and Dalah just wanted some fresh produce from their local supermarket. But when everyone isn't wearing a mask, the outlook can get a little ... sticky.Go out, they said. It's safe, they said. ​James and Dalah just wanted some fresh produce from their local supermarket. But when everyone isn't wearing a mask, the outlook can get a little ... sticky.

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]]>/1030530483-a-sinful-pivot?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 3 pages</b><br/>Coffee. Pandemics. Unemployment.Coffee. Pandemics. Unemployment.

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]]>/1029936862-pixel-perfect-part-i-the-appleseed-smartphone?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 8 pages</b><br/>Johnny is obsessed with his new smartphone and new technology designed to take the perfect photo, every time. After an awkward dinner with his family, Johnny's obsession begins to alter the world around him and he learns that the cost of perfectio...Johnny is obsessed with his new smartphone and new technology designed to take the perfect photo, every time. After an awkward dinner with his family, Johnny's obsession begins to alter the world around him and he learns that the cost of perfection can't be calculated by any algorithm.

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]]>/1024788228-florida-girls-part-1?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 6 pages</b><br/>A storm is brewing and fourteen-year-old Bernie has to get back to her camp before all hell breaks loose. Spoiler: it breaks loose anyhow.A storm is brewing and fourteen-year-old Bernie has to get back to her camp before all hell breaks loose. Spoiler: it breaks loose anyhow.

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]]>/1023397283-religiously-roasted-every-goddamn-day-author%27s?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 41 pages</b><br/>It's a pop-culture, bromantic musical comedy. In a book. In an act of cosmic irony (or at least petty antagonization) the name of the coffee shop located next door to the Christian bookstore is Religiously Roasted Every Goddamn Day. Alan works pa...It's a pop-culture, bromantic musical comedy. In a book. In an act of cosmic irony (or at least petty antagonization) the name of the coffee shop located next door to the Christian bookstore is Religiously Roasted Every Goddamn Day. Alan works part-time at the bookstore while his best friend, Dave, slings java at the coffee shop. After a series of brutal rejections (jobs, women, video rental membership), Alan is pretty sure his time in Orlando has come to an end. The only thing left to do is break the news to his best friend - he just has to figure out how to squeeze it in between conversations about an old man with a pinky toe fetish, the problem with institutionalized religion, and constant interruptions from the neighborhood's (semi) musical duo. It's gonna be a weird day at Religiously Roasted.

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]]>/949102437-videorama-preamble-don%27t-call-it-a-prologue?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 51 pages</b><br/>Tobey never wanted to run a video store. Liv never wanted to be dumped right after moving to a new city. George Lucas never wanted the prequels to suck. Let's face it, it's not gonna be a great day at Videorama. It's 2005 and Tobey runs a mom-a...Tobey never wanted to run a video store. Liv never wanted to be dumped right after moving to a new city. George Lucas never wanted the prequels to suck. Let's face it, it's not gonna be a great day at Videorama. It's 2005 and Tobey runs a mom-and-pop video store with the help of his one employee (and only friend). Together, they're just trying to stay afloat in a sea of Blockbusters, pop culture, bad movies, and customers with terrible taste. Tobey inherited the store from his parents, despite never actually liking the family business. In fact, Tobey doesn't like much of anything -- which starts to get problematic when Tobey's brother arrives with an offer he can't ignore. Videorama is a day-in-the-life comedy about friendship, family, and finding your passion in life.

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]]>/979943624-explorers-of-the-unknown-vs-the-last-gift-shop-on?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 4 pages</b><br/>A mysterious gift shop has mysteriously appeared overnight in a city known for weird, paranormal, and sometimes apocalyptic activities. But it's probably no big deal. It's just a gift shop. ​Probably.A mysterious gift shop has mysteriously appeared overnight in a city known for weird, paranormal, and sometimes apocalyptic activities. But it's probably no big deal. It's just a gift shop. ​Probably.

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]]>/967966562-the-red-dot-welcometotheblumhouse?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 1 page</b><br/>In this house, everyone votes red. Your life depends on it. On her 18th birthday, Harley's family thinks they know how she'll be filling out her voter registration form. After all, if Harley selects the wrong affiliation, it would go against a li...In this house, everyone votes red. Your life depends on it. On her 18th birthday, Harley's family thinks they know how she'll be filling out her voter registration form. After all, if Harley selects the wrong affiliation, it would go against a lifetime of right-leaning, conservative conditioning specifically designed to ensure the survival of the Party. Loyalty to the Party is not earned ... it's indoctrinated.

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]]>/959697150-punched-drunk-all-out-of-f-cks-prologue?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 11 pages</b><br/>Abraham Owens has the worst super power: empathy. It's so debilitating that he can't even be around people. It's a problem he solves with booze ... lots and lots of booze. When he runs out of money for booze, he indulges the gig economy, working t...Abraham Owens has the worst super power: empathy. It's so debilitating that he can't even be around people. It's a problem he solves with booze ... lots and lots of booze. When he runs out of money for booze, he indulges the gig economy, working the only kind of job he specializes in: punching things. Abraham Owens is no superhero, but that won't matter much when a mysterious villain weaponizes a growing group of white nationalists. Nazis are bad. Even a brute like Abe Owens can figure that one out.

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]]>/951735386-the-insufferable-silence-in-apartment-616-one-a?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 5 pages</b><br/>There's something terrifying about being alone with your thoughts. For Lizzie Stevenson, even five minutes is too long--that's why she's always chasing that next distraction. But when a home invader ties her to a chair, Lizzie finds herself stuc...There's something terrifying about being alone with your thoughts. For Lizzie Stevenson, even five minutes is too long--that's why she's always chasing that next distraction. But when a home invader ties her to a chair, Lizzie finds herself stuck between a rock and a crazy space, forced to confront a surprising darkness lurking in her past. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 15 minutes

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]]>/946853658-karen-finds-a-hobby-part-i-karen-vs-those-goddamn?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 3 pages</b><br/>Karen has an axe to grind. Her therapist keeps telling her to find a hobby. Her husband keeps telling her not to spend so much on the house renovation. To be fair, the useless wall standing between Karen and her open floor plan wasn't telling her ...Karen has an axe to grind. Her therapist keeps telling her to find a hobby. Her husband keeps telling her not to spend so much on the house renovation. To be fair, the useless wall standing between Karen and her open floor plan wasn't telling her anything, but it was definitely mocking her. Chop-chop-chop. TOTAL READ TIME: 10 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let me know!

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]]>/936093101-textme%F0%9F%98%98-a-writingcommunity-horror-story-part-i?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 19 pages</b><br/>A lonely, frustrated writer has a terrifying brush with popularity after he falls victim to a mysterious influencer with 2.2 million followers. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 60 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let me know!A lonely, frustrated writer has a terrifying brush with popularity after he falls victim to a mysterious influencer with 2.2 million followers. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 60 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let me know!

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]]>/943090154-explorers-of-the-unknown-vs-the-geriatric?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 5 pages</b><br/>It was supposed to be a happy visit with the grandparents, but the crushing pressure of a twist ending had different ideas. Now, a trio of intrepid paranormal investigators have been tasked to figure out exactly what's wrong with Nana and Pop Pop....It was supposed to be a happy visit with the grandparents, but the crushing pressure of a twist ending had different ideas. Now, a trio of intrepid paranormal investigators have been tasked to figure out exactly what's wrong with Nana and Pop Pop. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 15 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let me know!

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]]>/930148250-revenge-of-the-cubicle-zombies-he%27s-no-christmas?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 2 pages</b><br/>The office can be a dangerous place. Especially when there's zombies. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 5 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let me know!The office can be a dangerous place. Especially when there's zombies. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 5 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let me know!

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]]>/923704522-the-worst-zombie-apocalypse-in-the-history-of-ever?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 7 pages</b><br/>After an utterly avoidable zombie apocalypse descends on the world, two friends adjourn to their balcony to discuss life, debate politics, and shoot zombies. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 20 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let...After an utterly avoidable zombie apocalypse descends on the world, two friends adjourn to their balcony to discuss life, debate politics, and shoot zombies. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 20 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let me know!

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]]>/924258205-zombie-jesus-wants-to-save-your-soul-for-dessert?utm_source=rss<b>JordanKrumbine / 5 pages</b><br/>Tom and Cora were on a quest to find themselves. They found Jesus instead. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 13 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let me know!Tom and Cora were on a quest to find themselves. They found Jesus instead. ESTIMATED READ TIME: 13 minutes Enjoyed the story? Found a typo? Drop a comment and let me know!

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