��������

I call this a beautiful journey of my lifeless existence. I don't know what's happening, but I seem to be living my life all over again, in my mind. It feels so real but seems like a dream to me. I'm confused, lost, worried, but I hope to find answers to what truly went wrong.

The average human being spends every second of his day fighting against the force of nature to see another day. But I'm different. I'm not afraid of outside forces to take my life away - only myself. Approximately 10 years ago, something happened to me. Something really bad. But I'm not allowed to talk about it. As a way to release my frustration, I give hell to my body and everyone I come in contact with - especially my parents. No one knows about what happened except the ones who did it...and Him. But he didn't stay. Now, he's back and he's not talking either. I want to stop hurting, I need to stop. Make me stop.

"It's getting harder each day, so much harder. It drains me to have to constantly put up a mask, hiding how I really feel behind a smile that isn't even true. I don't think I'll ever find that easy, because it's not. The easy part for me is lying, it always has been. Telling them I'm fine always works. But the hardest thing... the hardest thing is realising that no one hears my pleads, my cries and my screams... leaving me to fix my broken mind." ~~ Cooper Bryan is a young boy living with his mother in California, he lost his brother and father when he was 7 and now, his mother is moving on, she's getting remarried. From bullying, to awful step brothers, to having monsters in his head, Cooper fears he won't make it through his teenage years... but he's surviving... and he's doing it damn well too. This... this is his story, with many ups and a million downs, this... this is Cooper Bryan's troubled life. ~~ DISCLAIMER: I do not own any photos/Videos or songs used in this �������� story. They were either found on google or YouTube

This is the truth about what happens everyday of my life. So here it goes. Welcome To My Shitty Life. I'm not perfect, and I'm not beautiful, but I do have a small voice that needs to be heard. I may be shy, but writing is my real escape, and who knows maybe this will last a long time.

All the times I've had panic attacks, bad thoughts, etc. Basically all that shitty stuff. Warning: mentions of self harm, negative thoughts, and generally just depressing shit. Updates will happen whenever as I write when stuff happens to me because this is actually a non-fiction story. It doesn't seem like I'll be running out of things to write about any time soon though.

"You're here because you can't sleep. Or won't let yourself eat. Maybe voices speak to you sometimes. Maybe... You don't know what's wrong. Whatever the reason, whatever the cause... You belong here. I suggest you get comfortable." (A Pentatonix + mental illness AU)

Summary: This story is about an incredible unique autistic girl and her two equally incredible best friends. Will they ever get out of the friend zone? A little taste of the story: Is it a sin to love someone too much? To say I miss her is an understatement. I can't eat. Can't sleep. Can't function. She is constantly on my mind as she dwelled herself deep inside my heart. My heart aches for her. Every time I think of her, I smile but my heart hurts like hell because she lives far away. Too far. Sometimes all I can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before I fall apart. Is it wrong to love someone this deeply at such an early age? I have inappropriate thoughts about her...about us. Not, as we are presently but grown up as adults. I'm jealous of my twin brother because he wants to take her from me. I can't let go of what's making me sad because its also the only thing that makes me happy. Her. I cannot lose her, because if I do, I will lose my best friend, my smile, my heart, my soul mate, my everything. If it is a sin, I don't think I want to be forgiven because I truly believe that God has sent her into my life to give me something to fight for, to show me there is love in this world, to give me hope and to bring me joy. All the proof I need in God is in her. She is a gift from heaven." ⚠️WARNING ⚠️ * language *drugs & alcohol * violence *assault & rape *nudity & sex

I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024

Go to school, survive school, go back home, sleep, repeat... But why does home not feel like home? Of course... It's 'cause I've never seen it... Why have I never seen it, you my ask... And I tell you, long history, dear reader... There are too many answers, which I don't see... Well... I can't see any of them... Like for example: Why is HE here?

"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard