抖阴社区

Oleander
  • Reads 364
  • Votes 24
  • Parts 10
  • Time 1h 39m
  • Reads 364
  • Votes 24
  • Parts 10
  • Time 1h 39m
Ongoing, First published May 21, 2015
There are many evils of the world, as of lately, and I've not so gracefully stumbled upon them.
And they've been cooped up in the house in which I've been asked to stay over for dinner at for a few hundred years.
Yes, I ironically managed to snag a dinner date with Hell.
More like, snagged a B&B experience in Hell, for months - or however long it takes for summer to be over with.
And the best part?
Nobody knows I'm in danger.
Nobody know how I live, with a knife at my throat every morning that I wake up...
It's great here. 
How 'bout you come visit?
You get the warmest welcome (three corpses at the front door).
Your room is decorated to your liking, until they wreck it. Or who knows? Maybe you get to go peacefully, and your belongings are kept until the next family member decides what a great time they're going to have down in Georgia.
Now I know, stranger things could happen.
But only in your mom's wildest dreams!
Burn!
Not funny?
Oh, it's something that Jay would say. 
But... you don't know him. So, you would've thought I was just being my rude self.
I'll let you in on a little secret.
I was never like this.
Never an asshole... I pretended, sure I pretended. High school is a death trap, you have to toughen up on the outside.
But on the inside I'm just a gummy shark, without the teeth. Just a gummy, gummy shark.
Seriously, give me a ring on the cellphone I conveniently don't have, because I know you wanna chill with me and the guys.
Just, text me, you know?
ON THE CELL PHONE I DO NOT HAVE. 
Thanks ma, you've killed me.
Literally.
I'm not trying to fit in, or be cool. It's called survival - and no, that's not me just being dramatic.
If I had a cell phone I'd be outta here by now. I could've called you, dad or Alex up and...
Shit! I FORGOT Alex was dead. 
Shit!
Guess its just you and pep pep. 
Dad'll save my ass. 
Right...? 
Shit, I'm stuck here.
Let my last words be something interesting like: "F*** the feminists."
Or something like that.
All Rights Reserved
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2015 rolled in with a bang, and it did not have the grace to gift me with a social life that everyone in a one hundred year radius would be jealous of or that is even just the talk of the town. Instead I got myself into a complicated relationship which wasn't much talked about, a relationship that I didn't get into is talked about all the time and university is around the figurative corner. That is where you can factor in people I suppose I should call 'fans', the fascination that comes in with cutlery, pots, pans and other formerly boring things. But let us not forget that my parents are finally getting married and Mum can't shop for lace without me wanting to kill her, add in a dose of sleepless nights, invigorating kisses - which have nothing to do with the sleepless nights and a lot to do with nightmares - Harriet not knowing the meaning of the words "you're done" and Ice Ice Baby is still a thing. We're all growing up (except Dad who will still make inappropriate jokes at every inappropriate moment, some to do with what cannot be done when you're wearing a plaster cast) and holidays are being planned though some are less holiday and more a mad dash to find somewhere to live out in the big wide world without our parents. Life might be moving on, but I still go to McDonald's late at night with my friends. Some things at least don't change. Sequel to: Falling Fast Complete