Fractured

{A/N: **TW** **EXPLICIT** this novel depicts graphic symptoms of mental illness / health issues and substance abuse }

Katya didn't want to look back, but she didn't want to look down either. She knew she recognized the voice but she didn't want to be wrong. Was she just hallucinating - had she already plummeted to the bottom and was broken in pieces on the forest floor or drowning and choking for air in the meagre river that remained from the last thousands of years?

She felt her arm get yanked up a little more and her chest pressed up against the wooden pallets, she finally took her right hand and placed it on the platform as the stranger kept pulling her up but Katya kept her eyes shut tight. She didn't want to know who it really was.

Katya laid back against the tracks and exhaled shakily, she felt her shoulder blades prod back against the wood, the small of her back and the space between it and the pallet and her shaking thighs pressed up against the platform. She licked her lower lip and chewed on it as she tried to comprehend what she had done and the outcome of her actions - for all she knew she could be dead and this was all just some illusion or false reality. She remembered how she'd once been told that the brain still had at least several minutes of activity left after you died - maybe this was just some weird but comforting vision.

"Katya...?"

She froze, her fingers started digging into the wood and she hadn't even realized yet.

"Please look at me."

Katya swallowed, she wanted to yell no or shake her head but instead she was stiff and scared.

"I'm not mad...please look at me..."

Katya felt a small and delicate hand cup the right side of her face, a finger combed back some hair behind her ear and the tip brushed over the end of her eyebrow ever so softly. She carefully and slowly opened her eyes, blinking a bit at the glare of the grey but still bright sky but before she could say anything she bursted into sobs.

"I-I... I'm so - so sorry!" She sat up and breathed in deeply before choking a bit and letting out yet another exasperated cry and wrapping her arms around herself while shaking violently...

"What the fuck is wrong with me..." she mumbled to herself and shook her head while running her hands up through her hair and pulling on it out of frustration:

"Why-why... why?" She muttered and snivelled.

A hand with nails that had been freshly painted pink rested on Katya's knee.

"It's okay."

Katya looked up and wiped her nose with the sleeve of her worn out and now partially torn hoodie.

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

She sighed as she was pulled in for a hug and whispered:

"I'm so sorry...I'm so fucking sorry..."

"No, Katya...I'm sorry."

Said Trixie.

{ A/N: as always thanks for supporting this book, and I hope you're enjoying, thanks for all the love on the last couple of chapters }