Out Of Control Sequel

TW's:
-Suicide attempt (ambulance+CPR)
-Suicidal thoughts/self hate
-Panic attack/heartbroken

Clay's POV

I had a really short dentist appointment and I immediately went to George's house. I didn't want him to be alone when he was sad. He had cried a lot and I was so mad at that new guy. George had made really small comments which now made me realise he was suicidal. I wish I noticed it earlier so I could have helped him.

I ran towards his place and opened the door with the key of their house. They gave me an extra key, because George's parents were often working and George always locked the door because that felt safer for him.

I opened the door and walked in. I was a little surprised about the fact he wasn't sitting on the couch. Normally I would come in on him sitting with his stuffed animals, waiting for me. But not today, he wasn't on the couch.

'Baby?'

There was no reaction. 'Baby? It's me, it's Clay. Did you fall asleep, baby?'

I walked to the door to go upstairs, but I saw a small letter on the table. Maybe he was doing something and wrote it on the letter. He knew I was coming after my dentist appointment. I grabbed the paper and started reading, but I went slower and slower. My eyes got bigger within a few seconds and my mouth fell open. I stood there standing with the note in my hand for a few seconds only staring at my hands.

'George?' I whispered. 'Baby?'

I didn't know how to move anymore, I felt paralysed. My hands were shaking and my eyes filled with tears. George wrote a suicide letter, my George tried committing suicide. I suddenly realised what was happening again. I threw the letter away and ran upstairs. I busted through his door and almost started hyperventilating when I saw him hanging there. His stuffed animals all fell on the floor and he was really pale.

'NO, GEORGE. NO NO NO,' I screamed.

I grabbed the chair and stood on it to untied the rope. I untied it and held George's lifeless body. I lifted him up and laid him down on his bed. He weighted nothing so I could easily carry him.

'BABY, WAKE UP.'

I started hitting his face and shook him heavily. 'BABY, PLEASE.'

I grabbed my phone, immediately called an ambulance. I kept hitting his face softly and I grabbed his wrist to feel his heartbeat, but I couldn't feel it.

'MY BOYFRIEND IS DEAD,' I screamed at a woman taking my call.

'Keep calm, what's your address?'

I told them my address. Well, telling them, it was screaming. I was hyperventilating and crying loudly.

'What's your name?'

'I'm Clay. Please, come quick. He's dead.'

'Can you tell me what happened.'

'He killed himself.'

'Does he have a heartbeat?'

'I don't feel it. Please, he is my boyfriend. I love him so much. He can't die.'

'What did he do?'

'He hang himself, please. Come fast.'

'Do you have any idea of how long he hang there?'

'Maximum of fifteen minutes, but I think shorter, around maximum five. I don't want to speak to you anymore, I want to be with George.'

'You have to stay on the phone.'

'NO, HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.'

'I know and I'm trying to help you and save your boyfriend.'

'WHY IS THAT FREAKING AMBULANCE NOT HERE THEN?'

'They are coming. Do you know how to do CPR?'

I nodded and started doing CPR on him. I looked at the stuffed animals on the ground and grabbed them, holding them tight against my body. Tears streamed down my face and I sniffed loudly, trying to breath calmly, but I couldn't. I was having a panic attack and I started hitting the bed.

'MY FREAKING BOYFRIEND,' I screamed. 'I can't live without him. I have his stuffed animals, I- I want to die.'

'How old are you, Clay?'

'I'm eighteen, why the hell does this matter?'

'What are you going to do after school?'

'SHUT UP.'

'I think you're still in school?'

'Y-yes.'

'What do you like to do?'

'Football and coding, but I broke my arm.'

'Aww, I'm sorry! Do you need to have a cast for a long time?'

'Four to six weeks. Can I please call my dad?'

'The ambulance is close, Clay. You're doing really well.'

I hung up without saying anything else and called my dad, breaking down even more than I already did.

'D-d-dad.'

'Clay, sweetie. What's wrong?'

I couldn't talk anymore because I was hyperventilating so badly. I kept doing CPR and it seemed like George was breathing very softly for a few seconds. I kept going and going and it seemed like he started breathing again.

'Clay, calm down. Where are you?'

'G-G-G-George.'

'Okay, what happened?'

'S-s-suic-c-cide.'

My dad didn't say anything anymore. 'I'm coming and I'm calling George's parents immediately. Did you call an ambulance or the police?'

'Amb-.'

'Don't talk more, I understand what you mean. Does he have a heartbeat?'

'I-I-I d-don't k-know.'

'I'm coming to George's place right now. I'm going to call his parents. Can you call someone now?'

'S-Sap.'

'Call him, I'm coming.'

My dad hung up and I called Sapnap.

'Yo what's up, dude. How are you? Wait, are you hyperventilating? Clay? What's up?'

'N-not t-talk.'

'Okay, that's fine. I'm here for you, I'll just talk to you. I don't know what's going on, but I'm here for you. I'm going to breath a little louder, okay? Can you try and copy me a little?'

Sapnap started breathing louder and really slowly. I tried copying it and after a minute I was breathing a little slower. I started crying even harder and I heard the doorbell ring.

'Door,' I whispered.

'Okay, stay on the phone for me.'

I ran downstairs after kissing George's cheek and opened the door. I pointed to where they should go and ran with them.

'Can you leave the room?' someone asked me. 'We have to do CPR and we don't want too many people in here.'

I nodded understanding and kissed George's forehead. 'I love you so much, baby,' I whispered.

I grabbed his stuffed animals and walked downstairs, curling up like a ball.

'What happened, Clay?'

'George-.'

'Stay calm, okay?'

'Attempted suicide.'

1066 words