~Smoke Off Your Tongue~

"Aw Fu-!" I yell sitting up from the guest room bed. I had just woken up from one of the worst night terrors this week, and only because I was able to force myself to wake up. I started breathing way too quickly for my liking so I gripped my chest in an attempt to slow my breathing. When it didn't slow down it started to scare me even more, but that only escalated the quick breathing.

     I heard some kind of footsteps coming from the hallway, then I saw Hawks kick the door off its hinges and bolt in, not panicking to his utmost ability. He ran over to the bed, sat on the side of the bed, put my hands in his, and started talking softly, though I wasn't able to hear him over my breathing. I felt a tear run down my cheek from the panic, although I know the only tears I could produce were made of blood because my tear ducts were burned. He lightly pulled my arms around his shoulders, put his arms around my torso and started talking into my ear instead.

     "Relax... It is only a dream... Let your mind catch up to your body... Just relax..." He continued to whisper as my breathing started to level. His arms were still around me but not in a suffocating way. He released me from the tight hug to wipe the blood off my cheek, careful not to rip any of the skin grafts. I stayed awake knowing that if I fell asleep I would only fall right back into that night terror.

     We adjusted so Hawks was resting his wingless back against the headboard and I was sitting between his legs dozing off slightly. Hawks promised it would help me feel less anxious. One of his knees was bent so my tail could fit, while my legs rested oddly on the bed.

      "Oh fork..." I started, still dazed from the adrenaline and leaning my head on Hawks' collar bone, "I thought I was going to die again."

     "Sometimes I forget you're a demon that has already died," Hawks chuckled half heartedly, resting his head on top of mine.

     We sat there for a while before I spoke broke the silence, "Do you know how gay this position is?" I asked, trying to keep myself awake by talking.

     "Yes I am aware, but it's comforting to both of us, so suffer quietly." Hawks said, wrapping his arms around my stomach and resting his chin on my head, between my horns.

     "Whoever said I was suffering," I mumbled, crossing my arms pouting. Hawks gave a little laugh. Hawks lightly touched my horns, before progressing to stroking them. I didn't have nerves in my horns so I didn't mind what he was doing, but I could still feel the pressure from him even touching them. It was somewhat relaxing.

     After a moment Hawks softly started talking, "Do you remember the dream or have you forgotten? Just remember that we don't have to talk about it you know."

     I hesitated, taking a long, deep breath and letting it out, "They aren't really dreams, rather they are lost memories... Most days they are toloratable, but today was the worst it has been."

     "Why didn't you tell me?" You could tell he was worried now.

     "I didn't think it mattered... It's just the past, and the past will always be delayed, even when it's on its way," I said, before both of us remained silent until I broke the silence, "Most of the night terrors are about how I got here..."

     "I'm guessing it's a sensitive topic...?" Hawks asked, not pressuring me into talking about it.

     I paused for a minute. Was it really that sensitive or am I just too tired to talk about it? I could only remember parts of it, so it must be because I am tired... But would I even want to if I was more awake? I guess I wouldn't, so it is sensitive. I turned around to look at him, "I guess..." Hawks smiled lightly as a response before starting to massage my back again.