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natalie atkins
zurich, switzerland
7:23PM

i had all these feelings about shawn and how much i just simply adored him bottled up, i wanted to write a song, another song about him, since moonlight was already dedicated to him, but he didn't know that - at least not yet, they weren't set to be released until after the tour.

then i remember that my mom once told me that when her and dad were starting their relationship, they took a lot of time apart because they knew that's how good couples were made, with time apart - but she also said that they had this thing for when they were in large crowds of people.

something to tell each other that they love each other and that to them they were the only person in this room, it was just a simple look they shared and when the other person noticed and looked back they would just raise one finger up, to show that it was them and only them.

i think that is just amazingly sweet and i wanted to write a song about that, because to me, that's all i want in a relationship - love, trust and someone i can confide in, when times get difficult.

but i also know that all great relationships are built on space, understanding and appreciation.

that's how my parents are still together, at least i think.

"baby it's just me and you, just us two even in a crowded room, baby it's just me and you, yeah." i sing along to some lyrics that i had just made in my head.

"wait no- this needs piano." i mutter to myself as i grab the keyboard that was resting on a rack, i begin to play some kind of melody, waiting for a tune to click into my head.

finally a tune came to my head and i got an idea for a possible chorus, "so won't you call me in the morning? i think that you should call me in the morning, if you feel the same."

-

it took me three hours but i finally got the whole song down, well not the whole song - there was something missing from it but i wasn't sure what, i think it might need a feature of someone but i wasn't sure who. it was probably a matter of getting juliana or scott to take a listen and suggest someone but it was definitely an amazing start.

i couldn't be more excited, i wanted this on my next album, for sure, i feel like it would definitely let me breach out to more different types of music within the pop genre.

"juliana!" i yelled, she comes to my room with her phone in hand as per usual, "i have an idea for a song, what do you think?"

"play it and i'll tell you."

so, i did exactly as she asked, i played her what i had which was two verses, a chorus and a pre-chorus but i did tell her it was missing something, i just wasn't sure what.

"how about a collaboration? i hear 6lack is looking for someone to collaborate with." she tells me, my eyes felt like they were going to pop out their sockets.

"6lack? there's no way he would say yes." i say and she shakes her head at me.

"record a demo and email it to me, i'll send it to his team, you'll never know unless you try, right?" she shuts the door as she walks out.

she's insane, but she has a point - i grab my phone and open up the voice notes app, resting it on the bed besides me as i play the melody and sing along to the lyrics i made, once i was finally happy with it, it took me a handful of tries, i emailed it to juliana.

well, here goes nothing, i guess.