Harry Styles Do Be A Potter

It was a dark and stormy night, the eve of the greatest heist in wizard history. They were big boys, big enough to stay up past their bedtime and to steal as many instruments as they so desired. 

They all wore matching ski masks with their monograms embroidered on them and met up in Harry, Louis, Liam, and Niall-Hermione's dorm (because she was pretending to be a boy, even though no one believed her).

From there, they traveled all the way to the secret exit underneath the indoor swimming pool. The pool did not currently have water in it because Hagrid kept peeing in it, so he kept having to drain it daily. Because of this, it was very easy to find the hatch door.

"Look I've found the hatch door." proclaimed Louis, pointing to the door, hoping that maybe if they didn't hear him this time, they would see him pointing.

Harry squinted, assessing his surroundings intently like a wolf on the fold, preparing to devour his prey, catching. "Guys, you won't believe this, but I think I've discovered a hatch door of sorts at the bottom of the indoor aquatic arena."

Liam gazed at Harry admiringly, "Harry Styles, you are the super smartest Hogwarts student I've ever seen in this superb society." his lisp resounded through the echoing pool chamber, kissing Harry's feet lightly (no tongue). 

"Agreed," Taylor saluted (she was American after all), "I'm proud to be your...'' she trailed off. It was a truth universally acknowledged, that Harry and Taylor's relationship was romantically ambiguous and that brewing underneath both of their macho exteriors, was a love so deep it put Aphrodite to shame. 

Harry blushed.

"Taylor!" Louis crossed his arms, "we told you to stay back, we don't want your name sullied in case our dirty deeds get discovered!"

Taylor laughed in her brother's face, "I told you Louis, I will go wherever Harry goes..." she blushed for a second before regaining her composure, "plus, I need instruments for my promising solo career!" she laughed a little too loud, in an attempt to hide her true feelings.
Louis grumbled something about stupid best friends hitting on his younger adopted sister who he wanted nothing more to protect before sliding down the side of the pool, following Harry who had gone off first and had heard nothing of what Taylor had said.

They emerged at the Hogsmeade public boys' toilets where men of all shapes and sizes and sexual orientation were peeing and pooping accompanied with the comfort of roaches, bursting pipe lines, and faulty stall doors. 

Taylor and Niall-Hermione turned red like driving a new maserati down a dead end street, quickly averting their eyes. 

Harry dropped down from the vent (not sus though), tipping his DIY hat (he'd made from Louis' nice long sleeved winter coat) at the men peeing at the urinals, and the rest of the gang followed suit.

They marched out of the loo with only shreds of dignity. 

"The Dominic Maestro's, the magic music shop, is down the street," Zayn murmured quietly, he'd been angry the whole night, perhaps because of the juicy love triangle he thought he was involved in.

Taylor paid no attention to this and looked to Harry for directions. 

When they made it to Dominic Maestro's, the doors were padlocked. 

"Alohomora." said Niall-Hermione with an ugly awkward wave of her wand.

"Woah Niall-Hermione!" Zayn's jaw dropped, "where'd you learn how to do that!!" his gaze lingered on the only other female in the group (beside Taylor) as he waited for her to respond to his eager question.

Niall-Hermione rolled her stinky brown eyes, "Hogwarts, you stupidhead."

Zayn gasped, "don't call me stupid! My father will hear about this!" He yelled, flustered. "I know plenty of spells! More than--more than the likes of you!"