The Wrong Party

Reina POV

"Thank you" 

"Of course" Tae answered as he helped me carry in our bags, my chest hurt so bad I wanted to lay down and cry some more but I felt like all my tears had dried up

"I'll have to go back to the house to pick up the twins" 

"Want me to go with you?"

"No, that's okay" I shook my head, I never should have given up my apartment. It was tiny, but at least I'd have my own home with my children instead of taking up all of Tae's space

"I'm sorry Reina" he mumbled 

"It isn't your fault Tae" I shook my head 

"He knows you'll all be here right?"

"Yes, I told him this morning, he called out of work to help. He doesn't want us to go but I think he's willing to give me my space. I also told him I'm not keeping the kids from him. He can pick them up or I can bring them over or he's more than welcome to come over here like you said" 

"Is he mad that I offered you my home?"

"I don't think so. I think he's thankful that I have a place to go while I need it" 

"And he knows about me, now?" 

"Yes" I nodded and he relaxed 

"Do you think there's a chance for the two of you?"

"I don't know" I pursed my lips, I love Yoongi with every fiber of my being. More than I ever thought I could love someone, I want to forgive him and run into his arms, but my brain and my pride won't let me. He hurt me in a way, I didn't know I could hurt. He opened up my eyes to another part of myself I didn't even know existed even though I had myself figured out. He took a strong, independent, confident woman, and broke down her walls, sunk his claws into her so deep, and then let go without warning leaving me as a codependent, un confident, sobbing mess. I need to find myself again, come back stronger. Be the Reina I was two years ago. 

I need him to understand that I won't just bend the knee because he wants me to. I can't just roll over and let him know that I still want to be with him. 

Hell no. 

If he wants me, he has to work for it. And if he doesn't? I'll have my answer and my closure. I know that he's in love with me. I know people make mistakes, but it doesn't erase the pain that comes with it. The pain that makes you feel like you're dying and you haven't the tiniest bit of hope to hold onto. My whole body aches, I want to rip my skin off and let my bones breathe, take a nap for a few months and wake up happier. 

I want Yoongi to hold me in his arms and tell me how much I mean to him, but the thought of that makes my skin crawl when I know he's been with another woman. He is mine, I am his. I know I'll never escape that, even if we never get back together. And that hurts too. 

What if he does actually move on and I can't? 

I'll just spend my life alone? 

If this was two years ago, I'd be okay with that. Hell, I'd be more than okay with that. But now? That's a devastating blow. 

I got into my car and took a deep breath before starting the engine, go figure the Playlist I had on just had to play a song that reminded me of Yoongi. 

Well, every song does really. I finally understood all of the cheesy love songs I've heard my entire life. 

"So kiss me like you did, my heart stopped beating such a softer sin. I'm melting, in your eyes I lost my place, could stay a while and I'm melting, in your eyes like my first time that I caught fire. Just stay with me, lay with me now" I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I focused on the road singing my lungs out