Ahsoka One Shots

Destructive, Part Two

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Her dreams were hazy that morning. Simple images, scenes, soft videos playing through her head. It was a nice break from the normal blaring noise of the force when she dreamt. Obi-Wan kept them at bay, she later figured out.

With one sleep cycle ending and the bright, heavy blip in the force that was Anakin, Ahsoka blinked her eyes in the sun now shining through the window and sat up in her bed. The time didn't matter after the night she'd had, even if she probably slept too late for classes. She didn't remember the last time she'd gotten so much sleep in one go.

In a few moments there was a gentle knock on her door. Waving lazily at it, it opened with a whoosh and in stepped Anakin. His face was remorseful, eyes low, hands shoved in his pockets, the faintest hint of a smile reaching the corners of his lips. "Hey Snips. Can I... come in?" She nodded. He sat on the bed next to her, the two of them wringing their hands in their laps with nervousness. Anakin about trying to talk to Ahsoka, getting her to explain, and trying to help her when he could barely help himself with the same problem. Ahsoka about how much he'd ask, how much he already knew, and how exactly she was supposed to explain what the delirious, depressed, exhausted Ahsoka had said hours before.

"Who goes first?" She finally asked, hoping to break the tension.

Anakin continued with a small grin. "Is it mean to ask you to go?" Ahsoka seemed to think for a moment before shrugging and answering, saying,

"Can you ask me questions? It might make it easier to tell you everything."

He nodded, seeming to think through his first question. "Obi-Wan told me you aren't taking care of yourself." Ahsoka stares into her lap in response, not wanting to focus on the problem at hand. "He said you weren't taking breaks. How come?" When she finds the courage to look up at him, all she sees is concern and love, enforced by their bond.

With a small breath and a gulp, she started the inevitable conversation. "I feel in control. When I work hard."

"In control?" He confirmed.

She nodded. "I can't control anything, no matter what I do people are dying and no one is winning the war, but when I study, and train, I feel like I can control things again." Ahsoka scooted a little closer to Anakin to hope he would provide more comfort. He came through, letting their shoulders touch as she continued. A physical feeling to keep her grounded, something he'd found was rather helpful to him. 

"How long?" Anakin paused, realizing he should specify. "How long have you been pushing yourself?"

Ahsoka breathed in slightly, readying herself. "A few months. Six tops."

"Six months?" He replied with worry seeping through his voice.

"Six months at the most," She reminded him. "It's not like I remember." At that, Ahsoka leaned her head on his shoulder in the bold attempt at more comfort from him. "I'm sorry, Master."

He softened at her quiet voice. "Sorry for what?"

"Sorry for making everything complicated, and scaring you earlier, sorry for being a burden I guess."

Anakin sighed, tipping his head into her montrals, wrapping her in a protective hug. "Ahsoka, you are not a burden. You will never be a burden. I love you very much and I won't let you hurt yourself, okay? Just let me help you." Ahsoka hummed into his tunic. Despite her extra few hours of sleep, she was still visibly exhausted. Deciding that when the conversation was over he would give her a sleep suggestion, Anakin continued talking. "What can I do to help?"

She released herself from his grip slightly, enough to speak. "I don't... I don't know." As an afterthought she added, "Just sit with me for a little longer?"

Anakin nodded. "I'm not going anywhere."

It was nearly ten minutes later when Ahsoka spoke up, not quite asleep. "Thank you," She whispered.

"For what?"

"For helping me. I'm just... I'm half alive. I don't want this. I want to feel safe again and I can't, not alone." Ahsoka settled herself back into Anakin's chest where she stayed, silent, unmoving, and safe.

"You're not alone. Not anymore. You come to me, okay? You come to me and you tell me when you need a break, and when you feel like you're not in control, because I know what that's like and I don't want that for you. I will do whatever it takes to make you feel safe." Anakin brushed a hand against her head as she nods. "I'm here now." lacing his last words in a sleep suggestion, Anakin finished in a gentle whisper, "You can rest now, Snips."

*breathes in* I'm going to regret saying this (because I have literally no idea how I'm gonna do it) but should I try a part three?

Idk if it'll even work but the options there, pray for me lol I can't guarantee I'll even be able to bust out 500 words but I'll do my best

So I just had that whole rant about my brother getting married and jazz, and I may need to rant again in the next chapter abt both my brothers moving out. I'm super close with them and it's gonna be rough.

BUT

That is not for today.

Have a good night/day/whatever and I'll see you when I see you :)

                                                                                                            -AB