my maze runner (Gally x Reader, Newtmas)

hi guys sorry for having no update for ages I just have had no motivation at all to write or post at all. Please let me know if you actually want more chapters otherwise I'll just stop

Antonia's POV- TW self harm

It had been six months since me and Minho got captured with some other people. Not a big surprise, we were tortured. For some random reason, I was treated the worst (hint my sarcasm). It was horrible. My self-harm got a lot worse but Minho was always there for me, bandaging my arms up and holding me when I cried and had my panic attacks. Whilst he couldn't stop them like Gally could, he still helped a bit.

Every morning, Janson greeted me with a scowl before punching me, sometimes knocking me out. we were at the hospital, and I felt like crap. I was hooked up to different things. Minho was on the side of me, also hooked up. I laid there for a while until people came in. They brought me out of the room as I acted unconscious. When they stopped pulling the bed around, I heard Teresa's voice. "How much blood should we take this time?" A doctor asked. "I don't care." Teresa replied. Before I could open my eyes again, they injected me with something, making me fall asleep.

When I had fainted, I had not gotten these visions, although now I did. Bad ones. Gally dying over and over. Losing Thomas, Minho, Newt, Frypan, Aris, everyone else. Being chased by a griever. Being alone in a maze but then Gally appearing only to die that instant. But the worst ones always had Gally involved. When I woke back up, all my energy was left, but I still managed to cry and sweat profusely. I was back we're me and Minho were in the beginning, but not hooked up to anything. I sat up and saw Minho sitting there looking at the ground, almost as bad as me. "Minho?" I questioned. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. I opened my arms and he walked over and sat down beside me before hugging me. I quickly fell asleep, due to exhaustion. The next couple of days were exactly like that, and all the doctors kept telling me that my blood has had the best results, though I don't know what that means. One day, the draining was particularly bad, and I passed out as soon as I got out of the dream. I always woke up with Minho by my side though.

We were riding on a train to go to the main wicked headquarters which I wasn't too happy about. I was sitting next to Minho with our hands chained to the top when I heard banding on the side after our train stopped. "Antonia! Minho!" I heard someone yell. I could easily tell it was Thomas. Me and Minho looked at each other before yelling and hitting our chains so he could hear us. Just when the banding stopped, guards came in. They walked through the isles until they got to me and Minho.

They started to cut our chains off and had just finished Minho when we heard a loud drilling noise coming from the side of the train. "Come on, hurry up!" One of the Wicked guys called to the person who was tying a bag to Minho's head and pulling him up and giving him to another officer. He moved onto me. He cut my chains and I wasted no time in punching and kicking him.

I heard his nose break and it started pouring blood- he wasn't wearing a helmet, unlike his colleagues. We heard a clang and we heard Thomas yelling that it was nearly done. "Just leave her! We at least have him." The wicked guard said to broken nose dude. Both ran out of the carriage before I had time to try to get Minho out.

I fell to my knees, I had just lost my best friend. It was all my fault. I didn't try to save him, I was so focused on myself and getting myself free. I was free in the carriage, unlike everyone else so I walked past everyone, including Aris and Sonya before getting to the back of the carriage where no one else could see me.

I let my tears pour down my face and took out my blade. I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing. You'd think that when I took a blade to my skin is when I would be in a panic, crying uncontrollably, hyperventilating. But really, when I feel my skin split in two is when I feel the most calm. I'm in control of what I feel, how I feel. Red streaming everywhere I put my blade away and sigh. What have I done?