Stigma

One of the doctors picked of the stabled stack of papers I was reading earlier. "How is he?!"

The guy who has been silent up until now speaks up. "Mr. Jeon will be fine. I would suggest that after a week or two here recovering that one of you take him home with you. A man his age shouldn't be left alone for very long."

I look over at the couple knowing I won't be able to bring him back to Seoul with us. The dorm is two small already.

Not wanting to let the strangers even near him let alone watch over him. Grandpa was always a secretive man but Ive been with him for almost 4 years and never even hear about the possibility of him having a kid.

"This isn't something we need to figure out right now ok guys lets just be happy that Grandpa is gonna be alright." I grumble not likeing the situation.

"Can we see him?" The lady asks completely ignoreing me. "Unfortunately not for another hour, we still have to get him cleaned up and moved into a room."

The doctor excused himself and I turned around back to the food. Shoveling it into my mouth barely tasting any of it. "Yooni," I ignore him.

"Yoongi." Namjoon snatches the spoon from my hand and pulls the food away. "Your going to make yourself sick like that."

"I don't care." I need a destruction. Everything feels like a million pounds on my shoulders. The pressure to make our debut good, grandpa falling ill, having to hand him over to complete strangers I never even knew about, Namjoon asking about my life.

It's all too much.

"Hey Yoongi, why are you-"

I need some air.

I get up brushing Namjoons hand away and speed walk down the hallway heading out of the hospital. Getting into the car and driving away just as Namjoon makes it out of the hospital trying to follow me.

I don't know where I'm going I just am.

My phone rings, the same annoying tone as always. 'Dimples<3' I cancel the call only for him to call right back.

We start a small fight of calling and canceling but I end it by powering off the phone. Throwing it in the back seat and ignoring the nagging feeling of gilt.

I don't want to be around anyone right now.

Finding myself parking on the side of the road next to a park. The same park that is dangerously close to my parents home. The same park that grandpa found me in. The park I haven't been to in almost 4 years.

This park, this bench saved me once, it can do it again.

I curl in on myself laying down on the old wooden bench. The crisp autumn wind creating goose bumps all along my arms. The hair on my neck standing upright in the cold.

Life was so much simpler 6 years ago. Before the 7th grade. Younger than Jungkook at the time when I got my first boyfriend.

I didn't tell my family about him mostly because I only dated him for a week and it was to try and figure out if I was gay or not. Neither of us actually liked each other more than friends do so it didn't work out despite us both realizing we are gay.

My second boyfriend however I will never forget him. His name was Abilio Côté. I was completely head over heels for this boy. When we first met he was around my hight but hit a growth spurt a few months later. Growing at least half a foot taller than me. Long and lanky clumsy and uncorrected, yet at the time the best thing that I've ever laid my eyes on.

He was a transfer student from Brazil and didn't speak korean well, but I loved him all the same. We talked constantly despite the difficulty of it all. He tought me Portuguese and I tought him Korean we even mixed it together to pass notes in class so the teachers wouldn't understand.

A year into our secret relationship we both decided to tell our parents. It didn't end well for either of us. Abilio's family decided to pack up everything and move back to Brazil because of it.

From that day forward my life has been hell. That is until grandpa, and Namjoon. They both welcomed me with open arms and hearts. Made me feel like a person again. Made me feel like I deserve better, made me feel loved.

And yet I ran away from both of them. Their open arms and warm embrace.

Hot tears stream down my face and into my knees. They feel like fire compared to the icy air around me.