Escaping you |EDITING|

Chapter 10-Atlas

"One last time, breathe out for 8 seconds"

Breathe out for 8.

"Repeat it."

4 seconds in.

Hold for 7 seconds.

Breathe out for 8.

Im fine.

I breathe out and I see Zach and Ev standing in front of me, Eli behind them. I can't believe this happened again.

I run out of my room and Everette hold me close to him as we walk towards his room.

"What happened baby?" He asks.

"I told Eli to get help or I'd tell mom and dad. He said that he started taking the pills because of my panic attacks in the first place. It was my fault Ev. Everything is always my fucking fault. No one noticed my brother was struggling because they were so concerned with me. That's what's happening now. No one knows about his problem and everyone is worried about mine. I'm the reason he takes pills. I'm the reason my family is falling apart."

He pulls me next to him, my legs overtop of his and my head lying on his chest. He makes me look up at him.

"It is not your fault. No one made Eli take pills. He didn't take them because of you. I don't know why the fuck he'd tell you that but that's not true alright. He was just trying to cope. And of course your family is worried about you. You're their daughter. They'd be worried about any one of you, Paige, Eli, Zach, everyone would be worried about them too. No one knew about Eli's problem because he didn't tell anybody. It's not always something you can just, notice. Atlas you aren't at fault. And you were right for telling Eli he needs help. Because he does need help. He loves you, Atlas, they all do. Just think about it this way, would you be worried, if someone else in your family was having panic attacks like you are?"

I nod.

"See, it's just instinct. We care about our family's and that means we worry about them when they're hurting. Just like you're worried about Eli now. But we can't force Eli to get help. He has to do that because he wants to. You're okay, everything's okay. Nothings your fault. Not one thing."

He pulls my head to his chest before pressing a kiss to my lips.

"How do you always know what to say?" I ask him with tears in my eyes.

"I just say what needs to be said. Don't cry sweetheart. You're okay." He wipes a tear from my cheek and I kiss him again. I would love to just sit here in his arms but I'm so tired of doing that. I need to say something to Eli.

Just as I begin to walk out of my room him and Zach come in. "Atlas I'm so fucking sorry. Our brother is a fucking asshole. It's not your fault. I could beat his ass for saying it is."

"Were you listening to our conversation?" I ask them.

Zach nods. "Nosy fuck." I mutter and I hug him.

"I love you atlas." Zach says as he wraps his arms around me. Me and Zach haven't always gotten along or been as close as we could've been, but he's still my big brother, and I love him so much.

"I love you too."

"But you," I say pointing To Eli.

"I'm fucking pissed at you." I say.

"I know. I'm sorry." He says.

"I don't forgive you. Not yet."

"I'm not going to force you to get help but you aren't going to blame me for your problem. Because unlike mine you had a choice in the matter, even if yours was unfair."