"Just another one please, Bill," she slurred at the bar, slamming her glass down in front of him as her head continued to spin.
Bill shot her an apologetic look. He knew she was hurting, just couldn't exactly pinpoint why. Nobody could. And it was safe to say that people in the neighbourhood were growing increasingly worried for her health and safety. She had become the talk of the town. "How 'bout I make you one of my famous margaritas, eh?" he asked with a smile, not even bothering to wait for her response as he begun to make her one of his 'margaritas', discreetly substituting the tequila for water, in attempt to sober her up a little.
Drinking herself blind was a new daily occurrence for the noirette. Getting pissed in bars to the point she couldn't see anymore had quickly became her favourite coping mechanism. She wasn't at all like that, usually. Didn't even drink that often. She knew full well that if she were to ever recover from the past few weeks, she'd be embarrassed looking back at herself. Ashamed even. But she didn't care. She had no intention of recovering. The thought of it just didn't seem possible.
Bill watched carefully as she sipped the non-alcoholic solution in un-amusement and boredom. He gulped as she begun to eye him up suspiciously. She then slid the drink back across the bar, towards him, as she stumbled to her feet. "Dick," she spat knowingly, wiping the boring liquid from her chin as she made her way outside, leaving Bill with no other option than to sigh in defeat as he cleaned out the glass.
Smoking had become another one of her favourite coping strategies. She didn't even like the taste, just simply enjoyed the knowing fact that it was quickening the pace at which she would decease.
She watched the smoke from the end of her lighted stick ascend up into the darkness of the night, exhaling the fumes as the smell of her cigarette became evident on her clothes and in her hair, mixed in with the scent of her favourite perfume and shampoo. She was too drunk to think straight. She simply had no thoughts on her mind other than how fucking sad her life was at that given moment. How she genuinely had no purpose or reason to continue living at all. She was simply a burden to others around her, like Bill, and felt embarrassed for having made everyone feel concerned for her when they shouldn't have to worry for someone like her.
But they didn't know the truth. Didn't understand the hurt. To people on the outside, she simply looked like an alcoholic. A junkie. A whole big fucking mess. And in a way, she was. It was who she was slowly starting to become. But she was okay with that. Couldn't have cared any less. It seemed as though being either drunk or high was the only way of making it through the long, agonising days that followed after that night.
The night where her whole life simply went to shit.
After her stick had burnt out, she dropped it down onto the pavement and used her heel to lazily put out the smoke. She thought about going back home and calling it a night there and then, but came to the realisation that there was no point, as 'home' didn't feel homely at all anymore. She knew Bill would cave in anyway - he'd end up giving her another drink or two. And if he didn't, she knew he wouldn't put up enough of a fight in stopping her from climbing over the bar and helping herself to whatever she pleased. That was the joy in having a local bartender that knew the ins and outs of your twisted backstories, I suppose.
"Phhuuweet-pheeeew!" a man wolf-whistled from across the room as she re-entered the building with a small cough to clear her throat. Two of the three men who sat beside him began to chuckle.
"That's enough," the only one of the four who's mouth formed a line at the short-haired mans catcall said sternly, making the other three roll there eyes but keep quiet nonetheless.
She looked over at the small group of men through her blurred vision on the passing, taking a note that they must have been fairly wealthy due to the fanciness of the suits that they were each wearing. The one who had whistled at her showed his teeth at her in a repulsive smirk that made her feel sick and frown back at him in response.
