Rip and Tear (Into my A**):(Doomguy X reader)

You woke up really slowly, then, you indulged in a positively excessive, luxurious stretch.

You were more comfortable than you had ever been, who could blame you?

"Do I smell...are those pancakes?"

You vaguely remembered where you were, but you did forget about Vega for a moment.

"Indeed, the Slayer is located in the kitchen currently, he has something to discuss with you, may I suggest a shower before you join him? I can provide a fresh set of clothing, though I must apologize for the limited size range."

Man, if the fricking AI was calling you out about your appearance and smell, it must really be bad.

"I'd really like that actually, are there showers around here somewhere?"

"If you open the door on your left, you should find the bathroom."

You slowly (oh so slowly) got out of the bed, finally taking the time to look around and seeing that the view from the bedroom windows included a stunning vista of earth.

"Fuck." you stared for a moment in total awe. "I've seen the view before in pictures, but never in person, I always wanted to go to space as a kid, but I never thought I would actually be there."

Your planet was beautiful.

"I just-I kinda wish it was whole."

"Many humans share the same sentiment, Earth is the home planet, they are often quite protective over it."

You took a deep breath, unable to tear your eyes off of the green and blue sphere, slowly rotating and burning in the black of space.

"You're not just talking about any human, are you?"

...

"Perhaps there is one that I am referencing more than the others."

"Perhaps." you finally turned away from the window and opened the door to the bathroom.

You promptly shut it again.

"Uh, Vega?"

"Yes?"

"Is this the Slayers personal bathroom?"

"Indeed."

"Uh, his suit is on the floor."

"Yes, he showered when he re-entered the Fortress, I do not have access to the bathroom to retrieve it, I apologize for the mess."

Your brain ground to a halt.

He had been naked. He had been naked, and practically right next to you.

Oh shit, what if he had come out in just a towel? All clean and steamy and with his skin flushed from-

You needed to take a very, very cold shower.

You steeled yourself and opened the door.

"Um, do you want me to bring the armor out?"

"Indeed, the slayer did not bring it out because he did not want the noise to wake you. If you were to remove the armor from the bathroom, I could retrieve it for proper cleaning."

You hooked your arms under the main piece of his chestplate and started pulling.

"Holy fuck, how much does this weigh?"

"The chest plate you are currently moving is roughly one hundred and seven pounds, the various extremities of the armor add an additional seventy pounds, and the lower half of the armor is one hundred and twenty."