Don't Save Me

Chapter 41: Forgiveness

"Do what?" he asked.

"Push me away," I replied, burying my face in his chest.

"Never again, Y/n."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Well, it's about damn time!" Severus and I jumped and pulled away from each other as Rodolphus loudly showed his joy.

"Now, kiss her!" Regulus shouted. Severus turned bright red and slapped the back of Regulus's head.

"Shut up," he growled. I couldn't help it. A smile broke out across my face and I broke into laughter. 

"He's right. We'll save the kiss for our wedding."

"Oooooohhhh! Are we invited?" Regulus asked, lightly punching Snape's arm.

"Obviously," I replied, laughing. For the first time in weeks I felt truly happy, though it didn't last long as footsteps echoed down the corridor. I heard laughing and I instantly knew who it was, even before I heard their voices.

"Did you see his face?" Peter laughed as they turned the corner. James locked eyes with Severus, not even noticing I was there.

"Well well... look what we have here."

"Shut it, James," I replied, finally making my presence known.

"Y/n!" Sirius exclaimed, stepping in between James and I, pulling me into a hug. "We missed you."

"Yeah, whatever," I replied, pulling away from the hug. His hands traveled down my arms as I pulled away, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Y/n..." Sirius whispered, slowly moving closer to me. His lips moved close to my ear and his chest pressed against mine as he moved his hands around my waist. "Please forgive us... forgive me," he whispered. My breath hitched as I felt his warm breath against my ear. My heart hammered in my chest and my breathing became more erratic.

"Sirius... don't," I whispered, trying to slow my breathing. If my heart hammered any faster, I could swear Sirius would be able to feel it against his chest.

"Don't what... Y/n? What don't you want me to do?" he breathed into my ear.

"Th-this..."

"Hmm... What am I doing that you aren't enjoying?" he replied. No... Move away. Move away from him! My mind screamed, though I couldn't focus on anything other than the feeling of his body pressed so close to mine. I placed my hands on his chest, trying to lightly push him away, but it was no use. His strong arms held my body close to his, though I wasn't exactly fighting too hard to get away. It was as if all my senses were on overdrive and his scent was intoxicating me, making any logical thought be pushed out the window. He pulled back only slightly, just enough so he could face me. He cupped my cheek with his hand and slowly brought his face closer to mine. What am I doing? His lips hovered over mine but before he could connect them, I quickly pushed him away.

"What the hell?" I whispered, more to myself than anything. I moved my hand to my head as I felt dizzy from the encounter. Severus moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, steadying me.

"Are you alright?" he asked, gently resting his chin on top of my head.

"I'm fine."

Sirius looked down, no longer able to meet my eyes. Severus gently rubbed my arms, softly moving up and down, leaving goosebumps behind, similar to the way Sirius's hands had. What the hell? I didn't understand the sensations taking over my body and I pulled away quickly, though Severus still held my hand in his.

"I'm sorry... I- I need to go," I said, feeling the tears forming in my eyes, but refusing to let anyone see. Severus's hand released mine and his fingertips brushed mine as I let go, my fingertips tingling where they had brushed. I quickly turned away and headed back to my dorm. Severus and Sirius are my friends... What the hell was that? Why do I feel like this? I slipped under the covers and tried to turn off my spinning mind.

...

I tossed and turned most of the night, not understanding the feelings I had for Severus and Sirius. Both made me feel different things but in similar ways. I don't know how else to explain it. Memories of last night flashed in my mind: the way Sirius's lips had hovered over mine for a moment, the way Sirius's hands had felt around my body... but then there were the moments with Severus. The way his chin rested against my head and I could feel his heartbeat as my head rested on his chest. The way we could communicate so much without a single word. He always seemed to know just what I was thinking and when I needed him. I knew I needed him right now, but... I didn't even know what I was thinking at the moment about the way I felt. I didn't know how to feel... I just knew that their touch was enough to send shocks of electricity through my body... and I knew that I wanted them to hold me... the question was... which one? They were both my best friends and I could feel that I was starting to fall for them. What the hell do I do now?